Memento Vivere
by Enkida
Summary: Sin is a memory, Vegnagun is scrap metal and a new era of peace has swept over Spira. It's not enough for Rikku, who is still waiting for her own story to begin. But what happens when her search brings her on a pilgrimage to the past... literally?
1. Where's My Happy Ending?

_**Author's Foreword:** This piece is a little bit of comedy, a little bit of romance, but most of all, a lot about friendship - so I want to dedicate this to the memory of two very special friends of mine - nothing's ever in vain. The story starts sometime after the events of FFX-2, which would make Rikku around 19 or 20 years old. I really hate it when you have to work to translate dialogue, so if you suspect something is being said in Al Bhed you're probably right. Finally, I don't speak Latin (no one does, really) but I believe Memento Vivere roughly translates to "Life Reminder" meaning "remember that you have to live."_

_As usual, all standard disclaimers apply. All in fun, no profit, Square-Enix has the rights to everything; please don't sue me for copyright violations, etc. _

_Though I no longer have the time to answer every review personally, I really appreciate each and every one, and want to thank readers for taking the time to comment on this story. Last but not least, a special thanks to Fwe for being a wonderful beta and rr1963 for unwittingly spawning the plot bunny that led to all this._

_**March 2007 Edit:** I've been trying to catch all the mistakes that are still in here, particularly those created by this site's crappy document editor. I've also been adding titles to the chapters. Nothing truly significant to the plot has changed in previous chapters._

_And so without further ado..._

* * *

**- 1: Where's My Happy Ending? -**

Rikku was feeling cheated. She sprawled herself messily over the deck of the gently humming airship and let the wind wash over her face. It was a beautiful day; then again, almost every day in Spira was beautiful since both Sin and Vegnagun had been defeated. People were so wildly happy that Paine would often be heard groaning about how all the good cheer and smiles made her want to break a few teeth. While usually Rikku was content to let herself be a part of Paine's problem, today was different. Sure, it was just as beautiful as any other day in Spira, full of smiles and happiness and song and dance, but something was off. Something besides the fact that Yuna and Paine were no longer travelling on the Celsius with her, nor had they been for almost half a year.

With Tidus' return, Yuna was content to settle in Besaid for a much-deserved rest. Paine, on the other hand, had left to serve under Nooj once more, as had the rest of the boys from their close-knit Crimson Squad circle. It was in fact their group that was largely responsible for maintaining the peace and stability that Spira currently enjoyed. And that left Rikku with Brother, Buddy and Shinra on the Celsius; they were still the Gullwings and still involved in the never-ending hunt for spheres, even if their numbers had thinned.

Rikku knew she should be happy, satisfied with her lot in life. It wasn't everyone who got a chance to save the world, and she actually had done it twice in a row! Still, she felt as though something was missing; adventures were well and fine, but Rikku wanted to do more than just save the world. Or more accurately, she wanted to do less than save the world for once. She wanted to find that little niche of contentment that both Yuna and Paine had managed to carve for themselves; she wanted to belong somewhere, with someone. And while she didn't doubt that Brother would manage to make a complete mess of things if she wasn't around, spending the rest of her life with the Gullwings was not Rikku's idea of a good niche. At that moment it seemed more like an unavoidable pitfall. Closing her eyes, Rikku took a deep breath and examined the little ball of discontent in her stomach closely: Yep, a slight constriction in the chest, a sense of restless boredom and a sudden need to sit up and scream loudly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Whoa, everything all right up there?" Buddy's voice spilled out over the intercom, and Rikku shut her mouth and blinked.

"Oops, I really did that?" she giggled nervously to herself. Then she scowled in the direction of the huge hatch of the airship, waving a vaguely rude gesture towards the speakers. "I'm fine, fine!" she hollered. "I thought I told you that I wanted to be left alone!"

"Hey, don't chew my head off," Buddy answered almost immediately. "Brother's the one who wanted to check up on you. Blame him!"

"Uuuh," Rikku replied, dropping her head into her knees with a low groan. "Why can't he keep his nose in his own business?" she muttered loudly.

The response was almost inevitable: "RIKKU! I HEARD THAT!" Another loud crackle erupted from the speakers, probably Buddy managing to wrest the intercom out of Brother's angry grasp.

"We're just worried about you. So are you gonna come in anytime soon?"

"Alright, I'm coming already, don't get so excited!" Rikku shouted, springing to her feet. She gave her tiny skirt a few cursory pats and turned towards the hatch. The Celsius was flying low today and not particularly quickly, but even so the rush of the wind was incredible, whipping her messy blond hair into her face. "Oww," Rikku hissed, pushing away some of the braids and beads that slapped at her cheeks. "Maybe it's time to cut the mop again!" She stomped towards the door, the wind stinging her face. It didn't help improve her sullen mood. The hatch slid open smoothly and the ever-comforting rhythm of machina at work greeted her, and soon she was riding the large steel platform back down into the heart of the airship.

The Celsius was Brother's pride and joy; custom rigged and lovingly cared for by both himself and Rikku, it was quite possibly the most advanced airship in all of Spira and definitely the best looking in Rikku's personal opinion. After their first Home had been destroyed, it had become the closest replacement they had found for the original. If she was honest with herself, Rikku loved the airship just as much as her brother did; just being inside of it usually comforted her. Not on this particular day, however; the normally-pleasant whirr of machinery was grating on her nerves and made her feel jumpier than usual.

"Where is it, anyway?" she grumbled to herself, crossing her arms and pacing impatiently across the platform as the elevator was lowered. "Where's my happy ending?" She closed her eyes and blew out a loud breath. The jolt of the platform coming to a stop shook her out of her contemplation, and Rikku scowled into the empty corridor. "Happy endings don't just happen, Rikku!" she scolded herself out loud. "You have to make them, right?" _And if I'm not finding them here, then maybe…_

Like with most of her ideas, Rikku grabbed onto the nascent thought and ran with it before it was fully formed. "Besaid?" she mused out loud. "Naw, Yunie and Tidus probably don't want me hanging around and bugging them again so soon." She strode into the elevator quickly and slammed the button for the cabins, mumbling to herself the entire way. "Bevelle? Nu-uh, no way! I still hate that place! I don't see how Paine can stand it there!" She barely gave a wave to the barkeep as she skipped up the steps and over towards her bed. "Maybe Mount Gagazet. I haven't seen Kimahri in a while…" She checked her thought and looked down at her skimpy clothing, wrinkling her nose. "Then again, it's always snowing there. Brrr, I'm getting cold just thinking about it!"

Sitting heavily on the bed, Rikku rummaged through the mess in her drawer, humming absently to herself as she quickly picked out a small selection of spheres and shuffled a few garment grids through her hands. Before they had parted ways, the three girls had split the collection of small, stone-like tablets between themselves as mementos of their adventures together. Though she hardly needed them for anything other than basic self-defence against the usual run-of-the-mill fiends on the more perilous excursions, Rikku found herself wearing them often out of habit, almost like jewellery. She had even begun to tool up fanciful belts to match the patterns inscribed on the varying tablets. Quickly sorting through her haphazard collection of spheres and grids, she finally settled on one and began to ornament it with the spheres she had chosen. "Always gotta remember to accessorize," she announced proudly when she was finished, snapping the belt into place. As soon as she did, she closed her eyes and sucked in her breath sharply at the tingle of electricity that raced up her spine; equipping the magic-imbued grids was always a little bit uncomfortable at first. Lulu had tried her best to school Rikku in the ways of black magic during Yuna's pilgrimage, but apart from the most basic of the elemental spells, the complexity of higher magic had always eluded Rikku's grasp. Wearing the Conflagration grid was like slipping a pair of magnifying glasses over her magical nerves, bringing her limited capability into painfully sharp focus and augmenting it with a burst of artificial power. After a few seconds, her fingers stopped tingling and she opened her eyes.

"Whew, what a rush!" Rikku yelled, forgoing the stairs in favour of leaping down from the balcony. Barkeep eyed her suspiciously from behind the counter; at least, as suspiciously as any hypello could manage to appear.

"Mish Rikku, are yoo planning another trip?" he asked placidly, slapping his long fingers together.

Rikku flashed the little hypello a wide grin. "Yep! There's something I gotta do, and I've been putting it off for long enough. But don't worry, I'll be back lickity-split! I bet you guys won't even notice that I'm gone!"

Barkeep nodded and blinked at her; she knew that it was his own hypello-version of a smile. "Maybe yoo should tell the others," he added diplomatically as an afterthought.

"Of course I will!" Rikku yelled. "Somebody has to fly me there after all!"

"Fly you where?" Buddy walked in and crossed his arms. "Brother sent me to find you, he wanted you up on the bridge five minutes ago."

Rikku only rolled her eyes and huffed, stomping out the door. She heard Buddy's footsteps echoing behind her and slouched against the wall of the elevator, waiting for him to follow.

"So… are you gonna tell me about this new plan of yours, or you just planning to break it to Brother once we're up there?" Buddy sounded vaguely amused, but there was a hint of concern underneath the question. He held off from hitting the panel that would bring them towards the bridge as he waited for her answer.

"Weeell …" Rikku began, fidgeting. She hadn't planned much of anything yet, in reality; she was still silently debating where she wanted to go to begin her journey. All she knew was that wherever her happy ending was hiding, it wasn't going to be found on the Celsius in the company of her friends. "I just feel like I need to go off on my own for a while," she finally admitted. "You know, spread my own wings, that sorta thing!"

"Huh," Buddy replied, scratching the back of his head and sounding unconvinced. "You always do your own thing whether we're around or not anyway," he informed her. Seeing her fidget nervously and remain silent, he shrugged in defeat and smiled at her. "Alright, you don't have to spill if you don't want to. Just tell me this. Are we gonna regret letting you do whatever it is you're planning?"

"No!" Rikku replied, falling into a sulk instantly. "Why do you guys always assume the worst about my plans, anyway?"

Buddy laughed, shaking his head. "Because you're Crazy Cid's kid. Because you're related to Brother. Because you know I'm right. I can list specifics if you want. Oh, like that time you wanted to try introducing Chocobo Racing into Bevelle to 'loosen them up' …" he began, holding out a hand and ticking off a finger. Rikku scowled. "Or how about when you took us snowboarding at Lake Macalania?"

"Listen! That was a perfectly fine idea until those fiends showed up! How was I supposed to know the ice was so thin?"

Buddy only shook his head again and shrugged. "See what I mean?"

Rikku rolled her eyes and slammed the button for the bridge with an impatient huff. "I'm NOT going to get you into trouble this time, I swear! I just …" she looked down and rolled on the balls of her feet uncomfortably. "I just need some time for myself, you know? There's some stuff I gotta find, and I don't think you guys can help me with it this time."

"Hmm," Buddy said, regarding her thoughtfully. "We've all noticed you've been kind of ornery the past few weeks…"

"ORNERY?" Rikku yelled shrilly, balling her hands into fists. "What's that supposed to mean, huh?"

"… tense, I mean tense," Buddy corrected immediately. "Maybe you're right, though. I guess we could all use a little vacation every now and then." The elevator pulled to a stop, and as the doors opened they could hear the loud cries of Brother leaking through the heavy metal bulkhead of the cockpit as he argued with Shinra. "… maybe this isn't the best place to do some thinking anyhow." The walked out into the corridor, but he paused once again before they entered the bridge. "But you know, Rikku … we'll always be here for you if you need us. You're a Gullwing, after all. That means you're family."

Rikku blinked unexpectedly; Buddy was far more observant than he usually let on. She could see he was concerned for her, and felt a vague stab of guilt that she was planning on leaving them so unexpectedly for an uncertain purpose and with no real goals other than to _'find herself.'_ "Family," she repeated faintly, giving him a thankful smile. "Don't worry so much, I'll be back as soon as I've figured out what it is that I'm looking for."

Buddy gave her a short nod. "We trust you," he said simply, and then opened the hatch.

"RIKKU!" Brother's head shot up immediately as she stepped onto the bridge. "There you are! What took you so long? We have sphere waves coming in from –"

"Well they're gonna have to wait!" Rikku said immediately, holding up a hand and silencing her sputtering brother. "There's somewhere I need to go before I can do any more sphere hunting for the Gullwings!"

"WHAT?" Brother yelled, throwing his hands up into the air.

Buddy only shook his head tiredly, giving Rikku a cursory pat on the shoulder before taking his post at the helm. "I think Rikku wants a little vacation," he said cautiously.

"We just came back from that vacation in Besaid two weeks ago," Shinra piped up, looking over his shoulder at the others. "Why do we need another?"

"EXCELLENT QUESTION!" Brother yelled, circling his hands even more wildly above his head. "Though… if you mean to say you want to go back to Besaid to visit Yuna …" he began thoughtfully.

"Hey!" Rikku yelled, jumping up and down angrily. "I need a vacation! Not you guys! Me! Me only! And I'm not going to Besaid!" she added, causing Brother's face to fall.

_"Me me me,"_ he mimicked, sneering at Rikku. "That is all you ever think about. What about our treasure hunt? What about the Celsius? What about Yuna?" he added, the last question coming out a bit mournfully.

"Ugh, this is why I don't talk to you," Rikku replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm going on a vacation by myself, and that's final! You guys will just have to learn to live without me. Terrible, I know!" she added with a grin.

"Hah!" Brother replied, glaring at his sister. "This is just another one of your last minute ideas to get out of sphere hunting, isn't it? I bet you do not even know where you want to go!" He crossed his arms and waited with a knowing smirk.

"Hey! That is so not true!" Rikku yelled angrily, stomping over to the control panel. She pulled up the spinning hologram of the world map and stared at it blankly for a few moments, feeling Brother's eyes boring into her. _Think, Rikku, think!_ Squinting, she trailed a finger over the continent trying to pick a destination, when inspiration suddenly struck her. "For your information, I'm going to Guadosalam!" she informed them triumphantly.

Silence fell as everyone spun around to stare at her then.

"Why?" Shinra finally asked.

_Yeah, why?_ Rikku repeated to herself nervously, feeling their eyes on her. Guadosalam had nothing but bad memories for the Al Bhed; from boasting the location of the Farplane, to being the former home of the people who had destroyed their own, to the simple fact that the LeBlanc Syndicate still practically owned the town. "I just do. Don't ask, okay?" she answered with a snap, feeling defensive.

"You really mean to do this, Rikku?" Brother asked, narrowing his eyes at her. He was annoying, and loud, and he had a tendency to overreact to the slightest provocation, but in the end he was still her brother. Rikku smiled and gave him a small nod, and his expression softened minutely. Then he drew his face into a hard scowl. "Fine. But you will owe me big for this, you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Rikku replied, sticking her tongue out at his back. "Thanks," she muttered under her breath, but he gave no indication of having heard her.

**.x.x.x.**

"What am I doing here?" Rikku mumbled, staring at the swirling pool of light that marked the entrance to the Farplane. She thought her adventures with Yuna would have cured her of her reluctance to enter the Farplane, but now those days seemed like a lifetime ago, and all of the old fears were quickly resurfacing.

The Al Bhed didn't fear the Farplane; they did scorn it, however, or at least scorn those who considered it to be a gateway to communicate with the dead. _"Everything has a simple explanation, and if it can't be explained, it just hasn't been studied enough yet."_ That motto definitely applied towards pyreflies and the visions they formed when one entered the Farplane. It was the explanation Rikku liked to rely on when trying to explain why she didn't enjoy visiting it. It wasn't the truth, however, at least not _her_ truth.

Truth, for Rikku, was that she was scared of the things she thought she might see on the Farplane. She wanted to keep her memories of the people she had lost frozen inside of her head, trapped in happier times; letting the pyreflies project those thoughts for all the world to see felt not only like a violation of her privacy, but also a release; that somehow, they would steal her happy memories away and leave her alone with only the sadness.

She paced outside of the gate of light nervously; the last visitors had long since exited, and considering the late hour it was unlikely that any more were going to come through that night. Not that anyone could ever tell what time of day it actually was in Guadosalam; the underground community was perpetually lit with a sleepy evening atmosphere, while the Farplane was bathed in an eternal sunset.

"Ohh, stop stalling and just do it!" she told herself, grabbing her head and whipping her braids around. Then, biting her lip, she screwed her eyes shut and threw herself through the barrier. A brief, misty sensation of coldness passed over her skin, as though Shiva had blown her a gentle kiss. It faded, though the cool air did not, and cautiously Rikku opened one eye.

"This is it," she breathed softly, climbing the stone steps and taking in the endless sky and swirling clouds that surrounded the platform. The Farplane was as breathtaking as she remembered it; beautiful and cold and so very, very empty. The quiet song of the pyreflies filled the air, and Rikku shivered convulsively. "Creepy!" she yelled loudly, mostly in an attempt to instil herself with courage and chase away the gentle sighs of the pyreflies. "This isn't as bad as thunder," she told herself, grinding her fingers into her palm and stepping forward stiffly. "Time to face some old fears," she said resolutely, approaching the edge of the stony plateau and looking into the mists below. Colour and light filled the air, along with the dull roar of falling water. There was something achingly beautiful about the Farplane, and yet sad … for all the colour and light and beauty there, it was still barren and empty. "What good are flowers if nobody sees them bloom?" Rikku asked herself softly, settling along the edge of the rock and letting her feet dangle over the drop. A few pyreflies gathered around the tips of her boots, and Rikku watched them swirl there with detached fascination. _Hard to believe fiends are made out of these little guys,_ she thought to herself. _Not only fiends,_ she remembered. The pyreflies twirled away from her boots and swirled in front of her, and Rikku swallowed thickly.

"Mom," she said softly, looking at the figure that slowly faded into view. Tears stung at her eyes unexpectedly; it was her mother, floating before her in much sharper clarity than her fuzzy memory could recall. "A-are you really here?" she whispered, reaching a hand out towards the image. But the image simply smiled at her, floating there, strangely alive and yet never changing, never acknowledging her presence with anything more than a soft smile. Rikku let her hand drop. "Just a memory after all, huh?" she whispered, wiping at her eyes angrily. "We're right, aren't we, mom? This isn't a gateway to the past, it's just one big fat sphere for broadcasting your own memories." She felt foolish for her brief moment of wild belief, that it might against all odds actually be her real mother standing there before her. When she looked up, the image was already fading from view.

"Just memories of the dead," she repeated. The pyreflies swirled and twisted again, and Rikku smiled at the man floating before her. "Hey, Keyakku," she said, blinking back another wave of tears. "Long time no see. Pop and Brother miss you, ya know. Not like they'd ever say it." He only looked back at her, an almost-smile playing across his face, the same one she had seen on her mother. "Me too, I guess," she added softly. She was glad that he wasn't wearing his goggles this time; she had almost forgotten the green of his eyes. "You always were the responsible one. So be sure and look after mom for us till we get there, will you?" she whispered, giving him a little wave. The pyreflies swirled around him and he disappeared.

"It's not so bad," Rikku reasoned to herself with a small sigh. "I guess… it is sort of nice to be able to say goodbye." She smiled hesitantly to herself. "I wonder if it really is like a sphere projector …" Closing her eyes, she thought hard. Then she cracked them open and let out a small squeal of delight. The pyreflies had reformed, and she smiled at the figure before her. "Hey, Jecht! I hope Tidus doesn't mind me seeing you here," she said as she waved. Not surprisingly, he didn't reply. "I guess I don't know you all that well, but I was just a little curious to see if I could get you here since we never really met in person. Uh, well, unless you count the time that we helped kill you with Tidus … but you weren't really yourself then so that doesn't count!" she finished with an embarrassed rush. She knew he wasn't really there, but it still felt awkward to be saying it out loud. "Sorry about that anyway," she added with a tiny wince. _I don't know why I'm feeling so guilty about this. He wanted to die, after all, he practically asked Tidus to kill him! Besides, if you wanna get technically technical about it, you could say Yunalesca killed him …_

The pyreflies reformed, and Rikku froze in terror. "HOLY MACHINA!" she screamed, nearly losing her balance on the stone. Yunalesca only smiled back in response, her long hair swaying in the non-existent breeze. After a few seconds, Rikku's heart fell out of her throat and she regarded the bikini-clad woman cautiously. "Geez, you're just as creepy dead as you were alive! Or, uh, undead, or whatever you were. Why don't you just … shoo! Go away!" It wasn't working; the more Rikku tried to NOT think about Yunalesca, the more solid her image seemed to become.

"Ahh! I have to stop thinking about dead people!" Rikku shouted, grabbing her head and shaking it wildly. "Think of the living Rikku! How about … uhh … Gippal! Yeah, think of Gippal!" She focused on his cocky grin and his wry smile, and sure enough, the pyreflies slowly dissipated. Unfortunately for Rikku, she now had one highly annoying and still living Al Bhed on her mind. _Why does he have to be so cute?_ she thought to herself in annoyance. There was a time when Rikku had a crush on him; she still found herself getting flustered in his presence much too easily, a fact that he obviously delighted exploiting. "I can't believe I still have a crush on that dork Gippal. I mean, he flirted with Yunie the first time he met her! He flirts with everything that moves!" She crossed her arms over her chest and slumped over. "I don't like people who flirt! Well, okay, so I do, but I don't like GUYS who flirt! They never take anything seriously!"

Rikku suddenly straightened up as the words left her mouth. "That's it!" she mumbled, staring blankly ahead of her. "That's my niche. I'm looking for someone who'll take me seriously." She furrowed her brows, trying to recall the last time that had happened. "Sheesh … when have I not been the resident comic relief for everyone?" she wondered. Then she doubled over and snickered loudly. "When we were on pilgrimage with Yuna, that's when. Tidus was clueless enough to take the load off of my shoulders sometimes! Hee hee … I kinda miss those days." She refocused on the swirling pyreflies as she spoke, and the smile slowly slid off of her face. "Oh, it's you," she said finally.

Auron looked back at her impassively; she noted with a faint sense of amusement that even his pyrefly image didn't have the same half-smile as the others. _That's Sir Auron for you. Scowling even in the afterlife,_ Rikku thought to herself with a grin. It quickly faded as she studied his face; familiar tufts of grey at his temples, the jagged scar running across one eye and the high collar of his cloak obscuring his expressive lips. She almost wished that it wasn't there so she could see his face in its entirety; the pyreflies, however, formed images out of memory, and she couldn't recall a time when he had ever let his guard down enough to show her his entire face.

"This isn't fair," she told him, pulling her knees up under her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs. "Yunie got Tidus, and Paine got Nooj. Well, I guess that means she got LeBlanc, too, so there's some kind of justice in that, huh? But she also got Baralai and Gippal. And what do I have? Brother, and Buddy and Shinra. I guess they're not bad, but … I'm beginning to think I don't have a knight in shining armour waiting for me anywhere, you know?" Rikku rolled her eyes upwards, not that this Auron could actually see the gesture and appreciate it. "That's a real confidence booster."

Auron said nothing; in that sense, the image was very much in keeping with the man she remembered.

"Ugh, I feel stupid, talking to myself like this," she told him conversationally. "It's easier to say it now that you're sorta here, though. That's what I really came for, I guess. To deal with my … issues." She laughed lightly, trying to avoid the inevitable. That, of course, only made his image sharpen and solidify even more.

Contrary to popular belief, Rikku wasn't stupid. There was a reason there were no knights in shining armour waiting for her, and she knew perfectly well why as she looked at it. It was the same reason Paine teased her for stubbornly using her samurai dressphere despite the fact that she had no upper arm strength worth speaking of; the one that she was fairly certain Yuna knew of by the red cloth that cloaked her every time she activated it. Yuna had spent her time carrying Tidus' sword, and Rikku … she had chosen to carry Auron's. "No one even comes close," she told him with a wry smile. "I guess it is kind of hard to compete with a dead legend." Her face fell, and she wished more than ever that she could reach out and touch him, that he would be real.

"Why'd you have to be the first one to really see me? To see I wasn't just some idiot girl and take me seriously? Why'd it have to be someone like you?" she asked him. "And why'd you have to die before I could even tell you how I felt?"

The image was silent, unchanging except for the phantom breeze that ruffled his hair. This Auron had no answers for her; she could easily hear what he would say, had he still been there.

_There never was a chance. I was already dead, long before you came. _

"But you were still real," she protested helplessly. "Now you're just a memory, like mom and Keyakku, too dead to love me back but still alive enough to make me miserable." She sighed bitterly and dropped her forehead into her knees, blocking his image from her sight. "Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, they say," she choked out. "Not like I'd know, huh, Auron? Seeing as how I'm landing face-first into that never loved at all crowd."

Rikku kept her head planted firmly in her knees and thought about crying, but the tears wouldn't come. Five years was a long time to spend weeping over unrequited love, and Rikku wasn't the moping type. Instead, she was filled with a bitter sense of injustice. She wanted to spring to her feet and scream that it wasn't fair, that she deserved another chance, or at least the opportunity to have caught her heart and brought it back safely before Auron could carry it away, dissolving it with his measured steps and his pyreflies and his refusal to look back _just one last time, please!_

When she felt certain that she was finished with _not crying,_ Rikku lifted her head and looked up warily. He was still there, unmoving, unchanging, though at least the image had fuzzed slightly. She could see the bright specks of light shining through his heavy read coat, lazily twisting through his chest, sometimes brighter, sometimes almost completely obscured by his figure. "I guess I have to leave you first this time," she told him apologetically.

Tucking her feet in, Rikku pushed off the ground and rolled into a standing position. Afterwards, in the brief moment between her rational realization of gravity's consequences and raw panic, she had time to analyze what caused her to trip. It might have been because she was sitting in the same position for so long that her legs fell asleep. Or it might have been the sudden, unexpected gust of wind that swept across the still plateau as she rose. The way she had situated herself directly on the edge of the rock certainly didn't help at all. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fleeting feeling of being pushed, ever so gently. Whatever the reasons, she was falling in a bundle of flailing limbs and flying hair, watching the plateau grow smaller with each passing second.

Rikku had always imagined she would have something witty to say just before she died. "Banzai!" perhaps, or "So long, nice knowin' ya!" or maybe even "If I'm going down, you're coming with me!" Instead, all she could do was gasp soundlessly and make a futile grasp for the safety of the stone that disappeared into the mists far too quickly for her liking.

_This is not my happy ending! I don't want to become a fiend! Wait, can you even become a fiend in the Farplane? Maybe I won't need to get sent because I'm already here, so everything will work out just fine. Well, except for the fact that I DON'T WANNA DIE OH GOD OH GOD OHGOD—_

Everything went white. Or perhaps it was always white; the living were cautioned not to spend too much time in the Farplane because things were different there; time and space melded together. The Farplane was the realm of the spirit, and did not follow the rules of logic and flesh; those who tried to spend too long there would go stark raving mad, or so they claimed. Though she couldn't remember having had the time to fall asleep, when Rikku woke she realized that she was no longer falling. She wasn't standing on solid ground either, however; she was floating weightlessly, surrounded by cool white mists.

"Am I dead?" she asked herself breathlessly. _Is this what it's like to have died? I don't feel any different._ Experimentally, she held her hand in front of her face and squinted at it. It looked solid. Impulsively, she brought her fingers to her lips and bit down hard.

"OWW!" she yelled, drawing her hand away and shaking it out rapidly. Small flecks of blood were welling underneath the bite marks, and it stung painfully. "Feels like I'm alive," Rikku muttered cautiously. Raising her hand again, she tried one last time. _Pyrefly-pyrefly-pyrefly!_ she instructed her fingers sternly. They remained solid no matter how much she tried to convince them to scatter. After a few more attempts punctuated by grunts, Rikku gave up and decided to assume that she was probably not dead.

"Where am I?" she asked, twisting around and trying to make out anything in the thick mist.

"You're in the Farplane," a voice answered, and Rikku yelped and spun around to face it.

"You… don't I know you from somewhere?" Rikku said uncertainly, eyeing the strange boy who was floating before her. His eyes were hidden by the heavy purple hood that was pulled low over his head. A slight smile twisted at his lips and he nodded at her.

"Yes," he told her. "We've met." He turned his back to her and Rikku's eyes were drawn to the elaborate wheel pattern embroidered on the back of the boy's shirt.

"You're a fayth!" Rikku blurted out suddenly, covering her mouth with her hands. "You're—"

"What do you want?" Bahamut turned and regarded her silently.

Rikku balked and gaped at the phantom child. "I dunno, like, maybe not to die?" she yelled in frustration.

"All living things die. That is how it should be. Anything else would be cruel," Bahamut told her reasonably. "What do you want?" he asked her again.

_I must be hallucinating,_ Rikku thought to herself hazily. _Maybe I landed in that huge field of flowers on the bottom and hit my head or something._ She rubbed her fingers together and winced at the sting of her bite wound. "I think I want to wake up," she said out loud.

The boy sighed softly and shook his head at her. "If you don't want to dream, then why did you come here?" he asked.

_Dream?_ Rikku thought, confused. "I don't know why I came here in the first place," she said defensively. _Liar,_ she admonished herself guiltily.

"Liar," Bahamut echoed. "You're just afraid of your dream."

"Well he's kind of a scary guy, don't you think!" Rikku blurted out, exasperated. "Even if he is… dead," she added more quietly, feeling her heart constrict in her chest.

"What do you want?" Bahamut asked her again patiently.

Rikku closed her eyes and let herself float in the mists. "I want…" She took a deep breath and tried to chase away all the worries and distractions that were clamouring for attention in her head. _Keep it simple,_ she told herself sternly. _Why did I come here?_

"I want my own story."

"Hmm," she heard Bahamut say; it sounded like he was laughing with the light, carefree melody of a child. Yet underneath she heard a low rumble, a growl from the mouth of a dragon. And suddenly his voice seemed too old despite its youthful tone. "I can only open the door. You will still have to find your story by yourself."

Rikku craned her neck towards the voice, but her eyelids were too heavy to open; she was still floating, but her body felt like lead. "Why are you helping me?" she struggled to ask. "I'm not Yuna. I'm not even Paine! I'm just Rikku."

"Rikku is Rikku. That should be enough," she heard him say.

_Or wasn't it Kimahri who had told me that? On Yuna's Pilgrimage …_ Rikku made the effort to pull her lips into a slight frown. "I … don't want … another … adventure …" she murmured, fighting to stay awake against the oppressive heaviness.

"What do you always say Rikku?" she heard Keyakku tell her teasingly as he handed her a wrench. "Three's a charm."

"Not … again … !"

Yuna was peering at her anxiously, worried by what she had seen after Rikku first activated the dressphere. "Do you really love him?" she asked her cousin softly.

"Who?" Rikku whispered, barely conscious.

"You know who," he answered, and she snapped to attention, struggling to stay awake.

"Auron?" Rikku asked, but her eyes wouldn't open.

"Did you mean what you said, about loving and losing?"

She could almost feel his breath on her face; _breath?_ Had he even breathed when he was not-alive? "Auron … don't go," she cried. "Don't leave again, at least not without looking back." She let out a small whine of dismay as she felt his presence fading away.

"You'll have to choose what you love more in the end … Are you sure?"

"Choose? I just want to see you again," she mumbled. "See you really, not just my own memories. Even just … to say … g'bye." Her words slowed and slurred together as she lost control of her tongue.

"Remember your words," Rikku heard Bahamut say faintly. And then she felt as though she was being pulled apart, lifted, and she could feel her bones separating, and she didn't think bones could feel and it hurt so very much and it tickled all over and even if she knew she wasn't dead she sure as hell couldn't be alive to feel this and then—

"Jump."

Suddenly Rikku knew she was falling again, falling through the Farplane like before, the mist rushing past her ears and whistling through her hair, and that this time nothing would stop her. She was going to land in a field of flowers and die a messy, splatty, ugly death without ever having said anything cool before going, and nobody would even take the time to send her because she was already in the home of the dead.

"Jump! Now!"

A tickling in her head, a reminder … Bahamut's childish voice intruded on her thoughts again; he sounded almost urgent.

_How can I jump? I'm already falling!_ Rikku mused wildly, flailing her arms out.

"You must not fear your dreams. Jump."

_But …_

"Things are different in the Farplane."

_That was me,_ Rikku thought with a start. _That was what I told myself earlier! Time is different here. Space is different here._ She turned herself into the wind and spread her arms.

_And hope… that's also different here._

Rikku jumped.


	2. Bevelle, All Over Again

**- 2: Bevelle, All Over Again - **

Singing. Voices were singing to her, Rikku realized groggily. She blinked once, twice, then tried to shut her eyes and fall back asleep. Beautiful voices, men, women and children, all harmonized perfectly into an achingly familiar chorus, forcing her to stay awake. "Why?" she mumbled, feeling her insides curl. She knew the words to the song, just as any Spiran would.

_Dream, fayth. Forever and ever, grant us prosperity. _

"No," Rikku murmured, opening her eyes again. The light of the pyreflies dazzled her, spinning lazily in and out of her vision before slowly drifting away into the dark sky. "No, this is a nightmare," she told herself firmly as the never-ending melody began anew. The hymn of the fayth was a heart-rending song, beautiful and terrible at the same time. To hear the song was to hear the fayth. But where there was fayth, there was also Sin. Rikku shut her eyes again and tried to ignore the black sky and the feel of the cool concrete beneath her cheek. "Let this be a dream, just a dream," Rikku said again, clenching her hands into tight fists. Her fingertip stung sharply, and Rikku's eyes flew open. The wound from her bite was still there, slightly crusted over now and throbbing dully where she had worried the scab. And the hymn still floated above her, sung as it only could be by the fayth.

"This can't be happening…" Rikku mumbled as she sat up and rubbed her head. She took in her surroundings slowly. It was night and she was fairly certain she was outdoors; however, the tall, dark buildings rising all around her obscured her vision of the sky. Cradling her pounding head, Rikku carefully scrambled to her feet and leaned on the wall. She let out a sigh of relief as a quick check revealed that she was still all in one piece despite the fact that she had no idea where she was or how she had arrived there.

Cautiously, she pressed her back against the building and crept down the alleyway; she could see the dim, artificial light of the street beyond and the shadowy forms of figures as they moved about the road. The hymn of the fayth was unusually loud, but no one seemed to notice or pay it any mind. Reaching the end of the alley, Rikku steeled herself and leaned out, looking up into the city.

Ornate, brightly-coloured buildings rose high into the sky; banners flapped from the roofs of several of the structures. The street was bustling with activity; people mingled together in large crowds as they went about their business, forming a brightly-coloured morass of humanity. It was a sight Rikku recognized immediately, and she pulled back into the alley quickly with a quiet gasp.

"What the heck …" she whispered furiously, her hands automatically reaching for her daggers and pulling them out. "This is Bevelle!"

Only it wasn't Bevelle; not the Bevelle Rikku was familiar with, the one that Paine called her new stomping grounds and the seat of the Spiran government coalition. This was the Bevelle of the past - the manipulative, fearsome religious power that gave the Al Bhed nightmares. The flags and banners that flapped in the wind prominently displayed the symbol of Yevon and heavily-armed guards patrolled the streets with stern expressions. Priests and warrior monks could be seen wearing their old uniforms, bowing and saluting to each other as they went their separate ways.

"I'm in hell!" Rikku squeaked, taking a quick look at herself. She slid deeper into the safety of the alley reflexively, her numb fingers methodically feeling around her pockets for any sort of defence she could muster. And she would need it; with her outlandish mode of dress and long yellow hair, Rikku knew her appearance screamed poster girl for the entire Al Bhed race. "This must be that aeon's idea of a sick, sick joke," she moaned to herself as she sprinted down the alley towards the opposite end of the street, trying to orient herself. "I knew I should've taken Paine up on that offer to tour through Bevelle before," Rikku mumbled to herself between grit teeth as she peeked out of the other end of the alley. Then her step faltered and she stopped, her mouth dropping open.

The hymn of the faith swelled to an unbearable level, and Rikku covered her ears and felt the colour drain from her face. "That isn't right …" she mumbled in shock. There was a huge crowd gathered on the street; the people were watching a strange religious ceremony taking place in front of the ornate palace of Bevelle. That wasn't what had stopped Rikku cold; it was the participants that had shocked her.

"From henceforth," the quavering voice cried out, rising over the murmurs of the people gathered there, "… we shall accept the Ronso into Yevon's fold as one of our own, for we are all brothers and sisters of Spira. Go now with the blessing of Bevelle and spread the word unto your people. The mercy of Yevon shall be known to all who open their hearts to the teachings!"

The massive, blue-furred creature straightened and turned, and Rikku felt her insides turn to lead. "Maester Kelk …" she gasped. Only he wasn't dressed as a Maester, and he did not yet wear the long white beard that set him apart from his brethren. Most importantly, however, Kelk was very obviously not dead. Though Rikku couldn't be sure that the same was true of Maester Mika, who stood at the Ronso's side, dwarfed by his huge companion. She even spotted someone who looked very much like Kinoc hovering behind them, though he was sporting much more hair and much less paunch than she remembered. Kinoc stepped forward and raised his arms towards the people, a broad smile on his face.

"Praise be to Yevon!" she heard him yell, and the crowd erupted into wild cheers.

_No. No, no no NO!_ Rikku thought wildly, grabbing her head and shaking it. "This isn't right! It's not Spira! It's not _my_ Spira!" She didn't even realize she was shouting as she doubled over and tried to force herself to wake out of her nightmare. "Yevon is dead! Sin is dead! We paid for it already! We paid with blood and lives and hearts and fayth and this is all a lie!" A small crowd was beginning to form around her, and gasps went up as they recognized her race. Rikku ignored them, stumbling towards the palace that she knew housed the aeon within its depths. "Take me back home!" she yelled at it, as though Bahamut would be able to hear her through the thick stone walls. "I knew you guys were cruel, but how could you do this to me? How could you let Yunie's sacrifice go? How could you bring me back here? It's all wrong here and HOW COULD YOU!" Her last scream was muffled as the first guard tackled her, and Rikku automatically ducked and shrugged him off, sending him flying with an elbow to the chin. She turned and sprinted for the palace, bowling through the surprised guards; the only thing she knew was that she had to get to the chamber of the fayth, to see the strange dragon-child and demand to be returned to her own reality.

"She's going for Mika!" someone shouted and the crowd screamed and parted. She heard the click of a gun and reached into her pouch, throwing a flash bomb behind her. It exploded at the same time as the retort of the rifle, and people began to run in every direction, panicking. Rikku ignored them all, intent on breaking through into the palace; she stumbled and slowed down but refused to stop as another rifle cracked sharply and pain exploded in her shoulder.

"Damn! Alright, use some dream powder!" she heard another guard yell. A smoking canister landed at her feet and without pause Rikku picked it up and chucked it back in the direction that it had been thrown from. More cursing erupted behind her, and Rikku covered her mouth and held her breath, charging past the few remaining guards. _Almost there,_ she thought wildly, lunging onto the dais and sweeping towards a very surprised Mika. Her sprint came to a painful halt as Kelk finally flung himself into her path, planting a meaty blue fist into her stomach. And then for the second time that day, the world exploded into white, and Rikku passed out.

**.x.x.x.**

"Ugh … I think I liked waking up better the first time," Rikku mumbled, wincing painfully. Her entire body ached, and her shoulder was killing her. _What the heck did I do? It feels like a chocobo's been having a dance party on my stomach! Did I try arm wrestling with Paine again or something?_

"Hey, you're finally up," a gruff voice greeted her.

"No I'm not," Rikku replied immediately, keeping her eyes shut and trying to pinpoint why it felt like her shoulder was on fire. _Better heal that first,_ she thought groggily, reaching for her pouch. Her hand closed over her hip onto empty air, and her eyes shot open. "My stuff! It's gone!" she yelled, trying to sit up and flopping back down instantly as her body protested violently to the motion. She felt around her waist and noticed with a growing sense of apprehension that her entire belt was missing, including her garment grid. "Oh no!" she groaned.

"Of course your stuff's gone! You don't think they let you keep your gear in prison, do you?"

Rikku forced her eyes open and glared at the source of the voice. "Shut up!" she yelled. Then her eyes widened and memory returned like a sledge hammer striking her forehead. There was no doubt about it; from the messy brown hair to the twisting tattoo across his chest, it was definitely Jecht who was leaning against the wall in the cell across from her own, giving her an amused smirk. "Juh-juh-juh…" she gawked, staring at him.

Jecht smiled and puffed up slightly, thumbing his chest. "Like what you see, huh?" he said smugly.

"Jecht! You're Sir Jecht!" Rikku finally managed to gasp out, pain momentarily forgotten as she regarded him with wide eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Jecht crossed his arms and looked puzzled. "Now, that's the first time I got a proper reaction ever since I arrived in this crazy town. Figures it would come from a loony," he grumbled to himself.

"Who're you calling a loony?" Rikku shot back immediately, her shock disappearing momentarily under her ruffled indignation.

"That's what the guards called you. Some kind of loony from Al's bed. If this is where sleepin' with Al lands ya, you should probably dump the guy!" He took a moment to laugh loudly at his own joke while Rikku could only stare, and then gave her another broad smile. "So you've heard of me, huh? You a blitzball fan then?"

"No I'm not!" Rikku snapped at him, annoyed by his overbearing self-confidence. "Are you really Sir Jecht?" she repeated, sitting up slowly and dragging herself towards the bars to get a better look at him.

Jecht frowned and scratched the back of his head; for a moment he looked so much like Tidus that Rikku thought she would burst out laughing. Then she remembered that he thought she was crazy already and bit down on the impulse.

"I don't know why the hell you keep calling me that 'sir' junk, but yeah. Jecht's my name, blitzball's my game." He gave her another practiced smile and posed, and Rikku resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Wow… Tidus wasn't joking about his ego," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Jecht asked, lowering his eyebrows together curiously.

"A-a-ah," Rikku fudged, fidgeting with her braids nervously. The movement caused her to hiss in pain and she carefully reached back and touched her shoulder. When she drew her hand away, it was covered with flakes of dried blood. "Ouchie," she said miserably, trying to feel around the wound.

"Hey, girl, you okay?" Jecht asked, looking at her with a little concern. "You were bleedin' pretty bad when they brought you in. I think they gave you some kinda medicine before they dumped ya. What'd you do anyway?"

Rikku scowled and gave up trying to assess the wound in her shoulder. "I was born, that's enough for these Yevonites," she muttered angrily.

"Yevawhats?" Jecht repeated, scratching his head.

"Yevonites," Rikku repeated, shaking her head. Then, feeling slightly guilty, she cleared her throat. "Listen, maybe you should try to keep your mouth shut about being a famous blitzer and stuff around the other people here. Aaaaannd … maybe you shouldn't go around telling people where you're from, too. The Zanarkand they know isn't exactly the same Zanarkand you come from anyway."

"You know I'm from Zanarkand!" Jecht repeated, his eyes lighting up. "God, I thought I was goin' crazy here! So you believe me then?" he asked her eagerly.

_I'm digging a hole, I just know it!_ Rikku thought with a nervous smile. _What to say, what to say …_ "I … uh … I've seen you blitz before. On … spheres. Yeah, that's it, spheres! I've seen spheres of you blitzing! So … um … yeah. I believe you. But no one else does!"

"My games were always prime time material! Whaddaya mean nobody else's seen them?" Jecht yelled angrily.

"They … uh … they broke!" Rikku said, laughing nervously.

"What broke?" Jecht asked, looking even more upset.

"Boy, you really are dense! The spheres of you playing blitzball," Rikku replied, exasperated.

"Well, what the hell are spheres?" Jecht yelled, throwing up his hands in frustration.

Rikku sighed and sat back. "You really are from another world," she murmured thoughtfully. Then, brightening, she snapped her fingers. "Here, I'll show you!" she said, reaching into her hair and feeling underneath her bandana.

"Eh?" Jecht said, watching Rikku as she spilled her braids out of their messy holder and sorted through them. "What the hell are you doing now?"

"Hah, they didn't get 'em all," Rikku yelled, flashing Jecht a victory sign as she unwound a glowing blue orb from one of her braids. She hadn't even remembered hiding away her precious dresspheres while she was running through the alley; sometimes she was grateful that her thieving fingers could work on autopilot even if her mind was miles away.

"Sometimes it's good to have big hair, remember that!" she told Jecht smugly, giving the sphere a cursory examination.

"Huh. Maybe if you like the bird nest look," Jecht replied with a grin, causing Rikku to scowl and stick her tongue out at him.

"Like you're one to talk, Mr. I-Need-Grooming-Badly! For your information, this bird's nest is the reason I can show you what a sphere is at all, so you better be thankful!" Rikku huffed. It was her personal thief dressphere; the one she had recorded of herself filching tools out from under her father's nose. She kept it more as a keepsake than anything else, since she didn't need the augmentation of the sphere to bolster her pick-pocketing abilities; thieving was Rikku's favourite pastime, after all. "This is a sphere. You can use it to record stuff that happens, and play it back later if you want to remember," Rikku explained patiently.

"Huh, kind of like a camera then?" Jecht asked, eyeing the sphere curiously.

"Well, why don't I just show you," Rikku said, her fingers hovering above the sphere to play it. She stopped herself suddenly and bit her lip. _Dad's on this. And if Jecht's here, then maybe Uncle Braska …_

"Hey!" Jecht yelled impatiently, interrupting her. "I thought you were gonna show me this sphere thing!"

"Ahh," Rikku said, laughing a little too loudly as she discretely deleted the recording on the sphere. "Well … umm, I forgot that this one is blank. So there's nothing to show you here yet!" she said nervously.

Jecht only snorted and sat back with a look of disbelief. "Man, you are an airhead. Maybe they were right, you really are crazy," he grunted. "Why use spheres when you could just grab a camera anyway? It's stupid," he grumbled to himself.

Rikku scowled at Jecht and held her sphere up defiantly. "Spheres are cameras, you idiot! I'm not lying, and I'll prove it! I'll make a recording of you right now and we'll see who's the stupid one, huh!" she yelled at him, fumbling with the sphere controls.

Jecht only rolled his eyes and leaned back against the wall, yawning. "Sure, whatever. Crazy bitch," he muttered under his breath.

"Ooh, you!" Rikku sputtered, holding the sphere up and giving him her best death glare as she started recording. Before she could add another reply, however, the sound of the hall door opening caught their attention, and a heavily armoured prison guard stepped in. He strode into the narrow room and stopped in front of her cell, turning sharply and standing at attention.

_Hmm … somebody important must be visiting,_ Rikku thought to herself, craning her neck forward and trying to see who was entering. And then time itself stopped.

He was young, so young it almost hurt to look at him; she hadn't realized how ruthlessly handsome he would be with his dark hair worn long and two whole, burning eyes. Even as a young man he bore the same stern expression, his lips pressed together tightly and his eyebrows lowered in a permanent scowl, as though he was continuously annoyed by his surroundings. The most breathtaking thing of all, however, was that he wasn't hiding his face. For the first time Rikku saw him without the mask of his dark glasses or the high cowl. And he was more beautiful than she had ever dreamed. Unconsciously, her hand reached out through the bars to try and touch him, to see if he was real, but he brushed past her without even acknowledging her presence. He stopped in front of the guard and glowered at him.

"Is this how you show respect to a Summoner and his Guardian?" Auron said curtly, and Rikku almost dropped the sphere.

_It's him, it's really him … I'd know that voice anywhere!_ She gaped soundlessly at Auron, still seated on the floor of her cell, and flushed a deep red as he caught sight of her and met her eyes. Then his gaze flickered to the sphere in her hands and his scowl deepened.

"And what in Yevon's name is that prisoner doing with a –"

Rikku gasped and shook her head wildly at Auron. _Please-please-please don't say anything!_ she panicked, silently pleading with him. If she really was stuck in the past, she had a vague idea of what would happen if the Bevelle guards caught a prisoner with contraband material … particularly an Al Bhed prisoner.

Auron's lips twisted slightly, but he turned his attention back up to the smirking guard and crossed his arms. "You will bow when Lord Braska enters."

"He's not a Summoner yet, sir. Give me one good reason I should do anything for that Al Bhed lover," the guard said with a sneer.

Rikku flinched at the tone of the guard's voice, looking down into her sphere. _Ouch … I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be so hated by everyone else,_ she thought with a lance of pain through her chest. Then she pressed her lips together into a tight line. _Never let them see you squirm!_ she told herself strictly. _Yeah, that's me … cool as a cucumber, Rikku. Be like Auron. Smooth. Cool. You can set this jerk's pants on fire later, right?_

Auron's cold voice cut across her musing; she could have sworn the room temperature dropped several degrees from his tone alone. "Conscious or not, you will bow. Do I make myself clear?" He fingered the hilt of his sword and gave the guard a meaningful look.

The guard paled and swallowed loudly before nodding. "Y-yes, sir …"

"Auron, that's enough." Rikku snapped her head towards the door and almost dropped the sphere a second time. The tall man who stepped into the room behind him was unmistakable. He smiled apologetically, shaking out his long robes. "You'll have to excuse him. Guardians can be quite intimidating at times, can't they?"

"Yes, sir!" the guard replied sharply, drawing his hands together respectfully and giving Braska a low bow. "The prisoner you wanted to see, sir!" he added, clicking his heels and pointing at Jecht.

Braska simply looked over the guard's shoulder and down at Rikku. Startlingly blue eyes regarded her from a gentle face; _he looks just like Yunie!_ Rikku realized with a shock. He lifted his eyebrow thoughtfully as he took in the sphere, and then, to her surprise, gave her a conspiratorial wink. Then Braska turned and faced Jecht, who was watching the entire display with a look of bored amusement.

"You ladies done prancin' around now?" Jecht sneered, propping an arm up on his leg. "Who are you anyway?"

Braska ignored the jibe and stepped closer to Jecht's cell, tilting his head curiously. "You are the one they call Jecht, the man from Zanarkand, are you not?"

Jecht eyed Braska suspiciously, drumming his fingers on his knee. He shot a stealthy glance over towards Rikku, and she realized belatedly that her well-meant advice might actually be backfiring. Grinning nervously, she tried to give Jecht an encouraging nod and froze when she noticed Auron's suspicious glare.

Jecht sighed loudly and shrugged. "What of it?" he said carelessly, smirking at Braska.

Auron was at Braska's side before he could add in another word. "Watch your tongue, knave!" he yelled harshly, but held back when Braska shot the Guardian a warning glance.

"My apologies. I am Braska, a Summoner." He paused, waiting for Jecht's reaction, but the blitzball player only yawned. Auron twitched noticeably. Braska let a small half-smile play across his face and dropped his head in defeat. "Well … perhaps you'd be more interested in knowing that I've come to take you from this place."

That got Jecht's attention; he stood up quickly and approached the bars of the cell, giving Braska a frank appraisal. "Sounds sweet. What's the catch?" he asked, lazily stretching and folding his arms over his head.

Braska only laughed in response, shrugging his shoulders. "That easy to see, was it? I soon leave on a Pilgrimage." Braska paused, expecting a response, and when none was forthcoming, he shook his head and tried again. "... to Zanarkand?"

Jecht's arms dropped at the same time that his eyes lit up with boyish hope, another trait Tidus had unknowingly inherited. "Seriously?" he asked.

Braska nodded at him and smiled. "I would like you to join us. It will be a dangerous trip. Yet, if we do reach Zanarkand ..." He paused and closed his eyes, his shoulders bowing forward slightly. "… my prayers will be answered."

The sphere trembled in Rikku's hands. _How could you pray for that, Uncle Braska? Your hope is a lie!_ But she kept silent.

"Huh?" Jecht mumbled, staring at Braska through the bars of the cell in confusion.

"Oh…" The darkness lifted away from Braska as quickly as it had settled, and he gave Jecht an encouraging smile. "And you will be able to go home, we think. What say you?"

Jecht shrugged, a wide grin slipping over his face. "Great! Let's go!"

Both Auron and Braska did a double take at Jecht's easy acceptance of the task. "So quick?" Braska asked with an air of disbelief. "Even Auron didn't -"

"Don't compare me with that drunken fool," Auron cut in immediately with disgust.

"Hey, I ain't the one with a jug of hooch tied to my hip," Jecht replied with a smirk, unruffled by Auron's fierce glare.

Braska immediately cut in when he saw Auron's jaw clench. "Then it's settled," he said firmly, pushing Auron away from the bars.

"But I must protest!" Auron sputtered, staring at Braska in consternation. "This drunkard, a Guardian?" The disgust in his voice was evident, and Jecht bristled.

"Hey! You want to step in here and say that?" He cracked his neck and pounded one large fist into the other, meeting Auron's glare steadily.

"Hmm," Braska said, a small smile forming over his lips. "There aren't many people who can meet Auron's gaze without flinching," he said to Jecht, surprising the large man. "I think you'll make a fine Guardian." Then he turned to Auron and put a calming hand on his shoulder. "What does it matter anyway, Auron? No one truly believes that I, a fallen Summoner wed to an Al Bhed could possibly defeat Sin. This is what they say. No one expects us to succeed."

"Braska, sir …" Auron protested immediately, but Braska only shook his head and tightened his grip.

"Let's show them they're wrong. A fallen Summoner, a man from Zanarkand ... and a warrior monk, doomed to obscurity for refusing the hand of the priest's daughter. What delightful irony it would be if we defeated Sin!"

Rikku felt her eyes bug out as she stared at Auron. His face was flushed, probably with embarrassment, but also with anger at Braska's frank appraisal of their reputation. That wasn't what fascinated her, though. _Auron had a girlfriend?_ was the only thought that she could process. That was followed by a sharp sting of jealousy. Which was followed by an even sharper sting of disappointment. _But if what Uncle Braska says is true, then he shut her down faster than Gippal could lift a skirt._ And then the disappointment slowly changed into humour, and she barely had time to shut down the sphere and tuck it away in her hair before her giggles broke out audibly. _Geez … he really was born with a stick up his butt! I wonder what he'd say if he could see me now!_ She realized that Auron was looking at her, and he could see her right then, only this Auron didn't know her at all. And that was the funniest thing of all. "D-delightful … irony!" she managed to gasp out, the laughter escaping her in painful, sobbing breaths as she doubled over, feeling the scab on her shoulder stretch and break open once again.

"Silence, you Al Bhed dog!" the guard yelled, turning towards her and kicking the bars of her cage with his heavily booted foot. Rikku only held her stomach and laughed harder.

Jecht peered at them from his cell uncertainly, then rattled the bars of his own cage with a grimace. "Hey! Stop gabbin' and get me outta here! Her type of crazy might be catchin'," he grumbled.

Braska ignored him and walked over to Rikku's cage, kneeling by her side and studying her through the bars. The guard moved to pull him away, but Auron stopped him with a look before he could disturb the would-be Summoner.

"Now how did an Al Bhed girl end up lost in the heart of Bevelle, anyway?" he asked her gently. A frown touched his face as he saw the slow trickle of blood leaking from her shoulder, and a brief flash of anger flitted across his features. "She is injured. Why hasn't the wound been tended to yet?" he asked, standing up and fixing the guard with a stern look.

"But … sir … she's just an Al Bhed!" the guard replied angrily.

"She's a human being, and she deserves to be treated as one," Braska said curtly. He stared at the guard, who fidgeted slightly, then straightened up.

"She attacked Maester Mika," he said defensively.

Rikku, who had finally managed to quell the rabid laughter that was leaking from her mouth, leapt to her feet and then winced painfully. "I so did not!" she yelled. "That stupid Kelk Ronso is the one who attacked me! I was just trying to get inside the temple, but you guys got in my way!"

The guard spun around angrily, hefting his weapon. "Blasphemer! An Al Bhed, in a temple of Yevon! You should be put to death for this insolence!"

"Silence!" Braska said, his voice rising slightly. He was a quiet, unassuming man, soft spoken and gentle; however, there was something about his bearing that commanded respect from others. Usually it was a quiet something; when he felt strongly enough to raise his voice that power came blazing out, though, cowing others who stood in his presence.

_His will,_ Rikku thought. _Just like Yunie. That's why he can beat Sin._ Braska hadn't moved, but his presence seemed to fill the room. He turned and looked at her with a thoughtful expression. "Why did you want to enter the temple?" he asked her softly. "You are Al Bhed." She knew what he didn't voice; _you hate the temples. You hate the fayth. You hate the Summoners… you hate people like me._

Rikku shook her head wildly. "It's not like that!" she yelled. "I … I just wanted to see the fayth," she mumbled, looking down at her boots. _What am I supposed to say?_ she wondered. _I wanted to force Bahamut out of his statue and get him to send me back home, so I wouldn't have to watch the three of you die for nothing?_ Then she looked up with a glint in her eye. "I just wanted to ask them why."

Braska studied her for a moment, and then gave her a slow nod. "Unusual," he said finally. "Do I know you? You remind me of someone …" he added thoughtfully, squinting at her.

"Y-you know this criminal?" the guard piped up, his face paling. He grew quiet very quickly as Auron tapped the hilt of his sword deliberately.

"N-no! We've never met! Really! I'm nobody special!" Rikku babbled, smiling brightly and waving her hands around nervously. She started to rock on the balls of her feet and then stopped with a wince as the wound at her shoulder pulled even more. "Owwie…" she hissed quietly.

"Hmm," Braska said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin.

"Hey! You should take her too!" Jecht yelled suddenly, leaning against the bars of his cage. "She knows all about my Zanarkand. Said she saw it on a sphere or something!" Then he smiled broadly. "'Sides, it's never wrong to bring a babe along!"

"Babe?" Rikku spluttered, flushing red with disgust. Jecht, observant as he was, mistook her reaction for embarrassment.

"Ah, don't tell me you're shy, not when you're wearin' that getup!" he said with a loud laugh.

Rikku's face nearly turned purple and she exploded in anger. "You're a dirty old man!" she railed, shaking her fist against the bar. "For the last time, I am so not one of your stupid blitzball fans! And aren't you supposed to be MARRIED or something?" she added sharply, planting her hands on her hips. Then she blanched as Jecht grew quiet and stared at her intently.

"Now how would you know that unless you really have heard of me," he wondered out loud, fixing her under his baleful glare.

"Oopsie ..." Rikku mumbled, feeling the others turn to her with questioning stares.

"Braska, this is a bad idea," Auron cut in suddenly, rubbing at his temples. "First this drunkard, and now an Al Bhed -" he ignored the glare the others shot at him and continued brusquely. "- and it seems they know each other, too. I must strongly protest this, my lord! We don't know what mischief they might be planning!"

Rikku balled her fists together and glared at Auron, all tender thoughts of affection at his breathtaking younger appearance flying out the window. Well, almost all thoughts; he still had killer lips, especially when they were pursed together so angrily, she mused. _Focus, Rikku!_ She scolded herself and fixed her gaze somewhat higher on Auron's face.

"What I'm planning? _Hello?_ What about what you and Braska are planning, huh? You just want him to make this Pilgrimage so he can save the rest of us!" she spat out. "Look me in the eye and tell me how anything I can cook up could be worse than that!"

Auron's jaw clenched and he glared back at her but said nothing. Rikku met his stare boldly, refusing to be cowed by his fierce expression. _No way, not this time buster!_ She let out a small 'humpf' of satisfaction as Auron broke off the staring contest first, flushing angrily.

"Wow," Braska said faintly, turning to Rikku and giving her an appreciative smile. "I hadn't thought anyone else could do that to Auron, and here it's happened twice in a row in the space of a few minutes. I think that's a sign," he said with a small chuckle.

"Well?" Jecht said impatiently, baffled by the entire exchange. "So is she comin' with us or what?"

The smile remained on Braska's face as he regarded Rikku. "Are you interested?" he asked her. "It's better than staying here, I think. But ultimately, it is your choice."

Rikku looked at Braska and flushed slightly. _Is it? I don't want to make another Pilgrimage … I wanted that time to be over forever._ She winced and thought of Bahamut; if the only way back to her time was through the fayth, then she didn't have much of a choice after all.

"Yeah," she said faintly. "I'll go with you, Lord Braska."

"Then it's settled," Braska said reasonably. "Welcome to the group."


	3. Debunking A Legend

**- 3: Debunking A Legend -**

Unfortunately for Rikku, becoming one of Braska's Guardians wasn't quite as easy as simply accepting his verbal offer. She had seated herself on the floor of her tiny cell and was watching with boredom as Braska tried unsuccessfully to negotiate her release with the guard. "Hey, can I at least get a napkin here or something?" she asked, making a disgusted face as she swiped at the blood dribbling down her back. "Icky," she mumbled, wiping off the sticky redness on the hem of her skirt.

"Silence!" the guard yelled, glaring at her.

"Why?" Rikku replied snottily. "Prisoners should be seen and not heard? Well tough, you guys are the ones who shot me so deal!"

"Insolent little …"

"OWW OWW OWW OWW OWW!" Rikku shouted back at him irately. Then she gave the guard a fake smile. "I'll shut up if you let me out of here," she added sweetly.

"Miss, maybe you should stop trying to help," Braska mumbled. "Excuse me," he added more loudly, bringing the guard's attention back to their argument. "I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is that you want to make a Summoner's party out of a band of criminals!" the guard sputtered, scowling at Braska. "Can't you be satisfied with just one?" he added, gesturing towards Jecht, who was now freed and standing behind them.

"Hey, who are you callin' a criminal?" Jecht shot back, crossing his arms and glowering at the man.

"He might not call you a criminal if you would stop acting like one," Auron said sharply.

"Will you all please calm down?" Braska said firmly, turning around and glancing at the two men behind him. Sighing, he faced forward and addressed the guard who had planted himself in front of Rikku's cell. "We will vouch for her. You have my word that she will cause no further trouble while she is in Bevelle."

"Your word means nothing," the guard said. "Al Bhed lovers can't be trusted!"

"You," Auron grunted, narrowing his eyes and reaching for his sword.

"Threaten me with violence all you want!" the guard replied shrilly, backing several paces away from the silently fuming Guardian. "I'd rather be beaten for doing my job than executed for allowing the release of an Al Bhed assassin!"

"Will somebody please tell me who Al is?" Jecht roared, throwing his hands into the air.

_These are the guys who defeated Sin?_ Rikku thought to herself, gawking at their antics. _Boy, you sure wouldn't know it from looking at them._ Then the guard's words filtered through and she was struck by a sudden wave of panic. "Wait a minute, wait wait wait!" she screeched, springing to her feet. "What assassin? I'm not an assassin!" _Besides, you can't assassinate someone who's already dead, _she added ruefully.

"The Maesters will determine what happens to your worthless hide!" the guard answered, and Rikku paled.

"No WAY! Get me out of here!" she yelled, grabbing onto the bars and fixing Braska with a desperate stare. "I'm too young and beautiful to die in Bevelle! I'm a free spirit, not a killer! I love sand and sun and peace and freedom and … and … I'm allergic to firing squads! Help!"

"There's no help for you, girl. You're going to hang," the guard sneered.

"No one is going to hang!" Braska interrupted, looking upset. "If you would only listen -"

"I say we pound him and take the keys," Jecht offered helpfully, cracking his knuckles.

Rikku shrieked again, rattling the bars of her cage. "This story sucks! If I live thorough this I'm gonna kill that fayth myself!"

"YOU SEE!" the guard yelled, swinging his weapon towards Rikku.

Auron, who had remained suspiciously silent up to that point, finally reacted. More accurately, Rikku realized, she watched his temper boil over and get the better of him. _Uh-oh … when Auron's patience breaks something else usually does too,_ she thought, backing away from the bars cautiously.

"Whoa," Jecht yelled, leaping out of Auron's path as the Guardian swiftly strode past him and drew his massive sword. He slammed it down in front of the cowering guard, slicing through the heavy iron barrel of the outstretched rifle as though it was made out of paper. All noise in the chamber ceased immediately and a tense hush descended over the group, punctuated by the clanking of the severed metal barrel as it rolled across the stone floor.

"Shut up," Auron said tersely, taking a moment to straighten and glare at all of them before hefting the sword over his shoulder. "Look after Jecht," he told Braska. "I'll see to the girl myself. We'll meet you outside."

"What? Auron's allowed to give that sissy a pounding but I'm not?" Jecht grumbled as Braska hooked a hand around the blitzball player's elbow and dragged him towards the door.

"I've found that it's best not to question Auron's methods when he gets into one of his moods …" Rikku heard Braska murmuring discreetly while exiting the room.

"Hmm," Auron said, turning around and glowering at the trembling guard. He tapped his fingers on the hilt of his sword and frowned expectantly. "Either you can open it up, or I can."

"Y-yes, sir!" the guard said, tripping over himself as he fumbled for the keys to Rikku's cell. He managed to swing the door open clumsily but Rikku held back, fidgeting nervously as Auron's glare fixed on her.

"Well?" he asked her impatiently. "Are you coming or not?"

"Sheathe that thing first, then we'll talk," Rikku squeaked, hunching over unconsciously under his scrutiny and wincing as the motion tore even more at the scabbed wound on her shoulder.

Auron narrowed his eyes at her but put the sword away. "Fine. Now come out before you hurt yourself even more," he told her with irritation. While the lack of a wielded weapon did cut down on his intimidation factor slightly, it regrettably had the same effect on the pale-faced guard, who gathered enough courage to protest when Rikku stepped out of her cell.

"M-my superiors will hear of this!" he whimpered, scrambling to his feet and backing away towards the door.

"Good," Auron said brusquely. "Tell Kinoc we'll meet him in his office shortly."

The door slammed shut as the nervous guard exited the room, and Rikku was left alone at Auron's side. She realized with a start that she had grown taller since the last time she saw him; she no longer had to look up quite as much to see his face. The bigger shock was being able to see his smooth, unmarred features at all, though. "Umm … thanks, I think?" she told him with an uncertain smile.

Auron's lips twisted slightly in a grimace, and he grabbed her elbow roughly. "Make no mistake. I do this for Lord Braska, not you."

"Oww! What's the big idea? Leggo!" Rikku protested as he began to drag her towards the door. "Hey, hey, oww, stop it! I'll follow you, okay? You don't have to pull me around like a chocobo!"

Auron stopped abruptly and twisted towards her, keeping his vice-like grip on her forearm. He leaned down and glared at her, his gaze cold and hard, and when he spoke his tone was clipped. "You are a prisoner of Bevelle and a potential Al Bhed assassin. Against my better judgment, I am about to see to your release and entrust you with the privileged status of a Guardian. Therefore, I am directly responsible for your actions from now on." His grip tightened painfully and Rikku winced. "Do not think for an instant that I condone anything you have said or done. If it were up to me, I would not let you hang." He paused and loosened his grip on her arm slightly. "I'd have cut you down on sight."

"Ouch," Rikku said quietly, allowing Auron to pull her out of the room with a small pout. "But -"

"Conversation is unnecessary," Auron replied without even bothering to look at her, leading them swiftly through the complex maze of hallways in the large building.

"You don't have to be so rude, you know!" Rikku blurted out angrily. "I'm not an assassin!"

"Hmm," Auron grunted. "Just another innocent prisoner, then?" he asked sourly.

"That's right!" Rikku said stubbornly, finally managing to twist her arm out of Auron's grasp. He stopped to look at her but she gave him a shrug. "Lead the way! I'll be good, promise!" she told him seriously.

"Fine," he said after a moment, continuing down the hall. Rikku liked to think he let her go free because he trusted her not to do anything foolish; she could tell by the way his palm lingered near the hilt of his sword that he was actually considering it a good excuse to smite her if she made one false move. She swallowed loudly and flashed him a flustered smile. _Geez, he's such a hard-ass! Maybe age does mellow you out some._ "So…" she said nervously. "You're Auron, right? Don'tcha wanna know who I am?"

"No," he said curtly.

Rikku scowled. "C'mon, aren't you even the tiniest little bit curious?" She pouted cutely, trying to catch his attention. The pout disappeared when he stopped and glared at her frostily; it wasn't the kind of attention she had been hoping for, she thought uneasily.

He regarded her for a moment, and then spoke. "You are Al Bhed." It was all he said, but it was all he had to say.

Rikku felt her face grow slack when she heard those words. _This is a worse nightmare than I thought. Sir Auron isn't like this! He treats everyone badly, not just the Al Bhed!_ As she looked at him, however, she realized that he was not the Auron she had come to know during Yuna's Pilgrimage. This Auron was younger, angrier, and still very much a proud warrior monk. _He's one of them! He's a Yevonite,_ she thought with a chill. Unconsciously she took a step back from him, suddenly repulsed by his presence; his familiar features masked a stranger who she didn't know and couldn't trust, and it left her feeling cold and angry. That she still could recognize him at all seemed like the worst joke of all; this Auron was a mockery of the man she had thought she loved.

He noticed her sudden change of posture and gave her a puzzled look. _Of course,_ Rikku thought bitterly. _Al Bhed aren't accepted as people yet in this Spira. I should really know better than to be surprised by his attitude._ "Sorry," she told him haughtily, breaking away from his gaze. "I just thought you might be curious. My mistake. Please, go right on calling me whatever you want. In fact, why don't you add in a few more nouns to spice it up a little? Infidel, maybe, or scum if that's too hard. Al Bhed scum. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

Auron blinked in surprise and frowned at her. "I -" He hesitated, and when it became apparent that he wasn't going to apologize Rikku's contempt swelled to fill the uncomfortable pause.

"Don't hurt yourself trying too hard there," Rikku snipped, crossing her arms and wincing. "Can we at least save the argument until when we're out of this hole?"

Auron grunted and turned on his heel, continuing down the hallway. Rikku followed him sullenly, glaring daggers into the back of his red overcoat. He remained silent, but the slant of his shoulders was stiff with tension and Rikku ground her teeth together. "You know, Braska married an Al Bhed," she finally said, unable to keep herself silent. Auron chose not to respond, and Rikku smirked at his back. "Guess you're gonna have to watch what you say around him, seeing as how you're so concerned with the proper treatment of a Summoner." Auron ignored her needling and Rikku wondered if the black clouds boiling over her head might be visible. "Yevonite," she spat out venomously.

That stopped him abruptly and she almost smashed her nose into his back. She jumped away when he twisted his head around, giving her an angry glare. "I suppose you are proud of your own people's reception of Lord Braska, then. We do have you to thank for driving him to choose the Summoner's path, after all."

Rikku's mouth flopped open and then snapped shut, and she dropped her head shamefully. It was true; she vaguely remembered hearing of the controversy that had swirled around her father from Keyakku. Cid had exiled his own sister for marrying a priest of Yevon, and they had lost contact for several years. Her aunt had died when Sin attacked the ship on her first return trip to Bikanel; it happened before anything could be smoothed over, and a large part of both Cid and Braska had left with her. _I guess we Al Bhed weren't any better back then either,_ she thought guiltily. The sound of Auron's receding footsteps broke through her musing, and she quickly jogged down the hall to catch up with him.

"Hey," Rikku said as she pulled up alongside him. "Umm … sorry," she mumbled quietly, staring at the floor. Auron's pace didn't slack, and she felt a small tickle of anger. "… since someone has to be the bigger person here," she sniffed insolently.

"If you were an assassin," Auron said suddenly, looking straight ahead, "… then your strategy was brilliant. If not for the Ronso you might have succeeded."

Rikku slid her eyes sideways and looked at him. _Was that supposed to be some kind of a compliment?_ she thought curiously. _Wait, but I'm not an assassin!_ She scowled at him. "I wasn't trying to kill Maester Mika," she repeated firmly.

"Then you're an even greater fool than I suspected," he finished simply. His tone was not as harsh, however, and Rikku still felt confused. _Too many mixed signals,_ she thought, her head spinning as she tried to match up her knowledge of Auron with the surprisingly rude young man walking beside her. Was he apologizing? Was he insulting her? She couldn't tell.

_I guess it's better if he thinks I'm a clueless idiot rather than a deadly assassin. Hey, waitaminute!_ "Jerk," she mumbled under her breath.

"Hmm," Auron grunted, pausing as they reached a floating lift and waiting for her to board first. When they began to ascend, he turned and gave her one of his looks. Rikku squirmed uncomfortably; she knew those looks. He usually used those looks when he was pondering some issue that he didn't want to discuss out loud. Like, _"There is no final aeon,"_ or _"By the way, I'm dead,"_ or even _"I am NOT going to spend another night sharing a tent with Wakka."_

"What?" Rikku finally blurted out, fidgeting.

"How did you manage to smuggle a sphere into the cell?" he asked her. He let his eyes drop over her scant bikini in a brief but calculating appraisal, causing her to blush furiously before he lifted them back to her face. "You don't have a lot of places to hide one," he noted wryly.

Rikku crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Auron. "I hid them in my hair, alright, so you can stop thinking whatever dirty thoughts I bet you just had! Sheesh, you're as bad as Jecht!"

That wiped the smirk off of Auron's face faster than a stampeding chocobo could have. "Your hair," he repeated, his eyes landing on the mop of spikes and braids flopping out from her bandana.

"Yep," Rikku grinned, reaching up underneath the bandanna and feeling around until she found one of her spheres. "Ouch," she winced as she carefully untangled it and pulled it free. "See? Pretty cool, huh," she boasted proudly.

"Disgusting," Auron mumbled under his breath. "I don't see how you can stand not grooming yourself."

Rikku's mouth dropped open and then she glared at Auron. "Heeeey! I comb it … sometimes," she muttered, sulking as she fiddled with the sphere. "Besides, I like the natural look!"

"Stop playing with that," Auron interrupted her uncomfortably, glaring at the sphere in her hands.

Rikku jumped at his harsh tone and looked at the sphere curiously, then back at Auron. She drew her eyebrows together and pursed her lips. "Why? It's just a sphere."

Auron stiffened and turned away from her, folding his arms across his chest. The elevator came to a stop and he stepped out quickly and waited for her by the door, ignoring her questioning glance.

"No really, why?" Rikku piped up when she was at his side once more. "Everybody uses spheres. Even Yevon says they're a-okay!" _Ah-ha,_ she thought as she noticed Auron stiffen slightly. "Oh, I get it," she sang, bringing the sphere up and poking around the controls, delighting in the discomfort that registered on his face. "You think they're part of that whole forbidden machina deal, don'tcha!"

"I don't approve of them," Auron grumbled sourly. He turned his head and flinched when he realized Rikku was filming him, then scowled at her darkly. "Get that thing away from me!" he growled, his voice rising.

"Relax! This is perfectly harmless!" Rikku admonished him, holding the sphere even closer and grinning as he unconsciously jerked backwards. "You really need to lighten up some. It's not gonna suck out your soul or anything. See? You're fine!"

"Stop that. We're here," Auron grit out, pausing before a huge set of elaborately painted doors.

"Sure thing, chief!" Rikku agreed cheerfully, filing away the information for future usage. _Note to self – death by Auron can be escaped through clever use of paranoid machina superstitions._ The doors swung open, and Rikku quickly closed her palm over most of the sphere, surreptitiously keeping it running.

"Auron," a loud voice greeted them, "Bringing in trouble again I see?"

_Kinoc!_ Rikku jumped, her mouth falling open. It was definitely him, though she wouldn't have believed it. His chin was covered with a neatly trimmed beard and a fancy metal helmet obscured almost his entire face save for his eyes. Most shockingly, however, was his lack of girth. _Wow … he could almost pass for someone good-looking,_ Rikku thought with amazement, ogling him in shock.

"I trust you've heard already," Auron responded with a note of amusement. Rikku shot a quick look of surprise at her stoic companion; he seemed to let his guard down around Kinoc, the frown on his face easing slightly. "Braska wants to make this one a Guardian," he said, making an off-handed gesture towards Rikku.

Kinoc sighed and shook his head, pacing around the room. "I know we're friends, Auron, but this is going to take more than just a little string-pulling. She tried to assassinate Mika after all."

"Hey!" Rikku piped up in annoyance. "I'm right over here!" _Maybe he looks better, but he's still the same rotten person on the inside,_ she thought as Kinoc gave her a depreciatory glance and then continued to ignore her.

"Well?" he asked Auron expectantly.

Auron sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "… she's not an assassin, Wen. Trust me."

"Huh, you mean you believe me?" Rikku gaped, her mouth dropping open again.

"She managed to down one of the guards without a weapon, disabled four others with their own bomb and broke through the inner line, and if it hadn't been for Kelk she might have even reached Mika. Do you know how many years people have been trying to do just that unsuccessfully?" Kinoc retorted dryly. He snorted and shook his head. "And now you expect me to believe that this Al Bhed girl, acting completely on her own of course, just got lucky?"

"Hey! Luck is my middle name!" Rikku shouted, stomping her foot. She noticed Auron glaring at her and fell quiet. _Eh … maybe I shouldn't be trying so hard to convince him that I'm a danger,_ she thought with a feeble laugh. "I wasn't trying to get to Maester Mika!" Rikku repeated. "I just wanted to see the temple, that's all!"

Kinoc finally turned and gave her a shrewd look. "An Al Bhed convert? What's next, machina in the temples?"

Rikku bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw blood. _If only you knew …_ she thought, glaring hotly at Kinoc. He seemed to note her anger with amusement and took a step closer.

"Quite the fighting spirit this one has," he said thoughtfully; the lewd tone of his voice made Rikku shiver and back away from him. She discreetly tried to position herself behind Auron's broad shoulders, feeling horribly exposed as she noticed Kinoc's eyes lingering over her body. "I have to admit, there is something to be said for that scandalous Al Bhed fashion," he said with short laugh. "I suppose no one was really hurt in the attack. Perhaps we can come to an agreement after all," he added, taking another step towards Rikku. He stopped when Auron shifted his weight subtly, drawing Kinoc's attention.

"Wen," Auron interrupted curtly. "Business."

The other man laughed and shook his head in amusement. "Always the straight arrow, weren't you Auron? You should learn to relax and enjoy the finer things in life."

"I'm a Guardian now. I take my vows seriously," Auron told him coldly.

"Yes? Well celibacy isn't one of them, my friend," Kinoc replied, letting his eyes drift towards Rikku again.

"I have no time or interest for Al Bhed women. If you knew what was good for your career, neither would you." Though Auron's tone was insulting, Rikku couldn't have been happier about his timely intervention. _Better a hard-ass Auron getting in Kinoc's way than no Auron at all,_ she thought with a huge mental sigh of relief.

Kinoc stopped and gave Auron a puzzled glance. "Fine, you win," Kinoc finally sighed, stepping over towards his desk and sorting through a stack of papers. Finding what he was looking for, he grabbed a quill and began to quickly scribble across it. "This is the last time I can do this for you, Auron. We may be friends, but as you said …" He signed the paper with a flourish. "I have to start thinking about what's good for my own career." Blowing on the parchment gently, he rolled it up and handed it to Auron. "Full release forms and a formal recognition of Braska's request. And, should you successfully pass through the Cloister of Trials, you'll have two days to leave Bevelle, no longer."

Auron gave the other man a curt nod and tucked the papers away inside of his coat. "Thanks for everything, Kinoc."

Kinoc smiled wryly and returned the nod. "I know I don't need to tell you this, but guard Lord Braska well."

The tension in Auron's frame eased slightly, and he offered a rare smile for his friend. "That I will. And you'll be busy, too." He looked over Kinoc, noting the crest on his helmet, and smirked dryly. "I heard they made you second-in-command."

The smile fled from Kinoc's face as he turned away from them and dropped his gaze to the floor. "Auron … you know that promotion was meant for you. You were always the better one, even until the end."

Once again, Rikku was caught by surprise, gaping at the man in front of her. _Him, passing up a promotion? Our Auron might have ended up as a Maester of Yevon?_ She squinted and tried to imagine him as an older man, dressed in the finery of a Maester's robes. It wasn't working at all; his fierce scowl always seemed to rip apart the image before it could fully form.

Auron's low chuckle brought her back to the present, and Rikku's insides turned to jelly at the sound. _He laughed! It's… it's… better than the hymn! Better than machina! That's it! Mission time Rikku, make Auron laugh more!_

"You make it sound as if I was going off to die or something," Auron continued, oblivious to the salivating girl behind him. "I will see you again."

"Yes," Kinoc replied with a tired smile. For an instant the trappings of his position fell away, and Rikku saw the shadow of a man who was kind and good-humoured, patient enough to pierce through Auron's gruff exterior and loyal enough to earn his friendship.

_He fell so far,_ Rikku thought with a touch of sadness. The brief exchange sobered her quickly, and she worried her lower lip. Their parting reminded her strongly of the reluctant farewell she had bid to Yuna and Paine when they left the Gullwings. _Will that be us one day?_ The sudden feeling of homesickness blindsided Rikku and she blinked furiously, trying to push it away the telltale tears before either of the men would notice her. _I think I'd even be happy to see Brother again right now,_ she thought miserably.

"Well then ..." Auron said, squaring his shoulders.

Kinoc gave the other man a genuine smile, even if it was a little strained at the edges. "Going already?" He chuckled wryly. "You will tell me about Zanarkand when you return, won't you?"

Auron only smirked. "Farewell," he said as he turned and herded Rikku out of Kinoc's office. He paused when the doors shut behind them and looked at Rikku, noticing the sphere still in her hand. "I thought I told you to shut that off," he grumbled, all traces of good humour leaving his countenance.

"Oh!" Rikku yelped, jumping and quickly disabling the sphere. She tucked it away into her hair before he could grab it, laughing nervously. "Well, you heard the man! Let's get out of here before they change their minds!"

Auron continued to regard her closely, and then shook his head. "We will speak of this later," he promised her darkly. "Follow me." And once again he took off, and Rikku had to scurry to keep up with his massive strides.

"You could walk a little slower, you big meanie!" Rikku huffed as she caught up with him. "It's not like I know my way around here!" They stopped in front of another set of elevators and Rikku held her breath. _Well, actually, this does look familiar … isn't this the hallway where we fought Baralai?_ She blinked and turned when she heard Auron clearing his throat loudly, and noticed that he was waiting for her to step onto the lift. "Oh, uh, sorry …" she muttered, flushing slightly. _Great, Rikku. I bet he thinks you're a total space case now!_ "Why do you always wait for me to go first anyway?" Rikku asked quickly. "I already told you I wasn't gonna try to run away!"

Auron cocked his head slightly and his brow wrinkled in faint amusement. "The Al Bhed have no manners," he observed as he boarded the platform behind her.

"Well neither do you," Rikku shot back, crossing her arms and sulking.

"Hmm," Auron replied, though his expression settled into something vaguely less cross than before. Not that that was saying much, Rikku noted. It was like observing that a grenade was slightly less explosive than a bomb. Both could still easily blow up in your face at the slightest provocation.

"So where are you taking me now?" Rikku asked cautiously, following him out of the lift when it came to a stop.

"Kinoc granted you full release forms," Auron told her. "First we collect your belongings. Then we leave."

Joy flooded through Rikku at his words, and she had to stop herself from leaping forward and hugging the man in front of her in sheer relief. _My gear! My potions, my daggers, my grid!_ "Holy Macalania, I thought they were goners!" she exclaimed out loud, jumping and twirling a fist in the air as she danced. Then she winced and put her arm down quickly. "Oww! The first thing I'm going to do when I get my stuff back is drink a potion!" she groaned.

"Don't count on it," Auron told her as they stopped in front of another set of double doors. He pushed them open and stepped into the large room. Rikku's eyes widened as she took in the sight; it was obviously a storage and supply room of some sort. Countless rows of neatly labelled shelves seemed to stretch endlessly into distance, and a tall counter manned by several priests barricaded access to the equipment.

"Whoa," Rikku mumbled in awe, her eyes sparkling. It was a thief's personal heaven; O'aka probably would have had a heart attack and died if he could have seen Bevelle's stock. "This is incredible!" she breathed, trying to absorb the gleaming weapons and rows of bottles, gems and pouches lining the shelves. Distantly she noticed that their presence was garnering stares from both the clerks as well as the guards who were lined up behind the counters to collect their rations. Rikku shrugged it off quickly, though. Even a young Auron was intimidating enough to keep the questions at bay, and she was still much too busy soaking in the impressive display of wealth to be bothered by the scrutiny. She stumbled over her own feet when Auron pulled her towards a corner of the room, making his way towards one of the shorter lines behind the counter.

"You think they might let us borrow some of this stuff?" Rikku whispered to him excitedly. "You know, for helping out on Braska's Pilgrimage?"

Auron winced and tightened his grip on her arm, and Rikku realized she had been unconsciously hopping from foot to foot in her eagerness. "Calm down," he growled at her lowly. "You're making a scene. And no," he added as an afterthought.

"Why not?" Rikku whined, though she did manage to suppress most of her excitement behind a single eagerly tapping foot.

"Bevelle keeps a detailed record of their supplies," Auron explained to her with an air of strained patience. "If you take something, they will notice." He fixed her with a stern look and Rikku's foot paused momentarily. "If you take something, **_I_** will notice."

"Geez, fine," Rikku huffed, rolling her eyes. _At least I have my own supplies, and I bet it's better than any of the junk those Yevonites keep here anyway,_ she thought with a satisfied smirk. The line moved forward, and she stepped up beside Auron and tried her best to look innocent as the priest behind the counter gave her a withering glare.

"Order?" he said sceptically, eyeing Rikku over the rim of his heavyset glasses. Auron handed him the rolled sheet of paper and after a brief perusal, he shuffled away from them and pulled a small cardboard box from one of the shelves. "Here you are," he said, sliding the box over the countertop.

"Gimmie gimmie gimmie!" Rikku cheered, pulling the box over before Auron could stop her and tearing the cover off. She peeked in, and then her face fell. "Hey! What gives? Where's my stuff?" she mumbled as she stared into the depths of the nearly-empty box. Her curved daggers were still there, neatly crossed, and over them the custom belt she had crafted was folded. Even without picking it up, however, Rikku could see that her pouches were completely empty. "My potions! My gem collection!" she noted with increasing concern, rooting through the rest of the box quickly. She let out a small breath of relief as she noted that the garment grid was still hooked onto the belt; apparently whoever had sorted through her things had assumed it was simply an overwrought buckle of some sort. Everything else of value, however, was completely gone. "You even took my bracelets, you Yevon bast-" her rapidly rising howl was silenced as a gloved hand descended over her mouth and clamped it shut.

"Thank you," Auron told the priest, collecting the box and hauling Rikku away from the countertop. He kept his iron grip around her until they were well outside of the room, drawing the stares and snickers of the other priests and guards who observed their awkward exit. Rikku struggled fiercely against his grip, too angry to play nice, but he was too strong for her to break free. She even opened her mouth and bit into his hand, but he only grunted and tightened his hold. Finally, when they rounded the corner, he thrust her away from him with a soft curse and shook out his hand. "I told you to calm down!" he growled at her.

"They stole my stuff!" Rikku yelled, balling her hands into fists and trying to stomp back down the hallway. Auron moved quickly, blocking her path and shoving the now-crumpled box into her arms. "Get out of my way!" she yelled at him, her eyes glinting.

"Be thankful that you had that much returned to you at all," he told her curtly. "Equip yourself so we can leave this place. Braska is waiting for us."

"But -" Rikku sputtered angrily.

"No buts, no excuses and no more theatrics!" Auron yelled, and Rikku shut her mouth quickly. _Uh-oh, looks like he's mad again,_ she thought nervously. Then her face dropped into a scowl that probably would have made him proud if it hadn't been aimed in his direction. _Well I'm mad too!_ "That was my stuff! What right do they have to take it? I stole it fair and square!"

Rikku didn't think Auron could appear any more displeased than he already was, but somehow he managed to look even more put out than before. "You're a thief," he said with an air of disbelief. Then he laughed, but it wasn't the warm, friendly sound that he shared with Kinoc that made her insides curl and melt. This laugh was jagged and sharp, and it cut into her and flayed her open, making her feel like a messy grease stain on the pristine marble floors of the temple. "I knew you were trouble."

"So what if I'm a thief!" Rikku yelled, stomping her foot angrily. "I spent a long time collecting all that stuff from fiends for your information! That wasn't exactly easy to do!"

Auron only strode past her, the hard smile that was still on his face looking more like a distorted grimace. "I don't believe this," he muttered under his breath.

"Hey! Hey, I'm not done talking to you yet!" Rikku yelled, scrambling after him as she strapped her daggers into the belt in her hand. "Maybe you don't give a crap about how I feel right now, but that was everything I had!" Auron didn't slow down, and in a burst of speed, Rikku scurried in front of him and planted herself in his path defiantly. "We have to go back and get my things!" she shouted.

"If your equipment is that important to you," Auron told her harshly as he came to a stop, "why don't you just go back upstairs and seduce Kinoc? I suppose he would be happy to help you for the right price."

Rikku recoiled instantly. "What?" she gasped, her eyes going wide with shock. _Oh, he so didn't just go there,_ she thought furiously. "Is that what you really think of me?"

"What else should I think?" Auron countered, gesturing at her dress, or lack thereof. "You come into the heart of Yevon touting your Al Bhed clothing and morals, and wonder that Bevelle is less than accommodating to your needs. Perhaps you can fool Braska, but you can't possibly expect me to believe that you're that naïve."

Rikku clenched and unclenched her fists repeatedly, looking at the ground in front of Auron's boots and willing herself to count backwards slowly. _He's just being Auron,_ she hissed to herself. _Somewhere in there is a good person, the Auron I know. The one who isn't a TOTAL ASSHOLE. Oh, screw it!_ "You're unbelievable!" she exploded, throwing her hands up into his face, though he managed to pull back before her fingers clipped his nose. "It's not just the machina, is it! You people pass judgment on us for every single little thing we do! The way we talk, the way we dress, the way we wear our hair!"

Rikku's voice was loud and shrill, and with a quick curse, Auron glanced up and down the empty hallway before grabbing her and dragging her into one of the smaller alcoves in the building. "You will be silent!" he hissed, anger simmering dangerously in his low tone. "We are still inside the palace of Bevelle, the seat of power for all Yevon. Is it your wish to get us both killed?"

"Stuff it!" Rikku shot back, glaring at him angrily. "The way you Yevonites talk about us we may as well be dead! You sure seem to think it's a lot better than being ourselves!" Auron's grasp on her arms tightened, and she winced.

"Is that what you call these little displays? Your very own cultural identity? That's a pitiful excuse for Al Bhed depravity."

"That's exactly what it is!" Rikku hissed back, angrily shoving his hands off of her arms. "You wanna talk about depravity? Kinoc's the one who came onto me, you ass! Only someone as dense as a Yevonite could think I enjoyed it! And there's something else," she added, cutting him off before he could speak. "You have some nerve saying those things to me. YOU PEOPLE are the ones who drove us out of Spira! You forced us to live on the crusty, ugly, forgotten edges of the world where no one else would go. But we didn't die out like you hoped! We survived, we even grew prosperous." Rikku stuck out her finger and slammed it into Auron's armoured chest a few times. It bruised her unprotected digit more than anything else, but she wanted to drive the point home literally. "We learned to live in sun and wind and sand and water and you know what? We're good at it! We don't need your robes and your religion to make it out there! We're doing it on our own, and we can show as much skin as we want while we're at it because yes! We AREN'T like you and we're PROUD of it. So take your prudish little morals and your crappy assumptions and shove 'em, 'cause you don't know anything about us!" She finished her tirade with a pant, heaving and shaking and glaring at Auron.

Though he did look surprised by her outburst, his reaction wasn't as great as she had hoped it would be. Ideally, it involved him throwing himself at her ankles and begging for forgiveness. Through back massages. With his lips. She groaned and rubbed her fingers over her throbbing temples. "Forget it, okay, Auron? Let's just find Braska."

"I apologize for saying that."

Rikku whirled around and stared. "Huh?" she managed to say. He didn't repeat himself, and she flushed and played with the tassels of the belt in her hands nervously. _He's such a jerk … and a Yevonite … and an Auron. Shoot. _"Okay," she said softly. Then, shaking herself, she reached into her hair and began the arduous process of untangling the dresspheres that she had hidden beneath her blond locks. It was a task that was loud enough and required just enough attention to break the uncomfortable silence that she felt descending between them. "Owwie owwie ouch!" she hissed as the spheres tumbled into her hands, one after the other. She felt Auron's stare and parted the curtain of hair that had spilled over her face to look at him. "What?" she asked indignantly.

"… how many of those do you have in there?" he asked her incredulously.

"Just five!" Rikku huffed, sorting through the glowing blue orbs. She frowned and tucked the two newest recordings safely away; without Shinra to check over them first, she wasn't willing to test what "disasterrific" results they might produce on her garment grid. "Great … if I had known this was gonna happen, I would've brought the Machina Maw," she moaned, carefully slotting the remaining working dresspheres into her grid. _Get real … if I had known I would be making another Pilgrimage to fight Sin, I'd have mugged Paine for The End,_ she thought to herself sourly.

"You have a belt buckle that holds spheres," she heard Auron observe dryly.

"So? This is the latest trend in Al Bhed fashion!" Rikku replied defensively. It was, technically speaking; he didn't need to know that the rest of Spira would have to wait another fifteen years before it picked up.

"Yevon help us all," Auron mumbled, and Rikku spun around to shake a fist at him with her retort. Then she yelped and fumbled with the belt; in her haste she had almost dropped it onto the floor. The unexpected shock of nearly smashing her spheres and grid made her knees grow weak and her mouth dry out, and brought the reality of her situation back with screaming clarity.

_Holy machina, I almost broke my only real weapons here!_ she thought, gingerly checking the grid for damage. _Gotta be more careful, Rikku,_ she told herself sternly as she slipped the belt around her waist. _Shinra won't be here to give you a replacement if you break something now._ Steeling herself against the usual rush of energy, Rikku snapped the grid into place.

_Pain. Pain? But why — **P A I N !**_

"Augh," Rikku managed to choke out, arching against the wall in shock. The magic grids had always produced a slight reaction when being equipped, but the sudden blast of energy that poured into her when the belt clicked into place wasn't like anything she had ever felt before. It raced through her veins, white-hot like fire and needles; too much magic tumbling into her much too quickly, flooding her body like an electric current racing through water. She was sure the energy was going to come tearing out through her pores, ripping off her skin and melting her into the wall she leaned against. "Aaaah!" she wheezed again, unable to catch enough breath to properly scream out the agony that was rushing through her limbs as black spots danced before her eyes.

Slowly the pain receded, leaving Rikku gasping and sobbing for breath. She noticed her hands had twisted into painful claws and that they were shaking uncontrollably, and she had to make a conscious effort to still them. Then she noticed that she wasn't standing upright; once again Auron had his arms around her, though this time he was holding her steady rather than dragging her away. Another tremor wracked her frame, and Rikku hunched over and shoved him off.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, surprise clearly splashed over his face.

"I- I don't know," Rikku stuttered, drawing in deep, slow breaths. "What just happened?"

"You had a seizure of some kind," he told her, touching her uninjured shoulder briefly. He hesitated for a moment before asking his next question. "Is this a normal occurrence?"

Rikku coughed and spat dryly, then straightened up and shot him an angry glare. "No, it's not. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I'm still fit enough to be a Guardian." Part of the reason she was angry was to cover the hurt, however; for a brief moment, when he had touched her shoulder, it had almost seemed as though he was concerned. That was, until he dispelled the illusion by asking his question. _That's Auron for you. Always business first, see who you stepped on later._

Auron only gave her an appraising stare and nodded curtly. "The exit is that way," he said, gesturing down the hall before setting off by himself.

Rikku remained propped against the wall and glared at his back spitefully. "Thanks for being a gentleman!" she called out sarcastically, and heard him grunt in response. _Great … everything's going just peachy right now. Thanks a lot, Bahamut,_ Rikku grumbled to herself. There was no time to dwell on the matter; if something was wrong with the garment grid, then she wasn't going to risk paralyzing herself again by taking it off, especially not in front of him. "This is not turning out like I thought it would at all," she sulked, gathering herself together and trailing after him.


	4. Rikkma's Arrival

**- 4: Rikkma's Arrival - **

When Rikku emerged from the confines of the palace, the first sight that greeted her was Braska and Jecht arguing with each other. Though Braska was simply standing quietly with his hands folded together, it seemed that whatever he was saying was having an adverse effect on Jecht, who was pacing around the tall man like a caged tiger and occasionally punctuating his words with sweeping gestures. Quickening her pace, Rikku hurried after Auron to greet the other two men.

"Hey, what's going on?" she asked as both Braska and Jecht turned and noticed their arrival.

"Oh, there you are. I was starting to wonder if Auron was losing his touch," Braska said with a small smile.

"I wasn't the cause of the delay," Auron replied stiffly. He didn't turn to face Rikku, so the effect of her pout as she stuck her tongue out was completely lost on him. It wasn't on the other two, however, and Braska tactfully hid his smile while Jecht grinned openly. Auron bristled but didn't take the bait. Instead, he nodded at Braska. "We should move. It isn't wise to remain here considering our present company."

"Hey!" Rikku and Jecht cried out loudly at the same time, drawing more than a few stares from the people passing by.

"I see what you mean," Braska said to Auron with a slight nod. "Please, allow me to take you to my apartment so you two can get cleaned up." He eyed Rikku's shoulder speculatively and frowned. "And healed," he added.

"Oh, this is fine," Rikku said carelessly, wincing as she brushed at her shoulder, which was still slowly oozing blood. "I've had worse!"

"Fine for you, maybe," Jecht said, throwing his hands over his head as they strolled down the street. "The rest of us have to look at you bleedin' all over yourself!" he grumbled. "You should let Auron walk behind you, seems like the type of thing he'd enjoy seein'."

Rikku clenched her teeth and balled her fists up. "I'll bet he would," she mumbled under her breath. Noticing Braska's curious stare, she quickly widened the grimace into a bright smile and turned to face him. "Oh, umm … thanks for getting me out of there, by the way!" she told him cheerfully.

"No gratitude is necessary, miss …" Braska reassured her, pausing to direct them down a smaller alleyway. "... aah. I think you have me at a slight disadvantage here," he noted, giving Rikku a curious smile. "Might I have the pleasure of your name?"

A slightly vindictive smile crossed her face. "Oh, well, since Auron knows my name already maybe he should tell you." _Hah, stick that in your pipe and smoke it!_ she thought triumphantly.

The Guardian in question narrowed his eyes. "Your injury doesn't seem to have wounded your tongue. Tell him yourself." He ignored the thoughtful look that Braska gave him and directed his attention towards the street.

_Parried and avoided,_ Rikku noted with an annoyed sulk. _Still, Braska looked at him funny. I think that counts as a score for me. Rikku one, Auron zippo!_ She hid her smirk as she noticed Braska now staring at her oddly.

"Miss?" he asked again.

"Huh? OH!" she yelled, flushing deeply.

"Definitely a natural blonde," she heard Jecht mumble and scowled darkly when Auron chuckled in response.

"Hey, no double teaming!" Rikku yelled at the blitzball player.

Jecht only rolled his eyes and twirled a finger by his temple in response. "You ain't allowed to talk to me when you're havin' one of your crazy attacks," he replied. "Or don't tell me you forgot your own name now, too."

Rikku fumed silently and stalked away from Jecht with an exaggerated stomp, garnering a few more snickers from her male companions. "Oh! Boys can be so dumb," she growled. "For your information, I remember my own name perfectly well! It's Ri- Ri- …" She trailed off and swallowed. _What do I tell them? What do I do? What if this isn't just some kind of dream but the real past? Will Auron recognize me? No, wait, of course he wouldn't! But … oh my gosh, what if Braska recognizes me? Does he even know about me? Ooh … what to say, what to say!_

The silence stretched out uncomfortably, and Rikku noticed Braska was giving her a polite, if a bit strained smile while Jecht was rolling his eyes again and shaking his head. Auron was directing yet another suspicious look towards her; the frequency with which he threw them in her direction was tempting her to give it a name. _The Rikku Look,_ she thought. _Yeah, that sounds pretty good. Except that I can't tell him it's called that!_

"Ri-ri …?" Braska prompted curiously, interrupting Rikku's brief flight of panic. "That's … a curious name for an Al Bhed."

"Rikkma! My name's Rikkma!" Rikku blurted out. Then she winced. _Geez, that's an awful name. I hope Uncle Braska doesn't speak too much Al Bhed …_

Unfortunately for her, Braska seemed to be well-educated. His steps slowed and he blinked at Rikku; even worse than that, he was in a sharing mood. "Your father named you Huggle?" he repeated in disbelief. That stopped everyone else, who also turned to stare.

Rikku's blush grew so large that it crept down from her face and over her neck. She was actually beginning to wish she was wearing more clothing; all cultural pride aside, there was something to be said for not looking like a roasted wendigo in public. "I was a really cute little kid, alright!" Rikku protested loudly. _Well, that much was true!_ Silently, she was contemplating whether or not it would be possible to drop-kick her own brain. _Definitely not one of my better ideas here,_ she moaned to herself as the others continued to snigger at her.

"Well no wonder you were tryin' to keep it quiet," Jecht told her with a broad grin. "No worries, _Hugglebunny,_ we won't let you forget it again!"

Rikku sputtered and glared daggers at Jecht. "That's Rikkma to you!" she shouted angrily.

Braska, who somehow managed to recover with dignity, gave Rikku an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," he said mildly. "Would you prefer to be called something else, Rikkma?"

_Yes, please!_ "No, Rikkma's fine," Rikku managed to say through her clenched teeth as her tattered pride died a silent and yet very dramatic death.

"Aw, you sure I can't call you Huggle?" Jecht asked her playfully.

"Really, no," Rikku hissed.

"How 'bout Huggle-Snuggle?"

"NO," Rikku repeated.

"Huggie-Wuggie?" Jecht tried again.

Rikku leapt for his face and he dodged away, laughing at her. _Damn those blitzball reflexes!_ "You're so dead when I get my hands on you!" she screamed furiously, diving for him again as Braska hastily stepped out of the way.

"Enough!" Auron suddenly yelled, bringing the trio's antics to an abrupt halt. "This is neither the time nor the place for such childish behaviour," he ground out, giving his _Rikku Look_ to all three of them. "Will you please try to control yourself?" he asked Jecht sourly. "And you will let him go," he added in a warning tone to Rikku.

Reluctantly, Rikku released the headlock she had managed to wrest Jecht into and shuffled the toe of her boot into the dirt. "Spoilsport," she muttered under her breath, and Jecht grunted in agreement.

"Did you say something?" Auron said loudly, the glare intensifying.

_Rikku Look Mark II, _she noted to herself,_ for personal use only!_ That so far only she had managed to provoke it gave her a mild sense of accomplishment, and she had to struggle to hide her giggle. "No, sir!" Rikku replied sweetly, doing her best to look innocent.

Auron eyed her suspiciously before turning back down the road. "Fine. Can we continue our journey now, Huggie?" he added smoothly.

Rikku's mouth dropped open; though she could only see the back of his head, she was sure there was a satisfied smirk plastered across his face. _Why that little sneak!_ she fumed.

"Hah!" Braska said, shaking his head in amusement as he followed after Auron.

"Congratulations, Rikkma. I think that's the first time I've heard Auron make a joke."

"Oh?" Rikku repeated nonchalantly, her annoyance deflating as quickly as it had come.

_Hmm… Rikku one, Auron one. I really should be minding this a little bit more,_ she thought as a silly grin stole across her face. The dominant half of her mind was deciding to ignore her reason in favour of sending nervous tingles of pleasure through her body for having managed to make Auron smile.

"Hey," Jecht said, cuffing Rikku over her uninjured shoulder and knocking her out of her stupor. "Are you moonin' over a stiff like that?" He gestured at Auron's back as he spoke. "Man, you are a loony," he grinned, noticing her sudden blush.

Rikku sighed and trailed after Jecht reluctantly. "I know," she mumbled.

The remaining few blocks to Braska's residence passed without incident; this was mostly because Rikku was too preoccupied to pay very much attention to her companions. The further they travelled down the small alley, the shoddier the buildings became; the one they finally stopped before was tall and plain, crumbling from lack of repair and very obviously belonging to one of the lower circles of Bevelle's social rings. The entire district, in fact, appeared less than wealthy; just another one of Yevon's dirty little secrets carefully hidden from the public eye by the city's glorious exterior. It surprised and dismayed her; for some reason Rikku had always imagined that her uncle was well-off and respected even before he began his Pilgrimage. Yuna had never mentioned anything to her about it while they were growing up; then again, in a small village like Besaid the dividing lines of wealth and power were practically non-existent. She let her eyes travel over the dilapidated building and managed to hold back her disappointed sigh.

"What a dump," she heard Jecht echo behind her much less tactfully, earning him an angry glare from Auron.

"I know it's not much," Braska began with a touch of embarrassment, "but it does have all the comforts of home."

Jecht rubbed the back of his head uneasily and fumbled for a way to draw his foot out of his mouth. "Oh, uh … well, it's a nice dump," he tried. Rikku scowled and smacked him on the arm and he fell silent.

"What he meant is thanks for taking us in," Rikku clarified, smiling brightly at Braska. "It sure beats the heck out of the inside of a prison cell!"

"I live here with my daughter Yuna," Braska explained as he let them into the hallway and moved towards a flight of dingy stairs. "She's only seven years old, but I assure you she's very well-behaved."

"A daughter, huh?" Jecht repeated thoughtfully. "Can't wait to meet her!" he said with an eager smile as he followed Braska.

Rikku ducked her head and held back behind them, worrying her lower lip. _Yunie's still here! I forgot about that … ooh …_

"Changed your mind?"

Rikku spun around and saw Auron waiting for her to climb the steps, his arms folded.

"Huh?" she asked him.

"If you wish to leave now, I won't stop you," he said levelly.

Rikku frowned at Auron and matched his pose, tapping her foot. "You really think I'd just cut out the first chance I got?" she said incredulously. "For your information, I could've left you guys anytime I wanted to! You're just trying to pick a fight with me now, aren't you?" Auron tipped his head slightly and watched her solemnly. He didn't look upset - at least, not any more than he usually did. Rikku dropped her arms and shifted her weight uneasily, waiting for him to speak.

"Unlike Jecht, you seem to know what becoming a Guardian entails." His stare unnerved her and Rikku dropped her eyes to the ground. "No one would think less of you if you decided to leave right now."

Rikku rocked on her feet slowly, an unconscious habit she had picked up whenever she was lost in thought. _He's … giving me a chance to cut my losses and run,_ she thought to herself. _Almost like the Auron I know. I should probably go before I mess things up… taking his advice would be the smart thing to do. But he's being so nice!_

"Come on, if we hang around here too long they're gonna wonder what happened to us," Rikku finally said, looking up at him with a grin. Then she turned and sprinted up the stairs, too nervous to see his reaction. If he was disappointed with her decision, she knew it would shake her confidence. She was more scared about how she would feel if he wasn't, though.

Rikku arrived at the top of the steps in time to see a tiny girl with an unruly mop of brown hair come barrelling out of the apartment and into Braska's outstretched arms. He laughed loudly and scooped the girl up, spinning her around before settling her against his chest.

"Yunie," Rikku whispered to herself as she caught sight of the girl's mismatched eyes. Then she quickly stepped behind Jecht's bulk and tried to make herself small.

"Ain't she a little angel!" Jecht said, and she heard Yuna giggle in response. "Her mother must be a real looker," he added, giving Braska an appreciative wink.

"Yes, she's my whole world now," Braska admitted fondly, planting a small kiss on his daughter's forehead. "Everything I do is for her." Noticing Jecht's sudden change of expression, he laughed and shook his head at the corpulent, dark-skinned woman who had also emerged from the apartment. "Oh, this is Marcha, a friend. She looks after Yuna when I'm not at home," Braska said quickly. "My wife … can't be here right now," he finished with a pained expression. Shaking his head, he gave a thankful smile to the woman as she left down the stairs. "Please, come inside and make yourselves at home."

Jecht followed Braska through the doorway eagerly but Rikku hesitated outside, wavering uncertainly. She quickly made up her mind and stepped through when she felt Auron's presence behind her, however. _I'll make it through this. Just act cool, "Rikkma!"_

"Daddy, who's that?" Yuna's quiet voice made Rikku jump nervously and emit a little squeak of surprise. As she feared, Yuna's mismatched eyes were trained on her in rapt fascination. "She looks like mommy!"

"That's because Rikkma is also Al Bhed, just like your mother," Braska said gently, giving Rikku an amused smile.

"Her eyes are green!" Yuna said again, a sunny grin breaking over her face as she pointed at Rikku. "Just like mine!" The little girl was obviously very excited; Rikku couldn't blame her, though. It wasn't often that Al Bhed were spotted anywhere near Bevelle, not unless they were criminals awaiting punishment. Still, she breathed a tiny sigh of relief when Yuna's curious gaze shifted over towards Jecht. "Who's that?" she asked, pointing at the large man.

"I'm Jecht, star blitzer of the Zanarkand Abes!" he said proudly, giving Yuna a broad smile. The smile dropped as Yuna ignored him and broke out into a delighted squeal.

"Auron!" she shouted as the object of her attention entered the room. She rushed towards him and threw her arms around his leg tightly. Rikku had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud as Auron glanced down and furrowed his brow uncomfortably.

"Yuna," he said, giving the girl an awkward pat on the head. "I need that leg."

"Sorry," she mumbled, releasing him reluctantly and stepping back to give him a formal bow before returning to her father's arms.

"You got a real way with women, Auron," Jecht observed dryly, earning him a glare from both his subject and Rikku. "Quite a place you got yourself here, Braska," Jecht added with a grin.

"It's not much, but I call it home," Braska said, pulling a giggling Yuna onto his knee and bouncing her playfully.

Rikku let her eyes travel over the sparsely decorated room; though small, it was very clean and neat, a sharp contrast to the building's shoddy exterior. What made the place more comfortable than anything, however, was the sight of Braska and Yuna sitting together at the small table, smiling at each other and talking quietly. They created a small circle of domestic comfort that blanketed the entire room more completely than any décor could; even Auron seemed to relax in their presence, his ever-present scowl smoothing out into a comfortable half-smile. _They're happy together here, that's why it feels like home,_ Rikku realized with a slight twinge of nostalgia. _Making a home for yourself doesn't have anything to do with money or power or wealth. It's just the place where you feel like you belong._ She closed her eyes and unobtrusively slipped herself into a far corner of the room; _it's just because I don't want Yunie to see that much of me,_ she told herself. The truth was that she couldn't watch them anymore, though; father and daughter, sitting together and smiling, both unaware of the future that would tear them apart. You could almost forget about Sin when you see them like that. Almost … but Uncle Braska never forgot about Sin.

"We'll be starting the Pilgrimage tomorrow morning," she heard Braska say. "The temple will be open for Summoner parties, and it'd be good to get an early start."

"There is a problem," Auron said quietly, catching everyone's attention. He pulled the rolled parchment out from his coat and threw towards Braska, who snatched it out of the air. "Kinoc's given us two days to leave after we complete the trials." His shifted his gaze to Rikku and she stared at the ground guiltily.

"Two days?" Braska said faintly, carefully setting the parchment aside without opening it. His eyes were fixed on Yuna, who was obliviously playing with the flaps on his robe. "That little?" The sad lilt to his voice made his daughter lift her head and look at him worriedly.

"Daddy?" she asked in a tiny voice.

He bent over silently and rested his forehead on top of hers, closing his eyes. Then he straightened and gave Yuna a sad smile. "Two days, then," he said firmly, and her eyes widened.

"No," she protested quietly, and Rikku wondered at how old she sounded; she was only seven years old, but Sin didn't make exceptions for children in Spira. "No! You promised a week!" she said more loudly, tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Yuna," Braska said, gently extracting her hands from his chest, which had bunched into tiny fists against the front of his robe. "It's Yevon's will."

"Hmm," Auron grunted, the scorn evident in his voice.

"Hey hey hey," Jecht interrupted suddenly, standing up and cracking his neck. "What's with the long faces? Listen up, kid," he said, approaching Braska and kneeling down, staring a surprised Yuna in the eyes. "You know what I do whenever I need to turn a frown upside-down?"

"… no?" Yuna sniffled, swabbing at her eyes, tears momentarily forgotten by Jecht's pushy demand for her attention.

"Blitz!" he said with a grin. "Tell you what, find me a blitzball and I'll show you some of my secret moves," he promised her with a wink. "You don't wanna miss it, 'cause I'm the best!"

"That's an excellent idea," Braska said, eyeing Jecht gratefully. "Why don't you go get the ball from your room?" he told Yuna, easing her off of his knee.

"But …" she mumbled uncertainly, looking between Braska and Jecht.

"Hey! Didn't I tell you I'm the star player of the Zanarkand Abes?" Jecht boasted, thumbing his chest and puffing up with pride.

"Really?" Yuna repeated, her eyes starting to sparkle with eagerness. "They play blitzball in Zanarkand?"

"All day and all night," Jecht reassured her. "You won't get a chance like this again, kid, so hurry up!"

"Okay!" Yuna yelled, his good cheer catching as she scrambled towards her room. She emerged a few moments later, blitzball in hand, and yelped as Jecht swept her into his arms and lumbered towards the door.

"Hey, I'll bring her back in one piece," Jecht told them as he flipped Yuna upside-down and held her by her legs, causing her to shriek in delight. Braska held the door open for them as they left the small apartment. "Here we go!" Rikku heard him yell theatrically from the hallway, punctuated by another one of Yuna's high laughs.

"My lord, are you sure you trust him?" Auron asked sceptically.

Braska shut the door with an amused expression, shaking his head slowly. "Relax, Auron. He's a Guardian now."

"That's another problem," Rikku heard Auron mutter darkly under his breath.

"You need to learn to be more trusting," Braska scolded the other man mildly. "He has a good heart. Even you must see the way he treated Yuna. Who would've guessed that someone like Jecht had a soft spot for children?"

_Not me,_ Rikku thought to herself. _Probably not Tidus, either. I wonder why he hated his dad so much? Maybe Jecht was just bad with his own kid._ She blinked and looked up when she noticed Braska was standing before her, asking her a question.

"… Bikanel?" she heard him say.

"Huh?" she asked, blushing slightly. "Sorry, come again?"

"He asked if you came from Bikanel Island," Auron called out, clearly irritated by her lack of attention.

"Hey! What do you know about that?" she yelled defensively, glaring at Auron. With Yuna gone from the apartment, he had retracted back into the stoic Yevonite shell she was growing increasingly familiar with, and it made her feel uncomfortable and fiercely protective of what little privacy her people had.

Auron shook his head with a disbelieving grunt and shrugged. "I know more of Braska's life than you can imagine," he said with contempt. "I can assure you that I have no interest in discussing the secrets of the Al Bhed with you or _anyone_ else."

Rikku blushed and quickly looked away; so _he knows where we live already. Oh great … I feel like such an idiot now!_ Fortunately, Braska came to her rescue with an understanding nod.

"No, you're right. I understand that it's quite a sensitive topic for you." He turned slightly and gestured at Auron. "Perhaps you could go check on Yuna for me after all?" he asked politely.

"But, sir -" Auron said, pushing off from the wall in protest.

"Auron, please. We'll be fine," Braska reassured him. Auron's frown deepened, but after a short pause he stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"He really needs to work on controlling his temper," Braska observed with a smile. Rikku allowed him to lead her to the table and took the seat that he pulled out for her. He left to enter one of the back rooms and emerged shortly afterwards with a small box full of medical supplies. "Let's have a look at that shoulder," he told her as he laid out some gauze and tape across the tabletop. Rikku leaned forward and swept her hair away from her back, wincing as she felt him clean off the caked blood that had dried there. "Ah, good," she heard him murmur as he worked. "It's not that bad after all. The potion they gave you must have already dissolved the bullet. The wound just needs to be sealed properly now. Do you mind if I ...?"

"No, go ahead," Rikku said quickly, shutting her eyes. She would never get used to the feeling of being the target of a cast spell; even when they were beneficial, they still brought up memories of Brother's little thunder fiasco. She heard Braska murmur something under his breath, and the ticklish feeling of magic raced through her spine and settled over her wound, making it itch unbearably. After a moment, the sensation dissipated and she sat up, rolling her shoulder experimentally. "All better!" she cheered, turning to give Braska a thankful smile. "Thanks a bunch!"

He nodded at her briefly while clearing off the table, and then hesitated with a guilty expression, box in hand. "I'm sorry about what I said, earlier. I shouldn't have brought up your Home in front of Auron."

"I'm the one who should apologize," Rikku assured him quickly with a sheepish grin.

"After all, you married an Al Bhed, so you're practically one of us now!" Then she bit off her smile and blushed deeply, recalling Auron's brief mention of Braska's exile. _Oh … actually that doesn't happen until after you defeat Sin. Oopsie …_

Braska cleared his throat and looked away, allowing her to recover from her slip gracefully. "That's very kind of you to say," he replied gently, though the pained expression on his face told her that he knew otherwise. "You know …" he continued absently, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. "In many ways, you do remind me of my late wife. She also had a very … optimistic outlook on life." Then he squinted at her more directly and his voice became thoughtful. "But it's more than that … in fact, it's uncanny. You do look very similar to -"

"Oh, heh heh!" Rikku yelped suddenly, startling Braska out of his scrutiny. "Well, you know us Al Bhed! We all look the same!" She fell quiet as a fierce, angry frown marred Braska's normally kind features; he looked more upset than when she had inadvertently insulted him personally just moments earlier.

"I do not want to hear such things again," he told her sternly. "If you don't have any confidence in yourself, then how can I expect you to be able to protect me as a Guardian?"

Rikku bit her lip and hunched over slightly; even without a vast age difference and legendary reputation behind him, she still felt like a small child who was being scolded by her elders. "Geez, it was just a joke," she mumbled, picking at her fingernails nervously.

Braska's hand thumped on the table loudly and made her jump. She looked up and saw that his eyes had grown icy and distant. "Your people are not a joke, Rikkma, no matter what Yevon or anyone else may say. You mustn't ever let anyone convince you of that." He leaned over and trapped her under a direct glare so intense that she forgot to fidget and froze in place. "Things in Spira will never change if you simply accept them."

Rikku bit her lip and blinked; he was so much like Yuna it hurt. She found herself loving him despite the fact that she knew how his journey would end; he was filled with kindness and resolve, and hope enough to carry the burdens of the world on his narrow shoulders without breaking. But just like Yuna, he kept none for himself. "Then what about Summoners?" she blurted out suddenly. "You go on your Pilgrimage, you die, and then Sin comes back! Sin always comes back! How can you just accept that?"

Braska leaned back and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "There's always a chance things will be different this time."

"But what if they're not!" Rikku yelled, clenching her fists angrily.

"Then at least I will have given Yuna a childhood of peace and happiness," he said firmly.

"By dying?" Rikku lashed out, feeling tears start to sting at her own eyes. "You really think that's what will make her happy?"

Braska stiffened abruptly, slamming the cover of the medical kit shut with a loud snap. "I do this for her!" he shouted. Then he relaxed, his shoulders drooping, and shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that, Rikkma. But please … do not try to change my mind about this. I'm set on my course."

The false name brought Rikku back to her senses and she wiped at her eyes furiously.

_What am I thinking? If I stop him from going on his Pilgrimage, then Sin will never be defeated!_ The very thought, however, made her feel tainted; as though she was somehow sacrificing Braska and Yuna's happiness for her own future. _For all of Spira,_ she reminded herself sternly. Still, it didn't change the fact that he was still a sacrifice, a lamb they were all leading to slaughter on Yevon's altar. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.

Braska cleared his throat uncomfortably, then re-seated himself at the table. "I've seen your Home before, you know," he told her cautiously, as though testing the churning waters between them with his words. "Once, I went there as a missionary to spread the word of Yevon to your people. That's how I met Yuna's mother."

Rikku smiled despite herself; she was too young to have witnessed the huge fuss that Braska's arrival had generated, but Keyakku had often regaled her and Brother the stories about it, snatched whispers in the desert whenever they could find themselves away from Cid's watchful eyes. "Yeah, I heard about that," she mumbled with faint smile.

"Ah, so you weren't there when it happened," Braska added with a short chuckle. "That was probably better for you … I think my presence there was fairly unsettling. A lot of people didn't appreciate my efforts to convert them." He tilted his head and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Tell me, though. How did you come to Bevelle in the first place? This isn't exactly the preferred vacation spot of the Al Bhed."

"Actually my coming here was something like an accident," Rikku began. "I did used to live at Home, but that was before ... I, uh, started wandering around Spira, looking for adventure." _Close enough to the truth,_ she thought.

"Well you certainly found it," Braska laughed. "I think it would be best if you stayed with our group until we were safely out of Bevelle. I don't mean to impose on you, however. I imagine you'll want to eventually return to Bikanel, and I'm afraid my own journey won't be passing that way."

"No, I'm exactly where I want to be!" Rikku said quickly, thinking of the temples.

Noticing Braska's surprised observation of her outburst, she laughed brightly and waved her hand through the air. "I mean, I'm not trying to get back Home right now." _Since I guess I'm already sort of there. I wonder what would happen if I met myself? I don't remember ever meeting me before … ugh, better not to find out._ She shook herself out of her daydream when she noticed Braska giving her a pitying look. "What?" she asked him in confusion.

"I see … so you must be an outcast, too," he said sympathetically, planting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Well … I know it must be hard for you, but you're welcome to stay with us for as long as you need," he told her.

Rikku managed to clamp her mouth shut and nod firmly before the giggles escaped from her. _Outcast? Hah, more like part of the reason you're exiled yourself!_ That sobered up her humour enough to give Braska a semi-serious believable nod. "Thanks," she told him again. He smiled in response and inclined his head slightly before stepping away, leaving her alone with her thoughts at the table.


	5. An Evening At Braska's

**- 5: An Evening At Braska's -**

Without Braska's immediate presence to cloud her judgment, Rikku took the opportunity to sit back and consider her options. She planted her chin in her palm, furrowing her brows in thought. _I could really get to like these guys … but I can't interfere with their Pilgrimage. Absolutely positively no, Rikku! Just go along with it until you can talk to Bahamut, that's all._ "I really hope I won't be able to stick around after the first temple," she mumbled to herself under her breath. "Still …" She had to admit it felt nice to finally get to know her own uncle as something more than a legend told through the stone statues in the temples. _I shouldn't feel so guilty about sticking around here. It's the perfect opportunity to sort of make up for what the Al Bhed did to him, right?_ Rikku's head shot out of her hand and a huge smile broke across her face. "Yeah, that's it!" she exclaimed out loud. "Rikku's big chance to clear the family name!" Cheered by her new sense of purpose, she hurriedly dug through her pouch and drew out one of the spheres she had recorded on earlier. "This mission isn't going down without a record," she said confidently, fiddling with the controls.

Braska emerged from the room just then, stopping in surprise when he saw her with the sphere in hand. He had removed his formal helmet and lengthy outer robe, and his long brown hair was bound in a neat braid that hung nearly halfway down his back. He was balancing a bundle of folded linens and pillows in his arms, and carefully set them down on the couch before turning to regard her with an amused grin. "Well, this is interesting," he noted with humour. "Is there a reason you're making a recording of me, besides to prove that men are capable of doing domestic work? Should I be worried? I wouldn't want the destruction of the male reputation to be added to my list of transgressions."

"Of course there's a reason!" Rikku replied gleefully, leaping out of her chair and dancing in place. "If you're gonna defeat Sin, then we should get every minute of this trip down for the record! You're making history you know!" She paused briefly and thought about how many spheres it would actually take to accomplish that mission. "Well, maybe not every minute," she amended. "Now smile and say shoopuf!"

The door burst open as she held the sphere up, and a very disgruntled-looking Auron stomped in. He came up short, his surprised glance landing directly in the sphere, and then recovered with a shake of his head and gave Rikku an exasperated glare. "I thought I told you to stop playing with those things."

"Aw man, you really need to lighten up!" Jecht called out loudly, strolling in behind Auron. He clapped the other man on the back as he passed by; Yuna was following him, her eyes sparkling with adoration.

"That was fun!" she cried, running in front of Auron and tugging at his red coat. Auron grimaced and looked away while Jecht snickered loudly.

"Is there something I should know about?" Braska asked cautiously.

"I saw the …" Yuna's face screwed up in thought. "Sublimely … Ma … ma …."

"Magnificent," Jecht offered helpfully.

"The Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III," Yuna pronounced carefully. "Sir Jecht used it on Sir Auron!"

Braska smiled at his daughter uncertainly, while Rikku covered her mouth and began to snort. Auron simply clenched his teeth and unhooked his sword, slamming it into the corner of the room with more force than necessary.

"That must have hurt," Rikku managed to say, grinning at Auron.

"… and then Sir Auron showed us how to do a Shooting Star!" Yuna continued happily. Obviously, the memory of the day was one she was going to treasure for years to come, to Jecht's obvious pleasure and Auron's more subtle chagrin.

Braska's other eyebrow joined its companion as he looked at Auron. "I suppose we're going to have to buy a new blitzball tomorrow?" he asked dryly, though the grin twitching at his lips softened his hard tone.

"Sorry," Auron ground out, slumping himself sullenly next to his sword.

"I ain't," Jecht replied, clasping his hands behind his head with a smug smile.

"Do it again, Sir Jecht!" Yuna said eagerly, clapping her hands together with a pleading expression on her face.

"Oh no, I think that's enough excitement for one day, young lady," Braska cut in hastily before Auron could insert a scathing retort to Jecht. "Time for you to go to bed."

"No!" Yuna cried in protest, shaking her head and balling her fists together under her chin. "I don't wanna go, not yet!"

"C'mon, kid," Jecht said with an encouraging smile, standing over her. "You should listen to your old man. Whaddaya say I tuck you in? Will you go peacefully then?"

The pout left Yuna's face, and she gave Jecht a firm nod. "Okay," she said, reaching out and grabbing Jecht's hand. "I'll show you Mr. Moogle!" she explained happily as she pulled him towards her room.

Rikku giggled and turned the sphere back towards Braska, who was looking after the two with a tender expression. "I think you might have finally found a rival for Yuna's affections, Auron," Braska noted, his lips quirking.

"Hmm," Auron said, the severe expression on his face softening slightly. Then the smirk returned. "Children always prefer the company of one another over adults."

Braska chuckled softly, then turned towards Rikku and nodded. "Yes … you had a wonderful idea, Rikkma," he told her. "Since you seem to be familiar with spheres already, would you mind if I put you in charge of making the recordings? We can buy a few more for our supplies tomorrow before we visit the temple."

"For real?" Rikku asked, her smile growing wider. "Yeah!" she cheered when Braska nodded at her, holding her sphere up in the air and hopping from one foot to the other. "You can count on me!"

"This is not a good idea!" Auron cut in, scowling at both of them. "My lord, making sphere recordings is a waste of both time and money! We should be concentrating on things that are more important."

Braska gave Auron a level look. "Nothing is more important to me than Yuna," he said quietly. That silenced the other man effectively, though it also brought Rikku plummeting out of her happy-dance and back into reality with a crash.

"Beautiful girl you got, Braska!" Jecht's loud emergence from Yuna's room broke through the sombre atmosphere suddenly; he was wearing a goofy grin on his face which quickly dropped into a scowl when he noticed the tension in the room. "Whoa, somebody die while I wasn't lookin'?" he asked, scratching his head.

Braska smiled and shook his head at Jecht. "Not yet."

"That isn't funny," Rikku said lowly, collapsing back into her chair and fiddling with the sphere in her hands.

"Sheesh, you all need to stop hangin' around Auron so much," Jecht complained, stretching his arms over his head and yawning loudly. "Ah … free at last! You got somethin' to eat around here?" he added curiously, wandering towards the kitchen.

"Braska," Auron said quietly, nodding his head towards Jecht. "He still doesn't understand the nature of our task."

"What's to understand?" Jecht asked curelessly. "We go to Zanarkand, me 'n Auron keep you from getting pounded by whatever we meet along the way, and Blondie over there cheers us on from the sidelines. Right?"

"What!" Rikku said, depression once again vanishing in a cloud of irritation at Jecht's overbearing male ego. "Listen here, you big lug -"

Braska cleared his throat and faced the other man solemnly. "Now, Jecht …" he began diplomatically, cutting Rikku off. "I am a Summoner, and you are my Guardian. As such, I am in your hands until we reach Zanarkand."

"Right, right," Jecht said with boredom, ignoring Braska. "So, what's a summer-ner, anyway?" he asked after a moment.

The grinding of Auron's teeth was audible even over Braska's helpless sigh. Rikku barely managed to shut down the sphere before the wild gasps of laughter came bubbling from her throat. _He's more clueless than Tidus! Like father like son, I guess. Tidus is just like Jecht! And Braska is just like Yuna … and Auron is Auron and Rikkma is Rikku! I wonder if Kimahri, Wakka or Lulu are feeling left out._ Rikku dropped her head into her arms at the table and laughed even more loudly, even after the others had stopped and were staring at her.

"We set her off again," Jecht mumbled, and Rikku took a few deep, calming breaths to silence herself, hiccupping and brushing away the tears that were streaming down her face. Braska murmured a quiet reply that she didn't quite hear, and then Auron grunted loudly in disagreement.

"We know nothing about her," she heard him say. "She shouldn't have been made a Guardian."

"Hey, she knows I'm from Zanarkand," Jecht answered him irritably. "That's good enough for me."

"And why shouldn't it be?" Auron responded angrily. "You can't possibly have come from Zanarkand. It's obvious that you two are working together, the only mystery is what you hope to accomplish with your little deception."

"That ain't true!" Jecht said, his voice rising slightly. "I didn't even know that chick's name until an hour ago!"

"But you said she knew yours," Auron replied coolly.

"All the fans know my name," Jecht replied confidently.

Auron only shook his head in disbelief. "Do you even listen to yourself?" he asked.

Rikku slammed her hands on the table and stood up, annoyance bubbling over her features. "Hey! Stop talking about me like I can't hear you!" she yelled, glaring at them. "And for the last time, I'm not one of your fans, Jecht! Honestly, I don't even like blitzball all that much!"

Jecht crossed his arms and redirected his glare from Auron to Rikku. "What the hell's your problem, anyway?" he growled. "Here I am, stickin' out my own neck for you and this is the thanks I get?"

Rikku planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. "You wanna know what my problem is? My problem is you!" _Because you're being nice. And Yunie likes you. And you're sticking up for me even though you don't know who I am. And I KILLED YOU DAMN IT!_ "I don't need your help!" she said shrilly.

Jecht's face registered surprise at her unexpected outburst before it dropped into a cold scowl; it looked almost foreign on his usually relaxed features. "Crazy little ingrate," he spat out, crossing his arms. "I get the message! Fight your own damn battles from now on, kid."

"I'm not a child!" Rikku replied instantly.

"You sure act like a cry baby sometimes," Jecht growled at her. "Shit, I swear you whine even more than my own kid!"

"Maybe Tidus wouldn't cry so much if you hadn't left him behind in Zanarkand!" Rikku yelled back.

Jecht froze, his face growing ashen underneath the dark tan of his skin.

_Oops,_ Rikku thought, cringing. Before she knew it he was towering over her, his expression thunderous and his eyes dark with fury. Rikku had never really seen Jecht angry before; now he was, angrier than she had ever seen even Auron get, and his wrath was directed completely towards her. Behind the anger, however, was a raw, aching pain; with a start Rikku realized how much Jecht actually missed his home and his family. With his gruff, easy-going exterior, it was hard to imagine he could feel seriously about anything. She had underestimated him, however, and realized her mistake too late.

"It wasn't my choice to leave my boy," Jecht hissed at her dangerously.

Rikku swallowed and leaned back nervously. _I … guess he really does care about Tidus. Now if only I would live to tell someone about it!_ A hand descended on Jecht's shoulder and carefully pulled him away from her; Braska stepped between them and gave the blitzball player an understanding smile.

"When I saw you with Yuna, I thought you might have a child of your own," he said conversationally, his soothing voice cutting through the tension as though he wasn't even aware it was there. "You're very good with children."

A guilty look crossed over Jecht's face, and he turned away from Braska. "Yeah, well … not all of 'em," he muttered under his breath shamefully.

Braska gave him another pat on the shoulder and released him before facing Auron. "I think this proves that they aren't involved in some grand scheme together," he said pointedly.

"Or that they're good actors," Auron replied sarcastically.

Jecht's obvious fuming receded slightly at Auron's words and looked over his shoulder at Rikku. "You ain't from Zanarkand too, are you?" he asked her suspiciously.

"Huh?" Rikku said weakly, still trying to recover from her near-death experience. "No way!" she added quickly. "I already told you, I know all about it from spheres."

"Spheres, huh …" Jecht mumbled under his breath, his eyes narrowing. Rikku felt the sweat beading on her forehead as he gave her an unusually calculating glance. Tiny alarm klaxons began to sound in her mind as she realized her mistake. _Tidus! I called his son Tidus!_ She held her breath, her fingers and toes going numb with the fear that he would somehow expose her deception and get her booted from Braska's party before their journey even began, before she had the chance to ply the fayth for answers to her own questions.

"Whatever," Jecht finally said, turning his back on her. Somehow Rikku knew he wasn't going to drop his suspicions quite that easily, but she was thankful that he seemed content to let them remain just that in front of the other two men.

"It's been a long day for all of us," Braska said quietly. "I think it would be best to continue this discussion tomorrow morning." He picked up a pillow and a blanket and pushed them into Rikku's arms. "You can sleep in Yuna's room tonight, Rikkma. I'm sure she won't mind the company."

"Thanks," Rikku muttered with a blush, beating a hasty retreat from the room. Once again, she was thankful for Braska's timely intervention; it seemed he spent most of his time playing the peacemaker between their explosive group dynamics. There was always bound to be tension between herself and Auron even if he wouldn't have been acting like a complete Yevonite; her continuing attraction to him despite his dour nature seemed to ensure that. But she had been surprised by how much she was affected by Jecht's disapproval. _I don't even know the guy that well! So … why do I feel so bad about hurting his feelings like that?_ With an internal sigh, she realized she knew perfectly well why she was feeling guilty. Because he didn't deserve that last dig. "Guess it's going to be Rikku's Big Apology Day tomorrow," she muttered to herself, entering Yuna's bedroom.

Rikku shut the door behind herself quietly, letting her eyes adjust to the sudden darkness. The moon was shining brightly outside, and the silvery light that spilled through the curtains illuminated the room with an ethereal glow. Yuna was already fast asleep, cradled by pillows and moonlight. She looked angelic and otherworldly, her pale skin shining white against the stark darkness of the night; if it hadn't been for the ratty stuffed moogle that was securely tucked underneath her chin, Rikku might have mistaken her cousin for a fayth.

"Yunie," Rikku whispered softly, creeping to the young girl's bedside and studying her angelic face. "You're gonna grow up to do some really great things, you know, greater than you ever dreamed about." Sighing, she leaned over and brushed a stray lock of hair away from Yuna's forehead, and the little girl turned away and mumbled softly to herself. "Sorry," Rikku murmured, biting her lip and blinking away another unexpected tear. _Gotta stop doing that, Rikku. The guys are ready to haul you off to the nuthouse as it is already!_ "Just think of the now," she told herself sternly, tiptoeing away from Yuna's bed and carefully spreading her own blanket over the floor.

After removing her boots and unhooking her twin daggers, stashed securely away from Yuna's curious reach, Rikku settled herself on the blanket and began to sort through her remaining equipment. "Those priests took my best stuff," she muttered under her breath in disgust. In a way, she was thankful that she had brought only her daggers with her on her initial trip to the Farplane; she was sure the temple would have been more than eager to keep a tight grip on her Godhand had they come into possession of it. Much more upsetting to her was the loss of her bracelets, however. She had spent hours tooling them together; the protections she had woven into the small bangles had been miles better than anything she had ever managed to work into her old targes. _Their technicians are probably trying to figure out how I made those right now. Great, way to give Yevon a helping hand there, Rikku!_ she chastised herself angrily. "Well, not like it matters anyway. I guess I can always make something new. No, not just something new, I'll make something better. So there!"

The sparse contents of her pockets were all too quickly laid out across the blanket, and Rikku let out another heavy sigh. There were the two spheres she had recently recorded, a key chain she had stolen from Paine's vest, one of Yuna's colourful, hand-woven cloth-and-bead hair ties and a few pieces of lint. Not even a single potion remained from her former supplies. _Looks like I'm starting from scratch again. Well, not entirely …_

Brightening considerably, she extracted the three remaining dresspheres from her belt and inspected them carefully. They seemed to have survived the trip no worse for the wear, emitting their usual faint blue glow. Rikku couldn't stop the relieved smile from stretching across her face as she picked up one and gave it a small kiss. Then she studied the other two spheres and her mouth dropped open into a disappointed pout. "Crap, I overwrote my lady luck sphere! And I really liked that one too!" She held her breath and fell silent as Yuna mumbled and turned in her bed, then leaned forward and resumed her inspection much more quietly.

_Lenne's sphere is okay, at least … and my alchemist sphere is still good too. Shoot … if only I had more hair!_ "Samurai, songstress and alchemist," Rikku whispered to herself. It wasn't exactly the ideal setup she would have chosen to have a face-off with Sin; in fact, it wasn't even an ideal setup for her normal sphere-hunting forays. "Better than nothing, I guess."

It was actually a whole lot better than nothing; the power available through Shinra's grid technology was a step beyond anything Yuna's party had managed to gather or learn on their own during the course of their Pilgrimage. That wasn't to say that garment grids were a magical cure-all that could turn any rube into a powerful warrior, no matter what impression Leblanc might have given. Like almost anything that had to do with sphere technology, they worked by tapping into a person's memories and emotions. Without the strong will necessary to harness full control of the spheres, the grids were simply useless trinkets, amusing but unreliable show-costumes. In that sense, summoning the hidden powers out of a dressphere was slightly similar to summoning an aeon, albeit on a much smaller scale. With the exception of the Songstress dressphere, the costumes usually didn't talk back or exert their own personalities when called out. It was also no wonder that Yuna had been the most skilled at using them in their entire group.

Rikku picked up the first sphere and examined it closely, wondering how grid technology might have affected the journeys of the countless other Summoners before Yuna.

Ultimately not very much, she realized; grids only boosted the capabilities of an individual, and it took more than just one person to beat the terrible power that was Sin. She smiled at the alchemist sphere and carefully tucked it back into her grid. Like the thief sphere, it was something Rikku had created herself. She had poured her most precious memories into it - thoughts of Home, of the friends and relatives she had lost there, even of her brother Keyakku; she treasured the result it had produced. It was a living, breathing reminder of her people, one she wore as easily as a second skin, and neither Yuna nor Paine had objected when she opted to keep it for herself.

The songstress sphere, on the other hand, had belonged without question to Yuna. Or, more accurately, it had belonged to Lenne, and Yuna had inherited its power. After Tidus returned, however, Yuna willingly gave it up, wanting to leave behind all traces of the hardship and suffering of her previous adventures and create a fresh beginning for herself in Besaid. Paine had threatened Yuna with bodily harm at the mere thought of being offered the outlandish sphere, and so it had happily landed in Rikku's possession. Now, as Rikku stole a glance over her shoulder at the younger, sleeping Yuna, she was glad to have it; it might not have been her memories that powered the sphere, but it was one of the only definite connections to her cousin that she had left with her. She slotted it into the grid and moved on to the last remaining sphere.

The samurai sphere. The one she had also created by herself, to everyone's surprise. Rikku was no warrior; discretion wasn't only the better part of valour in Rikku's world, but often the preferred first choice. And yet the sphere she had crafted was contrary to every belief she thought she held true. It had created a costume built on honour and strength, filled with memories of whispered promises and binding vows. It was a painful outfit for her to wear, but one she treasured above all others. The few times she had let her team mates try it out, they had complained that it felt too "heavy" to be of any practical use. For Rikku, it was a burden she carried willingly; she knew that the heaviness came from her sorrow, for things that never were and could never be.

_Until now,_ Rikku reminded herself, thinking of the younger Auron, living and breathing and separated from her only by one thin wall in Braska's tiny apartment. The sphere flickered and glowed in her palm, and Rikku knew it was changing; she knew because her memories of Auron were changing with it. She carefully placed it into the grid, smiling to herself. It was still a painful dressphere; that would never go away, for suffering was what had made them into the people that they were. But she also knew it would not be quite so heavy to wear anymore, not as long as this Auron stood and breathed next to her.

"If I can even wear when he's around," Rikku mumbled. _He'll take one look at me and know something's up for sure …_ She shook her head and pushed it aside as a problem to be dealt with for later. "Maybe with all the brawn in this party I won't need to use it at all," she comforted herself, toying with the grid. Even without the dresspheres, the grid would in theory keep her feeling at least mildly useful; it wasn't everyone who could manage to throw around a flare spell after all. Rikku had tried her best to learn it on her own from Lulu, but after several failed attempts and more than a few painful accidents, both had given up on the cause as hopeless. Rikku trailed over the gate that would activate the flare magic with her fingertip and wondered where Lulu was now; it was strange, trying to imagine the sophisticated black mage as a girl even younger than herself. She wondered if Lulu was already journeying with Father Zuke, or even Lady Ginnem - if they might meet on the road to Zanarkand, and what she could say to her mentor and secret idol if they crossed paths. "I could use some of your cool right now, Lulu," Rikku mumbled to herself, tracing over the runic patterns on the stone plate apprehensively.

A chill shook Rikku as she fingered the grid, and gathering her courage together, she quickly snapped it off. It fell into her hands, and her breath left her in a loud whoosh. The supplemental magic boost seeped out of her body, leaving her feeling tired and deflated.

Then she frowned and held the grid up for inspection in the moonlight. "That didn't feel any different than normal," she mused. _What happened earlier, anyway? Why did it hurt so much? It felt like I was being eaten from the inside out! Eaten … like my magic was being eaten!_ Panic struck Rikku, and she hastily put away the grid and held her hands in front of her, whispering a few desperate phrases. To her relief, a tiny flicker of flame danced to life in her cupped palms; proof that she could still cast her minor spells even without the grid. She whispered a few more words and tried to strengthen the flame; it grew slightly brighter, but after a few moments Rikku allowed it to flicker and die out. _Nope … I still can't even cast a firaga, I know it._ She sagged over, mollified; limited as her own magic was, Rikku prided herself on the little she had.

"Well, if it didn't drain me, and it didn't boost me, what the heck happened?" she mumbled, eying the grid nervously. Then, taking a deep breath, she picked it up and strapped it back around her waist. A thrum of energy, the tingly feeling that ticked all the way through her body from the top of her head to the tips of her toes; it was the usual response she had to equipping any magic grid. Nothing was out of the ordinary; no hint of the strange, phantom pain that had wracked her body the first time even registered. Rikku was relieved that it seemed to be working properly again, though she was still uneasy about her initial reaction to the grid. She snuck another glance at Yuna and decided to keep the plate equipped around her waist; there was no telling if anyone else would have a similar reaction to hers if they wore it, and Rikku didn't want risk inadvertently causing her cousin any unnecessary pain.

_Except for the fact that I'm guiding her own father to his death. It's just the little things, right?_

Rikku flopped back against the blankets and turned her head to watch Yuna with troubled eyes. Sleep, as tired as she was, didn't come to her for a long time.


	6. Haute Couture

**- 6: Haute Couture -**

The pleasant heat of sunlight warming her cheek half-roused Rikku from her slumber. She sighed and tried to burrow back into her blankets, but the painful crick in her back managed to complete the job of waking her up.

"Oww," Rikku mumbled, rubbing her neck and sitting up slowly. "Either Brother's been hiding rocks in my bed or I've been camping out again …" She opened her eyes and blinked once, then twice, and her good mood evaporated. "Oh poop," she sighed, taking in her surroundings. _So it wasn't a dream after all._

Yuna's bed was already neatly made, and the little girl was nowhere to be found. The curtains had been drawn back, and the rising sun pooled light on the floor around Rikku's makeshift pile of blankets. Rikku blinked and rubbed her eyes again, and then gasped. "Oh my gosh, it's so late! Auron's gonna kill me!" He had always been a stickler for strict schedules during Yuna's Pilgrimage, and she remembered his early-morning lectures to her and Tidus all too well. Scrambling out of the bed, she hurriedly grabbed her daggers and attempted to comb her fingers through her messy hair before giving up. She snatched her shoes off the floor and through a miracle of dexterity managed to open the door while sliding a foot into her boot at the same time. Unfortunately, the miracle was short lived and resulted in Rikku hop-crashing into the wall of the outside hallway before falling gracelessly onto her butt. "Ouchie …" she hissed, peeking into the living room to see if anyone had witnessed her moment of clumsiness.

"I can't believe you're a Guardian." Auron's voice was full of scorn and Rikku winced in dismay. Then she relaxed as she heard Jecht respond, realizing that the comment wasn't directed towards her; in fact, her presence hadn't even been detected yet. Pushing herself to her knees, she crawled forward cautiously and spied on the two arguing men.

"Well excuuuse me," the blitzball player said gruffly. "So we don't have any Summoners in Zanarkand. Big deal!"

Auron was pacing in front of Jecht angrily, looking even grumpier than Lulu before her morning cup of coffee. "Zanarkand is the holy city of Summoners. You do realize you're destroying any credibility you have every time you open your mouth."

"I don't see why you're gettin' so worked up over this. So we guard Braska long enough for him to beat down this Sin thing! Seems pretty simple to me. The way you talk, you make it sound like somebody's gonna die!"

Auron's silence was telling, but apparently Jecht wasn't that bright, at least not in the morning. Rikku also noticed that for all his fervour, Auron couldn't be bothered to explain the actual purpose of Braska's Pilgrimage to Jecht. Or perhaps he simply couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.

"Stop worryin' about it already," Jecht added with a loud laugh. "Now that I'm playin' on your team, this Pilgrimage is gonna be a breeze!"

"How very reassuring," Auron deadpanned. Then he turned and looked at the tuft of yellow hair that was peeking out over the corner of the wall. "Glad that you finally decided to join us," he said to Rikku, who laughed nervously and scrambled to her feet.

"Umm … good morning!" Rikku said cheerfully, giving the two men a happy wave. "Where's Braska and Yunie?"

"Yuna," Auron started, emphasizing her proper name pointedly, "is being walked to school by her father. That is the only reason you've been allowed to sleep in today."

"Look out, Auron's a real grouch in the mornin'," Jecht warned her.

"Yeah, I know," Rikku replied, rolling her eyes. Then she coughed delicately. "Uh, I mean, it was pretty obvious, waking up to hear you two argue like that."

"Jecht. We're not finished with this conversation yet. However there are things I must discuss with Rikkma first."

Jecht smirked at Auron and stood up, stretching his arms. "Fine, whatever." He turned to Rikku and tapped her on the shoulder. "Tag, you're it."

"Very funny, Jecht." Auron strode past them and stood in front of Yuna's bedroom door, looking at Rikku expectantly. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah, yeah, hold your chocobos," Rikku said irritably, grabbing an apple out of the bowl on the table and biting into it. She walked towards the room slowly, unwilling to start her day with whatever reprimand she was sure Auron had in store for her.

"Better be good," Jecht called after her. "I don't think Braska would be too happy to come home and find you two doin' the nasty in his kid's room."

Rikku choked on her bite and flushed, then whirled around and sent the half-eaten fruit flying through the air. To her satisfaction, it hit Jecht directly between the eyes with a wet smack and made him double over with a yell of pain. "Screw the apology," she muttered under her breath as she stomped past Auron.

"Hmm," Auron grunted in amusement as he stepped in behind her and shut the door. "So you can make yourself useful sometimes."

"Always nice to see you too, Auron," Rikku grumbled. She felt more than saw Auron's disapproving glare as he looked over the room, and with an annoyed sigh began to gather the wrinkled bed sheets off of the floor and fold them neatly. "So what do you really want, mom?" she asked him dryly.

"We need to talk."

"We are talking," Rikku answered smartly, waving the sheet she was holding through the air with a loud snap.

Auron sighed and leaned against the door. "I meant about your reasons for becoming Braska's Guardian."

Rikku slowed down, straightening the creases out of the folded sheet in her hands absently. "You still don't trust me," she observed, surprised to find that it hurt. The Auron she had known only had to look into her eyes and ask her once.

"You are Al Bhed." He formed the sentence hesitantly, as though he was trying not to be insulting.

_But he still said it,_ Rikku reminded herself strictly, carefully laying the sheet and pillow on Yuna's bed. "And?" she asked impatiently, forcing herself not to face him. If he wanted to be dense, she wasn't planning on making it any easier for him.

Auron sighed, and she could almost hear his patience meter running out of gil. "Surely you don't think your people will turn a blind eye to this Pilgrimage. Already they note it because of Braska's presence alone. You must understand what this will mean for you."

Rikku blinked and stared at the wall of Yuna's room in surprise. "W-what?" she asked, wondering if she heard his question correctly.

"You are Al Bhed!" Auron repeated with a note of frustration.

She turned around this time, not trying to hide the shock on her face. "Well, yeah. So I won't be able to go back to them after this." It was easy for her to say, since Rikku knew she wouldn't have been able to return to her people in this time in any case; Auron, however, didn't know that. The bigger mystery was why he even brought it up. She had been expecting him to lecture her on duty, responsibility and trust; she hadn't been expecting him to ask about the effects making a Pilgrimage would have on her personal life. "Why's that a problem?" she asked cautiously.

"… What would you do, once this Pilgrimage is over?"

Rikku let herself fall onto Yuna's bed, slumping over and leaning her elbows on her knees. "That's a pretty big assumption, you know," Rikku said lightly, though her face was serious. "How do you know any of us will still be around after Zanarkand?"

Auron frowned and opened his mouth. "Lord Braska -"

"Braska's gonna defeat Sin," Rikku said without hesitation, looking up and pinning Auron with a knowing look. "If you didn't believe it too, you wouldn't be his Guardian."

He smiled faintly and looked down, acknowledging her words with his silence. "For someone who barely knows him, you place a lot of faith in Braska."

"He has that effect on people," Rikku said absently, dropping her chin into her hand with a sigh.

Auron shifted slightly, and Rikku's eyebrows raised a millimetre. _Did I just make Auron squirm?_ A smile began to tickle at the corner of her mouth; this morning lecture was going better than she could have hoped.

"While I find your dedication to be …" he hesitated, frowning to himself. "… admirable, I still don't see where it is coming from." Auron looked up and studied her coolly. "I don't understand you. Therefore, I can't trust you."

"But you trust Jecht?" Rikku asked him quietly.

Auron snorted and shook his head. "I wouldn't go so far as to say I trust him. Jecht, however, is transparent. You are not."

"You have worse vision with two eyes than you do with one," Rikku muttered.

"What?" Auron gave her a strange look, and Rikku shrugged at him.

"Nothing!" she chirped. "Listen, Auron … I can't tell you why I want to do this. I can't even tell you that I'll stick around for the entire Pilgrimage," she said honestly. "I can promise you that while I'm here, though, I'll do everything I can to keep Braska safe from harm. I know what the code of the Guardian means. _Protect the Summoner even at the cost of one's own life._ I won't mess it up."

Auron fell silent, but Rikku knew he still wasn't convinced. She decided to try an old favourite. "I've decided to be Braska's guardian, and that's all I want." Rikku held her breath.

"Nothing for yourself, then?" Auron asked her dryly. "You're willing to throw your lot in with us and forget the rest of the world while you're at it? A noble sacrifice without any ulterior motivations, I'm sure," he said shrewdly. "That's hardly a convincing reason for us to trust you."

Rikku's face dropped and she kicked at the floor angrily. "But it should be enough," she muttered quietly. She glanced at Auron and saw he was still leaning against the door, frowning. She realized he was trying to understand her, at least somewhat; had he been completely disinterested in making an effort, he would have simply left the room. Still, he was rigid in his beliefs, and could only bend so far. Destroying his faith in Yevon would have helped immensely, but Rikku didn't want to be the one to break him. This Auron was just as driven as the one she knew, but he was still missing something … the bitter cynicism, but also the tolerant understanding that had grown from it. This young, unblemished Auron was somehow much more fragile than the one she knew; if he was to learn that his faith was built on a lie, she suspected he would shatter.

_I'm just as much of a coward as he is,_ she realized. _He doesn't want to tell Jecht about Sin, and I can't tell him about Yevon._ For some reason, the knowledge brought her a strange sense of comfort; he wasn't yet a legendary Guardian, all knowing and unapproachable; he was simply a man trying to protect his friend. _Maybe … I should try trusting him first._

"I … I can't go back," she told him haltingly. Well, it was the truth, in a way. "I can't go back to the Al Bhed right now, and I don't want to, either." She felt Auron looking at her and picked at her nails nervously. "I don't actually know if I'll ever be able to go back," she admitted reluctantly. "So I've been searching for something to believe in - something to live for. I've been looking for my own story." Also the truth. "And then I found Braska, and I'm just sort of thinking … maybe this is it, you know? Maybe this is what I've been looking for." She swallowed and cursed silently for betraying herself not once, but twice. _I don't believe in sacrificing Summoners! But … but …_ "… I believe in him. I believe in Braska. That's why."

Auron seemed to consider her words, finally shaking his head with a quiet sigh. "Fine. I suppose you can stay, but I'll need to know what skills you can bring to the party."

_Hey, he's letting me stay. He's really letting me stay!_ A huge smile broke over Rikku's face and she leapt off of the bed and began to dance happily. "You already know I'm a thief!" Rikku said, waving her hand in the air. "If you need some items, then I'm your gal!"

"Hmm," Auron replied, amused by her antics. "I suppose that could be useful. So long as you only steal from fiends," he added more strictly, causing Rikku to pout. "Can you actually fight with those?" he asked, inclining his head slightly towards her crossed daggers.

"Weeeell," Rikku said, scratching her chin with a nervous smile. In truth, she _could_ fight with them, though in a fair battle she still preferred her fighting claw. Then again, since Shinra had invented the garment grid, Rikku had never bothered to fight any of her battles fairly. "I can take care of myself," she assured Auron. "You guys won't have to worry about guarding me on top of Braska." Seeing the sceptical expression on his face, Rikku rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I can cast, alright? I'm sorta good with black magic." She bit her lip and smiled; that lie was almost as big as Lulu's chest. Auron seemed to buy it, however, looking relieved.

"Good. Dedication is fine, but I still wouldn't allow Braska to bring along dead weight on something as serious as a Pilgrimage." He reached out to open the door and stopped when he heard Rikku titter dangerously. Looking over his shoulder, he scowled at her. "What are you laughing about now?"

"Dead weight!" she snorted, pointing at him. Finally bringing her breath under control, she smirked and brushed past Auron, trying to wipe the smile off of her face. "You wouldn't understand," she answered lightly.

He shut the door behind him, and Rikku smirked when she heard him grumbling to himself. "… is a bad idea …" he was saying. "Rikkma," he said more loudly. "Just stay away from any more fighting than absolutely necessary."

"Ohh! That's so sweet, Auron!" Rikku teased, batting her eyelashes at him. "I didn't know you cared so much about me!"

"I don't," Auron answered curtly, glaring at her. "I just think it's a bad idea to combine magic usage with mental infirmity."

Rikku stuck her tongue out at him and dashed into the living room. She pulled up short as she saw Braska there, fully bedecked in his usual travelling outfit and arguing with Jecht. "Hey, you can start the party now, Rikku … ma's here!" she greeted them, bouncing with excitement.

Braska looked inquiringly at her. "Rikkuma?" he repeated with a faint grin.

"Sowwy. I bwit my wip," Rikku fudged. Then she pulled her lower lip out and widened her eyes comically. "Wanna swee?"

"No thanks," Braska said quickly, laughing at her. "I was told Auron pulled you aside for one of his lectures. I didn't think it was normal for people to come out of those with smiles on their faces."

Jecht smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. "Must've been one helluva lecture," he grinned. "Maybe he's the one who bit your lip, eh?"

"Do you want another apple surprise?" Rikku answered hotly, feeling her face heat up with an angry blush.

"Well, will you look at that," Jecht replied, his smirk growing wider. "Now you two really do match."

Rikku's mouth dropped open as she glanced down at her chest. _I hate your genes, Pops,_ she thought miserably, noticing just how far the red of her blush carried.

"Jecht." Auron was, thankfully, not looking at her; he seemed to be focusing his _Rikku Look_ completely onto Jecht this time. "The Pilgrimage hasn't even begun yet. Would you at least make an effort to be less irritating." The tone that he stated it in was clearly not a request.

"I call 'em like I see 'em," Jecht replied easily, unruffled by Auron's threat. He gave Rikku a sly grin. "And there sure is plenty to see right now."

"Ohh!" Rikku yelled at him, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring. "You're such a pervert!"

"Actually," Braska interrupted with a nervous cough. "About your choice of attire, Rikkma …"

The blush disappeared quickly under Rikku's injured pride. Uncle or not, no one criticized her fashion sense. "What's wrong with it, huh?" she asked cheekily, planting her hands on her hips.

"Why, nothing of course!" Braska said too quickly, all smiles. "I personally am a fan of Al Bhed fashion. It's very … unique," he added uneasily. Rikku only glared at him, not buying his explanation.

"Hey, there ain't nothin' wrong with showin' a little skin," Jecht replied, perfectly serious. Not that he was one to talk, considering that he preferred to travel in nothing but his swimming trunks. Then again, Rikku wasn't thrilled to have someone like Jecht backing up her side of the argument.

"Yes, you're right, we should be free to wear whatever we deem is appropriate," Braska said soothingly. His words didn't stop him from reaching for the bundles that were sitting on the table and offering one to Rikku and the other to Jecht. "However, since we are inside of Bevelle and planning to visit the temple later today, I thought it might be best if we tried to dress a bit more … inconspicuously."

Jecht had already torn open his bundle and unrolled it, and was eyeing the heavy priest's cloak with a look of utter disbelief. "No way in hell," he said flatly, glaring at Braska as he threw the offending cloth onto the floor. "How are people supposed to see my muscles when I'm wearin' this potato sack?"

"That would be the point," Auron cut in, snatching the robe off of the ground and throwing it into Jecht's face with a look of disgust. "Lord Braska is loaning you his personal effects for your own safety. Show a little gratitude!" he ground out.

"Fine," Jecht mumbled under his breath. "I ain't gonna spend the rest of this trip lookin' like an Auron clone, though," he swore as he shrugged the long red robe over his massive shoulders.

Rikku hastily undid her own package and let out a squeal of delight at the outfit that came tumbling out. "This isn't Bevelle fashion!" she said excitedly, shaking out the tasselled vest and short miniskirt. _Leather… feathers... buckles… bright dye… work gloves… and lots and lots of pouches!_ "This is Al Bhed!" she exclaimed, looking up at Braska in surprise.

"It was my wife's …" he said carefully. "I hope you don't mind, but I thought it might be more comfortable for you to have something familiar, and you looked about the same size."

"You let your wife dress in that? It doesn't cover much more than what she's wearin' right now!" Jecht complained.

"Shut up, Jecht," Rikku replied automatically, brushing her fingers across the costume reverently. _This once belonged to my aunt,_ she was thinking in awe. She had never had the chance to get to know the woman personally, but it didn't change the fact that she was still family.

"You don't have to wear it if you don't like it," Braska told her, looking slightly embarrassed.

"What? Oh! No! Nononono!" Rikku said quickly, whipping her head around rapidly. "I love it! It's perfect! Thank you so much!" she said hastily, clutching the outfit to her chest and bowing to Braska awkwardly. "I'll go try it on right now!" She quickly ran back into Yuna's room, slamming the door behind her and peeling off her skimpy yellow skirt and puffed sleeves. Slipping into her aunt's old travelling outfit - she recognized it as such because of the plethora of pouches and loops that had been sewn into the clothing - took slightly longer due to the amount of buckles and straps she had to secure. When she was done, she twirled around and looked at herself in the mirror, smiling happily. The outfit was still scandalous compared to the ultra-conservative trends of the religious majority in Bevelle. It covered a good deal more than her yellow bikini, however, and the thick leather padding around her shoulders and elbows even offered a small measure of protection for the upcoming journey. It was just practical enough for a Pilgrimage, and yet still free enough for her to feel like a true Al Bhed. "Perfect," she sighed, hopping around in a little victory dance as she snapped the belt holding her garment grid around her waist. Then with a huge smile, she threw open the door and raced into the hallway, eager to thank Braska for his unexpected gift.

When she barrelled into the common room, Jecht turned and smiled, giving her a thumbs-up. "Lookin' good!" he said to her with a grin. Braska and Auron, however, both froze.

Rikku bit her lip and glanced down at herself self-consciously before looking back up at her other two companions. "Umm … no good?" she asked uncertainly, feeling uncomfortable with their prolonged silence.

"…Raenn," Braska mumbled, staring at her in shock. Then he closed his eyes and shook his head, a pained smile crossing his face. "Remarkable," he uttered softly. "You look so very much like her." He opened his eyes and gave Rikku a weak smile. "I'm sorry, how rude of me. It does look wonderful on you … Rikkma."

Rikku fell quiet, suddenly embarrassed by her new clothing. She snuck a stealthy glance at Auron, who was studying her with a hard stare. "What?" she asked him cheekily, leaning on her hip cockily and returning his glare.

"She does look like Raenn," Auron noted offhandedly. "However she only need open her mouth and you can hear the difference."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rikku asked, rubbing her chin.

"Raenn had manners," Auron said, finally looking away and causing Rikku to fume angrily.

"You're right in a way," Braska agreed as he stood from the table. "I think she sounds more like Cid."

Rikku fell silent immediately, twitching nervously. _What do I do? Should I say anything at all? Ohh … stupid Auron! Stupid Braska! Stupid costume!_ It was taking enough concentration just to keep her hands from flying to her head and shaking it, and she jumped in surprise as she realized Braska was still speaking, and more importantly to her.

"… too flashy for the priests," he was saying. "I think we'll be able to find you something suitable once we reach the marketplace, though."

Still nervous about Braska's sharp observation, Rikku felt her stomach flip-flop at the thought of any sort of delay in her attempt to contact the fayth. "Waitasecond, what? I thought we were going to the temple this morning!" Rikku complained.

"Yes, we are, but we still need to buy those spheres," Braska reminded her. "And more importantly, Jecht needs a weapon."

The blitzball player rolled his eyes and scowled fiercely at Braska. "You've been arguin' with me about that since yesterday. I already told ya – the only thing I need to score is a blitzball!"

Braska shook his head. "No one's ever heard of using a blitzball as a weapon before, Jecht."

"Umm, actually …" Rikku said with a small laugh, not particularly upset when the guys chose to ignore her contribution to their slowly heating argument.

"See, now you obviously never played blitzball before," Jecht said. "You'd think different if you had one comin' for you. Just ask Auron."

Auron winced and glared at Jecht. "Lord Braska is correct. Absolutely no blitzballs on this Pilgrimage."

Jecht threw his arms up and groaned. "Aww, c'mon, Auron, you were wearing armour!"

"No," he repeated, and Braska gave Jecht a tiny smile of triumph.

"Whatever," Jecht said, dropping his arms in defeat. "But I get to choose my own weapon. And you have to pay for it!" he added petulantly.

Braska nodded and ushered them towards the door. "Let's get started," he said firmly. "It's quite a walk to the marketplace from here." He waited until the others had filed out before him, then reached out and caught Rikku's arm, beckoning her to walk at his side. "Rikkma, are there going to be any additional supplies that you need?"

"Oh, you're offering?" Rikku asked with the beginning of a smile. _Yes … maybe this won't be a total loss!_ "The Yevonites stole all my stuff when I got here, so I really could use a few potions and things …" she began.

"No," Auron cut in. Rikku jumped when he appeared at their side; she hadn't even noticed him slowing down to join them.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" she asked indignantly, glaring at him. "Excuse me, but I think Braska was asking ME the question?"

"Auron, it's really quite alright -" Braska tried.

"She's a thief."

Rikku flushed and grit her teeth. _Just when I thought we were starting to get along, too._ The way he said it made it sound like an insult. "I steal from fiends," she hissed through her teeth.

"Therefore you don't need to be wasting our money," Auron told her coolly. "Gather supplies on your own."

"I wonder if you'd still think that when you're sick with poison after getting stung by a bite bug, huh? I'm suuuuure you'll say then that we didn't really need that antidote," Rikku sniped.

"Please," Braska cut in, dropping his eyes to the ground. "Auron, leave her alone. This is also a part of my duty as a Summoner, and I do it gladly."

"But sir -" Auron protested angrily.

"Enough!" Braska told him sternly, and Auron grimaced and stalked away from them. Braska turned to Rikku with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about that. Auron can be a little overprotective at times, as I'm sure you've noticed. Now … what was it again that you said you'd be needing?"

Rikku nibbled on her lip and looked at the ground. She had realized the reason for Auron's intervention as soon as Braska had mentioned the word duty. In fact, she was kicking herself for not having thought of it before. It was obvious enough from the slum that he lived in that Braska was not well off; he had fallen out of favour with both the Al Bhed and the Church of Yevon. Yet he had doggedly chosen to remain in Bevelle, raising Yuna on his own. She winced when she realized how thoughtlessly she had been about to take advantage of Braska's kindness.

"Oh, hey … don't worry about it," Rikku told him, smiling brightly. "I really can gather my own supplies, so you don't need to buy anything." Braska looked like he was about to protest, so Rikku quickly raised her palm and put on a stern expression. "That big ol' butt monkey challenged me, and I have to prove to him that I can do it on my own!" she said firmly. "It's a matter of pride now, so you can't interfere!"

"Hmm," Braska said dryly, as though he could see through her thin pretence. "Very well. Pride, then. I will, however, still be paying for your robe, so be sure to choose one out when we get there."

Rikku nodded in agreement and then scurried ahead of him, slowing down briefly to fall in step beside Auron. "Thanks," she murmured to him under her breath. "I wasn't thinking."

Auron grunted, not bothering to turn to look at her. "Do you ever?" he asked dryly.

"Gee, I love you too," Rikku replied sarcastically before leaving his side. She caught up easily with Jecht, who had come to a stop where the street spilled open into the larger square, which contained the bustling marketplace. He was looking at the motley collection of merchants and shoppers with a mixture of surprise and awe. "Hey, better close your mouth or everyone'll know you're a tourist and charge us twice as much!" Rikku scolded him.

"Damn," Jecht said faintly, rubbing the back of his head as his eyes travelled over the multi-coloured tents and stalls, packed full of vendors and shoppers mingling through the streets. "We don't have anything like this in Zanarkand," he mumbled.

Rikku followed his gaze and silently agreed with Jecht; Bevelle's market square was an impressive sight even for Spirans. Before Sin was defeated, Bevelle had been Spira's largest city; afterwards, Luca had taken over the title, but that cheerful port city had always remained more of a temporary gathering centre for blitzball enthusiasts than a truly urban setting like Bevelle. There was still nothing comparable to the sight of so many people gathered together to buy and trade in the open-air market even in Rikku's recent memory; it was without a doubt Spira's largest commercial centre. "This is gonna be great," she cheered to herself, hopping eagerly in place.

"Don't lag behind," Auron told them as he passed the two with Braska. "If either of you get lost, we won't come looking for you."

"Gotcha!" Rikku yelled, already dashing towards the first stall to root through the wares offered there. She lost interest in the cheap trinkets quickly and raced to another stall, fingering the brightly-dyed fabric that was hanging in strips before the tent eagerly. A wry laugh caught her attention, and she released the cloth and looked over her shoulder to see Jecht smirking at her.

"This must be some kinda universal truth," he grumbled with amusement. "Women and shoppin' - alone they're fine, but combine 'em and you got man's worst nightmare."

"Hey!" Rikku said with a small pout, racing back to his side so they could catch up with the others. She slowed her pace, remembered why she had originally sought him out and sucked in her breath. "Umm … sorry, by the way."

Jecht gave her a surprised glance and scratched his head. "For what?" he asked cluelessly.

"You know!" Rikku replied, exasperated. "Yesterday … I mean what I said about abandoning your son. That was wrong of me, okay?" She flushed and peered at Jecht from the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his reaction.

Jecht's face tightened momentarily, but then he sighed and shrugged at Rikku. "No harm, no foul," he told her offhandedly before moving away from her.

Rikku almost tripped over her own feet. _That easy?_ she thought to herself suspiciously. _But I thought he really did love Tidus …_ She thought of Auron's appraisal of Jecht and studied him more closely. _Auron said he was transparent … is he, though, really? _He certainly seemed like a simpleton, smiling lazily as they passed through the vendors and occasionally heckling Auron to buy a jug of whiskey for himself every time they passed a liqueur stall. If Jecht was really upset about being separated from his own family, he certainly hid it well.

_But he does care,_ Rikku reminded herself, filing his carefree behaviour away for closer inspection later on. _I won't be making any more assumptions about Sir Jecht from now on, no-siree!_ A flash of silver in one of the stalls caught her eye, and all thoughts of introspective analysis of her team mates fled out the window in favour of something much more important.

"Ooh! Pretties!" Rikku squealed, racing to the jewellery stall. "C'mon guys, can't we stop for just a little?" she yelled at the others when they finally paused to look at her in dismay.

"Universal, I tell you," Jecht said to the other two men as they watched Rikku paw through the hapless vendor's inventory with the eagerness of a child in a candy store.

"Perhaps it wasn't the wisest decision to bring her along for the supply trip," Braska noted nervously.

"Women," Auron observed in disgust. "I'll get her." As he strode towards the stall, Braska casually turned to Jecht.

"I was married for seven years," he murmured. "You?"

"Nine," Jecht replied, watching as Auron and Rikku began to argue with a knowing look in his eye. "Well, he's the one who was dumb enough to make the approach. I saw it's his own fault, so we can make him carry the bags."

"Agreed," Braska replied with an amused laugh. "Poor fellow."


	7. Machina Machinations

**- 7: Machina Machinations -**

Rikku smirked to herself as she juggled her purchases in her fingers. The argument with Auron had been fierce but in the end, she had won; he was now sulking and trailing at the back of their little group silently. To be fair, Rikku hadn't actually bought all that much; as he heatedly reminded her, she had promised not to cause any trouble by stealing from the vendors, and Braska did have limited funds. That hadn't stopped her from pointing out the necessity of arming their small party with the proper equipment; the difficulty came in convincing Auron that the small pile of jewellery she had selected was meant for anything more than cosmetic purposes. Braska had finally intervened when their voices started to rise noticeably, silently paying the confused merchant for Rikku's selections before either could object. And to Rikku's great embarrassment, the items had cost more than she had expected. She was a thief, after all, and could more or less guess the state of the gil in Braska's small pouch of money both before and after her purchases. It dwindled even more after they picked up a few recording spheres, and she was seriously beginning to consider breaking her promise not to steal as the morning progressed.

Rikku ran her finger over the smooth metal of the bracelet that jangled on her wrist; it was heavy and just large enough to work a few protective wards into once she had the proper equipment. Releasing the bracelet, she studied her next purchase - a heavy silver necklace that she had chosen with Jecht in mind. As of yet it was little more than a chain and a large silver disc; she knew that had she bought him a bracelet like her own, he would have deemed it much too 'girly' to wear. Tidus seemed to have had no trouble wearing necklaces, so she hoped that his father wouldn't object too strongly to the ornament. "I'll just have to be careful when I carve it," she mumbled to herself, slipping the necklace into one of her pockets. For Braska, she had picked out a plain silver circlet; it would be the hardest of the pieces to customize, but she was sure she could attach it to his helmet with a little work. The question was how to tactfully get her hands on said helmet without him noticing. As she tucked away the circlet, she looked over her shoulder at Auron guiltily; his head was down and he still looked extremely pissed off. He was the only person she hadn't been able to find something for; besides the fact that he had already donned his usual armoured bracer, she simply wasn't certain that she could actually convince him to wear anything, especially if it was coming as a gift from her. _I'll just have to steal his bracer one of these days and work with it. Oh boy, I bet that'll be loads of fun,_ she thought sourly.

"Rikkma?" Braska shook her out of her thoughts with a small smile. "You need to choose a robe."

Looking up, Rikku realized they had stopped in front of a cloth merchant. Several fine robes were prominently displayed on hooks before the tent, and Rikku bit her lip as she studied them. "Umm, Braska," she mumbled uncomfortably. It wasn't that Rikku minded shopping for clothes; it was actually one of her favourite pastimes. These robes, however, were richly brocaded and made of fine silks and satins; they were very beautiful and obviously very expensive. "None of these look really …" She stopped herself from saying _affordable_ just in time. "… comfortable, you know."

Braska read her easily enough. "Rikkma," he told her somewhat sternly, "You need to dress more appropriately for the temple. I already told you that I would be happy to pay for your robe. Won't you just try one on?" he pressed.

The vendor inside of the tent capitalized on Braska's request immediately, pulling down one of the deep blue robes and holding it out towards Rikku eagerly. "I assure you, you won't find robes more comfortable than these in the entire district!" he told them.

Rikku wrinkled her nose uncertainly at the cloth that was pushed into her hands, not really wanting to try on any of the formal dress but unwilling to hurt her uncle's feelings with a direct refusal. "Well, actually …" she mumbled, kicking her feet into the ground.

"Please, Rikkma," Braska pleaded.

Rikku nibbled on her lip and considered the robe. It wasn't all that bad; of course, the robe was patterned in a traditional Bevelle cut, meaning she would have to 'tailor' it to suit her own needs as soon as they were out of town anyway. Still … it _was_ a very pretty shade of blue …

"Blue was Raenn's favourite colour," she heard Auron mutter.

She stiffened and let the fabric fall from her fingers, pushing it quickly back towards the merchant. Then she looked at Braska. He was staring at Auron, who she just knew was staring right back. The two men seemed to be locked in a silent battle of wills, one she had somehow unwittingly instigated. Finally Braska looked at Rikku, a gentle smile gracing his face; it was an abrupt change from the silent tension that had pulled at his features just moments before.

"Whatever Rikkma wishes to wear is her own choice, of course."

Rikku swallowed and could practically feel Auron's glare shift from Braska and onto the back of her neck. She snuck a glance at him and winced; the expression on his face went beyond any simple _Rikku Look._ This one was accusing and also slightly threatening. It didn't take a genius to figure out why; he was trying to protect Braska, both financially and emotionally. That he saw her as a threat, however, sparked a tiny frown of resentment. "I can't help it if I look like her," Rikku mumbled under her breath, glaring at Auron sullenly before pushing past him into the tent. She scanned over the racks of clothing quickly, ignoring the fawning vendor as she searched for the cheapest, ugliest-looking _not blue_ robe she could find. Finally, she settled on a plain brown lump of cloth stuffed away behind the other finery. Without even trying it on, she pulled it out and shoved it into the merchant's waiting hands. "This one is perfect," she grumbled.

"B-but … this one isn't even finished!" he complained.

"Then I'm sure you'll be able to give us an appropriate discount," Auron interrupted, giving the merchant a stern look.

The small man huffed and glared at Auron. "300 gil," he said reluctantly.

"What!" Rikku yelled, snatching the robe out of the man's hands. She shimmied into it quickly and turned around. "300 gil for this? Look, it doesn't even have sleeves!" she seethed.

"250 gil," the merchant replied with a wince.

"Sir," Auron said coldly, "Do you take us for fools? That sackcloth that you claim to be a garment is clearly worth no more than 50 gil."

It was about then that Rikku realized that Auron was playing her kind of game. Her anger evaporated and she gave him a mischievous smile, to which he replied with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"F-fifty - why, you thieves! You charlatans! I'll have you know that my family has tailored for High Priests of Yevon for over twenty years!" the merchant sputtered.

At this point, even Braska had caught on, and folding his arms serenely, he gave the merchant a thoughtful smile. "Ah … for such a supposedly reputable tailor, you certainly do protest very loudly," he observed.

"What's the hold up?" Jecht grumbled loudly from outside of the tent. "If this guy's sellin' duds, let's just go somewhere else!"

"A reasonable suggestion for once," Auron answered quickly. "As he is the personal tailor to the High Priests of Yevon, I'm sure our business isn't needed here." He turned to walk away.

"125 gil!" the merchant yelled out with a note of desperation. "But absolutely no less than that!"

"Hmm," Auron said, pausing.

"I suppose that sounds reasonable," Braska replied cheerfully, and both Auron and Rikku winced. Eager as he might have been to learn, Braska clearly still needed a few lessons in the fine art of street haggling. "Is that really what you want, Rikkma?" he asked her.

"Weeeell," Rikku hummed uncertainly, picking at the robe. The deal was still salvageable, she supposed. _Besides, no risk, no fun!_ "If you ask me, I'd only shell out 100 gil for this thing."

"125 is my final -"

"… and I promise not to dance through the streets telling people where I bought it from," Rikku added archly. She smiled at the merchant sweetly. "I'm a really good dancer, you know?"

"She's also very loud," Auron added. "Believe me."

"100 gil. And I don't ever want to see your faces again," the vendor blustered. He snatched the money out of Braska's hands and all but pushed them out of his tent with a dark scowl.

When they were a safe distance away, Rikku skipped up to Auron and held up her hand with a triumphant smile. "High five!" she yelled at him, and rolled her eyes in exasperation when he only stared at her outstretched palm.

"I think I should leave you two in charge of the shopping from now on," Braska noted from behind them with a grin.

"Thank you my lord," Auron said. "Though this subterfuge wouldn't have been necessary had we allotted our funds more carefully." This was directed at Rikku, and she scowled at him.

"How much do we have left?"

Braska stopped and reached into the pouch to count his coins, and Rikku winced again. _Counting his money in the open in the middle of flea market …_ She leaned in towards Auron.

"Is he always this bad?" she whispered.

"Mmm-hmm," Auron answered her quietly. "Lord Braska tends to see only the best in others. That is why he needs protection, not only from fiends." Then he paused and looked at her, really _looked,_ and she squirmed uncomfortably. "Rikkma. He loved his wife very much. Be … careful with him."

Rikku turned and looked at Braska, who had finished counting his money. She returned his smile hesitantly when he looked up at her and cringed internally. "I'm a Guardian," she said out loud. "I'll keep him safe … even if he doesn't want me to."

"As will I," Auron replied smoothly; statement, promise and threat all in one.

"I'm afraid we have a little problem," Braska said reluctantly, interrupting their conversation. "There isn't enough left to purchase a proper weapon for you," he told Jecht.

Jecht shrugged and didn't appear to be particularly displeased by the news. "Cry me a river," he mumbled.

"Well, why don't we just go to the temple and get this over with, then?" Rikku suggested quickly. "We're all decked out properly, and there shouldn't be any fiends waiting in there for us, right?"

Braska sighed and nodded slowly. "Yes … we've spent enough time here. Let's head towards the temple." He turned and began to lead them through the crowds, but Rikku lingered behind, feeling guilty. She had made the suggestion on a whim, but the words had sobered Braska instantly. He had almost seemed to be enjoying himself in the marketplace with them, and she knew she had inadvertently reminded him of his duty, that they weren't simply friends who were sharing a vacation together, but a Summoner and his Guardians, preparing for a gruelling trip that would have little chances for respite such as Bevelle's open-air market offered. She looked at the ground and blinked rapidly, trying to remind herself that she shouldn't be getting involved. A pair of heavy boots entered her vision; they stopped beside her own.

"Braska chose his own path long ago. All we can do is follow." The boots moved away.

"I know," Rikku muttered, scurrying after him.

**.x.x.x.**

"So this is a temple?" Jecht said, his loud voice echoing through the high-domed ceiling hollowly. "Where're all the priests? Where's the altar?"

They were standing at the top of the huge spiral staircase inside of Bevelle's temple; the steps led down, down, deep into the darkness. Unlike the last time Rikku remembered, the controls for the elevator were also carefully obscured, covered with heavy brocaded cloths and ornamental hangings.

"The altar is in the centre of the shrine," Braska replied, starting down the winding staircase. "However, only Summoners are allowed to enter the chamber of the Fayth."

"Well, what's a fayth?" Jecht asked, following him.

"This song in the air? It's the Hymn of the Fayth," Braska explained. "They are the souls of those who dedicated their lives to battling Sin long ago. They sleep eternally, trapped in statues of stone, waking only when called forth by a Summoner. And while they dream, they sing to us."

Jecht grew unusually quiet, and the hymn swelled around them. Wordlessly, Auron followed the other two men down the staircase. He turned and regarded Rikku, who was leaning over the railing and looking into the darkness below.

"It such a long way down," she whined softly, shooting a wistful glance at the control panel.

"Then stay up here," Auron grumped, turning on his heel and following Braska.

"Meanie," Rikku muttered to herself, sprinting down the stairs past Auron. She passed Jecht quickly, and even breezed by Braska, who looked on in surprise.

"Rikkma," he called out after her. "Please be careful. We don't know what's waiting for us at the bottom."

_Some of us do,_ Rikku thought to herself. "I'll be fine!" she yelled up, leaning over the staircase and waving at the men above her. She wanted to get through the trials as quickly as possible; every memory she had of descending into the bowels of the earth underneath Bevelle had ended up unpleasantly, without exception. "The sooner this is over, the better," she observed.

Torches flared to life with each step she took, illuminating the staircase with their flickering light. It was a rather impressive, mystical effect, or at least it would have been, had Rikku not been searching for the pressure panels in the floor that activated the mechanisms to light them. As it was, she was keeping herself amused by trying to race down the staircase more quickly than the torches could be lit. That of course meant that she was sprinting blindly into the yawning darkness. And, as she managed to catch her boot on one of the steps and go tumbling forward, she finally realized that it might not have been one of her better ideas. With a loud yelp, she went tumbling down the staircase; instinctively rolling into a protective ball, she punctuated each bounce and slap as she hit the hard ground with a loud "OWW!" or "OUCH!" Fortunately, Rikku had tripped near the bottom of the stairs, so her fall was rather short. Unfortunately, her yells were loud enough to carry upwards very clearly.

"Rikkma! Are you all right?" Braska yelled, picking up his robes and hurrying down the stairs. Auron also picked up the pace, but it was Jecht who actually beat them both, being the quickest of the men. He was, in fact, fast enough to emulate Rikku's step hopping trip, and as he neared her, another loud yell was heard, followed by a few thumps and muffled cursing.

"OWW!" Rikku yelled at the top of her lungs, kicking Jecht off of her. "Did you have to land on top of me?"

"Quit yer complainin!" Jecht yelled back, sitting up and rubbing his head. "I wouldn't have fallen if you hadn't first!"

"Neither of you would have fallen if you had paid attention to your surroundings," Auron told them both. Seeing that they were both uninjured, he redirected his attention to the glowing veil of blue energy that sealed off the entrance to the cloister. "The trials are beyond," he said, turning around and facing the others. "Lord Braska … are you ready?"

Braska stopped before the entrance and held his hands together, dipping in a respectful bow of prayer as the glowing curtain parted. Rikku and Jecht stood behind him, and while he bowed, Jecht leaned over towards Rikku and whispered to her under his breath.

"Hey, Blondie. What's a trial?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "My name's not Blondie, you know. It's … " She paused and considered the alternative. "… alright if you call me that, though," she finished with a small laugh.

Jecht stared at her for a moment and then shrugged. Apparently he was getting used to her lunatic behaviour and passing it off as normal, she noted with some embarrassment. "Trials?" he reminded her. "Is this gonna be some kind of test?" he asked, cracking his knuckles.

"We don't know what awaits us inside," Auron replied, slinging his sword off of his back and hefting it over his shoulder.

"I hardly think the temples would attempt to kill off their potential Summoners during the trials, Auron," Braska chided him, stepping forward. He stopped when Auron held out an arm to block him.

"Let me go first, my lord." Without waiting for a reply, Auron turned and strode through the doorway.

Rikku, who already knew what was coming, crossed her arms and waited. Auron didn't come out immediately, and she wondered what was keeping him. Braska shifted slightly and rustled his long robes and Jecht stretched and yawned loudly. The seconds ticked by, and Rikku began to tap her foot. Braska cleared his throat. Finally, Jecht, picking at his ear, strolled past Braska.

"Jecht, do you think it's wise to -" Braska started.

"Sick of waitin'," he grunted as explanation, walking through the portal carelessly.

Rikku was hot on Jecht's heels, and she gave Braska a bright smile, pulling him through after her. "Hey, like you said! I bet it's perfectly safe inside!" she told him.

"But …" Braska protested helplessly, allowing himself to be pulled through.

"Whoa!" Jecht's loud exclamation quickened both of their paces; Rikku and Braska rounded the corner to see Jecht and Auron standing side by side, staring out over Bevelle's Cloister of Trials. Auron was motionless, his eyes wide and his face pale. "This is incredible!" Jecht was saying as he turned to face them. "I don't think I ever saw anything like this, not even in Zanarkand!" he exclaimed, thumbing over his shoulder. Braska, who had pulled up alongside him, was also speechless. Curious at their silence, Rikku cautiously crept up and peered between them.

Looming out before them was the vast, seemingly bottomless pit of the cloister. The moving walkways of light that pulsed and crisscrossed through the air glowed harshly against the encroaching darkness. It was a strange and beautiful symphony of light and electronics, and Rikku took a moment to appreciate the beauty and skill it had taken to construct such a labyrinth. _Just like I remember,_ she thought with satisfaction. Then she turned to Auron and quirked an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?" she asked.

Auron said nothing, still staring wide-eyed at the multitude of glowing pathways. Growing a little concerned, she reached over and poked the bare skin on his arm. Since that didn't produce a reaction, she frowned and then pinched him. Hard. He hissed and drew his arm away, coming out of his stupor to glare at her. "Welcome back!" Rikku grinned at him, waving. "Where the heck were you?"

Auron blinked and looked around, spotting Jecht and Braska, who had torn their eyes away from the pit to stare at him. He grimaced and avoided looking at the labyrinth. "Machina …" he muttered softly.

_Uh-oh,_ Rikku thought to herself.

"Hey, it's a good light show, even I'll admit that, but it ain't that great," Jecht told him, scratching his head. "What's machina anyway?"

"Machina is forbidden by Yevon!" Auron answered immediately, his eyes snapping back to the walkway.

"Yevon this, Yevon that," Jecht grumbled. "That ain't no answer!"

"Perhaps … it's only magic?" Braska interjected hopefully, squinting at the walkway. Then he turned to Rikku. "The Al Bhed are more familiar with machina than any other people. Perhaps you could tell us?" he asked her quietly.

Jecht had also turned to her and crossed his arms. "Machina?" he repeated.

Rikku laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her head. _How to answer this one …_ She decided to tackle Jecht first. "Machina are old pieces of equipment that we Al Bhed try to salvage and use," she said. "Yevon sort of doesn't like it when we do that, because they're a bunch of stuffy old poops who think we should depend on them for everything instead of working for ourselves!"

"That's not entirely correct," Braska interjected mildly. "The forbidden technology housed in machina is what brought about Sin. If we repent and abstain from its use, one day Sin will disappear, and the world will know peace."

"That's a lie!" Rikku cried out before she could stop herself. "There are no bad machina, just bad people who use them! Well, okay, maybe there are one or two bad machina out there," she amended quickly, her eyes darting to the pit underneath the glowing labyrinth. Somewhere down there Vegnagun is still sleeping … "But my point is that just because Yevon says it's bad, doesn't mean you can blame machina for all of our problems!"

"Huh," Jecht replied, scratching his chin. "So these Yevon folks go around tellin' people not to use machina, and you Al Bhed type go around usin' them anyway, and that's why they hate ya?" he asked succinctly.

"Something like that," Rikku agreed.

"So you're Al Bhed," Jecht repeated slowly. Seeing Rikku nod, he turned to Auron. "And you're one of these Yevon guys," he added mildly. Auron glared at him in response. "I think I like the Al Bhed better," he finally said.

"No one asked for your opinion," Auron snapped out.

"Yeah, well, all I'm sayin' is we got this _'machina'_ comin' outta our ears in Zanarkand and there sure as heck wasn't anything like Sin botherin' us there. Maybe a fiend or two every once a while, but that's all."

"But I thought it was Sin that brought you here," Braska said.

"Yeah, well …" Jecht trailed off uncertainly. Then he gestured at the glowing walkway. "That sure likes like 'machina' to me. You tell me what this forbidden machina is doin' in a temple of Yevon, and maybe I can come up with a reason for Sin bein' in Zanarkand."

Rikku's eyes flickered back to Auron's face; once again he was staring at the moving walkways, and his mouth had drawn into a thin line. She winced and drummed her fingers together nervously. _No. They're not ready for this._ Then she took a deep breath.

"It's not machina."

Everyone turned to look at her; Jecht looked like he was about to protest, but Rikku held up her hand and gave him a stern glance. "Listen. I am Al Bhed. And we know machina better than anyone else in all of Spira. I'm telling you, no matter what it looks like, _that,_" she emphasized, pointing at the walkway, "is NOT machina. It's just not possible!"

"Are you sure?" Braska asked uncertainly, though he couldn't hide the expression of relief on his face. More importantly, Auron was staring at her intently; strangely, as little as he seemed to enjoy her presence, he was hanging on her every word. In a way, she realized he was depending on her, his so-called enemy, to tilt his world back onto its proper axis.

_Sometimes I really hate myself._ Rikku planted her hands on her hips and stared at the ground angrily. _But I'll always hate Yevon more._

"It's not machina," she repeated dully. "Maybe it's some kind of summon or something."

"Well … I suppose that is that," Braska said, smiling and returning his attention to the labyrinth.

"… yes," Auron replied, slowly tearing his gaze away from Rikku and back towards the cloister. "Yet another one of Yevon's tests," he muttered with disgust. His face was still haunted, but some of the stiffness had slipped away from his shoulders.

Rikku let out a tiny sigh of relief and looked away, only to squawk and jerk back as Jecht's face appeared directly in front of her; he wasn't quite as angry as when she had mentioned Tidus to him, but he definitely looked far from pleased.

"What're you playin' at?" he mumbled lowly, careful to keep his voice from carrying over to the other two men.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rikku told him, smiling falsely.

"You know well as I do that ain't magic," he said, thumbing over his shoulder at the pulsing walkway.

Rikku narrowed her eyes. "It has to be for now," she whispered to him urgently. Then her expression turned pleading. "Can't you just let it slide? Can't you see they need this?"

Jecht glanced over his shoulder at the two men, who were obviously trying to figure out their next move inside the labyrinth, and then shook his head incredulously. "An' they're callin' me slow," he mumbled under his breath. "Spira is one messed up place, man." Then he glared at her.

"What?" Rikku asked, taking another step back.

"Well, Blondie. You can bat those eyelashes and tell 'em all the little stories you want." He snorted and looked her over. "But I ain't like them. I don't give a crap who this Raenn person was, an' I know a lie when I see one. I'll be watchin' you," he warned her. "You try an' double-cross us an' I'll personally make sure you regret it."

Rikku blinked in surprise. "Wow, you're taking this Guardian stuff really seriously," she said after a moment.

Jecht straightened up and scratched his head, surprised by Rikku's lack of fear at his threat. Then again, he couldn't know that he didn't seem very scary to her. After having fought and killed an incarnation of him that was about three times the size of most of the buildings in Bevelle and wielding a sword to boot, there wasn't very much this Jecht could do that she would find intimidating. She was surprised to find that The Lecture she had been expecting all day was popping out of Jecht's mouth instead of Auron's, though.

"That's a good thing," she reassured him quickly when his confused look began to drop into a scowl. "I'm a Guardian too, remember? I'm here to guard Braska, not hurt him." Then she gave him a tiny smile. "I'm just doing it my own way. I'm … glad, kinda, to hear you just wanna protect him too."

Jecht shrugged uncomfortably and crossed his arms over his head. "He's my ticket back to Zanarkand," he groused. "'Course I gotta look after him." Then he shot her another sideways glance. "You are one weird chick." He pointed at his massive chest, and the scars crisscrossed over it. "I don't scare you at all?" he asked, sounding almost disappointed. Rikku snickered, and Jecht scowled. "Damn! I gotta work on my image."

"You do that," Rikku smirked, jogging over to Braska and Auron, who were hovering around the freestanding pillar before the walkway. "Hey," she complained to them in a singsong voice. "Jecht's thinking too hard over there and the smell of burning hair is starting to get to me. You guys think of something yet?"

"Well," Braska said with frown, "the lights appear to be moving pathways, but they won't hold any solid weight. There must be a way to travel on it."

"I believe it has something to do with this," Auron added, pushing at the pillar, which slid forward easily.

Rikku considered remaining silent and letting the men solve the labyrinth on their own. That would be the fair thing to do, she knew; using her own knowledge would be cheating somehow. _And Yevon knows we shouldn't cheat,_ Rikku thought to herself with a tiny smirk.

"What, this old thing?" she said loudly, purposefully tripping past Auron and slamming into the pillar. Her not-so-subtle push sent it flying over the edge of the stone walkway and into the moving path of light, and both Auron and Braska let out a yell of dismay as it fell through. "Oopsie," she giggled, then put on her best surprised expression as it shifted and melted into a large disc which hovered over the moving path of light. "Well will you look at that!" she cooed.

"Truly amazing magic," Braska murmured in awe.

"Hnn," Auron agreed, sounding something distinctly less than amazed. "We still don't know that it's safe."

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Rikku cheered gleefully, preparing to spring onto the platform.

"All right! Surfin'!" Jecht roared as he landed on the disc ahead of her.

_Double damn those blitzball reflexes!_ Rikku growled to herself as the disc took off with a laughing Jecht on it. "Get back here Jecht!" she yelled irately. "He doesn't even know what he's doing!" she groaned in frustration as the disc rapidly whizzed out of sight.

"Touching as your concern for his safety is," Auron noted uneasily, still wary of the glowing walkway, "we have no idea where he -" Auron's sentence ended abruptly as a soft hissing was heard and a sphere platform faded into view where the old one once stood. No one noticed Rikku discreetly plugging her ears.

"AAAHHH!" Jecht's materialization over the platform was heralded by his loud yell as he fell, landing painfully onto the ground face-first. The blitzball player stood up slowly and wobbled, his eyes unfocused. "I gotta stop doin' that," he mumbled to himself dazedly.

"I fear this may be more complicated than I first thought," Braska murmured. "What happened? What did you see?"

"Damn thing's fast," Jecht managed to grumble. "Lights … lotsa turns … and the drop-off at the end's a real bitch," he grunted.

"But it did bring you back safely," Braska noted with a determined expression. He leaned over and pushed the pillar back onto the walkway, and the disc reformed.

"Surely you aren't thinking of using it!" Auron said immediately. "Look at what it did to Jecht!" The man in question's eyes crossed as he slumped to the ground with a pained groan.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "I don't see a difference from normal," she snorted.

"Perhaps it requires the talent of a Summoner to function properly," Braska said, stepping towards the platform. He paused and bowed before it with a resolute expression.

"Umm …" Rikku said nervously.

"Have faith, Rikkma," Braska assured her with a warm smile. Then he stepped onto the platform. With a soft woosh, it disappeared from sight … though Braska's surprised yell at the speed with which the disc jumped into motion didn't fade quite as quickly.

Rikku winced and surreptitiously brought her fingers back towards her ears. To his credit, Braska didn't yell quite as loudly as Jecht had when the pillar re-formed and he came crashing to the ground in a tangle of robes in front of them.

"I think … this will take more … than just faith," Braska managed to mumble as he cast a healing spell over himself. Then he smiled wryly at Auron and Rikku. "So who will be the next victim of this trial?"

Auron paled slightly, but with a grim expression he shoved the pillar onto the walkway. "This is not a good idea," he grumbled to himself as he approached the floating disc.

Rikku silently agreed; Bevelle's cloister had been difficult enough for Yuna's large party to unravel, and right now they were only four. Thinking back on it, she realized it might have taken even longer for them to solve had it not been for Auron's subtle assistance. _Except now he's not here … I am._ Rikku wasn't entirely sure this Auron would have accepted any help from her under normal circumstances; however, he still appeared to be rather shaken by the unexpected presence of the "non-machina" inside the temple. He hesitated in front of the floating disc, clearly displaying his reluctance to board it.

Jecht, who had recovered by then with the help of one of Braska's healing spells, let out a hearty laugh. "Well ain't this a first! The great an' mighty Auron's actually scared of a little joyride! Rikkma, you should be recordin' this!"

Auron's jaw clenched and he stepped onto the disc resolutely. Immediately, it drifted away from the others at the same rapid pace as before.

"Right!" Rikku yelled, dashing towards the walkway and making a flying leap onto the disc, slamming into a very surprised Auron and nearly pushing them both over the edge. She had to admit the gamble was worth it, however, as Auron's arms reflexively wrapped around her and they fell to their knees, off-balance.

Her nose was pushing uncomfortably into his armoured chest, but she ignored the awkward position in favour of inhaling deeply. _Wow … he really smells good,_ she noted dimly, blushing at the feel of his arms when they tightened around her. The disc was moving rapidly, creating a pleasant breeze which tugged at her hair. It was barely enough to cool her skin, though, which seemed to be overheating while in such close proximity to him -

"Rikkma!" Auron's tense yell, underlined with a note of panic cleaved through her short-lived fantasy, and she realized they were still moving very quickly. More pointedly, she noticed that it was vertigo, rather than passion, that was causing Auron to cling to her so tightly. And, to her own rising dismay she saw that they had already been whisked more than three-fourths of the way down the lit path. The drop-off was approaching rapidly, and they weren't even on their feet!

"Get off of me!" Rikku yelled, panicking as she recognized the last floating checkpoint that they were about to sail over. Out of sheer desperation, she slammed her palms as hard as she could onto the pad, not caring which direction the softly glowing arrows pointed to. With a sudden lurch, the disc came to a halt, and Rikku let out a sigh of relief. Then her stomach nearly emerged from her throat as the disc whirled and shot off into the small, dark alcove she had inadvertently steered them into. She grabbed onto Auron when she felt him sway; besides the fact that he smelled good, she really didn't want him to fall to his death. Her firm grip was broken as the disc spilled them unceremoniously onto solid ground and then shimmered, reforming once more as a solid pillar.

Rikku rolled over with a grunt, sprawling across the cold stone floor and willing the room to stop spinning. _I almost forgot how much I hate this place,_ she noted to herself sourly. Then she smirked. _No, actually I didn't!_ Hearing a groan, she cracked her eye open and turned her head in the direction it came from.

Auron was lying face down on the stone, not looking very much better off than her. Some of his long hair had been knocked free of his normally impeccable ponytail; two dark strands framed his strong features like jagged spikes over each cheek. Somehow, it underlined the strange youthfulness of his features that still took her by surprise; a good part of the older Auron's allure had been the mystery that was hiding behind his sunglasses and high collar. The young Auron was much more blatantly beautiful to look at. Had he shown any interest in blitzball at all, Rikku was sure he would've become a star player just for his looks alone. Unfortunately, that dream-inducing face was currently flushed an interesting shade of greenish-white, made all the more eerie by the lack of surrounding light. The unhealthy neon glow of the walkway was the only illumination available, and it washed over his skin with its unhealthy display of colours, making him look gaunt and sick.

"Hey, are you okay?" Rikku asked, pushing herself up and crawling over to him.

Auron pushed himself up to his knees and leaned back on his heels, dropping his eyes closed. "I need … a moment," he managed to say. Rikku scooted away from him and busied herself studying their surroundings; she recognized the small alcove they had landed in when she spotted the empty socket in the wall, but there was nothing she could do there until they managed to find a Bevelle sphere. She busied herself with inspecting the socket very obviously, however, trying to give Auron the privacy he needed as he composed himself. Hearing the soft rustling of cloth, she glanced over her shoulder and turned fully when she saw Auron stand up.

"… Thank you for your discretion," he told her uncomfortably. Then he took in their surroundings. "How did we end up here?"

"Well, umm … we were going really fast, and there was this flashy light thingy on the ground, so I just hit it as hard as I could," Rikku explained. "I think it throws the disc in the direction the light is shining."

"Hmm," Auron muttered, pacing the area. "Have you discovered anything else here?"

Rikku shook her head. "No … this looks like a dead end. I think we gotta go back and try again." She noticed Auron wince and eyed him uncertainly. "'Course, if you're not up to it …"

Auron spun around and glared at her. "You're remarkably unconcerned by what you've seen here so far," he observed harshly.

"Well … we Al Bhed see lots of strange things all the time!" Rikku covered with a nervous smile. She knew he didn't believe her, but after a moment he dropped the glare for an exasperated grunt and began to pull at the loose strands of hair that had fallen around his face. "Oh, don't do that!" she yelled suddenly, and then winced and silently kicked herself.

"Don't do what?" Auron asked, still tucking the errant wisps of hair away. His eyes widened in surprise and he nearly flinched when Rikku rushed to his side and reached towards his face. "What do you think you're …" His indignant words trailed off when she batted his fingers away and smoothed his loose hair back down.

Rikku fussed with the strands of hair unnecessarily, feeling her own face growing warm. He stood stock still, his eyes dark and hard; she wasn't certain if he was angry or not for touching him without invitation, even if it was just his hair. Still, he hadn't drawn his sword, so she took it as an encouraging sign. "You look better this way," she murmured, finally releasing him and reluctantly stepping away. "More … human." He continued to stare at her, and she felt the tell-tale blush spreading over her cheeks and upgrading from red to nearly-purple. "Sorry," Rikku managed squeak out in mortification, whirling away from him. She busied herself with purposefully ignoring him, pushing the pillar back onto the walkway to form another travelling disc. "You know, you can wait here if you want. I'm sure I'd be able to find you again, no problem!"

"No," Auron said, and Rikku jumped as she realized he had pulled up beside her silently. She wondered if learning how to sneak around was mandatory for Yevon's warrior monks; it seemed distinctly unfair to her that someone as large as Auron could still make less noise than her moving from place to place. Then again, he didn't wear glass beads in his hair.

"I will accompany you," he said firmly, grasping her by the elbow as they stepped onto the platform together. It began to move immediately, and the warmth of his hand dropped away. Rikku swallowed and forced herself not to rub her skin where he had touched her; a small movement at the corner of her eye made her glance upwards at Auron's head.

He still looked stiff and uncomfortable, though to his credit his gaze was now fixed on the rapidly moving light of the pathway in front of them, studying its patterns and searching carefully for the directional pad that would alter their course. That he had seemed to overcome his vertigo wasn't what made her blink, though. It was the two loose strands of hair twisting in the gentle breeze as it blew past his face that brought the smile to her lips.


	8. A Matter Of Fayth

**- 8: A Matter Of Fayth -**

"No. We still haven't finished exploring this level."

"Well we haven't explored down that way yet either!"

"It clearly leads to a completely different segment of the labyrinth."

"And that's exactly why we should to take it! All we've found are dead ends up here anyway!"

"We are not leaving this level until we've finished … Rikkma? What are you - augh!"

"Hah, I got it, so there! Oh … uh, wow, that's a pretty steep -"

"AAAAAH!"

**.x.x.x.**

To say things went smoothly after Auron learned how to navigate through the labyrinth would have been optimistic at best. Though they managed to avoid the painful spill back onto the platform at the start of the maze, their constant bickering over which direction to take made the ride anything but smooth. At some point in time, Rikku lost her orientation on the dizzying path; she finally regained it when they passed a familiar-looking drop off to one of the lower levels of the labyrinth. She was certain she knew where they were now, however, mostly because during their noisy spill down the pathway she had heard Jecht's loud whoop in the distance. It faded away all too quickly as they descended deeper into the pit; the machina pathway was eerily quiet, and the only thing that was breaking the oppressive silence was the harsh sound of their breathing in the darkness. Rikku shivered involuntarily; no matter how many times she passed through them, she would never enjoy the Cloister of Trials.

At that moment, the disc was thankfully stopped, held steady on the flashing pathway of light by one of the more complex crossings. Rikku had curled herself into a small ball and was looking down yet another steep drop off, one that she knew they would eventually have to take. Her stomach was still protesting violently to the notion, however, so she kept silent while Auron studied the various tunnels.

"We should go further down," he finally said, pointing at said drop off. Rikku nearly fell off the disc in surprise.

"Huh? I thought you said you wanted to explore every single corner of this place before we took a new level!" She stood up and carefully stepped around the flashing pad, trying not to activate it.

Auron grimaced and closed his eyes. He was holding up fairly well for someone who had been almost unable to stand only half an hour earlier. Some things never changed, and his effort to fill the role of a level-headed guardian was one of them. Had he been wearing his collar, she might not have even noticed the thin beads of perspiration that shone on his neck.

"We should establish how many levels there are to explore first, and then find our way back to Braska and Jecht. If we don't, we might end up trapped here for hours," he explained.

"Ohh … well, okay," Rikku said uncertainly, edging closer to Auron. He gave her a look when she grabbed onto his arm and clutched it tightly, and she returned it with a determined scowl. "Don't make that mean face at me! This place is scarier than you!"

Auron rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the flashing pad. "Are you ready?" Rikku bobbed her head quickly, and he lifted a boot and stomped on the pad. There was a brief, dizzying moment of anticipation as the disc rotated slowly, and then with a silent whoosh they were falling faster than Rikku's stomach could keep up with her body. Auron dropped to one knee to keep his balance at their sudden momentum; Rikku, still holding onto his arm with a death grip, lost her own and pitched forward as the disc rounded a sharp turn.

For one frozen moment, the sensation of freefall caught up with her; it was the opposite of her experience on the Farplane. This time she was blanketed in darkness instead of light, and Auron was watching her fall with two eyes instead of one. Then with a jolt, she wasn't falling, simply dangling off of the disc limply, her wrist locked in the painful grip of his hand as he tried to hold her up.

"Rikkma!" he grunted, squinting at the pathway as they moved. "Grab my arm, quickly!"

Rikku twisted upwards, reaching for him, and caught a glimpse of the fast-approaching platform at the end of the dim tunnel. Her eyes widened; if she didn't move, and fast, the disc would dump Auron off, and she'd either fall if he let go or be smashed against the hard stone if he didn't. Neither option seemed particularly survivable, so with renewed effort she reached up and clutched at his red cloak, trying to haul herself back onto the rapidly moving disc. _I'm not fast enough!_ Rikku realized, and squeezed her eyes shut as the disc connected with the platform.

Instead of feeling the pain of splintering bone, she was airborne; rather than falling, however, it felt like she was being thrown through the air. Then with a crash she smashed into something hard. Surprisingly, the stone wasn't as painful as she had expected it to be. It wasn't actually all that hard. And it was warm. And it groaned underneath her. Cautiously cracking open an eye, she found herself face to face with Auron.

His eyes were shut, and his hand was still locked around her wrist so tightly that she was sure it would have a black and blue handprint on it the next day. Not that she minded, considering that it was the hand that saved her from a painful death. More distracting, however, was his other arm, which was wrapped tightly around her waist. She tried not to be impressed by the fact that he had literally thrown her out of danger with one hand alone; after all, this was the man who spent his days wielding a sword almost as big as she was as though it were a mere toothpick. Then again, Rikku had gotten into the habit of indulging in Barkeep's homemade chocobo-chips in recent years, and she was fairly certain she weighed more than Auron's sword. She fought her blush as her gaze dropped back to the hand around her waist; this was closer she had ever gotten to Auron before, and it felt strangely intimate despite their obvious discomfort. Granted, he was holding her more like someone might haul a sack of potatoes around than a lover, but it didn't change the fact that his arm was around her waist!

"T-thanks," she mumbled, feeling her face grow warm. Then to her great disappointment, Auron released her and pushed her away.

"Hnn," he grunted in reply, sitting up slowly with a wince. "Are you alright?"

Rikku bit her lip and rubbed at her sore wrist, trying to slow the pounding of her heart. "Yeah," she breathed, sitting back and avoiding his gaze. "What a rush!" she laughed shakily. "That was almost as bad as when Brother pilots the airship!"

"Airship?" Auron was sitting up now, and looking at her with a sharp glare.

Rikku felt her flush deepen and cast about for a distraction. "Oh look! A Bevelle sphere!" she yelled, pointing at the glowing sphere that was set into the recess above Auron's head.

Auron didn't turn; his eyes narrowed and he gave her a harsh stare. "I'm not stupid. You have nowhere to run, Rikkma. If that's even your real name."

"I never said you were stupid," Rikku countered quickly, scooting away from Auron. Not that it meant she could go very far; the platform the disc had dumped them onto was relatively small.

"Then why do you continue to lie?" he replied. His stern expression softened slightly as he watched her fidget uncomfortably. "I just saved your life. The least you can do is tell me who you really are."

_Would that change things?_ Rikku wondered silently to herself. Auron wasn't blind; with everything they had been through by now, surely he would have recognized her when she washed up on the shore of the Moonflow in front of Tidus years ago. Which left the question of why he didn't say anything when they first met. True, she had only been sixteen years old at the time, but four years couldn't change a person that much, could they? So it shouldn't really matter if she told him her name or not, she reasoned. She looked at Auron, who was still studying her with fierce intensity.

_But a name has power._

The silence stretched thin between them, and Auron's patience ran out. He stood up and turned away from her to inspect the glowing sphere in the alcove. Rikku didn't miss the disgusted look on his face, though, and clasped her hands together tightly. Even now, even as a stranger and a Yevonite at that, she wanted more than anything to have his respect if nothing else.

"Rikku," she said quietly.

Auron stopped and looked at her. "And the airship? Are they more than just thousand-year-old legends too?"

Rikku bit her lip. "If you don't like it when I lie, then don't ask me that," she replied, rolling to her feet. "I can't tell you."

He studied her for a moment longer before turning back to the sphere with a grunt. "Fair enough. Thank you, Rikku."

Auron didn't seem to be too knowledgeable about Cid's family tree, and Rikku let out a soft sigh of relief. Still, she wasn't quite optimistic enough to assume that Braska was similarly uninformed. "You won't tell the others, will you?" she asked cautiously, approaching his side.

"You've proven trustworthy so far," Auron admitted grudgingly. "But why hide your name? Are you a wanted criminal among the Al Bhed?" He kept his tone neutral, but once again Rikku sensed that he was asking more on Braska's behalf than hers.

"It's not what you think," Rikku said quickly. "It'd just be better for everybody if they didn't know," she added ambiguously, reaching out to take the sphere.

"No!" Auron caught her outstretched hand and Rikku froze and swallowed.

"Please …" she began tremulously, quaking with growing fear. "You can blackmail me, or tell me to get lost after this if you don't want me around anymore. You can even turn me back in to the temple guards," she said quickly. "Just whatever you do, please, please, please don't tell Braska my real name!" she pleaded in a tiny, desperate voice.

Something flickered across Auron's face briefly before his stern mask fell back into place, and his grip on her fingers tightened. "We don't know what will happen if you remove that sphere," he said gruffly.

"Sphere?" she trailed off in confusion. Then she blinked and looked at the alcove. "Oh!" Rikku flushed deeply and pulled her fingers out of his grasp. _Like, duh! Get your head on straight, Rikku!_ "Well, what else are we gonna do with it?" she said quickly, giving him a cheeky glare which she hoped covered the scope of her embarrassment.

"We need to return to the others and speak with them about this first," Auron replied, turning back to the pillar and pushing it onto the walkway. Rikku took the opportunity to snatch the sphere out of the alcove despite his warning. When he turned around and saw what she had done, the more familiar, safer look of annoyance crossed his face. She happily ignored it in favour of dancing in place, holding the Bevelle sphere above her head.

"Nothing bad happened, see?" she chirped. "Now we can go back to the others. We'll have this puzzle solved in no time, promise!"

"Unbelievable," she heard Auron mutter under his breath as he held out his arm. "Hold on more tightly this time," he instructed her curtly when he found her staring at it in shock. "And you have my word."

Rikku looked up from Auron's outstretched arm and into his face. "What word?" she asked dumbly.

"I won't inform Lord Braska of your deception. You have your reasons. As long as they don't endanger the Pilgrimage, you may keep them to yourself."

As she took his outstretched arm, Rikku was sure the smile stretching over her face was bright enough to light up the entire cavern.

**.x.x.x.**

"No time" actually translated into roughly three hours for Braska's small party; with some gentle prodding, Rikku had managed to assist Auron in unlocking the secret of the spheres, facing only a slight hitch in their progress when he came across the destruction sphere.

When it crystallized out of nothingness before their eyes, even Rikku couldn't deny the aura of evil radiating from the small pink globe. She knew the sphere held only a tiny portion of the desperation and hate that drove the awesome power of Anima. The cloister itself might have been a miracle of machina construction, but the spheres found within were more closely bound to the summoned magic of the aeons than any machine. It confirmed her suspicion that Seymour, who was in theory still living in exile on the island of Baaj, already possessed the dark aeon's powers. The destruction sphere felt too cold in her hands even as it burned brightly against the darkness, filled with the almost tangible hate of the only permanent aeon capable of surpassing even Bahamut's powers. It would have been uncomfortable trying to justify to the others why such an openly evil tool could be used in conjunction with the temples of Yevon at all. And Rikku was feeling particularly uncharitable; having once been on the receiving end of Anima's attacks courtesy of a Maester, she didn't even bother to try. Instead she wordlessly handed the sphere to Auron and let him deal with it.

Auron had taken the discovery in stride; the shock of seeing machina in a temple either prepared him for each new revelation, or at least numbed his response to them. The worry line creased between his eyebrows was beginning to look permanently engrained, though. After finding the destruction sphere, they had silently agreed to press on and solve the rest of the labyrinth together before returning to Braska and revealing what they had unearthed to him. Thankfully, the destruction sphere itself was soon destroyed as they unlocked the path to the Chamber of the Fayth.

When they finally returned to the maze entrance to rejoin their companions, another good portion of time was spent arguing how best to travel down the lit pathways. The disc would hold no more than two people at a time safely. Auron had instantly assigned Rikku to look after Jecht while he offered to guide Braska through the maze. Rikku, fearing she would be left behind when Braska entered the Chamber of the Fayth, had protested and demanded to guide the Summoner herself. That sparked a tense argument which lasted longer than it had taken them to unravel the puzzle of the destruction sphere. In the end it was Braska who resolved the conflict with his calm assurances that he would wait for Jecht and Rikku's arrival before praying to the fayth. And that was how Rikku found herself saddled with Jecht as they rode the disc up towards the highest level of the Cloister.

"That was even better than surfin'!" Jecht exclaimed happily as he stepped off of the disc. "Are all cloister trials this fun?"

Feeling slightly wobblier than her massive companion, Rikku followed him and landed on her knees, thankfully hugging the solid, non-moving stone beneath her. "Thank Ixion they aren't," she groaned. Pushing herself up, she carefully extracted the Bevelle sphere she had managed to grab on the way out of the maze from her belt pouch.

"You need to learn to live a little," Jecht complained. "Admit it, it was a fun ride!"

"Maybe for you," Rikku groaned, lurching towards the wall. "You didn't spend two hours with Grumpy trying to solve this thing! If I never see another electric path again, it'll be too soon."

Jecht only laughed loudly at her. "Like you minded that alone time with Big Red! I bet you couldn't keep your hands off each other."

Rikku turned around and stuck her tongue out at Jecht. "You're such a pervert! Did it ever occur to you that a guy and a girl could be friends without needing to jump all over each other?"

"Lemmie think about it …" Jecht said, stroking his chin thoughtfully as his eyes narrowed. Then he grinned at Rikku. "Nope! 'Sides, a stiff like Auron couldn't make normal friends if his life depended on it. So are you two an item already or what?"

Rikku nearly screamed in frustration as she slammed the sphere into the recess hidden in the wall. "Auron doesn't even like me that way, you … you … big tattooed freak!" she grumbled. _Not that I would mind if he did …_

"… clueless blonde …" she heard Jecht muttering under his breath. He watched with interest as the swirling patterns on the floor slowly filled with light from the sphere and a glowing path formed out of seemingly nowhere in mid-air. "Neat trick," he commented, looking back to the source of the glow. "You sure this is safe?" he added, cautiously testing the newly formed path with a foot.

Rikku smirked and sprinted past him, twirling around on the suspended glowing bridge in delight. "Pretty sure!" she laughed.

"Rikkma! What are you doing?" Braska's shocked voice brought her out of her dance and she windmilled slightly before regaining her balance. "Where did that come from?" he asked, cautiously prodding at the path with his staff.

Auron was behind him, not bothering to eye the path critically, choosing instead to bestow that honour on Rikku herself. "I thought I told you not to waste any more time in the labyrinth."

"Well you were wrong and I was right, so there!" Rikku pouted, planting her hands on her hips and pouting obviously. "Trust me, I have a nose for treasure!" she said, turning and skipping down the pathway.

Auron began to protest, but Braska held up a hand and stopped him. "She's right. We're low on funds right now, and a little treasure hunting certainly wouldn't hurt." Carefully, he followed Rikku down the precarious walk, Auron and Jecht following closely behind.

When they reached the end of the pathway, Rikku was already kneeling in front of a treasure chest in the centre of the large platform, playing with the lock. She let out a small squeak of triumph as a loud click was heard and the top of the chest swung open. Then she let out another louder, though short-lived scream.

"What's up?" Jecht asked, peering over her shoulder. Then, frowning, he reached down and grabbed the treasure, pulling it out easily. "It's just an ugly lookin' sword. Seems like something Auron would get excited about," he mussed, hefting it into the air and turning it around in the dim light.

"No," Rikku said quickly, her eyes still wide as she watched Jecht drop the sword's tip into the ground with a loud thunk. "I think it's more suited for you."

The sword in question was oddly beautiful, even if a bit unwieldy; the thick blackened blade was ornamented with a few swirling blood red patterns and dangling chains; it was even larger than Auron's own heavy sword. Jecht managed to lift it easily, however, though he obviously lacked Auron's finesse when handling the massive blade.

What struck Rikku speechless was the fact that she knew it was meant to be Jecht's sword. It was a smaller version of the sword he had wielded in their final battle against him; the trident-shaped tip and twisting red patterns were unmistakable. There was something else about it that was also unmistakable; the true power of the blade was still locked away inside of its depths, but Rikku could feel the power thrumming through the metal from the moment she opened the chest. It was a Celestial weapon, she was sure of it.

"What luck!" Braska said with a note of relief. "A magic blade, even. Truly, this is a fortunate find. And it looks like I've finally managed to win this argument after all," he added with a hint of smugness as Jecht scowled at him.

"I ain't usin' no sword," the blitzball player protested immediately, trying to hand the blade off to Auron.

"That looks more like a bat than a sword to me," Auron countered, refusing to take it. "Keep it, Jecht." The beginnings of a smirk twisted at his lips. "A sword as clumsy as that one obviously deserves to be wielded by a fitting patron."

Jecht scowled, lifting the sword and slashing through the air experimentally a few times. "Laugh it up, asshole," he muttered sourly. Then he paused and gave Auron a cocky grin. "But hey. Mine's bigger than yours!"

Rikku dropped her head and groaned silently. "Oh boy, here we go," she muttered quietly. Braska chuckled under his breath and helped her to her feet as the two men faced off.

"Size isn't important," Auron replied, drawing his own sword and spinning it around deftly. "You have to know how to wield it properly first."

"You callin' me stupid?" Jecht huffed. Auron's telling silence was a large enough answer. "Anytime, pal," Jecht grunted, leaning on his sword menacingly. "You an' me. I'll show you how good this sword is first-hand."

"Is that a challenge?" Auron replied in a bored tone.

"Rikkma, are you alright? You look quite flushed."

Braska's worried question broke her attention away from Auron and Jecht's posturing, and Rikku coughed slightly. "Sorry! Just choking on that smell in the air," she explained. Sniffing dramatically, she wrinkled her nose and made an exaggerated wave in front of her face. "Phew, stinks like a couple of bloated male egos. I just hope they don't start peeing on each others' shoes next!"

Braska began to laugh quietly, and Rikku pitched her voice to be slightly louder. "If you boys are going to go at it with your great big swords, I definitely want a front row seat!" She gave Auron and Jecht a flirtatious wink; the former put his sword away immediately, while the latter stared at her incredulously.

"Who're you callin' a pervert now, woman?" Jecht said after a moment, slinging the large sword over his shoulder.

"What can I say? It's just too easy sometimes." Rikku smirked. "Besides, I think you're rubbing off on me."

"Yevon help us all," Auron muttered under his breath as he stomped back towards the Chamber of the Fayth.

"Jecht. Rikkma. It's time to go," Braska interrupted, the humour falling away from his face.

Rikku swallowed and nodded, trailing behind the men slowly. Her spirits sank with each step closer to the shrine; soon, they would reach Bahamut's chamber, and her short-lived adventure with Braska and his Guardians would be coming to an end. A tiny smile flickered across her face; the door Bahamut had opened had spilled her into an adventure that was nothing like she had expected. She found herself falling into the old routines of a Pilgrimage more easily than she liked to admit. It was in large part thanks to the three men she was accompanying; Braska, kind and gentle, inspired friendship and loyalty in almost everyone he met. Jecht's rough-and-tumble exterior hid a good heart, even if wasn't apparent at first glance. And Auron? He might have been lacking the wisdom that age and death had brought with it, but in many ways he was still the same driven, dedicated man that she remembered so fondly. And she was finally starting to earn his trust; though Auron had given it freely when they first met on Yuna's Pilgrimage, it was somehow more precious to her now that she had to fight tooth and nail for every grudging inch he granted her. Rikku was finding it unexpectedly difficult to wish each of the men their silent goodbyes; they barely knew each other, but it still somehow felt like she would be leaving real friends behind.

The hymn of the faith swelled to an almost painful volume as she scaled the steps, and a small shiver passed down her spine. It was easy to forget about Sin when surrounded by laughs and cheer; the haunting melody of the fayth brought it back clearly. "I don't belong here," she whispered under her breath. Clenching her fists, she sprinted the rest of the way up the steps.

Braska was already at the forefront of the anteroom, bowing respectfully before the heavy stone door, which sealed off the altar. His face was drawn in concentration; only two things could lift the stone seals which protected the statues of the fayth: the prayers of a petitioning Summoner or plain old brute strength. Braska straightened, and the door to the chamber slowly slid upwards; Rikku knew it would be her only chance to get inside; she was faster than Auron and Braska, and Jecht wouldn't know any better to stop her. The muscles in her legs tensed as she prepared to sprint -

The hymn of the faith was loud, now, drowning out all other sounds in the room, though the others didn't even seem to notice it. Braska straightened before the open door. Jecht slumped onto the floor, his mouth forming words as he asked something. Auron crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, and answered him. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion.

_Move. MOVE!_ Rikku strained to push herself forward, but her body was frozen. The air was heavy with a stifling presence that reverberated through the room; it was the essence of Bahamut, almost tangible and so oppressive that she couldn't bring herself to move, even breathe. Why couldn't anyone else feel it? Her eyes strayed back towards Braska and widened; he could feel it, she realized with a shock. Braska swayed slightly, the only sign that gave him away, before stepping forward into the dark passage. The door began to slide closed behind him, and Rikku struggled and pushed with every ounce of energy she had; she managed to take a shaking step forward as a low, guttural moan of dismay erupted from between her lips.

Auron was looking at her now, his brows drawn together in concern, and Jecht was clambering to his feet. Rikku ignored them, caught up in the descent of the heavy stone seal. _No!_ she wanted to scream. _You can't leave me here! I DON'T BELONG HERE!_

The door sealed shut with a silent click, and the heaviness evaporated as suddenly as it had come, sending Rikku onto her hands and knees as it left her body forcefully. She wheezed heavily, sucking air into her lungs, and blinked away the sting of her tears. The first few formed in part because of the physical pain she had endured from struggling against Bahamut's power, but more leaked out as she realized that returning to her own time wasn't going to be as simple as demanding an audience with the fayth.

There were hands on her arms, Rikku noticed dully; they lifted her to her feet and dragged her to the stairs, where she was turned and seated carefully. She blinked, looking up, and noticed Jecht was staring at her; his lips were moving and with a start she realized he was talking to her. Shaking her head to clear it, she concentrated on him and sound slowly returned to her surroundings.

"… the hell is wrong with you?" he was asking, waving a hand in front of her face.

"This has happened once before." Auron's voice now, low and concerned; Rikku turned her head slightly and saw that he was also standing before her with a frown on his face. "There was a similar episode in the temple, when we first met."

"Eh?" Jecht said, leaning back on his heels. "You think she's sick?"

Rikku dropped her head onto her knees and groaned. "I'm not sick," she mumbled dejectedly.

"I thought you said these attacks weren't normal," Auron told her, his tone slightly accusing.

Rikku didn't bother to lift her head. "They're not. I never got them before. I don't know why it's happening, honest," she said wearily. She had a good idea, though. Somehow it was caused by the fayth, she was certain of that. Bahamut didn't want to see her, let alone help her return to her time. She shuddered again, coldness washing over her as the knowledge sunk in. For the first time the possibility dawned that maybe, just maybe, there wasn't going to be a chance for Rikku to return to her Spira. "I'm stuck," she whispered with a small, panicked giggle. "I'm really stuck here."

"You say somethin'?" Jecht asked her.

Rikku shook her head on her knees, still afraid to look up. "Leave me alone for now, Jecht," she mumbled. She heard him snort and move away, then heard the soft rustle of cloth.

"Rikku, are you alright?" Auron asked her quietly.

Rikku sniffed miserably. She wanted to stand up and beat on the stone door of the chamber; she wanted to scream that nothing was alright at the top of her lungs, not the least of which being that he kneeling right next to her and asking how she felt when by all rights he should be dead.

"I'm fine," she replied out loud, tightening her grip around her knees. "Just fine."


	9. Personal Revelations

**- 9: Personal Revelations - **

Jecht was not a morning person. This became apparent to the others as he shuffled into Braska's kitchen blearily and searched the countertop with sloppy disregard, knocking bottles and containers over noisily.

"The coffee's right here," Rikku said helpfully, holding up her own mug.

"Screw the coffee," Jecht grunted. "You got any booze?"

Braska carefully placed his own mug of coffee down and pinned Jecht under a disapproving glare. "I don't drink," he said simply. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't while in my house, either."

Jecht swayed and then grumbled in acquiescence, reaching instead for an empty cup and helping himself to some of the coffee. "Don't see the problem," he grunted. "You let Auron carry that jug around with him wherever he goes."

"That," Braska replied, "is different. All high-ranking warrior monks learn how to use blessed wine as a part of their combat training."

Jecht blinked and took a long gulp of his coffee; after belching noisily - "Eww, morning breath!" Rikku helpfully supplied - he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and grinned at Braska. "Really! So where do I sign up?"

Braska sighed and returned to his own small breakfast of fruit and coffee. "I want to spend some time with Yuna today," he told them. "Please understand. We'll be leaving the city early tomorrow, so you're free until then. But at least for today I would like to have some time alone with my daughter."

"Sure, whatever," Jecht grunted easily. Then he scrunched his brows and looked around the table. "Where's Auron anyway?" he asked, directing the question at Rikku.

"How should I know?" she complained. Then she stared at Jecht with narrowed eyes as a smirk began to form over his lips. "Don't answer that, it's too early to deal with your perverted jokes right now."

"Auron should be outside, training." Braska collected his now-empty plate and stood up, depositing his dishes in the washbasin. "I'm going to wake Yuna. The city is yours for the day." A small smile crossed his face. "Do try to stay out of trouble," he added.

"Who, us? Trouble?" Rikku said innocently. She ignored Braska's amused chuckle and returned her attention back to her own breakfast, which was more of an exercise in food sculpture than an actual attempt to eat. Rikku hadn't actually had much of an appetite since their return from the temple yesterday.

"You gonna eat that?" Jecht groused, and Rikku shrugged and willingly pushed her plate over to him. The soothing sound of Braska's voice floated into the room as he spoke to Yuna; Rikku blinked sleepily and planted her chin into a palm and thought about their trip back from the temple the previous day.

Braska had been successful in obtaining his first aeon, though like his daughter, it had taken the man an extraordinarily long time to do so. He had emerged from the altar looking pale and exhausted, and the small group hadn't managed to do much more than return to his apartment for the night to allow him to recover from the ordeal. Rikku wasn't in any mood to argue with the decision; she was feeling fairly drained herself, though sleep didn't find her as easily as she had hoped.

Instead, Rikku had spent the night watching Yuna sleep as she twisted over possibilities and scenarios in her mind, trying to conjure up a way out of her waking nightmare. Not that she had anything against the current company; rather, the omnipresent threat of Sin, the more nebulous danger of Shuyin and Vegnagun, and even the as-of-yet still teenaged Seymour worried continually at the edges of her mind. In the end, she had only managed to reach two concrete conclusions: that if Bahamut wanted to be kind, he should have taken her memories when he threw her back, and that her next best hope to return would be to find a way into this world's Farplane. If anything, she could always fling herself off into the mists once more and hope for a repeat performance. Or a messy death. But hey, at least it would be in the Farplane, rather than one of the temples. Or worse yet, in the aftermath of one of Sin's random attacks.

The only monkey wrench in Rikku's plan was that outsiders, much less Summoners and their parties, were hardly welcome in Guadosalam. It was true that Lord Jyscal had already been quite busy proselytizing to his people for years, but the sheer lack of Guado even on the streets of Bevelle clued Rikku to the potential difficulty of being granted an audience within the xenophobic city. It was still enough of an answer to finally let her fall into an uneasy sleep; it didn't keep away the nightmares, however, and she woke fairly early, before either Yuna or Jecht.

Not before Braska, however, who she found sitting alone at the table, plagued by his own demons. And of course not before Auron, who along with his sword was already missing from the tiny apartment. She and Braska hadn't exchanged any words then, just a meeting of eyes and a morbid silence. Unable to take it, Rikku had finally gotten up and puttered around the kitchen, pulling out mugs and jars until she found Braska's stash of coffee and applied herself to preparing a pot.

"You're really going to do this," she had stated when she was finished, setting a mug in front of him.

He took it from her gratefully and bowed his head. "It's not fair to Yuna," he admitted. "But it is all I have left to give her."

"No it's not!" Rikku blurted out then. "You're just taking the easy way out, you know that? Yunie doesn't need a Calm, she needs a dad!"

Braska had looked at her, laughing without humour, and nodded. "You're partially right. I am a selfish man." And then, his eyes filling with pain, he had reached out and clasped her hand. "More than anything else, I wish to see my wife again. If it was not for Yuna …" he trailed off distantly.

Rikku heard it then, in his voice; he wanted to die, and it had nothing to do with Sin or the Pilgrimage at all. His fingers tightened around hers and he was looking at her, but not seeing her. "Raenn," he murmured softly. "Would that you were real. I would give anything to see you again." Rikku felt a shiver pass through her. Weren't those her thoughts reflected in his face? Her own desires, the unvoiced ones that had formed Auron's own image on the Farplane? Scared by the intensity of his words, she had extracted her palm from his grip and stared at the floor. The movement woke Braska, and he caught her eyes.

"I am not selfish enough to take that journey without giving something back as well. You're wrong, you see. Yuna does need a Calm. Every man, woman and child in Spira needs the Calm. I will not have my daughter raised in fear as well as exile."

"Even if it means she has to be alone?"

Braska closed his eyes and smiled wryly. "If I manage to bring the Calm, she will never be alone."

"That's not what I meant!" Rikku snapped. "She won't have _you._"

"She will have to manage." The tense silence that had risen in the wake of Braska's uncompromising reply remained in place until Jecht's bumbling interruption. Still, Rikku was in no mood to deal with the blitzball player's ignorant good humour, so she left him at the table and wandered aimlessly towards the door.

"Say hi to Auron when you see him," Jecht hooted after her.

"Who said I'm looking for him?" Rikku yelled over her shoulder, scowling and resisting the urge to slam the door behind her. She stomped down the narrow staircase and skipped out into the empty street, casually glancing over her surroundings. Auron was nowhere in sight, and Rikku huffed and paced restlessly across the sidewalk in front of the building.

"I'm so not looking for him," she repeated to herself even as her feet carried her back up the stairwell. She passed Braska's door and continued upward, steadily climbing until she reached the door to the roof. Easing it open carefully, she peered out onto the rooftop.

Auron was practicing just as Braska said. He must have been there for some time already; the red coat was neatly folded next to the door, and his ever-present jug was lying on top of it. Shutting the door, Rikku seated herself carefully and admired the show.

He hadn't yet noticed her; he continued to sling his blade through the air in clean, focused strikes. Auron's mastery of the blade was a thing of beauty; he moved fluidly through each twist and slash as though the motions were effortless. She admired the finely muscled curve of his arms, which were covered with a thin layer of sweat that glistened in the morning light. They were strong and sharply defined, and in her opinion much too often hidden beneath the folds of his thick red coat. She fleetingly thought of hacking the sleeves of said coat off with her daggers while he wasn't looking, even going so far as to pick up the fabric and rub it beneath her fingers.

Auron whirled around, slashing his sword downwards with a grunt. His eyes widened with surprise, but he checked the motion of his swing precisely at the moment he saw her. Rikku was mildly impressed; he managed to hold the blade perfectly still despite its weight and the force of his own strike. Then again, by the time they had finally faced Sin together, Auron was even better with the sword than he was now.

"Enjoying yourself?" Auron asked dryly.

"Oh, don't stop just because of little ol' me!" Rikku offered cheerfully, giving him a small wave and nervously tucking his coat back underneath the jug.

"I don't think so," Auron told her, hitching the sword over his back and approaching her slowly. He leant over and grabbed his coat, inspecting it for damage before quickly donning it, and then to her surprise settled next to her on the ground. Rikku sniffed slightly and made a face; perspiration might have looked good on him, but it smelled anything but.

"Do you do this every morning?" she asked him curiously.

Auron nodded silently, wiping away some of the sweat from his forehead.

Rikku let out a disappointed sigh. "Then I think I'm really going to miss showers when we start travelling."

The low noise that came out of Auron's throat could have been either a grunt of annoyance or an amused chuckle; it died out quickly and he regarded her thoughtfully. "So you've decided to stay with us beyond Bevelle, then?" he asked her.

"I think I don't have much of a choice," Rikku admitted. Then she smiled brightly at him. "Besides, you guys are starting to grow on me. I thought maybe I should stick around and keep you from murdering Jecht."

The rumble that came out of Auron's throat next was definitely a laugh. "By providing us with a new target?" he finished for her, uncapping his jug and lifting it to his lips.

"Whoa!" Rikku yelled, her eyes growing large. "I thought Braska said that was holy combat juice or something!"

Auron lowered the jug. "It is," he answered with a straight face.

Rikku scowled at him. "Well isn't it a little too soon for that, huh?"

"I have to find some way to deal with you this early in the morning."

Now she stared openly at him. He looked back at her impassively, and that's when it struck her. "You just made a joke!" she told him accusingly, sticking her finger into his face. Not that she wasn't delighted to have witnessed it, but the more immediate concern was that she was the butt of it, and that, in Rikku's mind, was clearly unacceptable.

"So I did," Auron mused. "It must be the wine." This time the amusement in his voice was evident.

Gaping, Rikku crossed her arms. "I should've snitched your sleeves while I had the chance," she huffed. "So much for being nice!"

"Rikku," Auron said, and she quieted down immediately. The amusement in his tone had died out, and he half-turned to look at her. "These … attacks you've been having," he began. "Do you have any idea of what might be causing them?"

"Maybe," Rikku said uncertainly. "But I don't wanna talk about it, okay?"

Auron frowned. "My condition for secrecy is that you do not hinder Braska's Pilgrimage. If these attacks are going to become a liability -"

Rikku groaned. "I'm not going to become a liability, okay?" She crossed her arms stubbornly and glared at Auron. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"You are persistent," Auron admitted.

Rikku smiled at him and flipped a braid away from her face. "One of my better qualities, of course!" she bragged. Her smile faltered and dropped when she realized that he wasn't about to give up.

"What is it that you really want?" he asked. It was an honest question for once; not one stacked with ulterior motives and double meanings. He was asking for her, not Braska. It made her smile, though the question still left her confused. So she voiced her confusion.

"Whatcha mean?"

Auron stared out into the open expanse of sky, or at least what could be seen of it from within the crowded confines of Bevelle. Rikku followed his example and squinted at the small strip of blue, which shone brightly over the dark, gloomy buildings surrounding them. It really did feel like Bevelle existed in a completely different world from the rest of Spira. For a brief moment Rikku found herself wishing Sin would come and attack the city, tearing down its man-made barriers and forcing its residents to rejoin the rest of the world outside. Then the moment passed and was replaced with a deep-rooted shame for having even thought of it.

"What are you searching for?" Auron's deep voice swept away the guilty reflection, demanding her attention. "You obviously don't believe in the teachings of Yevon, but you are still here, and a Guardian no less."

Rikku slumped slightly. "Once upon a time," she said quietly, "someone told me that the fayth are the ones who give power to the Summoners. Not the temples and not the teachings." She smiled abstractedly. "Just because I don't like Yevon doesn't mean I can't be a good Guardian."

Auron considered her reply before speaking once more. "That doesn't answer the question."

Rikku leaned back onto her elbows and stretched out her legs. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of the air and the warmth of the morning sun. If she pretended, she could almost imagine that she wasn't surrounded by the dingy, dirty slums of Bevelle. She could be lying on the deck of the Celsius, lazing around while waiting for Buddy to report on the next round of sphere waves and complaining to herself about how busy she was doing nothing important.

"I want a world without Sin," she replied without hesitation. "… I want to go home."

Auron, of course, didn't understand. "Then why don't you?" he asked bluntly.

"I would if I could but I can't, okay?" Rikku shouted at him bitterly, abruptly breaking the peaceful atmosphere between them.

He recoiled slightly, then answered her just as harshly. "So you chose a Guardian's path simply because you have nothing better to do with yourself."

Rikku winced. "That's not what I meant! I really do want to see a world without Sin," she told him, her anger deflating with every word. "I know it's possible."

"Lord Braska will bring the Calm, whether you are with us or not." Auron glared at her coldly, and she could almost see all the progress she had made in befriending him the past two days crumbling away. She tried to take comfort from the fact that he was still talking to her, but his tone was cold and businesslike, and it made her heart sink. "If you can't even decide on your own goals, then you will fail in your duty as a Guardian. You'll have to make up your mind."

Rikku froze, chilled by his words. _You'll have to choose what you love more in the end._ "Is that what you meant?" she asked softly, feeling her insides twist. His whispered question made sense now, she realized; she cursed herself for having clung to her memory of Auron so tightly that it had blinded her to his sacrifice. Braska and Yuna's sacrifice. Jecht and Tidus' sacrifice. She had wished for the world to stand still just for herself, and her wish had been granted. And now here she was, with the power to change everything. She could destroy Spira - all for a foolish, selfish crush on a man long dead. If she had been grateful, she would have been congratulating Yuna and Tidus on their new life together, rather than watching them jealously from the sidelines; flirting with Gippal rather than spurning his advances in favour of moping on the Farplane. She should have spent her time _living with what was_ rather than wishing for _what could have been._ Now Auron was here, whole and young and alive, and more receptive to her advances than he had ever been before (though that still wasn't saying much). The only price she had to pay for her dream was Spira's happiness.

_He knew I could never choose that. _

The irony of her "victory" made her laugh out loud. Auron was looking at her strangely, and Rikku smiled at him. "Hey Auron," she said lightly. "Did you know that being in love feels like walking on pins and needles?"

His eyebrows drew together and he looked away, caught off guard. "I wouldn't know," he answered.

Rikku let herself sprawl all the way down onto the ground, staring up into the sky. "Yeah, you do know," she corrected him. "You love Braska."

"Are you implying that I -" he began indignantly, but Rikku cut him off.

"You're not Jecht. Stop thinking those weird perverted thoughts!" she snapped.

Auron opened his mouth to protest, and then closed it. A shadow crossed his face, followed by a wry smile. "… yes," he said after a moment of silent consideration. "Yes, it does feel that way, doesn't it."

He turned to face her, but Rikku avoided his gaze. After her revelation, she couldn't bear to look into his eyes. It was immeasurably worse than wishing for Sin to destroy Bevelle.

"You're a strange riddle," Auron finally told her. "You want to help us, but you abhor the Summoner's path. You wish for the Calm, but you disapprove of the Pilgrimage. You want to return to your home, but you remain with us."

"I guess I'm just a gal who wants it all," Rikku answered dully.

She heard Auron standing up; from her position on the ground, seeing his face was unavoidable. He was looking at her with a strange mix of pity and confusion. "I don't know your secrets, but I can tell you this much. You cannot be of two minds, Rikku."

Rikku turned her head slightly and stared at him; it was painful, considering how bright the backdrop of the sky was against his darkly shaded face. Separate worlds, she thought.

"Choose one path, and follow it with all your heart. It will make things …"

"Easier?" Rikku supplied.

"… simpler," he answered. He turned to leave, and Rikku tilted her head back to watch him.

"Hey, where are you going?" she asked.

He paused and turned back towards her; the hint of a dry smile tugged at his lips. "Apparently I need a shower." He pulled open the door to the building and stepped through, and Rikku watched until it shut softly behind him.

"You aren't making it any easier, stupid-head," she said softly.

**.x.x.x. **

After Auron left, Rikku had fallen asleep on the rooftop. When she finally woke and returned to Braska's apartment that afternoon, not much had changed. Auron was sitting on the couch, idly flipping through a book, while Jecht was lounging in the kitchen. She had taken one look around the room and decided that she needed a distraction, and the party was definitely not happening there.

"I'm bored!" Rikku rolled on the balls of her feet, swaying back and forth in front of Auron while pouting.

Auron looked up from the book he was reading and glared at her. "Go bother someone else."

"Meanie." Rikku stuck out her tongue and flounced away from the couch, making her way to the kitchen table. Jecht sprawled over a chair there, looking just as bored as she felt. "I'm bored!" she repeated to him.

Jecht didn't bother to move, only rolling his eyes in her direction. "So am I!" he complained.

"Well, what should we do?" she asked, planting her hands on her hips. "Braska still isn't back yet, and it's way long before it'll get dark outside!"

Jecht grunted and finally roused himself out of his lazy slump. "Well … how 'bout we explore the city?" he started.

"No," Auron called out from the couch, not bothering to look up.

"Hey!" Rikku and Jecht yelled simultaneously.

"No," Auron repeated with authority. "You two stick out like a sore thumb. The last thing we need is to have either of you getting arrested again. Besides, you have no money," he added, looking pointedly at Rikku. "Stay indoors and keep your heads low. We leave Bevelle tomorrow."

"Aw, man!" Jecht groaned, melting back into his seat. "Wish you hadn't busted up the damn blitzball," he grumbled loudly.

"Hmph," Auron grunted with a note of malicious satisfaction.

Rikku was unwilling to accept defeat as easily as Jecht did. She let her eyes rove around the tiny apartment until they settled on the two massive swords propped against the corner of the sitting room. "Hey Jecht." She kicked at the sole of his foot lightly to get his attention, and he twitched in annoyance.

"Whatcha want, Blondie?"

"Lemmie see your sword again!" Rikku told him, pointing at it.

Jecht lolled his head back. "You can see fine it from here."

Rikku sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but I can't lift it!" Jecht grunted and made no attempt to move, and Rikku stomped her foot on the ground. "Jecht!" she yelled shrilly.

"Alright, alright!" he groaned, slouching out of his seat and towards his sword. He grabbed it and hefted it into the air. "Happy now?"

Rikku skipped up to him and began to study the blade carefully. The black metal thrummed with power underneath her fingertips; it was so saturated with magic energy that it almost tingled. Despite that, there was no obvious benefit, magical or otherwise, to using the sword as anything other than just another sharp edge. Neither she nor Braska had managed to figure out how to unlock the secrets hidden within the blade. "You can feel it, can't you?" she asked, lightly stroking the red runes. "This sword is special."

"It don't feel all that special to me," Jecht said, pulling it away from her.

Rikku pursed her lips together in exasperation. "That's because you don't know how to use it yet, dork!" she replied. "You're not much of a caster, are you."

"I know a little white magic!" Jecht protested, and Rikku gawked at him. Auron also set his book aside and looked up in surprise.

"You know magic," he repeated, his expression clearly indicating his disbelief.

Jecht grumbled and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah. Well all I really know is a little haste spell and how to do some scannin'. S'good for blitzin' … and scopin' out the ladies."

Auron relaxed into his chair again with a look of disgust. "I should have guessed," he mumbled, once again disinterested in their conversation.

"Perv," Rikku mumbled under her breath. "And don't you dare try that on me! I have eyes in the back of my head!"

"No you don't," Jecht countered. "I checked already." He laughed loudly as Rikku spent a few moments fuming at him.

"Well if you know magic, how can you not feel it?" Rikku asked, smacking the blade into the floor. The tip landed heavily in the threadbare carpet, giving it a new tear.

"Don't do that," Auron droned from the couch, flipping to a new page. "Go outside if you're going to manhandle that thing."

Jecht rolled his eyes and Rikku glared at Auron ineffectually. Then she shifted her attention back to the sword. "You really can't feel it? I mean this thing is practically oozing magic!"

"I can feel it just fine," Jecht replied. "It doesn't do nothin' special though, besides feel weird when I touch it." He grimaced and tried to stow his sword back into the corner, but Rikku stopped him.

"Don't you want to learn how to use it at least?" she asked.

"Nope," Jecht replied, easily pulling the sword out of her grasp.

Rikku pouted. "I thought you said you were bored!" she told him accusingly.

"I ain't that bored!" Jecht growled. "Get back to buggin' Auron already!"

"Fine, I will!" Rikku huffed, stomping over to the couch and stopping in front of Auron. He remained engrossed in his book, but she saw him tense at her approach. "Oh Auron," she called sweetly, swaying back and forth.

"No," Auron said quickly.

Rikku slumped slightly, then scowled at him. "Sheesh, you have a limited vocabulary, don't you!" Auron glowered slightly but refused to put away his book. "C'mon!" Rikku whined insistently. "You know he needs it!"

"The hell?" Jecht interrupted, crossing his arms. "I don't need his help!"

"Stop being so stubborn, both of you!" Rikku yelled, jumping in frustration. "Don't you wanna protect Braska?" That seemed to have struck a nerve, at least with Auron. With a long-suffering sigh, he snapped the book shut and tossed it aside.

"Fine." He stood up and brushed past Rikku and Jecht, grabbing his sword. "I'll be on the rooftop."

"Don't wait up," Jecht called after Auron as he pulled the front door open.

Auron stopped and turned to Rikku, his gaze hard. "Whether or not he decides to come is no concern of mine," he said clearly. Then he slipped out the door, slamming it loudly behind himself.

_Mission__ Train Jecht: Part One, accomplished!_ Rikku cheered silently to herself. Then she put on a stern expression and turned to face the second half of the problem. "Jecht!" she yelled.

"Uh-uh," Jecht said, backing away from her. "I ain't goin'!"

Rikku smiled slyly at him. "You know you're just proving that Auron really is better than you at fighting by acting like such a scaredy-cat!"

Jecht scowled at her stubbornly. "I ain't fallin' for that."

"Falling for what? The truth?" Rikku rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. "Once we hit the road, the first fiend we meet is gonna tear you apart unless you figure out how to use that sword!"

"I'd rather get a few knocks from a fiend than feed that stiff's ego." He scowled and refused to budge.

"His name is Auron and he's not a stiff!" Rikku glared at Jecht and tried a new tactic. "In case you didn't notice, he's trying to help you out here! Now take this sword …" She grabbed onto the handle of Jecht's sword as she spoke and tried to lift it. Not surprisingly, it wasn't happening. Paine had always told her she had the upper body strength of a hypello, and she wasn't far off the mark. "Uhh!" Rikku grunted, only managing to move the sword a few inches before resting it on the floor, where it made yet another new tear in the carpet. "This thing is heavy!"

"You look ridiculous." Jecht was laughing at her. Rikku was going to scowl at him, but then she realized that a laughing Jecht was more likely to reach the rooftop than a sulking one.

"I wouldn't have to do this if you'd just take this stupid sword …" She grunted, dragging the sword forward again and splitting the hapless carpet apart as she did so. _Auron's so gonna kill me,_ she thought nervously. Then Jecht laughed again, and she twitched. _No, he's so gonna kill Jecht when I tell him that this was all his fault._ "… and learn how to use it!" she finished, stopping in front of him.

Jecht sighed and grabbed the sword out of her hand easily. "Gimme that before you wreck the rest of Braska's pad," he told her.

"So you'll go then?" Rikku asked him hopefully, clasping her hands together under her chin.

"Ugh, yeah, alright. But you're gonna owe me for this one, Rikkma," Jecht growled irritably. He strode towards the door, and Rikku cheered silently and then skipped behind him.

"Huh, you're comin' too?" Jecht asked, pausing at the door uncertainly.

Rikku smirked at him and shoved him up the stairs. "Hah, I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

Jecht cursed under his breath as he climbed the stairs and burst out onto the rooftop noisily. Rikku spilled out behind him and quickly plopped herself onto the ground with a large smile.

"Hey hey, let's get this party started!" she called.

Auron turned to face them; he was already waiting for them, leaning on his sword with one arm pushed free from his jacket in his typical fighting style. "You actually came," he said to Jecht.

"Thanks to your harpy," Jecht grumbled.

Rikku stopped cheering and sent a _Rikku Look_ hurtling towards Jecht. "What was that?" she yelled at him.

"She's not my harpy," Auron answered plainly.

"AURON!" Rikku screeched, and he turned to look at her in surprise.

"Why are you upset with me?" he asked with a note of annoyance.

"Duh!" Rikku yelled back, shaking her fist at him. "You're supposed to say 'She's not **A** harpy!'"

His smug look had returned. "… Why?"

The smile on Jecht's face broadened. "Hah! Maybe you're right, Rikkma, he ain't that much of a stiff after all!"

That dropped the smirk off of Auron's face, though it didn't change Rikku's expression at all.

"You both suck," she declared loudly. "Go hit each other with your swords or something!"

Jecht continued to laugh at her until Auron interrupted him with a quiet command.

"Now then," he said firmly. "Come at me."

Jecht scratched the back of his head and leaned on his sword. "Huh?"

Auron grimaced and lifted his sword, sliding into a guard position. "Attack me!" he repeated.

At this Jecht finally picked up his own sword and smiled. "Don't need to ask me twice!" he yelled, running towards Auron and swinging the sword at the other man like a large club.

Rikku thought she saw Auron roll his eyes before he moved, catlike, gracefully sidestepping Jecht's blow. She smiled; it was lesson Auron had already obviously mastered, one she had learned herself from Lulu while travelling together. Jecht was fast, almost as fast as she was, and strong to boot. But Auron knew the strengths and limits of his own body, and trained rigorously to hone the skills he had. You didn't have to be fast when defending, you had to be agile. Auron hadn't actually moved from his original spot where Jecht had struck, he had simply dodged the clumsy strike.

Jecht spun quickly, cleaving downwards with the sword in an attempt to catch Auron off guard. Auron, however, was already prepared and simply blocked the strike, and with a screech of metal whirled the sword around and sent it flying out of Jecht's hands. It landed with a heavy thunk a few paces in front of Rikku's seat.

"Wow," she yelped, wide-eyed. "That was cool!"

"Damn!" Jecht cursed, rubbing his wrist. "That was just luck!"

"It was anything but," Auron countered smoothly. "Get your sword."

"Aw, shaddup," Jecht growled as he stalked over to his weapon. Pulling it out of the ground, he whirled around and rushed at Auron again without warning.

Rikku winced, Auron sighed, and then with a clang of metal, Jecht's sword was spinning through the air again, this time landing on the opposite side of the roof.

"You need to learn how to wield your sword properly," Auron stated. "It's not a blitzball."

Jecht rubbed his head and stood up slowly from where he had been knocked to the ground. "Doesn't matter how I hold the damn thing as long as it ends up stuck in your side," he shot back.

"Idiot," Auron huffed disgustedly. "You'll never manage to break through your opponent's defence until you learn how to handle your own weapon comfortably."

Jecht's face darkened and he bared his teeth at Auron in an ugly growl. "I don't need this bullshit," he ground out, stalking towards the door that led back to the building's interior.

Auron returned the expression with an annoyed grimace of his own, dropping his sword off of his shoulder and slamming it into the ground with a loud thunk. "Humph. I knew this was a waste of time."

Rikku shot up from her seat and stopped Jecht before he could reach the door, cringing at the tension that was crackling between the two angry men. "Hold up! Wait a second, Jecht!" she yelled, grabbing his arm tightly when he pushed past her. He actually did drag her a few paces towards the door despite her struggle to slow him down before he finally stopped. "Come on, you need to learn this stuff. Auron knows what he's talking about!"

Jecht glared at her, his jaw working tightly. "This ain't what I signed up for," he grunted. "Laugh it up all you want. I ain't gonna sit here and be humiliated by the two of you. Get your kicks some other way."

Rikku released his arm with a silent gasp of surprise. She should have guessed; Jecht was a proud, arrogant man, and Auron was giving that pride a very thorough beating. "Sorry …" she mumbled, blushing slightly. "We didn't mean it like that."

"Right," Jecht snorted, crossing his arms and glaring furiously at the door.

"Jecht."

The blitzball player spun around to face Auron, who had hefted his own sword back onto his shoulder. "Eh?" he grunted suspiciously.

"Take up your sword," Auron demanded, inclining his head towards the abandoned blade.

Jecht narrowed his eyes at Auron. "Why the hell should I?"

Auron scowled and looked away, tapping his own blade on his shoulder. "Because you show potential," he admitted grudgingly.

The frown on Jecht's face was replaced by a look of surprise. Taking advantage of the moment, Rikku quickly moved behind the man and pushed him towards his sword. "Go on, Jecht!" she told him cheerfully, ushering him to the sword. Finally Jecht shook her off and picked up the weapon on his own.

"Potential, huh?" he said cautiously, flipping the blade in his hands slowly. "Fine. But I hear either of you laughin' and I walk," he grumbled.

Rikku held her hands up and backed away quickly. "I promise not to laugh! I can't even lift your sword!" she told him with a bright smile.

Auron said nothing, only dipped his head slightly in agreement.

"So …" Jecht said, gripping his sword with both hands and pointing it at Auron.

A faint smile crossed Auron's face and he sunk back into his defensive crouch. "Now, try again."


	10. She Knew No Sin

**- 10: She Knew No Sin -**

Rikku shaded her eyes with a flat hand and looked back at the receding horizon line of the city. "Finally," she breathed to herself, letting a small smile of relief stretch over her face. They were leaving Bevelle at last, and she could feel the pent-up tension inside of herself slowly ebbing away with each step they took.

"Wow!" Yuna's loud gasp was accompanied by a pointing finger. "Is that Macalania Forest?" she asked Braska eagerly, tugging at one of the strips of cloth that hung from his helmet.

"Yes, it is. And no, you can't come with me there. The forest is full of dangerous fiends, it wouldn't be safe."

"But …!" Yuna said stubbornly.

Braska shook his head and bent over, carefully depositing Yuna back onto the ground. "No," he said softly. "You have to go with Marcha now, Yuna. It's time." He reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair away from the little girl's face, giving her a gentle smile.

"I don't wanna go," Yuna said quietly, her eyes bright.

Braska cupped her small chin in his hand, his gaze never leaving her face. "Marcha," he called out.

"My lord," the woman replied, pulling the unresisting girl away from her father. After a few steps, Yuna shook herself free of the large woman's grasp petulantly, but didn't move to approach Braska. Instead, she squeezed her eyes shut and then lifted her chin.

"I'm not gonna cry," she stated proudly. "My dad's gonna be the hero of Spira, so I'm not gonna cry."

Braska smiled and dropped his head. "That's right," he told her, rising to his feet. "I'm ready," he said firmly, turning his head to Auron. "Look after Jecht."

Yuna's eyes lit up at Braska's words, and Marcha pulled the little girl even further away from her father. Rikku blinked and realized Braska was readying his staff, and with a small "oh!" of realization, she quickly scooted away from him as well. Auron approached Jecht, who was scratching his head and the only one not hastily clearing the space around the Summoner.

"Where's everyone goin'?" he asked before Auron wordlessly turned him and shoved him towards Rikku. "Hey, what's the big idea?"

"Daddy's gonna summon!" Yuna told him, her eyes wide with anticipation.

"Summon?" Jecht asked looking up from the little girl with the obvious question plastered across his face.

Rikku smiled and pointed at Braska. "You'll see. Just keep quiet and watch!"

Braska was already poised, his staff held stiffly before him, motionless but for the wind that tugged at his clothes. Then, taking a deep breath, he began to dance. Rikku observed him with mute awe; the Summoner's dance was impressive no matter who performed it. It was something she had never thought she would see again, the staff twirling and dipping as he spun around, robes flying in the unnatural wind that rose around him.

"What the hell …" she heard Jecht gasp out as the sky darkened; the clouds roiled violently, pulled into a whirlwind that echoed Braska's movements. A distant roar was heard, and then the heavens were alight with energy and colour, runes and discs exploding and spinning overhead. And then Rikku saw it, bursting through the clouds, black sinew and golden claws, its massive wings outstretched.

Bahamut the Wise, Lord of Lords, ruler supreme of all summons appeared before them, fully vested with all of his terrible, beautiful, awe-inspiring glory. He swooped from the sky, landing before them with a crash and sending clods of earth flying. Slowly he straightened and crossed his arms, his glowing eyes peering down at Braska as if to judge him.

Braska lowered his staff and stared up at the huge creature, his eyes wide with shock. There was no fear, though, just a muted surprise as the two silently studied each other. A low rumbled of approval emerged from Bahamut's throat, and Braska bowed to his aeon respectfully.

"Where the hell did that thing come from?" Jecht was saying, and Rikku blinked and looked away long enough to see that the blitzball player's hands were outstretched, his fingers forming a small box through which he was studying the dragon. Then she choked and grabbed his wrists, slapping them out of the form.

"Are you NUTS?" she hissed quietly, though not quietly enough. Auron shot them both an annoyed glance and then blanched.

"What's the big deal? I just wanted to see what it was …" Jecht said uncertainly as the remnants of the scan spell slowly dissipated into the air.

"He cast at Lord Braska's aeon?" Auron ground out, quickly turning to face the huge dragon and resting a hand on the hilt of his sword. To Rikku's dismay, Bahamut had also noticed them and rumbled ominously.

"Jecht! If Bahamut doesn't kill us, I'm going to murder you!" Rikku squeaked fiercely, reaching for her own daggers and praying quietly. Quailing, she turned to Marcha and tried to push her away. "Get Yunie out of here, now!" Not that it would help, she thought faintly as she considered the scope of the damage a mega-flare could encompass.

"No," Yuna yelled, twisting out of Marcha's tight grasp and standing her ground. "I'm not scared. That's daddy's dragon, he won't hurt us!"

Bahamut lumbered towards them; the ground shuddered under his clawed feet, and everyone except Yuna involuntarily stepped backward. He dropped to one knee before them and snorted loudly, sending a blast of warm air washing over the little girl that blew her bangs away from her face.

Then, wide-eyed, they watched as Yuna reached for Bahamut's snout. He bent a little lower and let her tiny hand scrabble over his muzzle, emitting a sound that sounded suspiciously like a purr. Yuna giggled and redoubled her efforts, seeming to be completely unphased by the rows of razor-sharp teeth that were inches away from her fingers.

"He seems to like you, Yuna." Braska approached them from behind the mighty dragon, a smile on his face. "This is why we visit the temples, Jecht. A Summoner prays to the fayth so he can call on their power in the form of an aeon such as Bahamut." He gestured at the creature, and it pulled away from Yuna and stepped back.

"So … every Summoner can do this?" Jecht asked cautiously, still eyeing Bahamut's imposing figure with a good amount of trepidation.

"The primary duty of a Summoner is to collect aeons during their Pilgrimage," Auron said, relaxing slightly. "When Lord Braska has visited each temple, then we will journey to Zanarkand for the Final Aeon and use it to defeat Sin."

"Huh?" Jecht answered, staring more openly at Bahamut, who barely acknowledged their presence. "When I see that thing, I think you guys might actually have a chance," he muttered. Then he grinned widely and cupped his hands over his mouth. "Glad you're on our side, buddy!" he yelled at the dragon. Bahamut only tilted his head slightly and didn't move. Jecht frowned and dropped his arms, looking annoyed. "Hey ugly, can you even hear me?"

Yuna giggled and Auron groaned. "A Summoner controls his aeon, Jecht. Bahamut will only respond if Lord Braska allows it."

"Let's hope he doesn't," Rikku piped in, nudging Jecht not-so-gently in the ribs. "I wouldn't go around calling things with that many sharp pointies on it ugly if I were you!"

"What, you scared?" Jecht laughed at her, and Rikku glowered.

"Yeah, right!" she shot back, then planted her hands on her hips and leaned forward, facing the dragon. "Maybe you look mean, but you don't scare me at all!" she yelled at him. "You're just a big soft mushball inside, aren't you?"

To everyone's surprise, Bahamut's head turned and his beady eyes glinted slightly as they focused on Rikku.

"Oh, heh heh, I didn't mean it like that!" she laughed nervously. And then she fell quiet, meeting the aeon's piercing gaze. The sound and colour of the surrounding world seemed to dull and slow down, though Bahamut remained as vivid and imposing as ever. This wasn't about her joke, she realized faintly. "Why?" she asked him finally. "Why did you bring me here?" she repeated, rancour giving her question strength.

Bahamut only stared at her mutely; aeons couldn't speak, and the fayth only did so when they chose to. Even so she could hear his answer in his hard, unforgiving gaze. _This is what you wanted._ Rikku squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them again, the others were looking at her.

"You gonna have another one of them -" Jecht asked her uncertainly, and Rikku jumped and glared at him.

"No!" she yelled, angrier than she realized as he jerked away from her. She took a deep breath and glared at Bahamut, suddenly infuriated by his presence. The dragon stood before them as impassively as ever, but she knew better than to think he didn't notice her. No, he was purposefully ignoring her, and that was completely different. "That thing doesn't scare me at all," she said viciously, clenching her teeth together. "He can stand there and look as mean as he wants for all I care. It's not like he has enough power to defeat Sin anyway!"

"Rikkma!" Braska said sharply, and she started and spared Yuna a guilty glance. The little girl simply stared back at her guilelessly.

"That's why daddy needs the Final Aeon," Yuna pronounced calmly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. And then she turned and smiled at her father, and Rikku dropped her head in shame. Everyone except Jecht knew perfectly well what that meant, and still Yuna smiled. Then Yuna drew her hands together and performed a perfect bow. "Thank you, father."

Braska nodded slightly and swept his staff in a wide arc, and with a rush of wind Bahamut leapt away from them, scattering into a myriad of pyreflies that dissipated into the clouds.

"Auron, Jecht, Rikkma. Let's begin our journey."

And with that Braska was walking away, Jecht and Auron trailing after him towards the distant tree line of the crystalline forest. Rikku hesitated before following after them, and took a last glance back at Yuna. She was cradled in the embrace of the other woman, but standing on her own, her eyes unwaveringly fixed onto her father's back, all traces of her smile gone. She looked suddenly older; Rikku clearly saw the Yuna she knew shining through the youthful chubbiness in her young face. It was in her eyes; they were changing with each step Braska took. Unable to watch the transformation complete itself, Rikku whirled around and sprinted after the others as her throat clenched shut.

**.x.x.x.**

The small crystals which were jutting out of the sandy ground with increasing frequency looked beautiful, but made the path leading into the forest a treacherous one to navigate. Though the glittering formations were delicate, they were also pointed and razor-sharp. Rikku wondered how Jecht managed to do it with bare feet; apparently playing all that blitzball regularly gave him soles that were tougher than a behemoth's hide. Braska was carefully picking his way between the delicate, jagged crystals, and Auron, true to his nature, was simply crashing through them, crushing the ones that got in his way under the heavy heel of his boots.

Rikku was following the messy path Auron was unknowingly clearing for her; she didn't bother to chide him for the destruction he was causing because she knew the forest would regenerate in a few days, even thicker than it had been before. It made her strangely happy to know that the forest itself was still growing - fed and renewed by Shiva's dreams. While she didn't miss Sin's presence in Spira at all, some of the sacrifices they had made to destroy it still hurt, and the disappearance of Macalania was one of them. The glittering forest was indeed growing thicker as they travelled more deeply into its centre; soon, the huge, twisting reflective tree trunks began to close around them, surrounding them with their quiet, chilled beauty.

"I never saw a tree made outta crystal before," Jecht said loudly, catching her attention. She turned to see him rapping a knuckle against one of the trunks, filling the air with a melodious ring.

Rikku smiled and jogged over to him. "They're not really trees," she explained, flicking a fingernail against the hard trunk. "They just look like them."

"Don't get distracted," Auron called out over his shoulder. "The heart of the forest is infested with powerful fiends. We need to get through here as quickly as possible."

Braska did stop, however, making his way back towards Rikku and Jecht with a smile; silently, Rikku cheered. His greetings were the first words he had spoken since he left Yuna's side; his depressing silence had been almost deafening to her. "I don't see why we shouldn't take a break," he said, causing Auron to sigh in exasperation. "Come now, Auron, it's not every day that we get to see a sight like this."

"You mean this ain't normal here either?" Jecht asked, clearing away a small patch of ground before seating himself heavily against the tree.

"Travellers rarely journey through Macalania Forest," Braska told them, leaning on his staff. "It truly is a rare privilege to be able to be here at all."

Auron, who had pulled up next to them, shrugged off his sword and leaned it against the tree, his disapproving scowl still obvious. "The reason no one travels through here are the fiends," he reminded them pointedly.

"Will ya just relax for once?" Jecht groaned. "We ain't seen a single fiend since we started anyway!"

"Yes," Braska said faintly, staring off into the forest with a troubled look. "That is odd."

"You mean lucky," Jecht said instead with a careless smile. Then he looked at Rikku. "Say, whaddaya mean this ain't a real forest?"

"Huh?" Rikku asked. She had pulled herself up onto one of the larger trunks and was slouched on a high outcrop, swinging her feet lazily as she enjoyed the sights. "Oh … well, see for yourself," she added, pointing at the trunk. "It's all just some kind of ice formation or something, you can almost see right through it! Of course it's not a plant."

Jecht poked at the trunk he was leaning against with surprise. "Ice? But it ain't even cold!"

"It's a summoned forest," Rikku said, leaning back against the trunk and crossing her hands behind her head. "The fayth in Macalania Temple made it. I guess when Shiva isn't kicking butt as an aeon, she spends her time gardening," she joked. She turned her head slightly when she heard no response, and saw all three men staring at her and nearly slipped off of the trunk in surprise. "What?"

"Shiva?" Jecht asked.

"The fayth which resides in Macalania Temple," Braska answered absently. "Rikkma, that's an interesting theory you have, but no one really knows how or why Macalania Forest was created. How did you come up with that idea?"

Rikku scrunched up her nose. "It's not a theory. The locals told me!"

"People live here?" Jecht repeated, looking even more surprised. "I thought there were fiends."

"There ARE fiends. That's why no one lives here," Auron said stiffly, glaring at Rikku.

Rikku sat up suddenly, filled with indignation. She might have learned the truth of the forest well after Sin was gone and the demi-humans were forced to flee from their slowly crumbling homeland, but that didn't change the fact that they had always lived in Macalania Forest, and everyone knew that. No, the problem was that most other races didn't think of the demi-humans as people; that was why they didn't count in Auron's assessment of the forest's population.

"You know, if you Yevonites would actually listen to your musicians instead of just telling them to shut up and play, maybe you'd figure out this stuff too," she huffed angrily. "They're the ones who told me, for your information. They know this forest better than anyone else!" She noticed with satisfaction that Auron fell silent after her sharp rebuttal, looking faintly surprised. Braska, too, had gone quiet.

"I had always suspected there was more to those creatures than they led us to believe," he mused thoughtfully. "Strange, though, that they would share this knowledge with a human like yourself. They seem to prefer to keep to themselves."

"Yeah, well …" Rikku laughed lightly; the truth of the matter was the demi-humans probably wouldn't have given her the time of day if not for their disappearing forest and Tobli's constant meddling. "I'm well-travelled!" she explained hastily. "And who can resist this face?" she added, pouting cutely.

"Would you like a list?" Auron said dryly. Ignoring the face she made, he addressed Braska once more. "We should move on, my lord. This lack of fiends is … worrisome," he said uneasily.

Braska nodded once, leaning over and helping Jecht to his feet. "Yes. We can discuss our theories about the forest when we're closer to the safety of the temple," he agreed.

Rikku shimmied down from the trunk and leapt off. When she hit the ground, it trembled and shook underneath her, and she flung her arms out in surprise before falling gracelessly onto her butt.

"Whoa!" Jecht yelled, also trying to catch his balance on the shaking ground. "How much do you weigh anyhow?"

"It's not me!" Rikku yelled, leaping to her feet and pulling out her daggers.

"Something's coming," Auron said tersely, and that was the only warning they had before the crystalline trees began to splinter and fly apart all around them. Rikku covered her head and winced; the atmosphere felt heavy and dead, and most unnervingly of all, everything was quiet except for the crash of the splintering wood. Then she heard it: a low hiss, and the sound of something slicing through the air.

_I know this sound,_ Rikku thought as she lowered her arms and squinted through the rain of splinters that were falling around her. Jecht had thrown Braska to the ground protectively, and Auron stood over them, his sword a blur as it whirled through the air, hacking apart the larger chunks of crystal that were flying in their direction. And beyond him, behind her, all around them, she saw what had caused the explosion, and her stomach churned unpleasantly.

"We're bein' attacked by fiends?" Jecht yelled angrily, fumbling for the handle of his sword.

"No," Rikku moaned, springing to her feet and spinning her daggers. She rushed at the nearest pod, striking it before it could burst open and send its creation tumbling out. "This is Sinspawn!"

The deadly shower had finally thinned out, but as the dust settled the cause of the explosion became visible; a Sinspawn, ugly and black, pulsed in a clearing only a few steps away, spewing forth pods into their surroundings over its waving tentacles. It was huge, but thankfully alone; there was no sign of Sin itself in the area. Not that this was very reassuring; the spawn alone was nearly the size of Bahamut, and it was still belching eggs around them almost uncontrollably.

"We must destroy it!" Braska yelled, already twirling his staff around in the summoning dance.

Rikku didn't bother to reply, rushing another pod and trying to burst it before it could hatch and release the deadly insect-like spawn hibernating inside. She only managed to hack through the hard shell halfway before it burst open on its own, nearly severing her arm in the process as the insect inside spilled out and snapped at her viciously. With a scream, she buried her dagger between its shining eyes up to the hilt, and the thing hissed and twitched spasmodically before dissolving into pyreflies. To her dismay, she realized the other pods were also bursting open, releasing dozens more of the deadly Sinspawn into the forest.

"You've got to be shittin' me," Jecht groaned, rushing at one of the creatures with his sword and cleaving it in two.

"This is no joke!" Auron roared, hacking and slashing through several of the hissing creatures; a trail of pyreflies followed his motions, and Rikku realized they were leading towards the larger Sinspawn that was belching forth the pods. "Clear a path to the mother!" he yelled at Jecht, carving his way through several more of them.

Rikku ran back to Braska's side, narrowly managing to kick away one of the creatures as he completed his dance. She heard Bahamut's roar echoing through the forest, and then winced as a burst of light cut through the forest before them, destroying the trees and several of the Sinspawn in its path. The dragon landed in the smoking clearing and immediately began to grapple with the huge creature, roaring in fury. Rikku half-turned and saw Braska holding his staff out, his face pale and covered with a sheen of sweat.

"Oh no!" she moaned, skirting around him and slashing her daggers out haphazardly, trying to keep the smaller creatures away from him. "Auron! Jecht! We're in deep pickles over here!" she screamed, batting away another creature and then sending a fire spell hurtling behind her with a quick mumble. Rikku knew she was fast, but she wasn't _that_ fast, and there were just too many for her alone. "Auron!" she yelled again, flying at another fiend and slashing it away. It was no good; her light hits weren't killing any of them, simply enraging the insects and making them swarm even more furiously than before. "Braska's in rapture! He can't move!"

A Summoner's rapture; every Summoner fell into one after calling an aeon to do battle. To call an aeon was simple enough, but to battle with one was a completely different matter. They acted only according to the will of their Summoner, and it took every ounce of concentration to direct an aeon with the finesse and control necessary to battle a strong enemy. Bahamut was not an easy aeon to handle, and the Sinspawn he was battling was anything but a weak enemy. It was a harsh first test for Braska to flex his fledgling Summoner's muscles on, and his face was already waxy and pale from the effort.

_What's keeping them?_ Rikku thought to herself, panicking as the insects encroached on them once more. She grimaced and took a deep breath; casting high-level magic beyond her natural means from the grid always felt uncomfortable, but it couldn't be helped. She had to cut down the insects before they were overwhelmed. Fixing one hand on her grid, she spread her palm out towards the thickest concentration of the creatures and closed her eyes. The sibilant words tumbled out of her mouth somehow, spoken in a language she didn't know, with a finesse that she didn't possess. Power flowed through them, channelling through her body and forming into a pinpoint in the palm of her hand; she waited, gathering it, feeling the rush of an unnatural breeze as the casting glow surrounded her, and then let the magic fly.

It wasn't the most powerful of spells; while Rikku could have cast a flare or a stronger elemental attack, completely obliterating only one of the insects wouldn't have helped either of them very much. Instead she cast gravity magic, letting the crackle of dark energy descend over the entire writhing mass of their enemies. The demi spell drained the creatures and sent more than a few of them skittering backwards cautiously. There were even a few that she had struck at which collapsed on themselves, pyreflies leaking out of the wounds her daggers had previously inflicted. Rikku smiled grimly; it wasn't the best solution, but it had bought them a little time.

"Will you guys get over here!" she screamed, turning around to search for the familiar red flash of Auron's cloak. And then she froze, her cry caught in her lungs. He was there, a few feet before her, leaping and twisting through the air. His sword was nothing more than a flash of dark metal surrounded by swirling pyreflies as he sliced the insects surrounding them. But he wasn't moving towards her or Braska; he was trapped, she realized. Trapped, because he was defending and not attacking. And what he was defending was the motionless lump on the ground.

"Jecht!" she screamed. The large man was unconscious, a small trickle of blood leaking from his mouth and a gaping wound oozing much more blood from his abdomen. Despite Auron's lessons, he really didn't know how to handle his sword properly yet, she realized all too quickly. Auron was doing a magnificent job of defending his fallen comrade, but he couldn't stop the steady flow of blood that was leaking from Jecht into the crystalline ground and keep the insects at bay at the same time.

Rikku reached automatically for her pouch and cursed violently when her hand closed around the empty pocket; _I knew we needed supplies!_ she wanted to scream. There was no time to think; she rushed the nearest Sinspawn she could find and gritting her teeth, drove her hand through it. It shuddered and gave way beneath her probing fingers as she reached in and searched, pulling through its body desperately for anything that might help.

Despite being a first-rate thief, Rikku hated stealing from fiends. She hated it more than she hated lightning. The principal was fairly sound; fiends were formed from the malcontent of the dead, and occasionally the dead were kind enough to bundle their hatred into a form solid enough to pull from their bodies. Usually it was a remnant of their former life somehow, a wish or a hope or a dream they had once had while still human. It didn't change the fact that doing it felt disgusting to her; it took a special state of mind to steal from a fiend: telling yourself over and over again that it wasn't real, that it wasn't leather and bone and cartilage you were shoving your fingers through, but pyreflies-pyreflies-pyreflies. Sometimes it didn't work, and the unlucky thief ended up smashing his fingers against the very solid skin, fur or scale of the usually disgruntled and unforgiving fiend; the lucky ones came away from those failed attempts with all of their limbs intact.

Sinspawn was worse; though still pyreflies, there was nothing human at all left in them, unlike the fiends. When she attempted to steal from Sinspawn before, more often than not she came away with the oddest things; rusty blades, a razor-toothed comb or odd, unidentifiable gem that flickered strangely in the light. This time was no different; when she sprang back, the object in her hand was a strangely twisted rosette of metal; she had no idea what it was, or what it would do if she attempted to use it.

_Not good!_ she thought, panicking as she chopped hastily at another one of the insects that had circled too closely to Braska. A loud roar made her glance up; Bahamut seemed to be winning against the largest creature, which meant that Braska might actually be able to come out of his rapture soon. It was a gamble with Jecht's life, however, and a risky one at that. There was only one way to be certain. It was something she had been hoping to put off until much later, like _never,_ but desperate times called for desperate measures. She only hoped none of her companions were voyeurs. Then she corrected that train of thought and gave a silent whisper of thanks that Jecht was currently passed out.

The fiends backed away from her when she began to glow. Even Auron faltered and turned to look, his eyes widening in shock. And then the sphere took over; it wasn't just a change of outfits, but a change of personality, as Paine had once described it. She was still herself, of course, they all were, but there was something extra that was added: a phrase or two, an attitude, an unconscious gesture of the hand. The personalities recorded in the spheres never completely disappeared, no matter who used them. And while Rikku had created the Alchemist sphere herself, it was still like adding oil to a lit fire. Pride, self-confidence, and an unbelievable amount of fury filled her as she raised her hands and let the gun form in her arms.

_Useless? An embarrassment to all of Spira? How dare they treat us like this!_

Rikku's lips curled back into an ugly snarl and she unleashed her anger onto the surrounding Sinspawn, spraying them with a smattering of bullets from her machine gun. "No more Mr. Nice Guy!" she yelled, batting her way through the insects and blasting those that weren't foolish enough to move point-blank with her gun. A few of them managed to score her armour, but thankfully her alchemist outfit came with much more protective padding than Braska's loaned gift of travel clothes had. Ignoring the small scratches she earned, she reached into her now-bulging pocket and pulled out the potion that had conjured itself into her possession. It wasn't enough to save Jecht, but if she gambled right… "Not knowing is the fun part!" she yelled as she hastily dumped the potion over the small lump of metal in her hand and then threw it at Jecht.

"… Rikku!" she heard Auron yell in confusion, and then the rosette hit Jecht's chest and exploded into a vortex of light.

It was better than she could have hoped for, Rikku thought with satisfaction as his wounds curled in on themselves and knit together with unnatural speed. Jecht's eyes flew open, full of surprise as the rosette continued to flare and disintegrate. Rapidly whirling discs of colour surrounded him and burst outwards; they encompassed Auron, Braska and even herself. She noted with satisfaction that the wounds on her own body were healing rapidly at the same time as the artificial speed high kicked in.

"Woo-HOO!" she screamed, levelling her gun at a few more Sinspawn and blasting them away. "I'm gonna show you guys how to party like only we can do it!" she yelled, charging recklessly into the enemy swarm and firing maniacally at them. Vaguely she noticed Auron and Jecht doing much the same with their respective weapons; the explosive protective, regenerative and healing properties that her unknown mix had temporarily granted them swayed the tide of the battle in their favour. Bahamut landed the finishing blow on the huge Sinspawn that was the source of the trouble, and it wasn't long before they managed to do the same to the few remaining Scales that were scattering through the area.

When it was over, the four of them stood panting amidst a circle of pyreflies and the ruins of the smashed trees.

"Holy shit," Jecht finally managed to say, propping himself up on his sword. "I thought I was a goner!"

"Lord Braska?" Auron asked, helping the tall man as he sunk to the ground.

"… That was quite an experience," Braska said weakly, pulling off his helmet. His long brown hair was damp and matted underneath it and his skin was still a few shades paler than normal, even for him. "I'm fine, Auron," he finally said, waving the other man off and looking at Rikku. "But what happened to you?"

Rikku rolled her eyes and leaned on one hip, hefting her gun onto her shoulder. A tiny voice in the back of her head whispered that she should probably disengage her garment grid and return to her normal attire, but the rest of her told that voice to shut up and stick it and opted instead to stare back at the other men defiantly.

"I made myself comfortable," she answered cheekily, flipping her hair over her shoulder carelessly. "Why, you Yevonites got a problem with that?" She stared Auron down as she spoke, daring him to make a comment.

Auron frowned in return, his eyes travelling to her abdomen, where the garment grid was still shining with energy. The sphere and the path she had manipulated to activate it glowed brightly against the stone plate, and his brows drew together. "That is more than just a belt buckle," he observed.

"You catch on pretty quickly for a fool," Rikku responded acerbically, and the three men stared at her in shock. "What? I just call 'em like I see 'em," she added, letting her eyes drop onto Braska. "This whole Pilgrimage is a sham, and people who believe all that junk that Yevon spews out really are the fools." She did drop her head slightly as she spoke, guilt niggling at her conscience. "Sorry, Braska," she muttered almost unwillingly. "But it's the truth!"

"The truth?" Auron said tightly. "You lied to us about who you are and what you can do." His grip on his sword shifted slightly, and he glared at her angrily. "You've changed, and I don't think I like it."

Rikku made a rude gesture in Auron's direction and shrugged carelessly. "Who cares what you think?" she fired back just as angrily. "You're just another brainless follower of Yevon, as blind and stupid as the rest! I don't need you or your church's blessings!" she yelled. "Boy, you jerks sure have a crappy way of thanking me for saving your butts, by the way!"

"Hey, slow down there, Blondie!" Jecht finally said, striding towards Rikku and towering over her. "Auron ain't my favourite person in the world either, but much as I hate to say it, he's right. What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, glaring at her.

"Ooh! Not you too!" Rikku fumed, clenching her fist and stalking away from him furiously. She paced back and forth rapidly before them; angry and restless at everything she had been robbed of. Her life, her Home, her respect … everything was gone in the blink of an eye, crushed under Yevon's iron-fisted rule, and she couldn't do anything about it. It made her want to just blow stuff up!

Rikku's pacing came to an abrupt halt as an obstacle presented itself in her way; with a start she realized she was face-to-face with two clear blue eyes, both of which had her trapped under their steady gaze. Braska's hands were on her shoulders; _when did they get there?_ she thought absently. Braska, the only Summoner that had ever been truly worth saving, with the exception of Yuna, and in the end the only one they couldn't save. He was practically one of them, she thought guiltily; he was _family._

"Rikkma," he said softly. "This isn't you."

"But it is me!" she protested weakly. "It's in my eyes and my hair and my beliefs and my blood! This is who I really am!" She made a half-hearted struggle to shrug herself out of his grip.

Braska shook his head slightly, refusing to release her. "Let it go, Rikkma."

Rikku shook her head stubbornly, blinking away the unexpected tears that rose in her eyes. "But I'm Al Bhed," she whispered hoarsely.

"No," Braska corrected her quietly. "You are more."

Rikku reached for her garment grid with shaking fingers and deactivated it, and when the flaring light faded, the vicious, bubbling fury disappeared with it. The bitter pride and the sadness that had brought it about didn't, though, and she let herself crumple against him in exhaustion, sobbing out her loss.

* * *

_**AN:**__ The title for this chapter is the excerpt of a quote from John Dryden - "She feared no danger, for she knew no sin." I know, I know, it's all horribly punny. Sorry!_


	11. An Impossible Dream

**- 11: An Impossible Dream -**

The light of the fire flickered brightly in the centre of their makeshift camp. Though it was warm and cheerful, it couldn't completely banish the ponderous silence of the surrounding forest creeping in at the edges of the light.

Rikku hadn't chosen to sit quite as close to the merrily crackling blaze as the others; the cool night air didn't bother her, and she wanted to enjoy the silent forest for just a little longer. In her opinion, the real beauty of Macalania only came out in the deepest of night, under the light of the cold moon and the pyreflies which drifted aimlessly through the trees. The forest glittered, its crystal and water turned into precious metals by the evening darkness, and its pyreflies fallen stars from the heavens.

One drifted very close to Rikku's face, and she reached out and wrapped her hand around it. A moment later it passed through her palm and continued floating lazily into the night. It was hard to believe that the beautiful, tiny point of light was the cause of so much danger in the otherwise peaceful forest.

"So tell me about the spheres," Jecht said, and she turned to face him.

He had followed her out to the low trunk she was leaning against shortly after the fire had started; he wanted to thank her for saving his life, but she knew it was also in part because of Auron's behaviour. The other man was still furious with her, and hadn't so much as glanced in her direction, much less spoken a word since they'd decided to retire for the evening. She was grateful for the blitzball player's attempt to smooth things over, but not in the mood for his usual jokes; thankfully, he seemed to understand that.

"What do you want to know about them?" she asked, taking a blank recording sphere out of her pouch and throwing it at Jecht. He caught it and turned it around in his hands, inspecting the faintly glowing liquid in its interior.

"Braska says they're made here," he said, holding it to his ear and shaking it. "So it's filled with water or somethin'?"

"It's not really water-water," Rikku noted as she pointed at said water, which was trickling by their feet in a tiny stream towards one of the many lakes that pooled in the deep forest. "Memories can be trapped here, captured and reflected by the crystal-water. That's why people sometimes go into the forest to harvest it and make spheres."

Jecht was now squatting by the stream and dipping his fingers into it. He sniffed at them and then turned back to Rikku. "Don't smell different from normal water," he noted. He licked his fingers and then shrugged. "Don't taste different either."

"It's purer than normal water," Rikku corrected him. "Otherwise I'd be really grossed out that you just licked the ground like that. Honestly, I bet your fingers are grubbier than anything in that stream though." She smirked and Jecht made a half-hearted rude gesture at her.

"Everyone's a comedian," Jecht grumbled. Then he scratched his head. "So … why ain't there more people here if this water is so damn special? Those spheres we bought in Bevelle cost an arm and a leg! In Zanarkand people would be all over this stuff if we could sell it for that much."

"Well, besides the fiends, there's that other problem," Rikku said cautiously. "It's a risky job. I'd rather go diving for machina than collect sphere water."

Jecht stood up and flicked a few droplets of water at her. "What other problem? I don't see why we can't just bottle this stuff up while we're here and sell it at the next town. We'd be rich!"

Rikku shook her head. "That isn't the purest water, the one you can make spheres out of. You have to go diving in one of the lakes here for the really good stuff."

Jecht thumbed his chest. "Divin'? You forget I'm a blitzball pro already? That's kid stuff!"

"It's not the diving that's the problem," Rikku answered, rolling her eyes. "The deeper you go, the purer it gets. Really pure water can conduct memories the best. That's why no one ever wants to work as a harvester. You have to face your own memories."

"What's so bad about that?" Jecht asked, shrugging his shoulders.

Rikku nibbled on her lip. "You'd probably see things. Things that are - important - to you down there. You can't work as a harvester if you have too many regrets. You might drown." She didn't elaborate on the why; Jecht didn't need to know that most water harvesters didn't drown by accident. He also didn't need to know that no one in Spira lived without regret. Sin touched everyone's lives, whether directly or indirectly. Only people who were strong enough to resist the temptation of their own memories and desires could collect water. He didn't need to know how addicting the job quickly became, or the high mortality rate that accompanied it. In Macalania Forest, regrets could kill almost as effectively as Sin did.

"It's just a bad idea, alright?" she finished. "Promise me you won't try it."

"Fine," Jecht muttered. "I still say we're passin' up a golden opportunity here."

"There'll be others," Rikku mumbled, curling her legs up under herself and resting her chin on her knees. She noticed Jecht's quick glance back towards the campfire and gave him a reassuring smile. "Go on," she told him. "I'll be fine out here."

"You sure?" Jecht asked uncomfortably. "'Cause I can knock some sense into his head if ya want."

Rikku shook her head quickly. "I'll take a rain check on that," she told him with a devilish grin. "But it's okay for now. Get back there and have your dinner or something."

"Okay. But if you don't come back soon, I ain't savin' you any," he added loudly.

Rikku stuck her tongue out at his retreating back and then turned away, looking up into the trees. She wasn't hungry anyway; her stomach was still twisted into tense knots. "I'm so out of place here," she mumbled, falling back against the trunk and crossing her arms behind her head. She mused over what she had told Jecht, her eyes drifting towards the little stream that ran by her feet. It was a sliver of platinum against the dark ground, radiant and beautiful.

Most Al Bhed wouldn't even enter Macalania Forest willingly; it was reviled almost as much as the Farplane. The memory-water was the reason; it was as cruel as the pyreflies in flaying open a person's innermost heart. The strange liquid was achingly pure, free of any sediment to cloud its revelations. Everything in the forest was like that; clean, smooth and polished, even the fiends. It was the opposite of what made the Al Bhed who they were. Her people were gritty, sandy and rough, only comfortable in muddy water that was as dirty as they were. The water in Macalania was too perfect, just a little too sweet and cold. This was Braska's kind of water, not hers.

With a sigh, Rikku pushed off from the trunk and made her way slowly towards the camp. Hungry or not, free food was never something to be passed down. Auron didn't acknowledge her return, though Braska gave her a quick nod and Jecht threw a spit of something roasted at her. She sat down and quietly began to nibble at the food, trying to catch up on the conversation Jecht and Braska were having.

"So those were just pieces of it?" the blitzball player was asking.

Braska nodded. "Yes. Sin always returns for his children. That is why it is our duty to remove them as quickly as possible." He laughed shortly and shook his head. "It isn't quite how I imagined my first battle with an aeon would occur …"

"Sin can strike anywhere, at any time," Auron interrupted tersely. "The question is what it was doing in Macalania Forest in the first place. It doesn't seem to be travelling towards Bevelle. It might have been heading for the Thunder Plains or the Calm Lands, but there aren't any large settlements to destroy in either area." His voice was low and smooth, but Rikku could hear the tension underneath his words; he was quietly angry at her still.

She stared at him over the flames of the fire and numbly set aside the half-eaten stick of roast, absently passing it onto Jecht when he asked if she was going to finish it. Auron was still somehow miraculously managing to avoid seeing her despite the fact that she was sitting almost directly across from him. He hadn't bothered to look at her since she transformed, and Rikku couldn't really say that she blamed him. She studied him openly over the firelight, knowing that his stubbornness would prevent her from being caught staring.

_I was practically ready to shoot him earlier because of that stupid dressphere,_ she thought guiltily. She knew Auron hated being lied to, and being caught in such a huge, noticeable lie made her feel awkward and deeply embarrassed, as though she had let him down somehow - which was stupid, really, because he was the one who had done all the lying when they first met, with that whole thing about being dead. She scrunched up her nose and scowled at him in annoyance. So maybe he hadn't been lying; after all they'd never really bothered to ask him to clarify that crack shot Seymour had taken about his dead-guy smell. Still, a lie by omission was still a lie in Rikku's book, so in her opinion he was just as bad as she was. She was fairly sure Auron wouldn't have agreed with her logic. If he'd only pay attention long enough to talk to her at all.

"Sin was travelling towards a destination." Braska was speaking now. Rikku turned her attention onto the Summoner; freed of his heavier outer robe and helmet, he looked younger and frailer than normal. Creases of weariness wrinkled the corners of his eyes, but despite that he appeared to be calm and peaceful. It was as if seeing one of his Guardians pull out a new secret Al Bhed weapon and then subsequently being insulted by said Guardian was an ordinary, everyday occurrence. She didn't understand why Braska didn't seem to be as upset with her as Auron was. She had, after all, called him a Yevonite too. And he was, sort of, despite being somewhat of an outcast from the official church. But Braska was still a Summoner, and in Rikku's mind that was even more clergic than being a Warrior Monk. _Wait, is clergic even a real word? _she wondered briefly. Well, it was now.

"… Guadosalam." Braska was still speaking with the others, and belatedly Rikku realized they were trying to determine Sin's destination.

"What?" she said in shock, snapping out of her brooding silence. "But it can't! The Farplane is there!" A flutter of panic was causing her heart to hammer against her ribcage. She had never heard of Sin attacking the Farplane before, but that was no guarantee that it wasn't possible. The Farplane would always exist in Spira, no matter what damage Sin might wreck. But that didn't mean that the city built around it couldn't be razed. And if the city was razed, her chance to visit the Farplane would be destroyed along with it. "It just can't!" she blurted out vehemently.

Jecht scratched his head and picked at his teeth with the crystalline spit. Smacking his gums together rudely, he snorted and raised an eyebrow. "What's a Farplane?" he asked lazily.

"Something the Al Bhed have no respect for or belief in," Auron answered him pointedly, still completely ignoring Rikku.

Rikku winced and replied immediately. "The Farplane is where the souls of the dead go to find peace, if they don't become fiends. It's one of the most important places in the entire world, everybody knows that." She glared at Auron fiercely. "Even the Al Bhed!"

"Hmph," Auron replied coldly.

Jecht had already grimaced and ducked his head as both ends of the clipped argument were fired in his direction. "Hey man, keep me outta this," he said quickly, raising his hands in self-defence. "If you two are gonna argue, do it with each other. I ain't your ping-pong ball."

Rikku rolled her eyes and focused her attention on Braska instead. Some things were more important than fighting with Auron, and getting back home was one of them. "We have to go there! We have to see if they're okay!" she told him pleadingly. Before Braska could reply, Auron interrupted her; apparently, though he felt fit to give her the cold shoulder, he wasn't so receptive to being ignored either.

"Absolutely not! We're here on Pilgrimage, not to sightsee!" he snarled.

Braska sighed and shook his head. "Auron, calm down. I hardly think stopping by a city recently ravaged by Sin could be considered vacationing. It is also a Summoner's duty to perform the Sending when required."

Rikku smirked and stuck her tongue out at Auron, who only glowered at the fire.

"… but you are right," Braska continued, and Rikku's grin faded. "Rikkma, Guadosalam would not welcome us even if we were to take the time to journey there. Lord Jyscal has been working diligently to spread the word of Yevon to the Guado, but they are a proud people, perhaps even more so than the Ronso." He sighed and rubbed a palm over his face. "Even if the city has been attacked, they will most likely turn us away. We can serve them best by continuing forward and defeating what Sinspawn we find left in forest."

"But - but -" Rikku stuttered helplessly, and this time it was Auron's turn to smirk. She ground her teeth together and stared into the bright fire angrily; she could feel her chance slipping away again. "It's just wrong," she said stubbornly, defeated.

"The Summoner has made his decision. Accept it or leave!" Auron's voice was cutting and cold. Leave it to him to kick her while she was down.

Rikku blinked and looked up from the fire to meet his eyes, her own hurt and anger mixing with the guilt. Seething, she opened her mouth to try and deliver a blow that would humiliate him as much as he had made her hurt, and the best she could come up with was - "Maybe I will!"

The group fell deathly quiet as Rikku and Auron entered yet another staring contest - they seemed to do that more than they conversed with each other, Rikku noted angrily - and then the tension broke as Braska shot to his feet suddenly.

"Stop it, both of you." Braska didn't sound upset, but the usual levity in his tone was completely absent, and his soft-spoken words fell around them like an executioner's axe. They were both guilty and sentenced, with five simple words.

Rikku broke away instantly, flushing deeply; she didn't dare chance a peek at Auron to see what his reaction was, but from his uncomfortable shuffling it seemed he was similarly cowed by Braska's obvious disapproval. Instead, she snuck a glance at Braska. To her surprise, his features were troubled, rather than angered, and he was looking at her.

"Rikkma, I want you to walk with me," he said to her quietly.

"My lord, the Sinspawn -" Auron protested quickly, reaching for his sword and springing to his feet.

Braska moved to Rikku's side and grasped her arm gently, helping her stand. "I will be fine, Auron," he replied, his voice brokering no argument. "Stay with Jecht." He pulled her away from the warm ring of the firelight and deeper into the blue forest, and the last Rikku saw of the camp was Auron grinding his teeth as he slammed his sword back into the ground and sat heavily.

She turned to look at Braska, who hadn't released her arm as he carefully picked his way through the crystalline forest. He remained oddly silent, and Rikku licked her lips nervously and tried to come up with a comfortable way to start the conversation. "So …" she began hesitantly, hoping he would fill the pregnant pause.

Braska remained silent and tugged her deeper into the forest. It was only when he seemed to be satisfied that they were far enough from the camp that he released her arm; the small clearing they had entered was surrounded by a dense crystalline thicket on all sides and housed a wide, shallow lake. Pyreflies drifted lazily over the surface of the water and mingled with the reflection of the stars overhead. Rikku thought it was almost beautiful enough to forget that her Summoner had dragged her out there for the purpose of chastising her.

"Sit," Braska told her, and though it was a command, he didn't say it unkindly. When she had made herself comfortable at the water's edge, he joined her and fell into an uncharacteristically brooding silence. Rikku held her breath and didn't even dare to fidget; the last thing she wanted to do was upset Braska any more than she already had. The guilt at having thrown a horrible insult his way while under the influence of her dressphere was still eating at her, and she was almost looking forward to his punishment as much as she dreaded it. Finally, the silence grew so unbearably heavy that Rikku cursed to herself and then broke it.

"I'm sorry!" she said quickly. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to call you that, to compare you to one of them -"

Braska looked up at her, faint surprise etched on his face, which then melted into a wry half-smile. "Auron is the one you should say that to," he told her bluntly. "Though both of your behaviours leave much to be desired, Auron is hard, proud man. He would never apologize to you first. Though in this case, he doesn't need to," he added sternly. "It is you who initially wronged him, and therefore you who must take action to repair the damage."

Rikku dropped her head shamefully; this was ten times worse than being yelled at by Cid when she was caught doing something wrong. Sure, the throbbing vein in his forehead and his red-flushed face was enough to inspire terror in almost anyone when he was angry, even herself, but somehow Braska's quiet reprimand felt more painful than any tongue-lashing her own father might have dished out. "Yes, sir," she whispered dully, feeling lower than the non-existent dirt on the forest floor.

Braska remained silent; Rikku kept her head ducked low though she feel his eyes on her. Well, that and she could actually see that he was staring at her from the smooth reflection of the water, but that was a technicality she wasn't about to voice to him. It was a lot easier to be on the receiving end of Braska's stare when he didn't realize she was looking back. She saw rather than heard him sigh, and then braced herself as he opened his mouth once more.

"I gather that it was quite an interesting transformation you performed back there," he said lightly. "I almost wish I could have witnessed it for myself."

Rikku tilted her head slightly in confusion. It didn't sound like he was trying to punish her for insulting Auron. In fact, it sounded like he was trying to lighten the mood. Too bad she was still feeling heavier than Wakka during the second half of a blitzball game. Which brought back memories of Wakka and Lulu and _oh god she was never going get to see Vidina grow up _- Rikku took a deep, shaky breath and forced herself to calm down. "You were a little busy," she mumbled.

"Yes … I'm very grateful that you managed to save Jecht's life with that tool of yours. We all are." Rikku kept her head lowered, and Braska's encouraging smile faltered. Then it returned, wider and even more determined than before. "Is it the latest Al Bhed invention?" he prodded gently. Rikku gave a half-hearted nod, and Braska continued doggedly. "Did you create it yourself?"

Watching his reflection waiting patiently and hopefully for her response, Rikku had to give him credit. Braska was tenacious, and he seemed determined to pull her out of her depressive funk. Resisting his attempts to draw her into more pleasant conversation was causing her almost as much guilt as starting the argument with Auron, and so she gave up without much struggle.

"Uh-uh," Rikku said, finally looking up and meeting his eyes. "Actually, I don't even know how it really works," she admitted. "I got it as a gift from a friend of mine, he's the real genius. I just use it!"

Braska laughed, and it was surprisingly pleasant sound which echoed gently against the tinkling of the crystal forest. "Forgive me," he said, still smiling at her. "But I happen to know that this is how most Al Bhed inventions function. It often seems to me that the discoveries made by your people are more a matter of luck than scientific observation."

"Hey! Our inventions are perfectly safe! Most of the time," she mumbled with a pout, which only caused Braska to laugh even more loudly.

"Forgive me once more," he managed to say, "I mean no offence …" His good humour was infectious, however, and Rikku felt her dark mood being quickly chased away as she began to giggle.

After a moment their laughter died out, and Braska eyed her belt curiously. "Tell me, though. Are you quite sure that it's not dangerous?"

"Not really," Rikku said casually. "You know what they say. No risk no fun!" Braska didn't look very happy at her declaration, so she grinned and winked at him. "But I have been using it for over a year already, and nothing bad's ever happened before. I'm pretty sure it's safe." Noticing Braska's curious glances, she decided on a whim to unhook her belt and slid it off of her waist, offering it to him. "It's okay, you can touch it. It's called a garment grid, and it works by sticking spheres into the holes." She pointed as she spoke, displaying the paths and the nodes on the grid. "The grid itself has a little magic in it, but what it can do really depends on the spheres you stick into it."

"Just ordinary recording spheres?" Braska asked, studying the grid curiously.

"Yeah," Rikku said. "It sort of summons the memories of the things recorded in the spheres and transforms you into a different person. Sort of. It's kind of hard to explain," she said apologetically. "You're still you, you're just … different."

"I see," Braska said slowly. "Amazing. So who did it transform you into?"

Rikku blushed and bit her lip. "Well, that's the thing, actually. I call that one the Alchemist and I, uh, well, I sorta made that sphere myself," she mumbled quietly. She winced at Braska's open look of surprise.

"Then why in Spira did it change your personality so?" he asked, plainly confused.

Rikku sighed and fidgeted nervously. "Well, I filled that sphere with memories of Home. I don't know, I guess it sort of overwhelmed me." She gave Braska a weak smile. "I miss being surrounded by people who understand and accept me. I miss my friends and my family. I miss not being able to go back," she told him. Just another little white lie, cloaked in generous wrapping of truth.

"I think I understand," Braska replied quietly. Then, fingering the sphere she had touched, he gave her a cautious smile. "Would you mind if I viewed …"

Rikku paled immediately and shook her head. "NO!" she practically shouted at him. Then she blushed again and thought quickly. "It's, uh, personal. I like to keep those memories to myself," she hastily explained. _Yeah … and you'd totally freak if you saw me working with Pops too,_ she thought privately. Braska looked so embarrassed at her outburst, though, that she instantly felt horrible. He was only trying to help cheer her up, she realized; her sudden outburst had given him the appearance of a kicked puppy.

"Ah, well then …" he said uncomfortably, passing the belt back towards her.

Rikku stared at it, and then snapped her fingers. "I know!" she said quickly. "You can do something better than watching the sphere. Why don't you test it out yourself?"

Braska froze and stared at her as if she had gone mad. "What?" he said faintly.

Rikku gave him a reassuring smile and pushed the belt back towards him. "Seriously! Try it on! I already told you, it's perfectly safe. It's only fair, since you missed out on watching me use it personally," she told him with a wink. Braska still looked uncertain, and Rikku stuck out her lower lip sullenly. "Aw, come on, don't you trust me?"

And that was the question. Silence fell as Braska continued to stare at the belt, and Rikku struggled to hold her hand steady. It wasn't so much that the belt was really heavy, but more that the weight of the challenge she had unexpectedly thrown out to Braska surprised and scared her. She hadn't been planning on testing him when she made her offer, it had just sort of tumbled out as she belatedly realized the import of her question. She held her breath and prayed silently; _not you too, Braska. It's bad enough with Auron already._

To her great relief, Braska suddenly smiled at her, trusting and open as he carefully lifted the belt out of her grasp. Rikku nearly cried with relief when she saw that smile; Yuna's little smile that could convince her to do anything, even become a Guardian. It was just as potent coming from the source. Braska was clasping the belt closed over his robes and laughing again, and she could barely contain her own grin.

"Auron will never forgive either of us if he finds out," Braska said to her mischievously.

"Then we just won't tell him!" Rikku laughed, feeling the tension ease out of her muscles. Then her eyes popped and she giggled even harder. "Whoa! You actually fit into my belt," she snickered. "You know you normally look so pudgy underneath all those robes, it's kind of hard to believe you're as skinny as me!"

"That's because I'm not," Braska admitted with a slight wheeze. "I think I'll be able to manage without passing out, though," he added, finally settling the belt as comfortably as possible around his waist.

Rikku pouted and helped Braska to his feet. "Yeah, well it isn't fair. I see how much you eat, and you're still as skinny as a twig! Do you know how many girls would kill to have a body like yours?"

"Not quite as many who would come after you, I imagine," Braska replied smoothly, and Rikku flushed slightly and realized he was still holding on to her hand. Quickly extracting her palm from his grip, she cleared her throat loudly. "Well, let me explain a few things first," she said. "Did you feel that little tickle when you put it on?"

Braska nodded thoughtfully, looking down at the belt. "Yes. Strange, it almost felt like … being hit by a mild thunder spell," he mused. "I can feel it still, inside of me, as though it's waiting to be released."

"That's the grid supplying you with black magic," Rikku explained, grinning at Braska's look of surprise. "I can't actually cast much more than the basic elemental spells," Rikku admitted with a bit of shame.

"But I thought you told Auron that you had high-level abilities. And I could have sworn I saw the remnants of a gravity spell …" Braska mentioned thoughtfully.

"I know what I told Auron," Rikku said quickly, flushing under the open admission of another lie. "But that's where the grid comes in! I can cast almost anything when I'm wearing it. It's just not really me doing the casting, see?"

"Not really," Braska admitted helplessly.

"Oh … here, it's just easier to show you," Rikku said in exasperation. She spun around the clearing, finally selecting a relatively large tree trunk near the pond and pointing at it. "Just cast a fire spell at that," she said simply.

Immediately Braska shook his head. "I'm a healer, Rikkma, not a warrior mage. I can't cast elemental spells."

Rikku stomped her foot and pointed at the trunk again stubbornly. "Don't think about it, just point and cast! You just have to feel like you want to do it and grid will take care of the rest." Braska looked hesitantly at her, and then at the trunk. He stretched his arm out towards it and a small crease appeared in his brow, but nothing happened. Rikku shook her head. "Just believe," she told him gently.

He opened his mouth, and the words slipped out almost as quickly as the surprise on his face. The familiar-looking casting glow surrounded him, and Rikku smiled in approval. Then her smile froze as the massive explosion hit the trunk with so much force it made the ground quake. The blast of the spell was so powerful it actually broke off many of the larger branches and sent them spraying several feet up into the air, where they shattered. A shocked silence fell between Summoner and Guardian as tiny bits of crystal pattered around them like rain, dusting their heads with silvery powder.

Rikku managed to close her mouth before she inhaled too much of it, and then turned slowly to Braska. His eyes looked to almost as wide as hers felt. "What was that?" she screeched when she could find her voice again. "I told you to cast a fire spell at it. A _fire_ spell!"

At least Braska had the sense to look apologetic. "I thought I might try a firaga," he said with a weak grin. "I … ah … wasn't expecting such a violent reaction."

Rikku gaped. "That wasn't just a firaga, that was more like a meteor meltdown!" She vaguely remembered Shinra explaining that a person's innate casting abilities could also have an affect on the power of a magic grid. And apparently, Braska had an impressive amount of magic power to spare.

"Obviously the grid works," Braska coughed.

"You know, maybe you should look into learning some black magic on your own," Rikku muttered jealously. "Considering how much punch you can pack, you'd probably kick butt with it!"

Braska's face clouded slightly, and he absently shook the crystalline powder off of his robes. "I don't think I will have the time," he said quietly.

The smile faded from Rikku's face. "Don't say that," she murmured sadly, feeling their brief interlude of happiness slipping away all too quickly.

"… why don't you tell me how these spheres work?" Braska gave her an apologetic smile; apparently she wasn't the only one not ready to return to their grim duty as Summoner and Guardian just then.

"Umm," Rikku hummed in agreement, quickly skipping up to him. "I'm going to activate the Alchemist dressphere for you, that's the one I was using earlier." She reached for the belt and Braska tensed. "Don't be afraid," she reassured him. "You'll still be yourself. Just … with a little Al Bhed flair!" She waited until he gave her a curt nod, and then ran a finger over the sphere, activating the node before stepping back quickly.

Light filled the clearing, but disappeared almost as quickly as it came; Braska didn't even have time to grunt in surprise before the change overtook him. It was really quite a sight, considering how thick and loose-fitting his normal attire was. Dressphere transformations tended to occur with a flair for the dramatic, and with his many-layered robe whipping and glowing around him, Braska's transformation was definitely dramatic. For a few brief seconds, he almost looked like some strange, crystalline spirit conjured by the forest itself. Then the transformation was complete, and Braska was standing before her, only different.

_And how different!_ Rikku swallowed thickly. Yes, it was Braska in front of her, but he was no longer standing. He was slouching in a very un-Braska-like way, almost arrogantly, with an uncharacteristic smirk on his face that could have rivalled one of Jecht's. Gone were the loose, flowing robes, and in its place was typical Al Bhed battle gear, form-fitting and covering him from head to toe. There was even a pair of goggles holding back his long brown hair. The only thing that gave away the fact that he wasn't Al Bhed were the piercing blue eyes that were studying her knowingly. Rikku felt herself staring and tried to remind herself that he was Yuna's dad. Yuna's apparently very _hot_ dad, underneath all those robes. _No wonder Aunt Raenn ran away with him._

"So how do I look?" Braska's voice was smooth and calm; despite his shocking physical appearance, his attitude was still much more laid-back and relaxed than her own. Still, there was something distinctly less shy about his movements as he sauntered over to pond and took in his own reflection. Rikku managed to tear her eyes away from his finely muscled backside and give herself a huge mental backhand. _Braska! It's Uncle Braska,_ she chanted silently to herself, holding her head and shaking it. She looked up and noticed Braska watching her reaction with a slightly self-conscious frown; that helped ease her mind somewhat. The dressphere might have seemed to change him, but he was still a far cry from being as over-confident as most travelling Al Bhed needed to be.

"Fantastic," Rikku reassured him honestly. "Better than I thought you'd look," she admitted, joining his side and staring at his reflection briefly. Then she elbowed him in the ribs with a sly grin. "I mean, wow. This really should be the new fashion trend for all the guys in Spira. Think about it, Jecht might actually stop scaring people away if he tried it out!" she quipped.

Braska grinned widely and nudged her back with his own elbow. "This, and excommunication from the Church of Yevon," he added wryly.

Rikku only rolled her eyes upwards. "It's not as bad as you think, you know. You should try it."

"I think I'll pass," Braska answered easily, squatting onto the ground. Rikku had to suppress a giggle at the incongruity of it all; people like Braska didn't squat, they folded gracefully. Though she had to admit he did make squatting look good.

"You find my appearance that amusing?" Braska asked with an easy smile. "Then you are a liar, even if a kind one."

Rikku grinned in response, crouching down next to him. "Sometimes people need a little white lie, you know?" The grin froze when she noticed Braska reaching out for her; he grabbed one of her dangling braids and slipped it through his palms, letting his fingers twirl around one of her glass beads.

"You have beautiful hair," he told her, playing with the lock of hair absently. Silence settled as he waited for her to respond to his advance; it stretched thin when it became apparent that she wasn't. His fingers stilled around the bead, and he gazed at her unabashedly. "I don't know why I'm telling you this," he stated almost apologetically. Carefully, Rikku pulled away from him and he dropped the braid.

"I do," she told him. "It's the dressphere. It lets you do things you normally wouldn't."

Braska sat back on his heels, looking thoughtful. "You're right," he said finally. "I think I understand now. I feel so free ... willing to say things I would usually prefer to keep to myself." He gave her a sidelong glance. "However ..."

Rikku swallowed again and couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes a second time.

"This ... costume ... it doesn't change the way you really feel, does it? It simply makes those feelings stronger."

"... yeah." Rikku kept her head down, and Braska kept staring at her. She twitched uncomfortably and felt sweat beading on the back of her neck. "I'm not her," she said finally. "I'm not your wife."

"I know," Braska replied. More silence followed. Then he took a deep breath. "Auron is ..." He paused, but Rikku's head had already snapped up to watch him at the mention of the other man's name. Braska looked disturbed, as though he was wrestling with himself. Finally, he sighed and continued. "... many things. Angry, and flawed in his own way. But he is not what you think he is."

"What do you mean?" Rikku asked, watching him closely.

Braska smiled slightly, a faint flash of pain marring his countenance. "He is no more a _Yevonite_ than I am. Auron is angry because he is still lost. This Pilgrimage ... it gives him purpose and duty. I fear sometimes that it is all he has. He needs something to believe in, now that Yevon has abandoned him."

Rikku bit her lip, surprised by the information Braska had provided. She thought back on everything she knew about Auron, and his conversation with Kinoc came to her mind. "... You mean that whole thing about how he got passed up for his promotion?"

Braska looked mildly surprised that she knew, but then gave her a slow nod. "He is a still a Warrior Monk in name." Then his gaze grew sharp and knowing. "But a name can hide many things, can't it, Rikk-u-ma."

Rikku grew very quiet, unable to answer him. Braska didn't press her; instead, to her surprise, she heard him deactivating the dressphere. A moment later, she turned her head and saw that he was handing the belt back to her.

"You should speak with him," Braska told her gently. "Auron respects you, and you hurt him unfairly. He is handling it in the only way he knows how: with anger."

Rikku stared numbly at the belt in her hands, not quite seeing it. "I hurt him?" she said incredulously. "I didn't think I could, not like that." Braska didn't reply immediately; he was already standing up and facing away from her, his face hidden by the lengthening shadows.

"We should return to the others," he told her in his usual gentle lilt; calm and peaceful, a voice that gave away nothing of what he might have been truly feeling or thinking.

Tottering to her feet, Rikku re-attached the belt around her waist. When she looked up, he had already begun to move away from her, drifting back towards the general direction of their camp. "Hey, Braska," she called out to him uncertainly. He paused and turned to look back at her; though his face was as smooth as the crystalline lake, she knew that it would only take the slightest of disturbances to ripple through his calm demeanour. "Why are you helping me like this?" she asked. "With Auron, I mean. When, you know ..."

Braska smiled faintly and looked away. "Because you are not Raenn," he replied. Then he hesitated. "Because I would never allow the desire for an impossible dream to interfere with those which I can reach." He gave her a gentle, slightly pained smile. "Speak with Auron. He will need your strength for this journey." He resumed his slow path back towards the camp, and after a moment of thoughtful silence, Rikku followed him.


	12. Truce

**- 12: Truce - **

When they arrived back at the camp, Rikku noted with some surprise that Jecht and Auron were actually talking with one another, rather than arguing openly or subtly sniping. Even more surprising was that Auron had lent his Jug of Jolly Jiggers to the blitzball player. Jecht, who had just completed taking an exceptionally long swig out of it, belched loudly before handing it back to the other man. Auron eyed him with a hint of disgust and refused the jug, pushing it back.

"Keep it for now," he grumbled. "I'll have it disinfected at the next temple."

"Prig," Jecht muttered. He lifted his hand in a lazy greeting towards them and raised his eyebrows. "You two back already?"

"Yes," Braska said smoothly; he smiled as though nothing interesting or extraordinary had occurred in the last half-hour, and Rikku had to marvel at how skilfully he could act at times. He noticed Rikku's scrutiny and tilted his head slightly; she could see the message he was delivering even though his face didn't change expression. _Speak with Auron,_ he was telling her, and it wasn't a request. "So, Jecht," he began, settling down next to the other man. "How much do you know about the Guado?"

Auron looked nonplussed at Braska's subtle interruption to his conversation with Jecht, and Rikku took the opportunity to seat herself next to him. Right next to him, in fact, so closely that her thigh was touching the edge of his red overcoat.

_Try and ignore that, buster,_ she thought with a smirk.

Almost immediately Auron pushed off of the log and strode to the edge of the firelight, leaning against one of the thicker trees. On anyone else it might have looked like a retreat, but he managed to pull it off as though he was simply making a watchman's round. _Rikku: two, Auron: two bazillion,_ she thought to herself with a groan. Then, scrunching up her nose, she leapt off the log and followed him. Before she could even reach his side and accuse him of avoiding her, he was already moving, separating from the tree trunk and disappearing into the shadowy forest.

Rikku rolled her eyes and set out after him, quickening her pace to keep up with his long strides. Auron's getaway might have been more effective if he had actually bothered to move silently through the forest; instead, he was stomping through the crystal, creating a messy path of destruction that even a half-blind bunyip could follow. He obviously didn't want to see her, and considering how violently he was clearing away the obstacles in his path, Rikku thought it best to concern herself with avoiding the splinters rather than trying to stop him. After a while he slowed down and finally halted, and Rikku took a moment to absorb their surroundings.

It wasn't as quiet or peaceful as the small pond Braska had brought her to. There was nothing vaguely romantic about the dark, intimidating forest surrounding them; there was no good place to sit and have a talk, and it wasn't even pleasant to look at considering that Auron had ruined half of the scenery just to get there. She resettled her eyes on the back of his red coat and waited.

"Go away," Auron said suddenly, not bothering to face her.

"I can't." Rikku dipped her head and scuffed at the ground. "And I'm not sure if I want to anymore."

She looked up and saw that he had finally turned around and was now gifting her with the full intensity of his glare. "You make more noise than a shoopuf in a glass cage."

Rikku's mouth dropped open. "Hello?" she said incredulously. "Excuse me, but did you just forget how we got here?" She gestured at the sparkling path behind her flamboyantly.

"Despite that I still heard you following me." Auron scowled fiercely to himself, and Rikku wondered if it had so much to do with her making noise as it did with him listening for it. "I hope you're a better Guardian than you are a thief."

"Ouch," Rikku muttered, flushing angrily. She swallowed her pride and dropped her eyes. "I guess I deserved that."

"Hmph," Auron huffed with an air of superiority, and Rikku decided that her pride didn't taste all that great anyway and needed to be regurgitated.

"... I know how to be a good Guardian!" she told him hotly. "I learned from the best."

Auron smirked mirthlessly at her. "You mean to say you've been on a Pilgrimage before. Let me guess, you even helped defeat Sin once, too. If you're going to lie to me anyway, why not make it interesting?" he asked her with obvious scorn.

Rikku's nervous sway slowed down and she tried to ignore what felt like a punch to her gut. "I didn't follow you to talk about being a Guardian!" she finally blurted out.

"Then why did you come here?" Auron asked her coldly. "That is all we have in common."

Rikku shook her head stubbornly. "No it's not!"

Another humourless smile graced his face. "So then you admit sharing traits with a _Yevonite?_" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Rikku stared at him openly. "You're not a Yevonite." _Inhale, you can do this Rikku. It's just an angry Auron. He'll make sure your death is quick and painless._ "I - was out of line. I'm sorry for insulting you and Braska like that."

The ferocity of Auron's glare was unchanged despite her apology; he continued to regard her silently, wary and cautious. He didn't trust her. Well, no wonder, but it still hurt.

"I mean it!" Rikku yelled at him in frustration.

Auron finally looked away at her, his jaw twitching as he clenched his teeth repeatedly. Then, his brows furrowing, he nodded at her. "Very well."

The wind blew. A dangling shard of crystal hanging off one of the destroyed plants finally succumbed to gravity and broke off, shattering noisily in the lull of their conversation.

"That's it?" Rikku finally asked, flabbergasted. She had expected something more dramatic for some reason. Something involving a lot of yelling and perhaps a few pointy edges and most definitely a confrontation. Instead, it almost seemed like Auron was simply accepting her apology as a way of admitting defeat. "You mean I just snap my fingers and you forgive me?" she prodded cautiously. If there was one thing she had learned, it was that if something seemed too good to be true, it usually was.

Auron shrugged carelessly, the slightly annoyed tilt of his eyebrows remaining firmly fixed in place. "I can't have you disrupting the group. We need to focus on our duties as Guardians if we want Braska's journey to be successful, and I will have enough troubles babysitting Jecht as it is. I do not have the time or patience to deal with you, too."

Rikku stared at Auron, feeling something unpleasant growing in her stomach. It struggled and turned and made its way up her lungs, growing uglier by the second. Finally it burned up her throat, connecting in a sharp, pounding headache between her eyes and spilling out through her lips.

Auron thought she and Jecht were problems to be dealt with, not Guardians.

"I don't need to be babysat and neither does he!" Rikku yelled shrilly.

Auron turned away from her. "Hmph," he said again, and Rikku wished she had an Auron primer to translate all of his monosyllabic grunts into a comprehensible language.

"I know why you're mad!" Rikku told him. "I lied to you, okay? I admit it, I lied, and it was a big fat whopper of one, too. I can't cast all that much black magic and I don't use my daggers to fight unless it's an emergency. I really am a thief, but stealing, mixing and tooling armour are just about the only things I can do well on my own."

Auron had recoiled at her outburst, as though she had physically slapped him with that much brutal honesty. The surprise that registered on his face proved that he clearly hadn't been expecting it from her; that disappointed Rikku more than anything else. Being who he was, of course, Auron recovered from his shock quickly and levelled her with a cool glare. "A confession, now?" he observed. "I don't want to be your priest, nor do I enjoy being forced to be your executioner." He shook his head silently with a look of weary disbelief. "Rikku. You spin so many falsehoods that I sometimes wonder if there's any truth left in you at all."

Rikku bit her lip painfully. "I'm not lying this time, honest!" She winced at her choice of words and ignored Auron's patently sceptical look. "I really do want to protect Braska. And ..." She trailed off, her resolve wavering despite her uncle's unspoken order.

"And?" he prodded impatiently.

"... I didn't mean to hurt you."

Auron stiffened and his face closed; whereas he had been at least registering anger before, now he was completely unreadable to Rikku. And then, he spoke.

"Presumptuous, to assume your actions would do anything other than offend me." He made slight pause before continuing with narrowed eyes. "But I warned you to be careful with Braska."

"Well I'm not talking about how Braska feels right now! I didn't mean to hurt YOU," Rikku repeated, purposefully trying to catch his eye. She did, and nearly blinked in frustration when he didn't respond, throwing them into yet another staring contest. She was considering blinking rapidly just to add a little variety to it when he finally answered her.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Rikku echoed and Auron's exasperated sigh cut through the air. Well, it wasn't quite the friendly smile she had been hoping for, but considering the cold shoulder she had been receiving before, it was progress.

"Why didn't you tell me about your weapon?" Auron said very slowly, clipping off each word sharply to make sure she understood him.

Rikku fingered her garment grid uneasily. "It's not a weapon," she replied.

"Fine, your armour," Auron shot back.

"It's not armour either! It's ... more complicated than that," Rikku mumbled. She didn't want to explain the garment grid in detail to Auron; it had already produced an unexpected result in Braska, and she was beginning to worry about the effect Shinra's ingenious invention might be having on the rest of the Pilgrimage.

"Complicated?" Auron said wryly. He moved towards her slowly and eyed the belt. "I have never in my travels encountered anything like that before. Is it a new secret the Al Bhed are developing to fight Sin?" Rikku didn't answer, and his face pulled into a mild frown. "Is that thing the reason you're an exile?" Her continued silence finally led him to make what he thought was the obvious conclusion. "You stole it and now you're running."

If she had any doubts about what he thought of her before, that certainly cleared the air. He was close by, and she was taller than before, so if she spun quickly enough, there was still a good chance that her elbow might connect with his nose before he could dodge - _Bad Rikku! Hitting Auron won't solve any of your problems, it'll just make you feel better ... until he hits back!_ Shaking her head to clear it, Rikku focused on more productive or at least less dangerous outlets for her annoyance.

"I didn't steal it! This was a gift, for your information." Auron didn't look particularly convinced, but Rikku continued anyway. "It's just that I was hoping I wouldn't have to use it at all," she admitted reluctantly. "I know ... I already told you all about my fabulous skills, huh. I guess it was pretty stupid of me to think I could get by without it. I just ..." She swallowed and looked up hesitantly. To her surprise, Auron was still listening to her. The frown had eased off of his face, and he simply watched her silently.

"... Well, you know," Rikku mumbled. It was easier to get the words out afterwards, knowing that she hadn't blown her chances with him completely. "Using it would be like giving up. Admitting that I can't go back anymore, for real." She blushed furiously and held her breath, wondering if the truth would be enough, if he would understand. She peered at him with trepidation, and found that he hadn't moved.

"I see," he finally said.

Rikku fidgeted uncomfortably. "Huh?"

"This is about Sin." He finally dropped his piercing gaze and looked away from her, his mouth twisting into a strange half-smile that looked more like a grimace. "You are damaged, just like Braska." The smile dropped away. "You lost someone, too."

Rikku stared at his profile, outlined sharply by the light of the surrounding pyreflies. If she squinted, his features blurred and darkened, blending together in the shadows - almost invisible, almost hidden. She could almost mistake the shine highlighting his temple for a tuft of grey. She swallowed. "Yeah, you could say that."

Auron turned to face her and Rikku jumped forward. "No, don't move!" she said quickly. He froze, his face still in profile, and she backed away from him. "Stay like that for just a little longer, okay?" she pleaded softly, squinting at him.

Instead of listening, he stood to his full height and moved to face her squarely. The light cut harshly across his smooth skin and made his eyes glitter; the hard, unforgiving expression on his face chased away any illusions she might have had. "Be careful with Braska," he had told her. _He didn't know how to take his own advice,_ Rikku thought sourly. Or perhaps he did; maybe that was why he turned when she all she wanted was for him to stay still, tearing viciously at the barely-scabbed wound in her heart. He made no apology for his actions, and she knew he never would. It was unfair, perhaps even more than it would have been with anyone else. Not even the man himself could compare with the untouchable legend Rikku had created in her own mind.

"If I could do it," Rikku said suddenly, sinking to her heels and wrapping her arms around herself. "I mean, if I had the chance to get him back, I don't know if I would anymore. I thought that's what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure." She felt a weight settle on her shoulder and realized that it was his hand. She stared at it, mesmerized by the feel of his strong, calloused fingers; their warmth seeped through her clothing, burning like an imprint onto the skin below. She had never remembered him being warm before.

"Happiness is a rare and temporary thing in Spira," he told her. "You should not feel guilty for taking advantage of it when it comes your way, no matter how briefly."

Rikku smiled wryly, wondering if Auron could know how incongruous that advice was, coming from him. "Even if I knew I'd just lose him all over again?" she asked anyway, prodding at her own wound stubbornly. "It took me five years just to get over it the first time. I don't know if I'd survive a next time."

The hand on her shoulder tightened slightly. "You would," he said. His tone was firm, rather than patronizing; he said it as though he was stating a simple fact, which left Rikku all the more confused.

"Auron?" she queried softly, daring to look at him.

"You are strong enough," he reassured her, filling her with hope and dread. Then, almost awkwardly, he let his hand fall from her shoulder and looked away. "It's late," he said pointedly.

"Yeah," Rikku agreed. Neither of them moved. After a while, Rikku decided that he wasn't going to return her stare and focused instead on the forest, letting herself drift off in her own memories. Macalania was a forest of memory, not just regret, she realized slowly. Yuna and Tidus had shared their first kiss here. Together they had found hope in what seemed like an inescapable darkness; something to smile about, even when it seemed like there would be nothing but tears left for any of them. Of course, Rikku thought with a twinge, it was all dashed to pieces in the end. But eventually, Yuna had smiled again. It took awhile, but she survived. Tidus' return to Spira had been the proverbial icing on her cake; Rikku knew Yuna would have been capable of moving on whether he returned or not. She was suddenly jealous, wishing she could siphon off her cousin's strength and just forget the man who stood at her side completely.

Maybe that was why Shiva had made this beautiful, artificial forest, Rikku mused. Dangerous as it was, it was also still magical. It had the power to give people hope, even if just for a little while. She glanced at Auron again and wondered how strong she was.

"So are we friends again?" Rikku finally asked.

Auron shifted slightly, his lips twisting into a tiny smirk. "We were friends?" he asked her dryly. But there was no malice in his voice. And was that - ? Rikku peered, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her in the soft evening light. With a little hope and imagination, it could almost look as though his smirk was melting into a genuine smile. Did she even want to hope for that much?

"We should return to the camp," Auron told her gruffly. He offered her a hand, and Rikku stared at it dumbly for a few moments. Then, carefully, she slipped her palm into his. His fingers wrapped around hers, dwarfing her tiny hand and holding it steady. Then they tightened, and she was being pulled to her feet and fighting to control the broad grin on her face.

This was gonna hurt like hell.

**.x.x.x.**

When Rikku finally woke up the next morning, the first sight that greeted her was Jecht, playing with the recording sphere she had given him the previous evening. She shot out of her makeshift bedroll with a jolt of surprise; though the sun had not yet risen, if Jecht was up already that meant she must have been really late.

"Why didn't you guys wake me up?" she squeaked, hurriedly bundling together her things.

"Ah, relax, will ya?" Jecht told her, playing with the tiny controls on the sphere with a look of intense concentration. "Braska and Auron are scopin' out the place for fiends. Red told me not to wake ya."

"Huh?" Rikku said, gaping. "Are you talking about the same Auron I know?"

Jecht only smirked at her. "Yep. Guess he took one look at you and decided you needed all the beauty sleep you could get."

"JECHT!" Rikku screeched. Then she groaned and grabbed her head. "It's too early to wake up to you in the morning."

"Relax, I'm just foolin' ya," Jecht said a trifle too contritely to be sincere. "Besides, you can stop actin' so surprised, Blondie. I already said he's got a thing for you."

"No, he doesn't!" Rikku yelped, feeling her face turn bright red. "We're always fighting and stuff ..."

"Foreplay," Jecht replied offhandedly, still fiddling with the sphere. He was interrupted by the tightly bundled sack of bedding that Rikku sent hurling towards his head, knocking him over. "Shit!" he yelled, grabbing at the sphere which he had nearly fumbled. "What the hell do you think you're doin'? I almost dropped it!"

"You - you - shaved ogre! I don't know how you managed to convince your wife to marry you, 'cause it sure wasn't for your personality!" Rikku sputtered, violently wishing she had a spare grenade on hand.

"Course not! Everybody knows the women love me for my body," Jecht boasted, lifting his arm and kissing his bicep showily. He grinned toothily as Rikku seethed at him. "Sorry babe, but you're gonna have to settle for the stiff. This specimen's spoken for."

"AUGH! You're so full of yourself!" Rikku yelled, searching for another projectile to lob at the laughing blitzball player. "I'm gonna wipe that smirk off your face with ... this ... ahh ... stick!" she yelled, grabbing her last-minute weapon and brandishing it menacingly. Her mission to temporarily maim Jecht was waylaid by the progressively louder crunching sounds coming from the forest; soon after, Auron broke back into the camp, with Braska trailing behind him. He shook the excess crystal shards off of his boots and looked at them, not appearing very surprised to have caught Rikku chasing after Jecht with a stick.

"Good, you're finally awake," he observed caustically. "Do I even want to know why you two are getting along so well this morning?"

Rikku might have actually believed in his ill-humoured temperament had he not bothered to let her sleep in. As it was, she simply beamed at him and tried to figure out how to casually dispose of her stick as well as the best way to approach him in front of the others. She felt giddy and nervous, and wondered if she should act nonchalant, as though nothing had changed, or bubbly and cute to try and catch his eye. So great was her dilemma that she almost missed Jecht's next words.

Never one to pass up an opportunity to needle his favourite target, Jecht opened with a promising parlay. "Well, I was just tellin' Blondie here how you got the hots for -"

The stick problem relieved itself quite readily as Rikku chucked it at Jecht's head, forcing him to duck before he could finish the sentence. She turned to Auron, sure that her face was flaming redder than a bomb, and fumbled for words as he lifted a bemused eyebrow at her.

"Jecht and I were just talking about how hot you were!" she blurted out. Then she winced.

"WHAT?" Now it was Jecht's turn to yell in chagrin, and that was almost worth her embarrassment.

Auron's lips quirked, but it quickly disappeared, only to be replaced by a mildly disturbed expression. "Is that so," he deadpanned, turning to glare at the blitzball player.

"Hey! I don't swing that way!" Jecht protested immediately.

"Pity," Auron grunted, and Rikku's jaw dropped. Jecht was even more shocked; the large man lost a few shades of tan on the spot. He recovered quickly as Braska began to laugh quietly, and then stomped over to the smouldering fire pit and sullenly fiddled with his sphere.

"Auron!" Braska said, pulling up by his side. "Did you just make another joke? You had better be careful or it might become a habit," he grinned.

Auron shrugged slightly, his eyes lightening with a mild spark of amusement. "The ability to offend Jecht can make almost any indignity bearable," he replied dryly. "Besides ..." Then he turned and looked at Rikku. "It isn't necessary to be honest all of the time."

Rikku blushed again and gave Auron a weak smile, one which didn't go unnoticed by Braska, who grinned at her discreetly. Then, she heard a familiar hum and a click and spun around to look at Jecht. He was still playing with its controls, and the sphere was glowing in his hands. "Hey, what do you think you're doing with that thing anyway?" she asked indignantly.

Jecht smirked and finally looked up at them. "Well, you said these things were like cameras, didn'tcha?" He pressed another button on the sphere and grinned as it began to record.

"What are you taking?" Auron had tensed immediately, scowling at Jecht fiercely as the sphere was centred on him.

"Well, you said it was gonna be a long trip. We'll be seeing a lot of neat things, right? So I thought I'd record it all in this. To show to my wife and kid, you know." He tilted the sphere slightly and gestured at Auron. "Well don't just stand there like a stiff. Move or talk or somethin'!"

Auron snorted loudly. "You nearly died yesterday! This is no pleasure cruise!"

Jecht only rolled his eyes in response. "I'm still here! Besides, the fans go crazy for blood!"

"Impossible," Auron muttered, stalking off towards the forest. "Fetch me when he's done acting like a spoiled child," he said to Braska tersely.

After he left, Braska turned to Jecht and frowned lightly. "Auron doesn't like being filmed, Jecht. Perhaps you should acquire a different target next time."

"I got one already!" Jecht answered, lifting the sphere to his eye and squinting through it curiously. "Hey, Braska. Ain't this whole Pilgrimage thing supposed to be a grand occasion? Where're the cheering fans? The crying women?"

At this Rikku stomped her foot on the ground. "What am I, chopped liver?" she pouted.

"You don't count," Jecht answered.

"HEY!" Rikku yelled.

"Besides, in your case it's more like whinin' than cryin'," he observed.

"HE-EY BUSTER!" Rikku yelled hotly, forming a fist and fully intending to show Jecht how big of a fan she could be. She stopped at the sound of Braska's quiet voice, low and serious.

"This is it." Braska folded his hands together and smiled absently at the ground. "Too many goodbyes - people think twice about leaving." His face betrayed nothing, but thoughts of Yuna hung heavily in the air between them.

"Hmm ..." Jecht said slowly. "If you say so." Then he frowned at the air of sorrow that had drifted around Rikku and Braska. "Well, it better be a lot more colourful when we come back. A parade for Braska, vanquisher of Sin!"

Rikku winced; sometimes it was easy to forget that Jecht didn't know the truth. She wondered what they would tell him when he discovered it for himself. The enormity of their lie to him made her own spat with Auron suddenly seem inconsequential by comparison. She glanced nervously at Braska; having made the same mistake with Tidus, Rikku firmly believed in breaking bad news to others sooner rather than later.

Braska met her eyes and shook his head minutely. So he didn't want it to be known then, Rikku realized. He was just like Yuna, in so many ways it made her ache. Then he smiled at Jecht and laughed, and she marvelled that there wasn't even a hint of bitterness in his tone.

"We should go. Day will break soon. Gather your things and follow when you're ready, I will find Auron." He left and Rikku sank to the ground, feeling defeated. She looked up as Jecht shut the sphere off, giving him a weak smile. He didn't return it, eying her warily.

"Am I missin' somethin' here?" he asked her suspiciously, glancing at Braska. "Level with me, Blondie. What are those two hidin' anyway?"

Rikku stared at him at a complete loss for words, feeling a sick sense of déjà-vu. She didn't have the heart to tell Jecht the truth; she couldn't do it any more than she could to Auron. He was still too new to Spira, too full of piss and vinegar and most importantly hope. "They'll tell you when they're ready," she managed to say.

Jecht stared at her intently. Then he scowled. "I thought you were different from them," he said slowly, the silent accusation written plainly across his face. "Guess I thought wrong. I'm just another crazy old fool to you too, ain't I. Thanks a lot."

"Hey, I trust you!" Rikku protested immediately.

"Nice way you got of showin' it," Jecht replied, rolling to his feet and grabbing his sword.

Rikku kicked at the ground, angry at herself for disappointing him. "Jecht!" she yelled, chasing after him. "Hey, wait up!"

"Why? You got somethin' you wanna say to me?" Jecht asked, pausing to glower at her.

Rikku nodded. "I ... I can't tell you because it's Braska's decision. Please ... you have to understand that, Jecht. He's the Summoner, he's the one you have to ask."

"Sure," Jecht sneered at her as they caught up with the others. He passed Auron and tossed a familiar-looking white jug towards the other man.

Auron snatched it out of the air and shook it. Then he looked at Jecht in shock. "This is empty," he noted with surprise.

"So?" Jecht replied sullenly.

"It was almost full," Auron answered pointedly.

Jecht stopped and looked at him, his face schooled into a careless frown. "Well excuse me for bein' thirsty. Maybe I'll save you some next time."

Auron fixed the jug to his belt, glaring at Jecht. "If this is how you normally drink, there won't be a next time." Jecht only shrugged moodily at him and continued to tramp forward through the forest. Auron lingered and waited until Rikku caught up with him. "Is there a reason for Jecht's behaviour this morning?" he asked her quietly.

Rikku sighed and nodded, her eyes still trained on Jecht's back. "He wanted to know what will happen after we defeat Sin."

Auron narrowed his eyes at Jecht's back thoughtfully. "It is ... more difficult that I thought it would be," he finally mused.

"Trying not to tell him?" Rikku asked.

"Trying to tell him," Auron corrected her.

Rikku nodded quietly. "Because he's growing on you," she supplied. Auron grunted, a look of distaste splashing across his face, and Rikku giggled. Then she sobered and looked at Jecht again. "Braska doesn't want us to tell him, you know. But he knows something's up. He's gonna totally blow a gasket when he finds out."

Auron nodded slowly. "Braska's decision is unwise. Problems like these only fester if left unattended." He frowned slightly. "But if that is what he wants, then I will speak with Jecht. He should learn how to handle his sword; maybe it will be enough of a distraction." He began to move forward, but Rikku caught his arm and held him back.

"Lemmie talk with him first. I need to settle something with him before you beat him up," Rikku quipped. Auron looked at her questioningly, but nodded, and Rikku smiled at him. Then she sprinted down the path and slowed at Jecht's side. The blitzball player gave her a cursory glance and continued walking, not bothering with a greeting. Rikku clasped her hands behind her back. "Hey," she said cautiously.

"So, are you gonna talk yet or what?" Jecht asked her sourly.

"I told you, that's Braska's job," Rikku said sharply. Then she nibbled her lip. Maybe she didn't have to tell him anything. "You know, that sphere you just made," she said quietly, and felt Jecht's eyes on her. "You should leave it behind."

"Huh?" Jecht fished the sphere out of his pocket and looked at it. "I thought you said these things were expensive! Now you want me to just throw it away?"

Rikku nodded at him. "You made that for Tidus, didn't you? If you want him to find it, you should leave it here." Now she knew she had his full attention.

"What do you know about my boy?" he asked her suspiciously. "You sure you ain't from Zanarkand? I never saw you around the house ..." Then he blanched. "You ... you ain't one of them celebrity stalkers, are ya?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Trust me, if I wanted to stalk celebrities, I wouldn't have picked you," she replied with a snort. Then she clasped her hands together and dropped her head. "I am different from them, you know," she whispered to him, tilting her head at Auron and gesturing faintly at Braska. "I know things they don't. Stuff about you ... stuff about Sin. And," she whispered, cutting him off as he opened his mouth. "I can't tell you, either. But it's enough that you at least know. Because I trust you. And I know you're not a joke, Jecht."

Jecht shook his head. "Why?" he asked her. "I thought this was supposed to be some damn dangerous trip. Why not just tell 'em what you know? Wouldn't it make things easier?"

"Sometimes," Rikku said cautiously, "keeping things quiet is the only way we have to protect our friends. So ... don't get so mad at Braska and Auron, okay? They're just looking out for you."

Jecht snorted, looking unconvinced. He did relax enough, however, to cross his arms behind his head. "I'm gonna find out, you know," he assured her. "Sooner or later, I'm gonna figure out Braska's big secret whether you want me to or not."

Rikku nodded reluctantly. "Just don't worry so much about it right now."

Jecht slid his eyes over towards her. "I'm gonna find out your secret, too," he added. "How you know about my boy, why no one else believes in my Zanarkand." He tossed the sphere he was carrying into the air. "But for now, just tell me why I gotta ditch this thing here."

"This is a forest of dreams," Rikku replied. "If you try hard enough, I'm sure your dreams will reach him here. He's your son, so he'll find them one day." She smiled at Jecht and shook her head at his puzzled expression. "You don't have to if you don't want to. But I think the least you could do is trust me back."

Jecht fell silent, pacing at her side through the glittering forest with his head lowered. Eventually, Rikku tired of his company and scampered ahead down the path. Auron passed him and mumbled something about training, but Jecht waved him off, preferring instead to study the sphere in hands. Finally, with a loud sigh, he shook his head. "I must be crazy," he said out loud. Then, drawing his hand back, he threw the sphere as far as he could into the dense forest. He heard a small plip of water as it landed in one of the many pools of crystalline water, and he imagined it sinking to the bottom.

"I hope I find you before you ever find that, boy," Jecht muttered, before hurrying to catch up with the others.


	13. Reflections

**- 13: Reflections -**

It wasn't cold, Rikku decided. It was _damn_ cold. Shivering, she pulled the thin brown cloak around her shoulders protectively and squinted against the reflective light that bounced across the snow.

"I'm freezing my balls off!" she heard Jecht mutter as he huddled next to her. The wind was much too harsh to risk baring her tender gums to its cutting bite; instead, Rikku settled on scowling at him from under the lip of her collar half-heartedly. Even Braska looked uncomfortable, hugging his arms around himself tightly against the bitter wind. Auron alone seemed comfortable in the cold weather; it may have been the layers of clothing he deemed necessary to wear, or perhaps it was pride that kept him stiff.

_Or maybe his face has frozen into that scowl,_ Rikku thought to herself viciously, jealous of the thick red overcoat that was currently covering both of Auron's arms. Al Bhed and snow definitely did not mix together. She was half-tempted to tap into the power of her dress sphere for the simple fact that one of her outfits might afford her more protection than her current flimsy miniskirt and the thin Bevellian linen cloak that she clutched to her throat. The disastrous results of her last experiments with the dress spheres were enough motivation to dissuade her, though.

The wind howled, and a few crystals of ice shattered and fell off of Rikku's stiff braids.

_Barely,_ she amended, fingering the garment grid clumsily with her stiff fingers. Still weighing the options of potentially irritating her travelling companions with the benefit of not having to amputate unnecessary appendages from the frostbite, Rikku didn't notice when their small procession stopped suddenly. She pitched into Jecht clumsily, and they both nearly fell into the snow. The blitzball player wasn't much better off than she; he had ripped his own cloak apart in the attempt to cobble together makeshift moccasins for his bare feet, and as a result the remaining fabric was much too short to keep him comfortably warm. In a feeble attempt to stretch what little clothing he did wear, Jecht had slung the straps of his overalls over his chest. It made his appearance even more similar to his son than before, and as he swore and stumbled at their collision, Rikku was too tired and much too cold to think about the apology that came tumbling out of her mouth:

"Oh, sorry, Tidus."

She didn't notice when Jecht stiffened; she didn't even notice when Auron called them to gather around and pointed out the small travel agency by the side of the path. She was too busy marvelling over the fact that it was Auron who had stopped them to even think about her blunder, and by the time they were warmly ensconced within the building, Jecht didn't appear to have even noticed her slip. He was much too busy trying to warm his feet at the table nearest to the fireplace. Shrugging to herself, Rikku slipped out of her rapidly dampening cloak and joined Auron and Braska at the clerk's desk.

"We rest here," Auron told them firmly. Braska only nodded in agreement, his face pinched and weary from the long hike.

"That will be 650 gil," the desk clerk said officiously, frowning at Rikku. The Travel Agency had yet to fall into Rin's hands, let alone O'aka's - it was actually more of a Summoner's way station than a shop, at the present time - one that was being run out of the Church of Yevon's own pockets. It showed; as the sneering clerk quoted his price, Rikku realized a moment too late that unmasking her head of shockingly blonde hair and green eyes was probably not the wisest of manoeuvres. The price was exorbitant, and she immediately opened her mouth to complain. The quick, stern glance Auron shot at her did little to quell her protest, but the weary slump of Braska's shoulders caused the words to die unexpectedly in her throat. She shut her mouth and backed away from the countertop, realizing that the high price was, in some regard, her fault. A guilty blush stained Rikku's cheeks, and she wondered what Auron would have to say to her once they were in private. Shamefully, she seated herself by Jecht at the far table and joined him in trying to warm herself up.

"They better sell some goddamn shoes here," Jecht mumbled to himself, inspecting one of his toenails. The instant they had entered an area with something more than sub-freezing temperatures, Jecht's makeshift shoes had come off. His feet were even more scarred and calloused than the rest of his body, and Rikku had to wonder if he could feel anything through his soles at all.

"I don't think we'll have a lot of money left after tonight to buy shoes, let alone anything else," Rikku mumbled in a small voice.

"Great. Didn't really need those toes anyway," Jecht answered sarcastically, his humour only slightly improved by the change in environment. He pulled a face as he heard Auron's voice lift loudly enough to reach the table. The shopkeeper was gesturing violently at their table, and Auron's face was more frigid than the weather outside. Her ears burned as she understood what exactly they were arguing about, and pulled the hood of her damp cloak up over her shock of blonde hair.

"Don't worry so much about it," she heard Jecht mumble gruffly, and blinked with surprise as the hood was pulled away from her. "Big red and ugly won't let 'em turn you out."

Rikku blinked at the sudden rush of appreciation she felt from Jecht's words and snuck another glance at the counter. Braska was speaking now, obviously trying to placate the clerk while Auron stood to his side like a slab of granite. A really intimidating, scowling, sword-wielding slab of granite. It was somewhat comforting to know that the reason for his behaviour was her own safety. Well, that and Jecht's safety, if she wanted to be honest with herself; then again, as she watched Jecht contort himself to pick at his toes once again in a particularly unflattering manner, she preferred to think she was the deciding factor in the equation.

_He's always protecting me,_ she thought to herself with another twinge of warmth. She remembered clearly the last time she had been to Macalania; it has been cold then, too. When Brother had attacked, he had been there, instructing Yuna to stand back. The iron in his deceptively calm voice had bolstered her, allowing her to find within herself the strength to stand up against her people and her family. Afterwards, his curt demand for assistance with the machina had shielded her against Wakka's heated words.

It was then that it had really started, Rikku realized thoughtfully. He had been silent as they rode together towards the temple, her arms wrapped around his waist as she cowered behind his massive bulk to shield herself from the cutting wind. Even with the thick red coat between them, she had felt the tension in his body; Auron had been just as upset with her as Wakka. She knew it was because of what Brother had said; that it was her family that was hunting Yuna and threatening the Pilgrimage. What little warmth she had felt from his earlier defence had been whisked away with the cold breeze; it wasn't until he defended her once again at the Temple, despite his annoyance, that her fascination with Auron had transformed into something deeper.

_He wasn't just guarding Yuna,_ Rikku thought to herself quietly. Both she and Tidus had fallen under his care, rough as it was; with a slight hitch of disappointment she realized that it wasn't any sort of real revelation or sign that he might have returned her own blossoming feelings. Auron was simply Auron - staunch defender of those who needed protection. Though he would be loathe to admit it, his actions always spoke of a code of honour much louder than his words ever had.

The more Rikku thought about it, the more disenchanted she became with Auron's stern words to the Guado temple guard. Strange, how revisiting Macalania now of all times was finally shedding new light on a memory which she treasured above all others. She had almost completely based her obsession with the Legendary Guardian on her surprise and gratitude from that incident, when he acted as her own personal knight in shining armour. Now, it seemed more and more like Rikku had, once again, overreacted to a much simpler explanation for Auron's protective behaviour - he was being himself.

"Maybe I came all the way here for nothing ..." Rikku mumbled to herself suddenly, the shiver which ran through her body having nothing to do with the chill outside. Nothing but a memory of smoke and shadows and impossible girlish fantasies. Worrying her bottom lip, Rikku looked towards the counter once more and froze. Auron's stance hadn't shifted, but his eyes were now trained on her rather than Braska's conversation. He was staring at her suspiciously, as though the thoughts that were running through her head were being displayed openly across her face.

_Do I even like him?_ Rikku found herself thinking, blatantly meeting his stare. _Am I in love with him or only a reflection of him that I created?_ She continued to gawk and Auron's eyebrow rose fractionally, as if questioning her sudden scrutiny. Reflexively, Rikku grimaced and stuck her tongue out at him, and Auron's bordering-on-curious look instantly descended into a hardened scowl of disapproval.

_Sure, he's hotter now than he ever was when he was... uh, dead,_ Rikku thought to herself. _But he's still the same Auron I remember. He doesn't like me; he protects me._ And, Rikku realized, it wasn't enough. Not enough to base her fantasies on, and certainly not enough to justify being trapped in the past, reliving a hell that she had thought was over and done with for the rest of her life. She tilted her chin at Auron rudely and turned away to face the fire, her mouth pulled into a fierce frown.

"Trouble in paradise?" she heard Jecht say in an amused voice. "Better look out. He's comin' this way!"

Rikku cringed but ignored him, still staring determinedly into the fire even when she felt Auron step beside her. Her aloof vigil was harder to keep when, after a few moments, he stepped closer to her, the edges of his red overcoat brushing against her arm.

"You have been irritable ever since we entered Lake Macalania," Auron stated. He waited for her to respond, but Rikku clenched her teeth together and drew her knees up under her chin, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. She heard him sigh, and then continue. "Rikkma, what is the matter?"

She wondered if he was asking out of concern or duty, and then decided that she didn't care. This man, this Auron she was coming to know, undoubtedly would and in fact already had thrown himself in front of fiends in order to save any member of their little entourage, herself included. Now, instead of making her flush with pleasure, the idea of him defending her was annoying - a confirmation that she actually didn't know Auron as well as she thought she once had. Still, it wasn't fair to be taking out her sudden revelation and subsequent sour temper on this Auron; he could hardly know what he had "done" to annoy her besides be himself.

"Hmm," she heard him grunt before she could formulate a suitable response. "Sulking like a child simply because you were careless enough to be recognized by Yevon's faithful. In case you hadn't realized, it's not going to get any easier." The last was delivered with a disdainful bite to it, as though he was chiding her for her petulant behaviour. "Stop worrying. Braska has managed to reach an agreement with our host."

The contrite words Rikku had been thinking of saying were drowned in a rising wave of indignation. "I wasn't worrying about that," she said quickly, glancing up and narrowing her eyes at Auron cheekily. "In case you hadn't realized, over-eager Yevonites don't scare me at all. So stop trying to protect me like I'm some little kid!"

Auron stared at her, his face a mask. The slab of granite was returning, this time in front of her. "Fine. Sleep outside, then." He stepped away from her side, ignoring her and seated himself at the table across from Jecht, who was glancing between them curiously.

"Whoa, Blondie! Auron was just tryin' to help out there. What's eatin' ya now?"

Blushing, Rikku dropped her chin back onto her knees and tried to ignore Auron's presence. "Umm ... sorry. I guess the cold makes me snappy," she fibbed, blowing on her fingertips for effect. "Thanks for talking to the innkeeper for me," she added cautiously, peering surreptitiously in Auron's direction.

"Don't injure yourself attempting to express gratitude for my benefit," Auron replied sarcastically, not bothering to look up from the small menu he had grabbed off of the centre of the table. Rikku stifled a smile as she realized that she had inadvertently managed to injure Auron's pride with her snubbing. He had, after all, been working the clerk over for her benefit, and she was being somewhat less than grateful for his efforts.

Her eyes settled on the top of his head, travelling along the skin that was, to her eyes, strangely smooth and free of scars. His face was contorted with the faint traces of a scowl that hinted at his own bad temper. _Who is this angry young man sitting next to me?_ Rikku thought to herself. The telltale traces of annoyance would have been much harder to spot on his older face; the Auron she had originally come to know didn't brag or require acknowledgement of his efforts - he simply acted. His younger self, sitting before her and sullenly perusing the menu, didn't have quite the same measure of self-control or maddening serenity that she was used to seeing.

_Hah, when he's pouting like this he kinda reminds me of Gippal,_ Rikku concluded with a smirk. That realization took her by surprise; guiltily she realized that she hadn't spared a thought for the other man since her trip to the Farplane. Curiously, she began to silently compare the two men in her head. Gippal definitely had the bigger ego, even with younger Auron's brazen attitude. And it was an attitude, Rikku could see now; with the status of Legendary Guardian, people assumed Auron had a right to carry on the way he did. This Auron, by comparison, had no such reputation to precede him and yet still displayed the same gruff, demanding, egotistical behaviour. That was, however, where the similarity ended. This Auron had more eyes and less smiles than Gippal did. And there was the added fact that Auron didn't flirt with everything that moved, unless you counted being threatened by his massive sword as courtship.

Rikku giggled to herself at the image, and then sobered quickly. Thinking about Gippal, no matter how amusing he was, also brought back thoughts of her home, and what she had lost in returning to the past. _Did I ever even give him a real chance?_ Rikku knew she had always been uncharitable to Gippal's light-hearted advances; she had developed a slight crush on him early on, and she knew well enough that he would have teased her mercilessly had he found out about it. Now, however, isolated from any possibility of seeing him, she wondered if that had been wise. The more she realized that her idealized vision of Auron was nothing more than that, a vision, the more foolish it seemed to have given up on the could-have-beens. After all, she didn't know for certain that he would have laughed at her. Rikku stared into the fire, distracted, and let the memory of the sun-washed sands of Bikanel warm her.

**.x.x.x.**

"Hey, Cid's girl, what're you staring at?" His teeth flashed in the sun, almost painfully white against his bronzed skin. There was a daring twinkle in his eyes - and he had both of them still, back then - that Rikku knew spelled trouble; more so if he realized she had been mooning over him once again.

"It's Rikku!" she shot back angrily, sticking her lower lip out in a pout. She took a deep breath, and in an unusual rush of bravery, decided to tell him the truth. "And I was staring at you!"

Gippal balked, taken by surprise at her bald admission, and Rikku bit her lower lip and anxiously awaited his response. Slowly, a smug smile spread out across his face, and he ran a hand through his sandy hair carelessly before opening his arms wide. "The goods are right here, babe. All you gotta do is say if you want some."

It was the self-satisfied smirk that killed it, Rikku decided then. "Sorry," she answered back more confidently than she felt. _I won't be another one of your conquests,_ was what she wanted to say. But she couldn't, because she could never be honest with Gippal. You never knew when it would come back to haunt you. Actually, she did know - most likely at the worst time, in the worst place, in front of as many people as possible. Gippal was good at finding ways to embarrass her publicly, and her heart was the one thing she refused to risk for his personal amusement. So instead, she returned his smirk with one of her own and thumbed her nose at him. "I was just thinking that you'd make an awfully convincing sand monkey with your hair spiked up like that. You sure look the part!"

Had his smirk faltered slightly at that statement? Had his eyes lost some of their twinkle? She couldn't have said, because in the next instant his smile was predatory, and he was stalking after her with one of the dirty rags they had discarded, splattered with machina grease and dirt. "Well, if I'm a sand monkey, then you must be a grease monkey!" he yelled as he tackled her.

She had screamed then, and they wrestled and laughed like the children they were. In a way, she was glad, because the mock-battle that ensued had successfully hidden the flaming spots that rode high on her cheeks at her near-admission.

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku shook off the memory as the hairs on the back of her neck rose. A quick glance up, however, showed only Jecht still picking at his toes, Braska at the counter, and Auron studying the menu determinedly. Rikku's gaze lingered on the latter, her mind still caught up in the hazy dream of desert sands.

Could she have actually loved Gippal the way she thought she loved Auron? Everything about Auron was the opposite of the Al Bhed; moody and brooding, and surrounded by the cold snow rather than warm sunlight. Auron's skin was as pale as his hair was dark; Rikku was sure she had only seen his teeth when he bared them in a grimace, like a wild animal preparing to bite its prey. Compared with him, Gippal's easy smiles and carefree attitude seemed boyish and immature. Feeling somehow relieved by the realization, Rikku let out a tiny sigh. _Maybe I could fall in love with Gippal in about 40 years,_ she thought dryly. _That's probably how long it would take him to grow up!_ The thought of Gippal as an old man, still posing crazily on one leg and leering at younger women made her giggle softly.

"Hey. You've got that weird look on your face again."

Rikku blinked and looked up in confusion to see Jecht scrutinizing her suspiciously. "Weird look?" she asked with a nervous smile.

"Yeah," Jecht answered. "Y'know, the one that means you can't be thinkin' anything good."

Rikku blanched. Maybe her face really was an open book. "Well, uh ..." And maybe honesty was the best policy in this case. "... yeah! You're right! So don't ask me about it because if I tell you, then Auron's gonna have to kill us both, and he's already in a bad mood."

Rather than discouraging Jecht as she had hoped, the spark of curiosity took root and turned into a flame. "Naw, see, now you GOTTA tell."

"Oh, poop," Rikku muttered under her breath. "Fine. I was thinking about ..." She sucked in her breath and stole a glance at Auron, who had looked up from the menu at the sound of his name. The eyebrow was slowly creeping upwards again, but at least he wasn't scowling at her. Yet.

"... older men. I think I'm attracted to older men." Well, it was the truth. She could say it with a straight face while staring right at Auron and he wouldn't be able to accuse her of lying. Technically, she wasn't. And, it conveniently explained why she couldn't convince herself to take her attraction to Gippal seriously. That was a comforting thought. "Yeah, that must be it! I like older men. That's why I can't get along with Gippal." A movement caught her eye, and Rikku realized that Auron had dropped his menu onto the table. A quick glance to the side showed that Jecht was also staring.

"You like older men?" Jecht said incredulously, his eyes wide as saucers.

"Gippal?" Auron asked, also staring.

Rikku felt the blush that had been lurking near the surface explode to her cheeks. _I said that out loud? Holy machina, who needs to read my face when I have this motor mouth?_

"Nevermind! Forget I said anything!" Rikku squeaked hastily, making a spectacle of fussing with her unruly braids.

The damage was done, and the smile creeping across Jecht's face could have rivalled one of Gippal's any day. "How much older?" he asked her slyly. "'Cause the way you were starin' at Auron back there makes me think you're lyin' ..."

If it was possible to rupture blood vessels with a blush, Rikku was sure she would be bleeding internally. "How do you know I wasn't staring at Braska, huh?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest defensively and carefully keeping her eyes averted from Auron's form.

"Were you?" Auron's voice was dead serious, and despite Jecht's snigger Rikku couldn't help it as her eyes flew to his face. _Was he - no, he couldn't be -_ Auron didn't get _jealous._ Not in any universe. But he did look like he was ready to murder something. Most likely her, if she didn't answer him soon.

"Ewww, no way!" Rikku blurted out nervously. "That's gross, we're practically related!"

A deadly silence settled over the table. At least, Rikku wished it was deadly. Because then, she would actually die, and not have to live through the storm that she knew was about to break over the table.

"WHAT?" Auron bellowed, all pretences of the menu forgotten. Rikku's eyes widened and she hurriedly tried to shush him as her eyes flew to the counter where both Braska and the clerk were staring at them. The only person who remained silent and seemed to be unsurprised was Jecht; he was staring at her from half-closed eyes, his lips quirked silently. For a fleeting moment, Rikku stared at him, wondering what was going through the burly man's head. If she didn't know better, she might have thought he had planned to drop her guard somehow ...

"Explain yourself!" Auron was hissing at her, quietly now though his eyes burned into her skin with a furious intensity. He was incensed at the unearthing of yet another one of her secrets, and Rikku felt her skin go clammy with panic as Braska approached their table. Would he say anything? Would _Jecht_ say anything?

"Well," Braska said as he seated himself at the table, seemingly oblivious to the tension. "It took some convincing, but he agreed to take us in and serve us dinner for a reasonable price." His eyes drifted over them, lingering on Rikku's suddenly-pale face. "Is something wrong?"

Rikku opened her mouth, her mind still turning frantically as she tried to come up with a viable excuse. Her relief when Jecht interrupted was short lived.

"Rikkma was just sayin' somethin' real interesting here," Jecht offered, smirking at her.

Rikku stared at the blitzball player with silent horror, trying desperately to plead with him to keep his big mouth shut with her eyes. Or at least hypnotise him into silence; _those swirls had to be good for something,_ she thought desperately.

"Oh really?" Braska paused to relieve the clerk of the tankards of ale and plates of steaming soup that had been brought to the table, pushing them out to the others. "What was it?"

Rikku stared into her bowl of clear broth, watching the blobs of grease float lazily across its surface. She swallowed back her nausea and attempted to answer. "I - I ... um, well, I -"

"She likes older men," Jecht supplied easily, picking up his spoon and scooping some soup into his mouth. He swallowed, and then gave Rikku a wink and a grin. "Auron ain't takin' it too well."

Rikku thought she would collapse with relief. Auron glowered and, to her surprise, said nothing.

"Oh," Braska said softly, sparing a careful glance at Auron. "Even if we are friends here, it's probably best if you refrain from telling us all of your secrets, Rikkma." He gave her a weary smile and picked up his spoon, and Rikku felt another wave of guilt for adding once again to Braska's problems. Strong-willed he might have been, but Braska was far from accustomed to the hard travel which the Pilgrimage demanded of him. His face was pale and chalky, and she tried not to notice how his hand shook as he ate.

Humbled into silence, Rikku dropped her head and dedicated herself to the task of eating the thin, watery soup the innkeeper had provided for them. The rest of the meal was conducted in a weary silence, punctuated only by the clack of spoons against the clay bowls and the howl of the wind outside. When they finished, Rikku tensed as Auron stood to assist Braska, pausing only to lean into her. The rush of his warm breath, soured slightly by the soup, blew into her ear.

"A word before you retire," was all he said before moving to assist Braska. Rikku knew it wasn't a request. She swirled the remains of her soup, trying to draw out her meal until he was gone. Jecht cleared his throat, and with a start Rikku realized that if she remained at the table, she would be alone with him instead. _Interrogation by sword or blitzball,_ she realized dimly with a frustrated sigh. Groaning in defeat, Rikku pushed herself to her feet and trailed unwillingly after Auron.

"That one is yours, Rikkma," Braska said, pointing at one of the doors further down the hallway. "If you'll excuse me ..."

"Oh! Yeah, thanks," Rikku said distractedly, her eyes fixed on Auron, who was watching her. Their silent staring contest was broken by Jecht's loud cough as he ambled into the room after Braska.

"We won't wait up for you," he said to Auron with a smirk. The other man simply turned his mouth down into a disapproving frown, but not even Jecht's humour could distract him from his target. Rikku squirmed uncomfortably.

"You're really giving him the wrong idea," Rikku finally said when they were alone in the hall. Her attempt to distract Auron failed miserably.

"You are related to Braska?" he asked her quietly. His gaze was probing, but to her surprise, not angry. It was, however, stern and unforgiving. There would be no wriggling out of answers on this evening, she knew. Not that she wouldn't try, though.

"I'm not! Not really," she added nervously. "Not like that."

"Then why did you say it?" Auron pressed. Rikku remained silent, and she wondered if he was going to explode in anger at her. To her surprise, he only leaned in closer. He was massive, she realized; Auron had just as much muscle as Jecht, he simply kept it hidden under his heavy robes and thick armour. "Tell me the truth, Rikku," he said to her quietly. Her name rolled off of his lips smoothly, like velvet brushing across her skin.

Rikku closed her eyes, trying to understand herself and the swell of emotions that rose inside of her when he said her name. It was a crime, she realized; it was her name. No one should have the right to say it like that; didn't he know he was stripping her of ownership just by pronouncing it like that? It was supremely unfair, and she wondered if he even knew what he was doing.

"Rikku," he murmured again, this time with a touch of impatience as he caught her chin.

She kept her eyes closed, trying to will away the truth and the burn of his fingers on her skin. Gippal never called her by name like that; he always said it with sunlight and a laugh. Auron murmured it like a prayer, a dark secret that was threatening to swallow her whole. If _I'm not in love with him,_ her thoughts whispered softly, _then why do I tremble when he says my name?_ She would blame it on the cold, if his fingers hadn't burned her so. Dimly, she realized he was still waiting for her answer, and that he wouldn't let her go until she did.

"I'm not related to Braska," she finally said, not daring to open her eyes. To her relief, Auron's hand dropped away from her face, but even with her eyes closed she could sense him staring at her. She knew he was waiting patiently for the other shoe to drop.

"I'm related to Cid," she said, so softly that it could have been mistaken for a breath, had he not been leaning in so closely. Abruptly, she felt a brush of air across her face, and then the warmth of his presence was gone. Daring to open her eyes a crack, she sighed in relief - or was it dismay - at what she saw.

He had closed himself off, his face growing hard and distant as he processed the new information. She had seen that look before. It was the same expression he wore when he had learned about Brother on that fateful day in Macalania so long ago.

_He is the same man, in many ways,_ she realized then. Scarred or not, the man before her still held an undeniable power over her heart. It was certainly hammering loudly enough in her ears to be in agreement with that conclusion. _Maybe,_ she thought to herself with a brief glimmer of hope, _it doesn't matter who I thought he was, just who he is._

True to form, Auron turned on her with a fierce scowl. "Don't think I will let this affect the Pilgrimage," were his first words to her, and she almost smiled at his predictability. The smile faltered as he continued to stare at her, and she realized that he wasn't mad. Well okay, he was mad, but not _I'm-kicking-you-out-of-the-party_ mad, just _Rikku's-gone-and-done-it-again_ mad. There was a glimmer of something beneath the surface, a struggle which she caught boiling under his dark eyes.

He hadn't asked her how she was related to Cid, she realized. Even with his years spent in Yevon's disgrace, Auron still couldn't put down the animosity he felt for Cid, leader of the Al Bhed people. But she saw now that it had less to do with Yevon's doctrines and more to do with Braska himself. Or, more correctly, Braska's exile. He didn't want to know how she was related to Cid, she understood; he didn't want to hate her the way she was sure he hated her father.

Rikku flushed deeply; equal parts of shame and pride mixed within her. Auron was making the decision to keep her secrets easier for her, she knew, but part of her swelled in anger. _Coward,_ part of her wanted to rail at him, even though she knew she herself was no braver. Hadn't she run from Gippal, his arms outstretched? _But that was different,_ Rikku told herself stubbornly, ignoring the small voice in the back of her head that kept asking _how?_ Instead she focused on Auron, who had turned away from her and was moving towards the door to Braska's room.

"Auron ..." she said softly, and he paused. _Don't run away from this,_ she wanted to say. _Don't run away from who I am!_ No words came out, however, and he filled the silence for her.

"Get some rest, Rikkma."

The name left her feeling cold and alone, bereft of any warmth she had felt earlier. It wasn't her name; it was the name of a stranger. Rikku thought bitterly to herself that the Auron she remembered would have never ended the conversation where he did; the Auron she knew didn't shirk any truth, no matter how unpleasant.

The door shut quietly behind him, leaving Rikku alone in the hallway with her own confused, muddled feelings. She wasn't in love with the legend anymore, she was fairly sure. But no matter how she tried, she couldn't ignore the strange, gruff, complicated man who would willingly die for any of them, but still ran from himself.


	14. Fiend Filching

**- 14 Fiend Filching -**

Morning dawned over Lake Macalania with a clarity that could only be the result of breath-taking cold weather. No one in the small Summoner's entourage was happy to greet it; Braska was still exhausted from the journey through the forest, Jecht hadn't managed to find himself any more clothing, and Auron was studiously avoiding Rikku.

Rikku herself wasn't feeling very energetic, although that was due more to the fact that she had spent the first half of the night tossing and turning restlessly, replaying the previous evening's conversation over and over again in her head. After giving up on sleep as a lost cause, she had spent the rest of the night pilfering a few 'rightly earned' supplies from the small travel agency - she was certain Braska's bartering skills weren't up to snuff - and then using the long morning hours to sew Jecht a better pair of makeshift moccasins with her supplies.

_At least something productive came out of last night,_ Rikku thought to herself blearily as she tucked her cloak under her chin in preparation for the cold weather outside. Jecht, however, seemed less than thankful for her efforts.

"Did you have to make them pink?" he asked her irritably as he pulled the slippers on.

"Nobody's going to see them under all that snow anyway, so quit complaining!" Rikku shot back, smirking privately to herself. She was actually quite proud of the large pink moogle pom-poms she had worked into the design. Revenge was a dish best served as fuzzily emasculating as possible.

"Rikkma, Jecht," Braska called from the door. "It's time."

With a sigh, they both made their way towards the exit and out into the bitter cold. A quick look around showed that Auron was already far ahead of them, clearing a path through the snow towards the temple in the distance. They made their way in silence to the crest of the hill overlooking the frozen lake, and Rikku paused at the apex to gape at the snow-encrusted canyon they would have to cross.

The path seemed to stretch endlessly before them; Rikku didn't remember the hike to the temple being THAT long. Then again, the last time she had travelled to Macalania Temple, they had arrived by machina and left under Guado duress. Now, with no distractions to interrupt the journey, there seemed to be nothing but snow, snow, and more snow. Rikku let out a loud sigh which crystallized into the frozen air in front of her before setting out.

An hour later, Rikku had a runny nose, numb fingers and a healthy respect for Wakka, who had chosen to walk the entire way during the first Pilgrimage in nothing more than his sandals. On the plus side, Jecht had stopped complaining about his custom footwear fifteen minutes into the journey, and now even appeared to be thankful for the fuzzy pink poufs that covered his ankles. Poorly dressed as he was, he was holding up better than Braska, whose pace had gradually slowed until he was walking alongside of her, bringing up the rear of their small party.

Rikku tried to study Braska surreptitiously, slowing her pace to match his. His shoulders were hunched underneath his long robes, and though his breathing was laboured his cheeks were white as marble. She snuck a glance forward, considering whether or not Auron would listen if she requested a short stop. As she sucked in her breath to shout, however, Braska addressed her.

"Rikkma," he said softly. "Please don't call out to the others."

Rikku shut her mouth and faced Braska curiously. "Don't you wanna stop?" she asked cautiously. "You don't look too good, you know. I mean, you're starting to blend in with the snow there."

Braska shook his head firmly, a small smile flitting across his face. "No ... I cannot rest. This will hardly be the most difficult leg of our travels. If I do not have the strength to overcome a challenge this simple, then what of the rest of our journey?"

"Hey, it's not like we're in a hurry or anything!" Rikku answered quickly. "Who says you have to make it to the temple all in one go?" She paused as both their eyes flickered to the front of the group, landing on the back of Auron's bright red overcoat. "Umm, besides him," Rikku amended quickly. "Auron doesn't count, he's like made for pain!"

Braska chuckled quietly, though it quickly died out in a series of dry coughs. When he could speak again, he regarded her solemnly. "Pain is a part of life in Spira. I find it wondrous that Jecht is free of that burden." He paused, his eyes growing unfocused. "I wish to spread that freedom to all the people of Spira. I can't allow myself to rest for anything until I've accomplished that goal - especially not for my own weaknesses."

Rikku nibbled on her lower lip and fingered the edges of her cloak nervously. "About that, Braska ... don't you think you should say something to Jecht?" She cleared her throat, trying to swallow the lump that had risen in it. "He deserves to know the truth."

They trudged together through the snow for a few moments in silence, before Braska spoke again. "I ... know it is selfish," he began softly. "But I want to enjoy Jecht's happiness. He is different from anyone else I have met. He does not expect things of me. He does not expect me to -"

"Don't say it!" Rikku cut him off quickly. "You don't have to say it out loud," she mumbled dejectedly. "It's bad enough knowing it's gonna happen anyway."

Braska paused to regard her thoughtfully, and then gave her a soft smile. "Thank you for believing in me," he told her sincerely. "Your words give me more strength than you know."

Rikku scowled and bit down on the urge to yell at Braska for his gratitude. _Why are you thanking me for telling you I think you're going to die?_ she wanted to rail. It wasn't so much belief as a slowly-building sense of dread, though she could hardly tell _him_ that. He looked much too tired to weather yet another argument from her, however, so she kept her lips pressed together. Another silence fell between them, this one uncomfortable. _He's too much like Yuna,_ she thought to herself, squinting ahead at Jecht. "It's gonna turn into one big mess when he finds out," she observed.

"I know," Braska agreed quietly. He seemed smaller and frailer than ever, huddled over as he admitted that to her, and Rikku felt her heart constrict with sympathy. Almost reflexively, she reached out and grabbed his hand, trying to give him what little comfort she could; Braska looked up sharply, surprised, before his features melted into a grateful smile and he squeezed her hand in return. His fingers were blocks of ice against her own, though, and Rikku frowned in dismay. "Are you really positively sure you don't want to stop?" she asked hesitantly, cupping bother hands around Braska's own and trying to rub some warmth into him. "I could start a fire or something, y'know ..." She trailed off as a familiar prickling sensation raced across her neck and glanced up quickly. Auron had stopped to look back at them, and his eyes were trained on her. Or, more accurately, they were focused on her hands, which were joined with Braska's. His gaze flickered to her face, and then he abruptly turned and continued to trudge up the canyon. Rikku gulped and quickly released Braska's hand as though she had been burned. To her dismay, the small interchange didn't go unnoticed.

"What happened between you two last night?" Braska asked her, his tone cautious. "Auron is distancing himself from you once again."

Rikku felt her face drop into a scowl and glared at the back of the man in question. "Like I know what that big dummy's thinking," she grumbled half-heartedly, kicking at the snow. Her head shot up as Jecht's voice broke through their conversation.

"Another lover's quarrel, eh? What, ya didn't let him into your room last night or somethin'?" Jecht turned around to face them and trudged through the snow backwards, folding his arms over his head. "He's been snappin' at me every time I get close. The man needs to get laid!"

Rikku felt her face turn red enough to melt the surrounding snow. "What are you looking at me for?" she screeched, clenching her fists together and glaring at the smirking blitzball player.

"Jecht," Braska said with the tiny smile that revealed nothing. "Perhaps you shouldn't tease Auron and Rikkma quite so much. I don't think they enjoy your jibes."

"Yeah! Lay off it already!" Rikku added, sticking her tongue out at Jecht and crossing her eyes for good measure.

"Relax, don't get your panties in a twist," Jecht growled, lowering his arms. "I didn't come here to tease ya anyway," he added. "I told Auron I thought we should stop an' let you two wusses catch your breath, but he bit my head off."

"I don't need to stop," Braska said immediately, his smile thinning.

Rikku, sensing an opportunity, pounced. "Yeah, well I do," she said, stopping abruptly and planting her feet into the snow. "I'm bushed. We should take a vote! Majority rules. And I say we stop right now!"

"Me too," Jecht said, crossing his arms over his chest as he also stopped moving. By coincidence, of course, he happened to plant himself directly in Braska's path. Taking the cue, Rikku scooted to Jecht's side and also blocked Braska's way.

"Very funny," Braska sighed as he tried to step around them. Rikku quickly moved to intercept him, and when he tried for the other side, Jecht sidestepped into his path.

"Give it up, we're both faster than you," Jecht said with an air of finality.

Braska studied them for a moment, before sighing and shaking his head with another smaller, genuine smile. "Very well. We can rest here for a few moments."

Rikku felt herself beaming, and Jecht let out a loud whoop before turning around and waving at Auron, who had stopped some distance away to stare at them. "Did ya hear that? We're campin' out here!" he yelled gleefully.

That brought Auron stomping back down the path with a look on his face so fierce that Rikku wasn't entirely certain he wouldn't just pick them up and toss them into the canyon himself. When he was finally close enough to speak, he addressed only Braska. "You wish to rest, my lord?"

"That's what he said, so that's what we're gonna do," Rikku piped in stubbornly before Braska had a chance to open his mouth. "No take-backs! We voted, fair and square!"

"Not exactly fair," Braska murmured with a glint of humour, but he gave Auron the tiniest of nods.

Auron's lips twisted into a scowl as he considered debating with them; a quick glance over both her and Jecht's twin expressions of determination quickly quelled whatever protest he had been planning. Instead, he cast around, searching their surroundings, until he found what he was looking for.

"Over there," he said curtly, pointing at a small shelter under one of the overhanging rocky outcrops.

"Alright! Lunch!" Jecht cheered, grabbing Braska by the arm and pulling him towards their temporary camp. Rikku didn't follow them, instead trying to form some words to say to Auron now that he was finally standing by her side. Licking her lips, she cleared her throat uneasily. "About last night -"

"You'll need to provide the fire," Auron said abruptly, turning away from her. Her eyes followed his back as he retreated towards the shelter, and with a sigh, she dropped her head and stomped after him, fuming silently. _So he thinks he can just ignore me now, huh? Well, he's got another thing coming ..._

Jecht had already cleared the snow away from the cold rock, and was lining the makeshift fire pit with the precious few scraps of tinder that they had managed to collect. He opened his mouth to greet her and then, as he looked up, quickly shut it again and backed away. Rikku couldn't blame him; she pointed at the fire pit and lit the blaze with a little more enthusiasm than was strictly necessary. All three men ducked out of the way as the flame sprang to life with a blast. Once the smoke cleared and the hiss of rapidly melting snow died out, she coughed delicately and then glared at her companions, daring them to make a comment. Braska and Jecht wisely decided to busy themselves with preparing a small meal, while Auron silently edged away towards the entrance of the cave. Rikku's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, Auron!" she called out sweetly, her eyebrow twitching. "Where do you think you're going?"

Auron stiffened momentarily; he was not one to be cowed even with her temperamental display of magic. However, he turned and faced her squarely. "That fire will attract fiends. I need to scout the area." He froze as Rikku leapt to his side, grabbing onto his arm and clutching it determinedly.

"Great, I was just thinking that we needed to collect some supplies anyway." She began to drag him away from the warmth of the fire, sparing a glance back at a bemused Jecht and significantly more amused-looking Braska. "We'll be back soon," she promised.

As soon as they were clear of the cave, Auron shook her off of his arm and shot her an irritable glance. "What are you doing?" he asked her brusquely.

"I told you already," Rikku huffed, marching ahead of him. "Hunting for supplies." She heard his annoyed snort, and her scowl softened as she glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. "I wanted to get you alone. I mean, don't you think we should talk?"

"Hnn," Auron answered obliquely, and Rikku had to stop herself from smacking him in frustration.

"Well, I think we should talk," she continued importantly after the silence between them began to loom. "Just because I'm related to Cid doesn't mean anything's changed. I'm just as Al Bhed as I was before, last I checked. Now I know this next one is gonna be the hard for you to believe," she added theatrically. "But I'm also still Braska's Guardian, just like you."

Auron cleared his throat uncomfortably, his gaze finally settling on her. Seeming to come to a decision, he tilted his head towards her. "I never doubted it."

Rikku pulled up short and stared at him, a smile threatening to break over her face. "So we're good?" she asked him cautiously.

In response, Auron drew his sword and brandished it at her.

Rikku's squeaked and reflexively fumbled for her daggers. _Just how did I piss him off now?_ she thought frantically.

"Look out!" he growled, and all she had time to think was _What?_ before he dove at her and they went tumbling through the snow. A rush of air and the sound of snapping teeth flew over their heads, and when Rikku looked up, she was staring directly into a large, glassy yellow eye. Naturally, she did the first thing she could think of.

"Rikku!" Auron yelled, pulling her away from the fiend's snapping jaws as it roared in pain.

"Got it!" Rikku cheered, twisting out of Auron's grasp and tucking away the swirling bottle of pungent musk she had managed to pull out of the creature. "Don't kill it yet, I might be able to get another out of him," she instructed, pulling out her daggers as she sized up the angry fiend. Auron, of course, responded by slashing his sword at the creature, which skilfully darted out of the way of his heavy blade. "Hey! I told you not to kiiii... uhh ..." she trailed off as the creature's wings folded over its huge eye. Then, a blast of cold air knocked her over and she saw stars. "Wow!" Rikku yelled, her eyes wide as the landscape swirled crazily around her. _Is snow supposed to be green?_ she wondered absently. "I forgot he could do that," she admitted sheepishly to herself as she readied her daggers unsteadily. A hazy, dark shape swam before her, and Rikku rushed at it instinctively, trying to drive her hand underneath its surface. _Pyreflies, only pyreflies,_ she told herself sternly, willing her hand to part the Evil Eye's leathery skin.

Instead of passing cleanly underneath the surface of the fiend's body, Rikku's hand slapped painfully against a hard, unyielding surface. The blob grunted, and then struck her across the forehead none-too-gently. Pain blossomed across her temples where she had been hit, but it did serve to clear the stars from her vision. With a start, Rikku realized that she hadn't been reaching for the fiend at all, but rather Auron. She was, in fact, pressed up uncomfortably close against him, her hand stuck half way down the front of his red overcoat. The expression on his face could hardly be called _pleased._

"Get your hand out of my jacket and hit that thing," he instructed her before shoving her towards the flying eye that was circling angrily around them.

"Yessir!" Rikku chirped, feeling intoxicated and dizzy from the sudden close contact. If there was one thing she was thankful for, it was that the little fiend before them wasn't very strong, even if it was too quick for Auron to touch. She concentrated on harnessing her magic - a simple fira was all it would take - and took aim. The spell flew from her hand with a loud explosion, and the floating eyeball was quickly reduced to a rapidly-dissolving collection of pyreflies. She was happily picking through the remains, pocketing the dropped gil, when she felt Auron's presence looming behind her. Cautiously, she looked over her back and smiled weakly. "Umm ... hi?" she giggled nervously.

Auron glared at her with a thunderous expression and said nothing.

"Oh, all right," Rikku blurted out, reaching into her pocket with an exasperated sigh. She pulled out the small pouch of gil she had palmed and threw it back to Auron, a pout splashed across her face. "I would've put that to good use, you know," she muttered.

"On more jewellery, no doubt," Auron said as he tucked his pouch of money away more securely - this time into the waistband of his pants, Rikku noted with a half-disappointed and half-intrigued glance. She made a mental note to reach low the next time she attempted to steal while confused. "You should have killed the eye immediately."

"No way!" Rikku yelled, scrambling to her feet and displaying the items she had managed to collect from their victim. "Look at all this stuff! If we're really gonna make it through the rest of this journey, we need a lot more supplies than we have right now. And don't tell me you're gonna buy them with that," she added, sending a significant glance towards Auron's trousers.

Auron frowned, but didn't contradict her. His brow furrowed, however, and he scowled at her. "And what if it had confused me? That surely won't be the last Evil Eye we see, especially if we remain standing here exposed like this."

Rikku's smile dropped as she tapped her chin with a finger. "I got it!" she said suddenly, her eyes flashing. "All you gotta do right now is guard me so I have the chance to steal some stuff. Just worry about blocking whatever the fiends might send towards me, okay? And if you get confused or something, just hit yourself with your sword! It's perfect!"

Auron stared at her in disbelief. "That's your solution?" he finally managed to say.

"Well, umm ... yeah?" Rikku said, smiling nervously. "What? You're the one wearing the armour," she pointed out delicately when he snorted. "And it's not like you'd wanna hit little ol' me with that big nasty sword of yours, right?"

Auron continued to regard her for another long moment before closing his eyes and shaking his head slowly. "Of course," he managed to say, sarcasm colouring his voice. "Though it would be a shame if I were to slip," he added with a hint of dry humour.

Rikku gulped and decided to ignore him; a snow wolf had already poked its head over one of the snow drifts, attracted by the noise and colour of the remaining pyreflies. "No more joking," she said as she flexed her palm and glared at the wolf determinedly. Auron stepped before her silently and readied his sword. "Uhh ..." she mumbled, sparing him a wary glance. "You _were_ joking, right?"

"Hurry up," Auron grumbled as the wolf rushed at them.

**.x.x.x.**

"Wow, I'm all tuckered out," Rikku groaned as she trudged wearily through the snow. Auron grunted in silent agreement, quaffing a high-potion she had managed to snitch from one of the fiends earlier that day. "It was worth it, though," she said cheerily, patting the now-bulging pockets on her belt. "Thanks a lot," she added as an afterthought; with Auron running interference for her, stealing from the fiends really had been a lot easier than she expected. They made a surprisingly good team, her quick reflexes complimenting his more carefully planned attacks. The physical exertion of the battles they had fought had done much more to break down the barriers than any talk might have, and as they made their way back to the camp, the silence that settled between them wasn't uncomfortable.

"Rikku," Auron said quietly, and while she began to cheer inwardly at his use of her real name, the tone in which he said it prompted her to remain silent. "I apologize for avoiding you earlier."

Rikku blinked. _Well, that was unexpected,_ she thought, a small flush coming to her face. "Hmm," she hummed in surprise, still not entirely certain of what he was trying to say. "I guess I kinda understand," she admitted quietly. "Some of the stuff Cid's done wasn't anything I'm proud of either."

"So ... are you Raenn's younger sister?" he asked abruptly, stopping to look at her.

Tripping, Rikku caught herself before she could go sprawling forward into the snow. That at least answered one question - Auron certainly didn't know her family as well as he thought he did. She considered her options - she could lie ... and open up the chance for Auron to mention something to Braska, who she was sure wasn't quite as ignorant of her family tree. Or, she could tell him the truth - a thought which was quickly discarded. If he didn't laugh at her outright, he'd probably be furious, especially if she really was endangering Spira's future with her actions. Besides ... how was she supposed to tell him that he was going to die and spend the next ten years in a personal purgatory of sorts? That kind of information could put a damper on anyone's outlook, and Auron was already pretty dour to start with.

She decided on obfuscation - it wasn't exactly lying, but it would relieve her of the burden of truth. "I'm not a part of that family anymore," she said carefully, trying to make her voice sound as leaden as possible. It wasn't that hard, considering how tired she was from all that fiend hunting. A small shiver of guilt ran up her back as she saw Auron flush slightly and cough, buying into her little act. Of course, feeling guilty made acting guilty much more believable, so Rikku decided to wallow in her self pity for a while longer, carefully avoiding Auron's gaze as they approached the camp.

"I will say nothing," Auron said as the glow of the fire came into view. "But Braska is no fool. You may have to tell him yourself, eventually."

Rikku pursed her lips together worriedly; Braska was going to be a bigger problem than he realized. "I'll consider telling him when he starts talking to Jecht," she said finally, furrowing her eyebrows together. "Until then, Summoner or not, he's got no right to ask."

Auron nodded at her quietly. "Very well, Rikkma," he said as they entered the cave. Jecht and Braska looked up from the fire at their entrance, and Rikku quickly forced a bright smile onto her face.

"'ey, you're back. We were wonderin' what happened to you two," Jecht called out, waving them in. "There's still a little food left, if ya want some."

"Mmm, yeah! But first, we got a little something for you guys, too!" Rikku cheered, reaching into her belt and throwing a few bottles at each of her companions. "Here, a little antidote just in case you step on something nasty, Jecht ... oh, and I got some potions for you, Braska!" The men accepted their small bundles with identical expressions of surprise; to Rikku's dismay, however, she noted that Braska's pallor had not improved very much since the beginning of their rest. Potions could heal almost any physical injury, but there was little they could do to combat exhaustion.

Auron also seemed to share her assessment, seating himself on the ground near the fire and reaching for the small bowl of soup Jecht handed to him rather than harassing their companions to clear away the camp. Rikku settled herself uneasily at his side; as she sipped at her soup, she snuck a few worried glances at Braska, wondering what could be done to help him. She ate as slowly as she could, considering her options, but all too soon the soup was finished and Auron was standing up.

"The temple is not too far ahead," he informed them, watching Braska carefully. "If we start now, we may still manage to make it before nightfall." Behind his carefully worded demand, Rikku heard the concern - they had to leave immediately, or risk spending the evening exposed to the elements - something she was sure Braska would weather even worse than the strain of travelling. Braska nodded in agreement, and once again Rikku found herself wishing that she had some kind of miracle cure to offer him, other than the few high-potions she had managed to snitch -

"That's it!" she yelled, shooting to her feet. Then she coughed as she noticed the others staring at her. "Umm, I mean, can you guys take care of cleaning up the camp while I talk to Braska for a little bit?" she mumbled, grabbing Braska and pushing him towards the snow. Auron arched an eyebrow at her, but she mouthed a hasty "trust me!" to him as she ushered the Summoner out of the comfort of their camp.

"Rikkma?" Braska asked her as soon as they were clear of the others. "What is this about?" He frowned in confusion as Rikku pushed him even farther away from the camp; she didn't want to risk either Auron or Jecht seeing her, particularly since she wasn't certain that she'd be able to control her reactions.

"Guarding you," Rikku answered, dropping her hand to the garment grid. The sphere gate began to glow as she activated it, and then, crossing her daggers before her, she allowed the change to wash over her. It was comforting and familiar, as though she was falling into herself, a confident smile threatening to burst from her lips. She heard Braska's sharp intake of breath as the light died away and opened one eye to regard him.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of that display?" Braska asked, his smile broadening as he regarded Rikku.

Rikku winked at him and flipped a braid over her shoulder, carefully stashing away her machine gun. "You know you love it," she quipped, rooting busily through her pouches for the potions she had collected earlier. "I had this totally brilliant idea, but I didn't want the others to see me like this. You know Auron, he'd probably flip."

"The last time you wore that outfit, it wasn't Auron who was doing the attacking," Braska observed tactfully, still keeping a wary eye on her.

Rikku winced slightly but ignored him. "Alright, so maybe it was me. Still ... I don't want Jecht to see me like this either. Just think of all the jokes he'd make!"

"I doubt Jecht would be in the mood to jest while you were pointing your gun at him," Braska replied, though he seemed relieved to note that the Alchemist dressphere hadn't ruined Rikku's good humour. "I still don't understand what you're doing," he added carefully, watching as she mixed the contents of one vial with another and shook them together furiously.

"I'm gonna hit you with something that'll help," Rikku said, holding up the glowing, volatile concoction she had mixed together as Braska's eyes widened. "Hold still, you'll feel better in a second!"

"Rikkma, I don't think that's a good idea -" Braska's protest was cut short as Rikku ignored his words and flung the vial at him instead. It shattered with a small pop against his chest, and immediately he began to glow. "What in Yevon's name!" he managed to gasp out as the faint glow engulfed his body completely, flashing violently before winking out, leaving his robes completely dry.

Rikku blinked and lowered her hand from where she had raised it to protect her face. "Double high-potion mix," she explained as Braska looked up from his hands, his cheeks flushed with surprise. Already, the colour was returning to his face rapidly as he straightened and took in his surroundings with renewed vigour. "Guaranteed to make you feel good, at least for a little while," she said with a wink. "It'll probably wear off before the end of the day, but at least you'll be able to make it to the temple. It's not harmful, trust me," she assured him quickly.

Braska smiled at her, for once holding onto his staff firmly rather than using it as a crutch. "I do feel much better," he admitted to her gratefully. "I wonder how you'll explain this to Auron and Jecht, though. I hardly think they'd approve of you using me as your test subject."

"Hey, it's not a test!" Rikku protested with a pout, shouldering her gun. "I've used that mix on myself when I needed a pick-me-up lotsa times!" She bit her lip and looked back in the direction of the camp. "Though, uh, maybe you don't have to tell 'em, right?" She shook her head and returned her gaze to Braska, giving him a confident smile. "Naw ... I'm sure Auron can figure me better than that by now. He knows I wouldn't poison you."

The smile on Braska's face faltered, dimming into something less open. "Ahh," he said quietly. "Wonderful ... I'm glad that you managed to smooth over your differences," he observed. Rikku winced; Braska didn't _look_ like he thought it was wonderful, she noted uncomfortably. She ignored him, however, even though she sensed his uneasiness - the last thing she needed was having her uncle become even more interested in her than he already was. Auron might believe that she was Raenn's sister, but she knew if Braska grew curious, there would be little she could say to throw him off the scent. Still, she felt guilty about ignoring his feelings - their journey was difficult enough as it was.

"We should get back to the others," Rikku said decisively, her hand hovering over the garment grid. She froze, however, as a loud chitter echoed through the snowy field. "... that wasn't you, was it," she said carefully as she watched Braska's mouth tighten into a thin line.

"Rikkma, turn around. Slowly," he instructed her as he held his staff out, beginning to twirl it in a complex pattern. "Try not to make any noise," he added.

Rikku never was good at following instructions. She whirled around quickly, fully intending to blast the fiend who had so rudely interrupted them with her machine gun. Her mouth fell open as she spotted the sleek, gleaming body of the insect that was approaching them from over the hillside, one thought flashing to the forefront of her mind - _but this isn't the arena!_

"I've never seen a fiend quite that large before," Braska observed uneasily as he cast a protective shell over her. "What do you think it is?"

The Espada halted its advance and clicked its mandibles together audibly, taking in its prey with beady, unsettlingly intelligent eyes.

"It's trouble," Rikku answered, her gun wavering as a sheen of sweat broke over her forehead. "We are in deep pickles," she added with a nervous squeak.

_**AN:** Thanks to Skittleferret for catching the goof. :-)_


	15. A Quick Battle

**- 15: A Quick Battle - **

"What in Yevon's name _is_ that thing?" Braska asked between breaths, casting yet another protective spell over Rikku. The vitality booster she had given him was coming in handy; it was lucky that she had managed to hit him with her potion mix before the creature came into view. If there was one thing Espadas were notorious for, it was their incredible speed, and she and Braska would need every advantage they could get.

"It's called an Espada, and..." Rikku squinted, frowning as she studied the huge insect, "it's... slower than normal." _I guess it's all this snow,_ she thought to herself. Still – what was it doing _here?_ She'd always thought those terrible creatures they'd faced at the monster arena were the result of the caretaker's mad breeding techniques. Apparently, however, some of them were natural occurrences. The Espada chittered once more and clicked its mandibles together, advancing towards them. Rikku swallowed.

"Braska... umm, maybe you want to start summoning? Like, _right now?_" Rikku squeaked, edging away from him. Two targets were better than one, she figured, but Rikku only had fuzzy memories of her arena battles with the tame version – if you could call it that – of an Espada. That was mostly because she had spent the great bulk of her time on her back, staring dazedly at the sky after being brought back from the brink of death by yet another phoenix down. In the end, Kimahri had been the one to fell the beast. Nearly everyone else had gone down for the sake of distracting the hellishly quick creature; and even that victory, really, had been more a matter of luck than anything else. The Ronso's high jump had ended with a chitin-shattering crunch, his halberd buried deeply between the thing's eyes.

This time, there would be no spear-wielding Ronso to save the day if they were knocked out. The only one who would be able to deal any sort of serious damage to the insect's tough shell was Auron, with his armour-piercing sword – but he was much too slow to reach the thing, even if it was handicapped by the chill.

Braska, after a brief moment of doubt, chose to forgo his obvious questions and began dancing. Unfortunately, the movement caught the Espada's attention, and it made a gravity-defying leap over the snow bank to land nearly in front of them. Rikku let out a tiny scream and reflexively fired her machine gun at the Espada.

"Hey, ugly!" she screamed, jumping up and down and flipping off as many rude gestures as she could manage with the machine gun in her hand. "Your fight's over here with me!" Rikku grinned as the Espada swung around... and then felt her knees buckle as its beady eyes focused solely on her. "Uh, yeah," she said, her voice unnaturally high. "This would be an excellent time for an aeon to make his appearance!" Her words cut off into an abrupt shriek as she ducked under the deadly claw that scythed outwards at her. "Braska!" she screamed, scrambling backwards and sending soft, powdery snow flying everywhere in her haste. "Bahamut can come out anytime now!"

There was no response from the Summoner, and Rikku felt her eyes grow round and large as she looked with horror upon the huge, monstrous creature rearing above her, its eyes gleaming maliciously –

An earth-shaking roar shook the ground, and Rikku almost wept with relief as the clouds parted in a swirl of colour overhead. Bahamut swept down from the sky like a speeding arrow, not even pausing to land with his typical arrogant battle-shrug. Instead, the great dragon slammed directly into the back of the rearing Espada, sending both of the massive creatures flying to the ground in a flurry of white. The noise of their scuffle was deafening, and Rikku clapped her hands over her ears.

"Braska!" she breathed, searching for him frantically amongst the now-churning sea of white. After a moment, she managed to spot the red flash of his robes, and with a grunt pushed to her feet. He took no notice of her as she raced toward him, his hands outstretched to the sky and his face frozen in concentration. Reaching his side, Rikku took stock of their surroundings fearfully – they were too close to the battle. Though his responses seemed to be better than the last time he had summoned Bahamut, Braska still needed his complete concentration to control the fight. At the rate things were moving, the two creatures were threatening to turn both of them into neat little stains on the icy ground. Another shower of snow blasted over them as Bahamut struggled the Espada, and in a moment of desperation, Rikku threw herself over Braska to prevent him from tumbling. Despite her best efforts to protect him, the movement still broke Braska's thrall, and there was a roar of pain as the Espada managed to score a heavy slash against the confused dragon.

Rikku released Braska, half-turning, her breath catching in her throat as her eyes took in the sight. The Espada obviously gained the upper hand, having freed itself of Bahamut's grip. It was now wisely staying out of the powerful dragon's range with quick, agile leaps. Every now and then it would close in for a quick slash, prompting another furious roar from the hapless summon. Rikku watched it with fascination, forgetting herself for a moment as she studied the creature. Its smooth, black shell glistened in the afternoon sunlight, marred only by the broken, twisted areas where Bahamut had managed to injure it. From those wounds, she could almost hear the faint whistle of the Farplane thrumming through the creature's body.

_Strange... I never noticed that before,_ Rikku mused to herself. Then again, the last time she had fought one of these, she'd practically spent the entire battle continuously passed out. Now, with the benefit of a little distance and respite from its attacks, she could feel the power gathering around it. The whistle sounded again, and Rikku felt herself releasing her dressphere. _I know that sound, _she thought._ I have to try and capture it..._ Her costume flickered and faded, even as she felt her trusted daggers re-forming in her hands.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT?"

Rikku blinked and tore her gaze away from the battle. Auron and Jecht had emerged from the small camp; Auron was already holding his sword out as he warily circled the perimeter of the titans' battle. Jecht, who had done the shouting, was crossing the field much more carelessly in the opposite direction, his sword also held loosely in his hands. "We leave you alone for two minutes, and this is what you cook up?"

"Jecht! Shut up!" Rikku hissed at him, wondering at the man's sanity. Her glare melted into a look of confusion when his eyes widened and his feet picked up to a run. With a sense of foreboding, she directed her attention back towards the battle – and winced as she saw a massive tail flying towards them. Rikku turned and threw her arms around Braska once more – screw the summoning rapture! He wouldn't be able to concentrate on _anything_ if he was _missing his head. _

She heard more than felt the impact of Bahamut's tail as it slammed into them both, sending Summoner and Guardian alike flying. Rikku landed rather painfully face-first in the snow a good distance away from Braska, who was on his back. Unfortunately, he was also groaning - and with a sinking sensation Rikku realized that it signalled the end of his summoning rapture. Even as she turned around, she could see Bahamut's scaled hide turn glossy as he separated into millions of pyreflies and faded away. The Espada clicked in confusion, put off by the sudden disappearance of its opponent. It was at that moment that Auron decided to make his presence known, running forward with his sword at the ready, smashing a blow onto the Espada's back that sent a spray of dark blood flying into the air. The creature squealed in surprise – a grating, high-pitched sound – and spun around to slash at the cause of its pain.

"You stay away from him!" Rikku yelled, dashing forward in an attempt – to do _what_, she didn't really know, but she _did know_ that Auron wouldn't be able to dodge the swiftly descending claw in time – and that nothing short of the most powerful white magics could actually stop that creature's Death Claw once it hit. She held her daggers at the ready, preparing to dig them into the creature's wounded back, but as she approached, time seemed to slow down. The whistling in the air became louder, and through the black ichor spreading across the insect's back, Rikku could make out small flashes of glittering light.

_Change of plans,_ she thought absently as she ran closer, closer now, close enough to touch it. Strangely, it didn't smell at all – even with all the blood it was spreading over the ground, it retained nothing but the light scent of crystal and water, thrumming with the energy of pyreflies. Almost unable to help herself, she reached out and touched the surface of the insect's skin, watching it ripple beneath her fingertips. And then her hand was delving through, through, down into the creature's soul, and the sound of the wind was unbearably loud, like millions of pyreflies screaming in anguish, and she closed her fist around that anguish and _pulled – _

"- Rikkma!" Auron was yelling into her ear, and Rikku came to her senses with a start, her hand still tightly closed in a fist. He was dragging her away, she realized faintly, and the creature before them was thrashing in pain. "What did you do to it?" he grunted into her ear, setting her down when it became clear that she had regained the use of her own feet.

"I... I don't know," Rikku answered honestly, looking at her closed fist. Faint strains of sound came from it, and when she opened her hand, a few swirls of black mist danced in her palm. "A piece of the Farplane," she whispered in awe, staring in mild shock at what she had stolen out of the thing. It was a rare find, to be sure, but she wondered why it seemed so different, now, so hypnotising...

"Rikkma!" Auron chastised her again, dragging her back towards Jecht and Braska. "Try to stay focused! If you have another episode now –" He trailed off meaningfully.

Shaking her head to clear it, Rikku flashed Auron a brief smile of gratitude before bottling the murky swirls of smoke in an empty vial. "Sorry," she mumbled. Then she frowned and watched the insect thrash on the snow. "I don't think that confusion will last for long... we need to run," she said hurriedly. "We can't defeat an Espada by ourselves right now!"

"Espada?" Auron asked, eyeing the creature. "If you're familiar with it, tell us its strengths and weaknesses."

"It doesn't have a weakness, not one I know of," Rikku admitted truthfully. "It's super-fast, though, and if it even scratches you with one of those claws..." She trailed off, drawing a thumb over her throat and gagging. "We need to skadoodle, like right now!"

"Too late," Jecht groaned, pointing at the insect. Its convulsions had stilled, and it was slowly approaching them, practically radiating waves of pure malice. "So whadda we do now?"

"You're asking me?" Rikku squeaked in disbelief. "I don't know doodly squat about strategizing! I just point, and you're supposed to kill!" That earned her a brief glare from Auron, who then promptly ignored her protests.

"You're the only one who knows it," Auron countered, his eyes fixed on the creature. He glanced over his shoulder as Braska stirred and groaned softly. "My lord!" he said. "Are you injured?"

"S-sorry I failed you," Braska managed to mumble as he rose to his feet. Though weakened from the summoning, his face set into a grim line and he gripped his staff firmly. "But we can't give up yet. Please, tell us what you know, and quickly, Rikkma."

Gulping, Rikku nodded and turned her attention back to the Espada. "Its hide is tough, so we're gonna have to hit it where it's already been injured... oh, poop," Rikku muttered as she inspected the creature's back. "Did I mention that it regenerates? It looks like most of the wounds are closing already." She swore softly.

"Then I'll just have to reopen them," Auron replied stiffly, hefting his sword in preparation to rush the creature. He stopped as Rikku held him back.

"Don't, " she warned. "You and Braska are too slow, you'll run into that thing's claws for sure. Only me and Jecht have a chance at hitting it. Just leave it to us!"

"Leave it to us, she says?" Jecht repeated in disbelief, looking at his sword. "I don't even know how to use this damn thing!"

Panicking slightly, Rikku reached for the first spell she could find – _thunder, of course,_ she noted wryly – and threw it out at the Espada, scorching the ground and halting its advance briefly. "Less talk, more fight!" she yelled. "We don't have time to argue about this, Jecht. Just get in there and... I dunno... hit it, or something!"

Jecht scowled in return. "Oh I'll hit it all right," he mumbled, planting his sword squarely into the ground and mashing his palms into a rough triangle. This captured everyone's attention.

"Jecht? What are you doing?" Braska asked, before the question was answered by a flare of white magic. Jecht ignored the others, whispering a few words to himself before pointing at the Espada and letting the spell fly. There was a moment of silence as everyone held their breath, and then Jecht let out a loud whoop.

"ALL RIGHT! It sunk!" he yelled, grabbing his sword and bouncing into a fighting crouch that unnervingly echoed Tidus' own battle movements.

"What in Yevon's name did you just do?" Auron hissed, looking unpleasantly surprised. "I thought you said you only knew a few spells!"

"Relax, Auron. That was a slow spell that he cast," Braska replied with a note of approval, even as he twirled his staff around in his own casting stance. With a few whispered words, the magic erupted and spilled over Jecht, who gave another whoop of delight. "And that," he added with a weak smile, "was a haste spell. Go... 'beat it up,' as Rikkma might say."

Jecht was already running, his sword swinging behind him as he let out another mad cackle of delight. Rikku stared after him, feeling like the greatest idiot in Spira. _Didn't Tidus already know how to cast time magic early on?_ she thought. Of course he had to learn it from someone. Blitzball players took to heart every bit of magic that would help with their game, and Jecht _was_ one of the best – or so Tidus had said. _Maybe... maybe we can actually beat this thing,_ Rikku thought with a moment's hope. A familiar tingle she recognized as a haste spell ran down her spine, and she looked back at Braska, surprised to see him smiling as he lowered his hands.

"I think you had better assist Jecht, Rikkma," he instructed her. "I've already given you what protections I can, and I don't think that he's quite mastered that sword of his yet."

"Right," Rikku yelled, setting off at a run to join Jecht. She let out a small groan of disbelief as she watched him fight; eager as he was to help, Jecht was somewhat... _lacking,_ in the finesse department. He was currently using the broad side of his massive sword to bat away the Espada's attempts to spear him through with its claws. "You're supposed to hit it with the pointy end, Jecht!" she yelled out sarcastically as she tumbled and dove between a few stray claws.

"You try -" Jecht puffed, batting away another claw, "- hitting this thing! Even slowed it's faster than me!"

Rikku smirked, feeling the rush of the haste spell flow through her veins. "I'll show you how it's done," she cheered, darting in between two of the creature's legs and digging her daggers into the weaker segment of its slender, exposed joints. The Espada let out a screech of pain and whirled, faster than Rikku imagined it could move, upon her. Once again she saw the deadly black claws descending towards her head and she shut her eyes, wincing, as one last thought flashed through her mind. _Oooh, this is gonna hurt!_

And boy, did it ever. The world spun as her nerves screamed in agony, followed quickly by a brief, peaceful moment of numb blackness. And then, all of a sudden, Rikku was screaming in pain and shock as she felt violently pulled back into her body. A few stray tufts of the phoenix down Jecht had thrown floated lazily beside her, but she remained still only long enough to register the fact that the Espada had nicked her before launching herself into motion. If there was one thing Rikku had learned from her last fight, it was that Espadas were attracted to phoenix downs like moths to a flame. She was already rolling across the ground when she heard the clack of the creature's joints bend beside her ear, striking at the snow where her torso had been just moments before.

"Holy moley!" Rikku managed to yell as she narrowly missed being impaled by one of the creature's back legs. _This was definitely not the way to wake up after a near-death experience,_ she thought fleetingly as she dodged another thrust. "Jecht! Do something!"

"I'm tryin'!" Jecht yelled back at her, hacking at the Espada's legs. All the speed in the world didn't seem to be able to compete with the fact that Jecht barely knew how to hold his sword properly. After a few more futile attempts to distract the creature with his wild swings, Jecht let out a low string of curses and simply hurled his sword as though it were a blitzball at the creature. Rikku squeaked in surprise and ducked as Jecht's sword whizzed through the air towards her head; moments later, she was showered with warm, odourless black goo as two of the insect's legs collapsed at her side, completely severed. Not one to let an opportunity slip by, Rikku quickly wriggled her way out of the immediate grasp of the squealing insect and rejoined Jecht's side.

"Strike!" he crowed cheerily, giving Rikku a huge smile.

"You _idiot!_" Rikku replied, her hand snaking out to slap Jecht lightly against the forehead as she pulled him away from the battle and back towards Braska and Auron. Behind her, she could already hear the Espada's shrieks dying out as its legs began to regenerate with the same unusual speed that the rest of its body did.

"We saw what happened," Braska said with concern as he let a much-needed healing spell wash over Rikku. "Are you all right?"

"For the moment," Rikku replied sourly. Then she wheeled on Jecht. "I _told_ you that this thing had a tough hide! Only you or Auron can even _think_ about piercing it with your swords, and Auron's way too slow to even touch it!" This earned her a grunt of annoyance from Auron, but Rikku ignored him. "And then you just threw your own sword away!" she screeched in disbelief.

"Hnn," Auron added. "I can see that we're going to need a few more lessons on proper grip," he added darkly, giving Jecht a pained glare.

Jecht frowned obstinately. "So what? I threw it on purpose this time, an' it worked, too! Or are you tellin' me you'd rather let that thing knock you out again? Don't know if you followed, Blondie, but that overgrown bug nearly killed you twice in a row!"

Rikku dropped her head into her palms and groaned. They were running out of options, and strategy was definitely not her strong point. Not even her sphere grid would help her out of this one.

"I think that we should come up with a solution to this problem rather quickly," Braska said nervously as the Espada's pained shrieks melted into more murderous chittering. "I'm open to suggestions."

"Well, you could let me throw Auron's sword at it too," Jecht replied dryly as he cast a scan on the creature. "It's still injured. If we hit it now with everything we got, I think we have a chance," he concluded.

_Hit it with everything we got,_ Rikku thought, frowning. Auron really was their only option in this case, so... "Somebody cast a haste spell on Auron!" Rikku yelled as she leapt onto her target. Auron grunted with surprise and then embarrassment, trying to forcibly shove her away as her questing fingers reached inside of his thick red jacket.

"Rikkma!" he bellowed. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I know you think we're all gonna die, Blondie, but this ain't really the time or the place to be fillin' those last requests," Jecht added with a hint of ill humour.

Ignoring them both, Rikku shoved off Auron's protests and continued her search under the waistband of Auron's trousers. "Where is it... ah-HA!" she yelled triumphantly, her fingers closing in on the small sack of Gil they'd managed to collect during their earlier hunt. She ripped open the pouch and grabbed as many of the coins as she could stuff into her palms. "Is he hasted?" she asked, looking up to see her three companions staring at her with varying degrees of disbelief. _Oh, well,_ she thought. It wasn't often that anyone dove into Auron's pants during the heat of a life-and-death battle and lived to tell the tale afterwards. She'd just have to make sure she was the first. _"Is he hasted?"_ she repeated through clenched teeth. From the bag, she dropped the coins into rough clumps between her fingers. Behind her, she could hear the Espada scrabbling up the snow bank towards them.

Braska was the first to recover. "Ah... yes, yes he is," he answered. "What is your plan?"

"Just hit him with everything you got when he's distracted," Rikku yelled, palming the coins and sweating faintly. It'd been a while since she'd actually thrown money away like this. She never liked doing it; it seemed like a waste of hard-earned cash to her. Doubly so because Braska's funds were so extremely limited. But... dead Summoner's Entourages didn't need to eat, either. With a mental sob, she lifted her hands and took a deep breath. "Okay, rush him _now!_" she yelled, flicking her fingers out expertly and letting the coins fly.

The thrown money whizzed towards the Espada with a low whistle; the small size of the golden coins, coupled with their disproportionate weight allowed Rikku to launch them much faster than any normal dagger. Even a coin, when tossed _just so,_ could be a formidable weapon. And when there was more than just one coin, it could actually be a deadly one. Rikku didn't hesitate after releasing the first volley of coins; she reached back into the pouch almost immediately and sent another spray flying towards the Espada. It was a beautiful attack, in a way; the many coins shooting through the air looked almost like a gossamer tapestry being woven in the sunlight; each coin was transformed into a thin, golden thread as it arced towards its goal.

Unfortunately, Gil-throwing was a notoriously inaccurate skill, and more than a few of the coins never even hit their intended target. Even so, the many small projectiles did have the desired effect – they confused the already injured Espada, and created enough cover for Auron to rush forward with his sword in hand.

The sound of ripping flesh filled the air as Auron raced forward, holding his sword upright as he ran directly beneath the insect. The tip of his heavy sword caught on the Espada's exposed underbelly and sunk in almost halfway, tearing its victim open like a fish being gutted. The inhuman, piercing scream of the insect echoed across the snowy canyon, and then suddenly, pyreflies were erupting everywhere. Rikku sank to her knees, exhausted as the rain of light and colour drifted around them. Even the Espada's spilled blood and severed limbs decomposed and drifted away, leaving only bruises and the mournful remains of the pyreflies' song as reminders of their struggle.

When she was certain that the last pyrefly was gone, only then did Rikku allow herself to fall completely back into the snow, panting and wheezing with exhaustion. Dimly, she noted that Braska and Jecht had followed suit, each breathing heavily as they collected themselves and slowly came away from the adrenaline-induced post-battle high. "Holy chocobos," she managed to gasp out. "I really thought we were gonna buy it for a moment there!"

"We won't be _buying_ anything in the near future, it seems," Auron noted as he trudged wearily up the snow bank towards them. His eyes were fixed, however, on the ripped, discarded Gil pouch that was lying next to Rikku. Only a few measly coins remained inside the bag, even less than they had started out with before their impromptu hunting and gathering session. Rikku winced to herself.

"Sorry," she mumbled quietly, waiting for Auron's inevitable explosion. When none was forthcoming, she cracked an eye open and glanced up at him cautiously.

He was still staring at the pouch with an unreadable expression. Finally, he leaned over and scooped it off of the ground, making a quick note of the coins remaining in the bag. Noticing Rikku's tentative scrutiny, he gave her a miniscule shrug. "Well. It wasn't as though this particular pouch was used to carrying that much money anyway," he deadpanned.

Braska looked up with an expression of mock surprise. "Why Auron. Do you mean to say you think I'm poor?"

Auron snorted quietly and seated himself on the ground next to Rikku, who was still listening to the entire exchange with something akin to disbelief. "I mean to say you're very _frugal,_ Lord Braska," he replied with a smirk.

"Now why can Auron get away with callin' you cheap, but I can't?" Jecht interjected loudly.

"Because Auron's ability with the sword affords him a measure of tolerance that I'm afraid you haven't managed to demonstrate yet," Braska replied amicably. "And just where is your sword right now, Jecht?"

"Somewhere over there," the blitzball player replied, waving lazily across the field. "I'm too tuckered out to get it right now," he added with a slump. Then he brightened a little. "But hey! Whaddaya know, my ass ain't turnin' blue from the cold anymore!"

Rikku let out a groan and covered her face. "Now there was a mental image we all just needed to hear, Jecht," she giggled.

Auron cleared his throat, and Rikku uncovered her face long enough to glance up at him. He still wasn't looking at her, she noticed, but his words fell around her like a gentle caress. Well, a gentle caress for Auron. Which was more like a particularly brutal slap on the back for anyone else. But Rikku wasn't complaining – after all, a slap on the back was better than nothing, coming from the legendary Guardian of Grumpiness himself.

"It was an unexpected and difficult battle," Auron began stiffly, "but we prevailed in the end. That would not have been possible without your help, Rikkma." He paused, letting the words sink in. Grunting uncomfortably, he added, "You did well today."

Rikku couldn't help the smile that was stretching across her face, and even Jecht's half-heard quip about how she was going to melt the snow if she kept it up didn't cause it to dim in the slightest.

_Auron said I did good. Auron thanked me! Well, sorta. _

In her head, Rikku was doing back flips and handsprings through the snow, cheering wildly. Her body was not feeling quite as cooperative, though. After a few moments of hopeful twitching, she did manage to prop herself up to her elbows to direct her thousand-watt smile towards its instigator. "Glad to help," she said through her grin, noting with amusement that Auron steadfastly refused to look at her or return the smile.

Finally, unable to take her stare (as well as the keen observation of both Braska and Jecht, who were watching them curiously), Auron rose to his feet and dusted the snow off of his jacket. "Fiends attract fiends. We need to move out before any more unpleasant surprises occur," he informed them.

A silent but collective groan rose from the others, and Rikku pouted to herself briefly before clambering to her feet and sticking her tongue out at Auron's back. Jecht snickered, and Auron stiffened.

"And stop making those faces behind my back, Rikkma," he added sternly.

Rikku froze, her tongue still extended as her eyes uncrossed. _How does he do that?_ she thought, scowling. On a whim, she reached down and gathered the snow at her feet into a compact ball, tossing it at the back of Auron's head. It hit head-on with a wet plop, and silence settled among the group. Nobody _threw snowballs_ at Auron. It was painfully obvious that he was not the snowball-fight type. In fact, it was something of a wonder (or a clue as to how tired he actually was) that Auron didn't turn around and cleave the offending snowball in half with his sword for even daring to fly through the air at him. He froze before turning around very slowly with a glint in his eye, brushing snow away from his wide collar.

"And what was that for?" he asked menacingly.

Rikku crossed her arms and shrugged, unphased by Auron's display of bad humour. After staring down an Espada, death glares from exhausted Guardians just didn't seem quite as intimidating as they used to be. "I think you need to chill out sometimes," she replied cheekily, giving Auron a brazen wink. "I heard snow helps with that."

Auron glared at her for a beat, before sighing and dropping his shoulders. "Just be thankful that I'm in no mood to respond to that attack appropriately right now," he grumbled.

Braska's soft chuckle broke their staring competition, and he placed a hand on Rikku's shoulder. "I think you've finally broken him, Rikkma. Auron just admitted to willing participation in a snowball fight."

"Humph," Auron grunted in reply as he turned away. "Who said anything about snow?"

Braska's smile widened, and Rikku covered her mouth to keep her giggle from escaping. Even Jecht was grinning as he sidled up to Auron and gave him a poke in the ribs, whispering something into the other man's ear. Whatever it was he said earned him a disgusted sigh as Auron all but shoved the blitzball player down the snow bank.

"Why don't you put that mind of yours to work on something useful and find your sword," he yelled after Jecht. But there wasn't the usual note of censure in his voice, and Rikku felt her smile widen as she trailed after the three men down the canyon path and towards the temple in the distance.

"Click," she said softly to herself, trying to hide her smile. She could feel it happening; she was sure they all could. It was a feeling that kept the small smile on Braska's face, the lewd jokes spewing from Jecht, and stayed the tense set of Auron's shoulders for once. It filled them with enough energy to continue the last leg of their journey to Macalania Temple in good spirits. And, when they finally did pull up to the temple – stone-faced Guado guards and all – it was enough to keep Rikku's spirits lifted despite the chilly reception she received at the door.

Because they were finally becoming a _group_, not just a collection of motley warriors thrown together by circumstance to protect Braska on his journey. They were becoming real friends.


	16. Bartering

**- 16: Bartering -**

"Jecht! Stop staring!" Rikku hissed under her breath, elbowing the man standing next to her. With a cough and a wheeze, Jecht managed to tear his eyes away from the frosty Guado guards standing at attention near the temple doors. Auron grunted his disapproval at their behaviour, and Rikku stilled, drawing the hood of her threadbare cloak closer. For once, Jecht seemed inclined to do the same and kept his usual antics to a minimum. That, Rikku realized, probably had less to do with the cold Guado or even Auron's stern eye. It was more the temple itself which inspired a feeling of gravity in its visitors. Not that there were many to impress – apart from the few human monks who faithfully maintained the temple, the only living things Rikku had seen was their own entourage and the silent temple guards. The atmosphere was eerily silent but for the ever-present Hymn and the soft ringing of the ice surrounding them – and even that seemed to be respectfully muted by the heavy velvet banners of Yevon which decorated the crystalline walls.

"You would do well not to antagonize them," Auron murmured to Jecht once they were out of the guards' hearing range. "The Guado have only recently been initiated into Yevon's folds. There are still many unfaithful among them, and what's more, they're extremely secretive. They prefer to keep the details of their culture and settlements to themselves, and they look upon outsiders with suspicion."

"In other words, even if they're guardin' the place, the Church doesn't trust 'em yet, right?" Jecht crossed his arms expectantly.

"And neither should we," Auron replied. "Don't go looking for trouble, because this is the one place you're most likely to find it."

Rikku made a face at Auron's choice of words, but bit her tongue and kept her opinions to herself. He was right, after all - the Guado of this time were still a proud, hostile people whose greatest amount of contact with the rest of Spira was usually relegated to their blitzball team. That they were allowed to guard the temple at all was a rather surprising concession on the part of the Yevonites, and a testament to Lord Jyscal's powerful influence over his own people. Seymour's father was not yet a Maester, Rikku knew, but he had already married into humanity and adopted Yevon's teachings as his own. Judging from the guards' attitudes alone, she could only wonder at the reaction _that_ must have caused among their tightly-knit community.

"You shouldn't say such things, Auron," Braska interrupted, giving Auron a vaguely reproving look. "The Guado are doing their best to understand us, and it's only fair that we observe the same courtesy for them."

"Yes, Lord Braska, forgive me," Auron replied gruffly. He looked uncomfortable and about as convinced of the Guado's good intentions as Rikku felt. She herself wondered how Braska could turn a blind eye to the other race's obvious hostility.

"They don't look like they're tryin' too hard to me," Jecht observed. "Did you see the look that blue-haired feller gave us when we came in here? I thought he was gonna stick us with his damn pike just for showin' up!"

"They _all_ have blue hair, Jecht," Rikku replied pointedly.

Jecht snorted, though not as loudly as usual. "An' they all gave us that look, too," he noted. "Especially you, Blondie. If it weren't for Sin, I'm guessin' your people would be winnin' the competition for Spira's Most Unpopular." Jecht's scowl softened as his tone became somewhat less belligerent. "Don't it bug you sometimes?"

_Not just sometimes,_ Rikku thought to herself, the grip her cloak collar tightening unconsciously. She opened her mouth to make a glib reply, but stopped short as she caught sight of Auron. He was looking at her strangely... was he _watching_ her? _What for?_ she wondered. It wasn't like Jecht had made a particularly ground-breaking observation there. Rikku shivered once more and shrugged her shoulders. "You get used to it," she said simply.

"You shouldn't have to," Braska murmured, which effectively killed whatever chance Rikku might have had to insert a light-hearted tone into the otherwise morose conversation. An uncomfortable silence followed, one that was made heavier by the unnaturally muted tones in the temple. Rikku suppressed a flinch as her eyes darted to the centre of the room - the place where they had gone head to head with both Seymour and the warped remainder of his mother. _I'll never, ever feel really comfortable here. This will always be the place where we murdered Seymour – where everything started going even more wrong than it was before._ It didn't matter that Seymour had been trying to kill them, that Yevon's religion was as warped and twisted as Anima, or even that the act itself wouldn't occur for another decade. To Rikku, it seemed like the very stones of the floor oozed guilt and nightmarish memories."I'm being paranoid," Rikku mumbled to herself, trying to hide more deeply within the folds of her cloak.

"Whatever," Jecht finally said, breaking the oppressive silence. "I still think these Guado guys make the prisons back in Bevelle look like a vacation resort!" He took another look around the nearly-empty temple and frowned. "Why are we the only ones here, anyway? Those guards scarin' all the other visitors away?"

"Well..." Braska said uneasily. "In a manner of speaking, yes. The remote location of this particular temple, coupled with the oddity of the new Guado initiates has made Macalania one of the least popular stops of any Pilgrimage. The Summoners that do venture here generally prefer not to linger." The regret and slight undercurrent of anger in Braska's tone caused Rikku more surprise that she had expected; it wasn't really _that_ odd to discover that her empathic uncle felt strongly about more than just the Al Bhed cause. That he would defend the Guado when they were so obviously xenophobic made Rikku feel more than a little annoyed, however, and, on a much deeper level than she would've liked to admit, slightly guilty. _Why does he have to be so _good_ all the time?_ Rikku thought to herself with frustration. She glanced at Braska again in time to see Auron reaching out to rest his hand on the summoner's shoulder.

"You can't change the way people think, Braska. Especially not when they..." he inclined his head back towards the guards, "do not want or even welcome your assistance."

Braska's jaw twitched, and then his shoulders dropped as he let out an audible breath. "I know," he replied, sounding more tired than ever.

"Then let us fulfil our own duty and leave the philosophical questions for others to answer," Auron replied, subtly pushing Braska towards the door to the inner sanctum. "Maybe one day the tension with the Guado will disappear. But today is not that day. Your only task now is to gain the power of the Fayth here. Let the Guado take care of Guado problems."

Braska straightened, his face settling into his typical passive mask. "You're right, of course. Come, let us make our way to the Cloister of Trials." He lead them up the steps towards the heavy double doors, and with a perfunctory nod to the priest there, entered the chamber. Almost immediately the temperature within the room dropped, and Rikku watched a plume of white rise in front of her as her breath crystallized in the frigid air.

"Whoa," Jecht mumbled, staring at the snow-covered platform they had stepped onto. "This ain't anything like that other place! So what're we supposed to do here?" It was a very relevant question, Rikku had to admit; apart from a few unusually large snow drifts scattered around the platform, the Cloister presented almost no clues as to where to begin.

"Well... I suppose we could start with that," Braska finally said, pointing his staff at the one glowing sphere set into the niche of a tall column directly before them. Once again, Auron strode forward before anyone else could and whirled around to face the group.

"Allow me to handle the spheres, my lord. We still don't know what the nature of the trial that awaits us will be." He turned his attention to Rikku and lifted an eyebrow. "Will you be so kind as to assist me, Rikkma?"

Rikku peered at Auron from under the shadows of her hood. "Hey, why me? Why not ask Jecht?" she asked stubbornly.

"Ask Jecht for help?" Auron repeated, his gaze shifting to the blitzball player. Jecht looked up from the ground, where he happened to be squatting as he carefully placed his broad sword against the snow.

"You talkin' to me or about me?" Jecht asked, straightening up and testing the sword carefully with a pink-booted foot. Seeing the others' incredulous looks, he scratched the back of his head and shrugged. "What?"

"What the heck are you doing?" Rikku finally yelled for everyone else, exasperated.

"Oh, this?" Jecht looked back down at his sword. "Snowboardin'! What else?" The smile dropped when Auron's glare intensified. "What? It's not like Big Red over there is gonna as ME for help with this place! Might as well have a little fun, right?"

"... right," Auron finished for him, turning a smug eye back towards Rikku.

"Auron, please. It's no trouble. I think it might even be quite enjoyable to try and unlock this puzzle," Braska interjected, smiling helpfully.

"It's too dangerous," Auron said stubbornly, and Rikku resisted the urge to smack her forehead. It wasn't that she didn't want to help Auron... well, actually Rikku hated this temple and really _didn't_ want to help him figure it out. She would be content just snatching away the destruction sphere and its corresponding treasure before Braska could catch a glimpse of it and raise more uncomfortable questions. Besides... when it came to the Cloister of Trials, Rikku was practically a walking cheat sheet. She huffed noisily; even if Braska really was destined to obtain every last aeon, that didn't mean she was going to make it any easier for him.

"Oh, come off it, Auron!" Rikku said, exasperated. "It's not like Braska's gonna break if he does a little work. Besides, isn't this supposed to test a Summoning party's worthiness to receive the aeon? Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I always figured the Summoner was the most important part of that party."

Auron's scowl deepened as a grateful smile appeared on Braska's face. "Thank you for your support, Rikkma," Braska said. "Now if only Auron could have your faith in me as well..."

_Ouch, _Rikku thought as she smirked at Auron. Sometimes Braska really knew how to hit below the belt.

Auron grimaced and then sighed. "Fine. You may accompany us, Lord Braska, but stand back and don't touch the spheres until we've determined they're safe." He turned towards the pillar and stopped again with a distinct look of impatience at Rikku's obvious hesitation.

"Umm, actually, why don't you two try it by yourselves? I've got something I need to do over here," she said quickly.

"Yeah! Get Auron to lend you his blade!" Jecht hollered as he sailed by, balancing expertly on his sword as he twisted to a stop next to her.

"Jecht," Rikku sang as she felt Auron glowering at them both. "You're not helping! Go... snowboard over there or something." She groaned, pushing him away. Getting moral support from Jecht was too often akin to painting a bull's-eye on your back. "And no, I don't want to slack off just to screw around," Rikku added pointedly, fishing out her supply pouch and dangling it in front of herself. "I want to sort out and catalogue what supplies we managed to collect during our break. I need a little _alone space_ to do it, and I think you guys are gonna be busy, right?" She smiled hopefully and tried her best to ignore Auron's obvious disapproval. Thankfully, Braska came to her rescue once more.

"Auron, let Rikkma stay behind this time. She must be weary from our travels, and I for one am looking forward to this challenge." His tone was soft, but the gentle command was clear. "I'm sure we can manage this one by ourselves."

"Hnn," Auron said suspiciously. "Very well. Stay alert and keep an eye on Jecht. If the need for battle arises, I expect both of you to be prepared," he warned. He paused, and Rikku wondered why he hadn't dragged Braska off towards the pillar. Then she squeaked with surprise as he reached into his coat and flung a small pouch at her. She caught it reflexively and blinked at the familiar jingle of coin in her hands.

"You're trusting me with the money?" Rikku blurted out before she could stop herself.

Auron's lips twitched with a hint of humour. "You might as well count it while you're tallying our inventory," he told her gruffly. "Besides, I haven't seen very many places for you to waste it here." The smile dropped off and a more familiar expression of annoyance returned as Auron regarded the pillar with the sphere. "Let's get to it," he told Braska, who nodded amicably and moved towards the column.

"Auron," Rikku called out reflexively before he walked away. She beckoned him closer, ignoring his look of confusion. "I'm real sorry I can't help out this time," she said quickly, and then lowered her voice when Braska glanced their way. "... but if you find another one of those... y'know... _pink_ spheres, maybe you could give it to me before Braska sees it," she muttered.

Auron's eyes widened in understanding. "You... you believe we will find another one here," he murmured lowly, and Rikku tried to tell herself it was the cold that made her shiver then.

"I'm just saying _in case_ you find one," Rikku replied a little too quickly, feeling her guilt once more. Auron stared at her, and Rikku shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

"No. You _know_ we'll find one," he finally stated. "You want me to protect Braska. I want to know how you know of these spheres and what they are doing _here,_ in the _Temple._"

Rikku swallowed. "Braska's starting to wonder what the hold-up is," she told him, meeting his flinty gaze. "Keep this up and you'll be hand-feeding Jecht even more material to throw at us. Or am I really that fascinating?" she added slyly, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Fascinating isn't the first adjective I'd choose," Auron replied, but he did back away. "One of these days you won't be able to slip by my questions, Rikku," he added. "I'll do as you ask for now. For Braska's sake. But I warn you. I'm not a very patient man."

"Grumpy," Rikku groused as he stomped away, wondering what half-muttered explanation he gave to Braska, who was now watching them with interest. Well, there was nothing she could do about Auron's suspicions at the moment, and besides - what she told Auron hadn't actually been a complete lie. After stomping on the snow to pack it firmly, Rikku settled onto the ground and dumped the contents of her pouch out before her. Despite all the back-breaking teamwork she and Auron had done on the snowfields, their supply of items was still dangerously thin. There were a few gems in the motley assortment of goods they'd managed to win or steal from fiends since the start of their journey - the crowning one being the small bottle of swirling, black wind she'd managed to collect from the Espada. Rikku put that away quickly, unwilling to let the Farplane Wind throw her into another strange trance. It was much too precious to waste on what she had in mind, anyway. Quickly, she sorted through the remaining goods and frowned at the results.

"A few potions... fine... a couple of hi-potions... those will come in handy," she noted, tucking them carefully away. "Hmm... hey, we actually have a few ethers!" Rikku observed with delight. She counted them and then frowned, placing the vials aside. Stabbing her finger into the snow, she carefully drew a circle around them. "Let's see what else we got," she continued, grabbing a few more items. "Fish scales... fish scales... and more fish scales. Geez, these things are worthless!" Rikku sighed, exasperated. She threw the small handful into the circle, and then sifted through the remaining glass vials. "Hey... maybe this isn't so bad... musk, a couple of hypello potions... is that an arctic wind?" Her eyes lit with glee as one small marble rolled away from the rest of the items, crackling with energy. "A lightning marble! Somebody up there loves me!" she crowed, picking up the tiny sphere and kissing it, wincing a little as it shocked her on the lips. Once the rest of the items were either safely packed away in her bags or sorted into what Rikku was starting to call her "magic circle," she reached into her travel pack and carefully laid out the real reasons she had asked to stay behind.

The metal glinted softly against the white snow, practically screaming with potential at her. Rikku sighed and fingered the silver necklace, the one she had whittled into the shape of Jecht's tattoo. "It almost seems like a waste to do this, with supplies this crappy," she groaned. _Then again,_ Rikku thought as she picked up the vial of swirling arctic wind, _I think we need every little bit of help we can get._ Pulling a few tools out of her belt, she squinted in concentration and began to work on the necklace, falling easily into the single-minded trance required of any skilled Al Bhed synthesist.

In what seemed like moments later, a shadow fell over her, and Rikku hissed in irritation. "You're blocking my light," she grumbled. When the shadow refused to move, Rikku grunted and pushed her bangs away from her eyes, staring up in exasperation at the source of her distraction. She did a double-take as she noticed Auron's quizzical expression. "What the... hey, I thought you and Braska were gonna solve the trials! Why're you back already? What gives?"

"I told you, she's been like that for a while now." Rikku whipped her head around, finally noticing Jecht, who was sitting cross-legged behind her rather than sledding across the snow on his sword. From his bored expression and the way his chin was planted into his palm, it seemed like he had been there for a while. "At first I thought she was havin' one of them seizures, but I don't think she could be weldin' like that if she wasn't all here."

"Welding?" Auron replied, lifting an eyebrow.

Rikku blinked. "Huh? Oh, this is just a little something I carry around with me," she explained, waving the small tool in her hand. "I picked it up in Bevelle! It's not really up to Al Bhed standards, but it'll do in a pinch," she noted.

"Do what?" Auron asked.

"Solder, dummy. It _is_ a soldering iron," she replied with a smirk. It was getting a bit easier to orient herself; from the crick in her neck and the uncomfortable dampness under her butt from melted snow, Rikku easily figured that she had lost track of more time than she thought during the course of her work. She stretched carefully, taking in her surroundings and noting with some approval that Auron and Braska had managed to make some progress - if the shifting locations of the various ice pillars and snow drifts were any indication of success. "Hey, where's Braska?" she finally asked.

"Braska is on the lower level of this puzzle chamber, piecing together our next step." As he spoke, Auron discreetly pulled a shining pink sphere out from the depths of his coat and displayed it to Rikku, who mouthed a small "Oh!" of understanding. "But what are you doing?" he asked, looking at the no-longer-quite-silver jewellery that was scattered around her.

"Well, you didn't think I bought all this decoration for nothing, did you?" Rikku replied, picking up another vial and carefully putting the finishing touches on the circlet with her soldering iron. "There. Braska and Jecht's stuff is done. I even made a bracelet for myself!" Rikku noted proudly, showing off the blue bangle dangling on her arm. "Of course, I didn't make _you_ anything, Auron, since you didn't _want_ anything." Seeing their confused looks, Rikku grinned at her two companions and waved the small tool at them. "Didn't I tell you guys? I'm a synthesist."

"I'm not familiar with the term," Auron said, crouching in the snow beside her and plucking the circlet out of her hands. Rikku concealed a small grin of pride at his look of surprise; Cid had always said she was one of the Al Bhed's best synthesists. Being able to create a good, stable armour took more than just the know-how; like all Al Bhed inventions, it also took a bit of luck and a fair amount of creativity - things which had always come rather naturally to Rikku.

"Synthesis. It's what we Al Bhed do to create our _superior_ weapons and armour," she said triumphantly, grinning the flash of annoyance that stole across Auron's face. "Oh, don't be such a grouch, Auron. I'd be happy to synthesize something for you, too, if you'd just leave me your bracer."

"Hey hey hey! Stop flirtin' with Auron and tell me what you made me!" Jecht said, pushing between them eagerly. "I know I heard my name in there somewhere!"

Rikku snickered and selected the necklace, which she handed to Jecht. "I call this the Serene," she told him. "Because you're always complaining about the cold," she added, flicking the pendant and causing it to spin wildly. As it did, a few bright blew sparks jumped out of the metal and swirled around it before fading away. "It'll help prevent certain kinds of anger-inducing infections that fiends can give you. Also, it has a little surprise frost-guard in it, too," she added. "Just wear it and it'll protect you automatically."

"This looks just like my tattoo!" Jecht said, catching the pendant and letting out a low whistle. "How'd you do it?"

"I looked," Rikku replied dryly, digging a finger into Jecht's chest. She drew it back quickly and winced at the lewd smile that spread across Jecht's face.

"I knew you were ooglin' my chest that time!" he crowed. "Sorry, Auron, didn't mean to be movin' in on your girl like that, but I guess I'm just too sexy for my own good." He smirked as he donned the necklace.

Auron glared and Rikku winced as she planted a hand directly into Jecht's face and pushed him away. "Dream on, horndog," she grumbled. "That tattoo of yours is more like an _eyesore_ that can't be avoided. But hey, maybe now that pendant will distract a few people before they make the mistake of looking at you and going blind!"

Jecht simply smiled and stretched out against the snow, a lazy grin on his face. "Yeah, yeah. You know you want me," he grunted.

Auron sighed wearily, then renewed his observation of the circlet in his hand. "And this is for Braska...?" he asked. Seeing Rikku's nod, he turned the circlet slowly in his hands. "What does it do?"

"Well," she began, suddenly nervous. Auron's stern, probing expression as he studied the circlet hearkened back to the older, intimidating man from Yuna's Pilgrimage whom she was more familiar with. She received the fleeting impression of being graded on her efforts, and cleared her throat uneasily. "It's just a little something I threw together to make casting easier for Braska. I hope you don't mind, but I used up all of our ethers on it." Auron's face remained just as unreadable as before, and Rikku continued with more than a little trepidation. "Uh, and, I also used a few sleeping powders, too. That way it should help protect him from narcoleptic fiend attacks..." She worried her lower lip nervously and waited for Auron to pronounce judgement on her efforts.

"... and you need my bracer, you said?" he finally asked, looking up at her.

Rikku felt her eyes grow round. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? That not only was he trusting her with the money, but also with their defence? She scrambled for an appropriate reaction. Gratitude? But that would imply she was a suck-up, and to a former Yevonite, of all people. Then again, it was Auron, the not-yet-legendary Guardian, giving her his vote of confidence. What _was_ the appropriate reaction to have? Unfortunately, while Rikku's mind was stalling, once again her mouth decided to open and answer the question for her independently. "Actually, what I really need is your sword and Braska's staff, too." Internally, she winced. _Oh, that wasn't quite what I meant to say... _

"You want our weapons," Auron said slowly. "You want to disarm us and experiment on our weapons." He set the circlet down carefully.

"Well, when you put it like that..." Rikku said cautiously. "... basically..." She grimaced. "... yeah?" She began immediate mental preparations for another stare-down with Auron.

"Well, she got balls," Jecht muttered behind them.

A chilly silence rose, and then Auron reached towards his chest slowly unfastened the buckles there. The heavy sheath on his back sunk to the ground with a clatter; it was followed shortly by the bracer on his arm. "Braska can decide for himself whether or not to lend you his staff when he returns," Auron said. "I trust you won't damage my sword. If you do, I assure you that I can find _other _ways of inflicting damage."

"Whipped," Jecht added as Auron stood up and turned to walk away.

"Shut up," Rikku said reflexively, her eyes still glued to the equipment Auron had dropped. "You know," she said faintly, her eyes drifting up towards Auron's back. "It's gonna take a while for me to get used to this."

"Get used to what?" Jecht asked, climbing to his feet and strolling over towards Rikku. "Havin' the stiff at your beck and call?" He snickered and Rikku grimaced, zapping Jecht on the shin with her soldering iron. "OWW! Damn it, Blondie! What the hell was that for?"

"Why don't you go help out Braska?" Rikku answered with a sardonic grin. She brandished the iron in a clear threat when Jecht opened his mouth to protest. "I don't care how you feel; get motivated or else!"

"A woman with balls ain't always a good thing," Jecht said sullenly as he trudged past a smirking Auron. "At least she ain't _my_ problem."

Rikku thumbed her nose at his back. "Jecht's an okay guy when he can keep his mouth shut. Which is like _never!_" Rolling her eyes, she put the iron down and turned her attention to Auron. After a moment of hesitation, he approached her and sunk to his knees. "What I meant was... well, that it's gonna take a while to get used to _this,_" Rikku said to him quietly. She wondered what he was thinking; Auron had a killer poker face. "You know. Being one of you. Being... trusted."

Auron said nothing for a long moment, and Rikku found herself studying the curves and lines of his youthful face and comparing it to her memories. "When you look at me that way," he said suddenly, and Rikku snapped her eyes back to his own. "Who are you seeing? Who do I remind you of?" Rikku shook her head at him. "But _he_ is the reason you're here with us. This man who was taken by Sin."

Rikku could only nod mutely.

Auron sighed and looked away from her. "His memory binds you to the past. _That_ is why you feel you don't belong with us."  
_  
To the future,_ Rikku corrected. But she watched in fascination as Auron continued to speak with her. This time, it was he reaching out to her, and she wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize the moment - even if it was fulfilling the very guilty desire he was currently trying to advise her against.

"You shouldn't let obsession with the dead rule your life. You are young, and you have so much potential. If you would live for yourself instead of your memories, you could be much more than a simple thief and exile." He gestured at his fallen sword and armour. "Rikku. All jests aside, I have told you that I trust you. And you've proven that trust to be well-founded. Why, then, are you so surprised? Just believe in yourself, the way we do."

"Say, what'd you do with the Auron I know?" Rikku said finally, a small smile crossing her face. "What's with the pep talk? I think Braska's rubbing off on you." Her smile clouded as Auron's gaze grew fierce. He caught her wrist and held it tightly.

"And again, you try to deflect the conversation with your jokes." He sighed in frustration. "I want you to understand what I'm trying to tell you, Rikku. I want you to be able to move on."

Rikku held his gaze. "Why?" she asked, her breath hitching. "Is it because _you_ want me to move on?" Her heart beat faster in her chest; she was sure he could feel her fluttering pulse under his fingers. She couldn't squish the hopeful thought before it took root and made itself known: _Do_ you _want me?_

Auron didn't answer her for a long moment, his dark eyes storming as they bored into her. "I'm tired of you looking at me as though I were him," he finally replied. "I'm not. You can't re-create the past out of memories and your own desires. You asked if we were friends, before. I want to be, Rikku, but it's not easy when there is a ghost standing between us."

"It's not that simple," Rikku replied, and reflexively she reached up and traced the outline of his future scar across his face. She stopped when he flinched away from her touch and withdrew her hand. "I know that you can't get back what you lost, at least most of the time," she said bitterly. _Not unless your name is Yuna. _"But I can't just drop everything and start over again." _With you,_ she added to herself.

"Why not?" he asked. "A Pilgrimage is a fresh start for some. A last chance for others. It's a vehicle for change. Will you not even try?"

Who was this man, holding her wrist and making her heart race as he probed her with his questions? This wasn't the cool, distanced legend of memory; the stoic, self-sacrificing, hard-assed hero she had journeyed with before. This man was infinitely more dangerous; just as hard-assed as she remembered, but full of something she hadn't even realized the other Auron had been missing – a passion, a vitality that refused to remain hidden, either in his brief flares of temper or now, in his hungry, dark gaze. Suddenly scared, she refused to answer him.

_You want to go home,_ Rikku reminded herself sternly. _And every Fayth you meet is a chance to do just that._

"Well, then," Auron said finally, his voice losing its warmth. He withdrew the shining pink sphere from his cloak and handed it to Rikku. "Then can you at least explain this? How did you know it would be here?"

Rikku gripped the sphere tightly. Her relationship with Auron was one of bartering, she realized. He had just given her more than she had expected to ever receive. _Trust him,_ her mind whispered, _he's Auron. He won't break apart._ She nodded slowly. "These things... they're called destruction spheres," Rikku explained slowly. "They're created by the Temples, just like all the other spheres."

"How can a thing of such evil exist in a Temple of Yevon?" Auron asked bluntly.

Rikku sighed. _How to explain it all without sending Auron into a religious crisis?_ She bit her lip. "It's not a question of good or evil," she said finally. "In case you haven't noticed, the Church of Yevon isn't all smiles and sunshine. I... well, I don't really know for sure how everything works, but the Temples reflect the Church. And the Church has its dark side, too." She shivered as she thought of Anima and the festering hatred and hopelessness that had created it. But in the end, despite its evil, Yuna had mastered it, just as she had every other known Aeon.. "There's a little bit of darkness in the heart of every Temple, but it's how you use it that matters in the end. We couldn't have solved the Cloister of Trials in Bevelle without the destruction sphere. So even though it's evil, it helped us, right?"

"So we should expect to find these pockets of evil in every temple we visit?"

"Pockets of profit," Rikku said, climbing to her feet. "If you find the right place to plant the sphere, something good will happen for sure. Now let's see..." She set off, approaching the first empty sphere slot she could find on the small plateau, one that had been previously hidden in pillar that was frozen into a snowdrift. She wedged it into the slot and waited, but nothing happened. "That's not it," she mumbled, and moved on towards the next column in the centre of the room. "How many of these niches did you find, anyway? We might have to test them all..." Rikku trailed off as she slotted the sphere into the column and a blaze of pink spiralled down into the floor. "Jackpot!" she whistled.

"That light... it's moving directly towards Braska and Jecht," Auron noted, his eyes widening as they traced the path of the glow. He reached for the sword that he normally kept on his back and closed his hand around empty air, then cursed. Then, the sound of a loud crash echoed through the hall, followed by Jecht's loud yell.

"Oww! What the hell was that?"

"Jecht!" Braska's voice sounded strained. "Do you think you might be able to stand - _oomph_ - someplace other than _my back?_"

"Well, I guess Jecht is fine. I dunno about Braska though," Rikku observed. "I bet that explosion uncovered a treasure box, too!" she continued with excitement. "Whatever it is, I call dibs on a fourth of the booty!"

Auron let out a barely audible sigh of exasperation. "I'm surrounded by infants," he muttered to himself as stalked off towards the edge of the plateau. He paused as Rikku reached out and grabbed the loose sleeve of his overcoat. "What is it?"

"Umm..." Rikku felt herself blushing and released Auron's sleeve, automatically falling into a nervous sway. "Thanks. For lots of things," she said quickly. "Some of those things - well - it's not exactly... easy for me to do what you asked. It's not that simple." She sighed as Auron's expression hardened. "But I'll think about what you said, okay? I'll try."

Auron's lips twitched, and he inclined his head slightly. Rikku finally allowed her movements to come to a stop, watching Auron until he disappeared into the depths of the snowy chamber. She looked over her shoulder at his discarded sword and bracer, and let a slow smile creep across her face. "I guess I saved the best for last," she murmured. The smile slid off of her face as her hand crept to her belt, lingering over one of the spheres embedded there. "You know, when you ask me to fall out of love with you, it doesn't exactly work that way." Shaking her head, Rikku cracked her knuckles and settled back on the ground, grabbing Auron's bracer. "Well... now isn't the time for this." She paused and let out a slightly panicked giggle. "Definitely not the time."


	17. Cold Hard Truth

**- 17: Cold Hard Truth -**

Rikku sighed into her palm and watched the heavy stone door with half-lidded eyes. The silence was oppressive; she yawned loudly just to hear herself break it. Things were much the same as they had been in Bevelle's Chamber of the Fayth - Braska, secluded in the inner sanctum, was taking an unusually long time as the rest of his entourage waited outside - bored out of their minds, Rikku added to herself. The hush of the temple put a damper on light conversation. Auron, of course, was weathering the wait with his usual stoic resolve. He could have passed for one of the statues, standing in the corner with his arms crossed and a solemn expression on his face. Jecht, on the other hand, was sprawled unceremoniously over the steps.

Rikku, for her part, was waiting a good distance away from the entrance to the inner sanctum, unwilling to subject herself to what she was sure would be another seizure should she try to force the entrance to the summoning altar. The heavy feeling was still there when the door opened, causing her to tense with anticipation. But she'd kept herself still, and the stone door had lowered behind Braska without any further incident.

_It's just because I didn't want to end up convulsing at Auron's feet again while foaming at the mouth,_ Rikku told herself stubbornly, trying to will away her guilt. Her small, inner voice laughed at her rationalization. _You just don't want to leave them anymore,_ it whispered. I don't want to see them _die,_ she amended viciously. Her head was beginning to buzz faintly from the argument she was having with herself, and with a small grunt of frustration, Rikku pushed herself off of the wall angrily. Digging through her pouch, she seated herself in the centre of the floor and began to fiddle with the empty recording sphere she had pulled out.

"Rikkma," Auron began as he watched her. "Braska is undergoing the trials as we speak. You should not -"

"Oh, stuff it," Rikku answered irritably. "You know I don't believe in any of that hokey-pokey superstitious stuff. And how many times have you been recorded now yourself, Auron? It looks like your soul's still here to me," she added, switching the sphere on and training it towards him purposefully. To his credit, Auron flinched but didn't move out of the way. The sour expression he directed at her made it abundantly clear what he thought of both her recording and her behaviour, however. With a twinge of guilt, Rikku turned the sphere around and aimed it at herself instead.

"Fine, I'm more fun to look at than you anyway, aren't I?" Rikku added, winking at the glowing surface of the sphere suggestively. Spheres were strange, she thought to herself as she studied the bubbling blue surface. Though filled with water, they didn't actually reflect images, instead absorbing them for viewing later. In a way, it could be seen as a rather vampiric device - not that she was going to tell Auron that anytime soon, though. Fisting her palm against her chin, Rikku stared back into the depthless blue glow and quirked an eyebrow. "I wonder what I should do with you, huh? Keep a diary of our Pilgrimage?" Thinking about it for only a moment, Rikku shook her head quickly. "No way. Those kinds of things always come back to bite you in the ass later on!"

"Why don't you use it to film me instead?" Jecht pushed himself off of the steps and sauntered over to her; apparently he was feeling bored enough to bother her. "I'm a superstar! I'm used to all that attention!" He posed demonstratively, and Rikku giggled while rolling her eyes.

"Just for that I'm not going to record you at all," she added, keeping the sphere trained on her face as she stuck out a tongue.

"But I'm _bored!_" Jecht whined as he crossed his arms. "Braska's takin' forever an' I don't even have a blitzball to keep me company here!"

"Thank Yevon," Auron muttered under his breath.

Rikku frowned as she watched Jecht pace uneasily. He did seem rather unusually jumpy; on a good day, Jecht was hyperactive anyway. But she'd been noticing him getting increasingly twitchier, for lack of a better word, the longer they waited. He wasn't so restless when they were on the move, but here in the temple with nothing but silence and your own thoughts to occupy the time, it stood out all the more.

Carefully putting the sphere aside on the floor, Rikku reached over and poked Jecht's ankle. She drew back quickly when he spun around and glared at her. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked under her breath, glancing discreetly at Auron. Their companion had gone back to ignoring them the moment Jecht's whining began; Rikku figured he was meditating with his eyes open, or some other Warrior Monk brainwashing junk the Church had undoubtedly taught him. Whatever it was, it seemed to work wonderfully to block out any and everything that had to do with Jecht during his more annoying antics. There were actually moments when Rikku wished she, too, could separate herself from her surroundings as completely as Auron could. Now, however, she was wondering about the wisdom of that, as a twinge of concern struck her. She already suspected that she knew the source of the problem, but it would've been easier to deal with had Auron shown even the barest flicker of interest in Jecht's behaviour.

"Just restless," Jecht answered uncomfortably. He ran a hand over his face and then sent a look of envy towards Auron... or more accurately, Auron's jug. "Sure could use a drink right now, though," he added as an afterthought. "You think he'd loan me some of that stuff if I asked nice?"

"Loan?" Rikku sputtered. "What, like you'd give it back when you were done with it? How'd you plan on paying him back, by vomiting all over him or something?"

"Well it'd be more interestin' than sitting around here on my thumbs," Jecht growled at her. Then he sighed. "Sorry. Just... all this hurryin' up to do nothin'... it gets to me sometimes," he grumbled.

Rikku kept silent, her brow furrowing in concern. It wasn't the lack of activity that had Jecht tied up in knots, she realized. It was more the lack of alcohol. She remembered vague stories Tidus used to tell during the times he tried so hard to convince them - and himself - that he hated his father. There had to have been a grain of truth in them, for all of Tidus' theatrics, Rikku realized. Watching Jecht's nervous pacing, she remembered the story of the incident at the Moonflow and wondered just how much he usually drank. _Well, that's his own problem,_ Rikku thought to herself quickly. There was no stopping someone from controlling his own addictions, especially not if he didn't want to himself. Still, she felt a pang of sympathy for Jecht and decided to try and help him get his mind off of the problem.

"Hey, why don't you join me down here?" Rikku offered, pulling a few coins out of their depressingly empty coin pouch. "We can pass the time together. I'll teach you how to play Sphere Break!"

"Sphere Break? That some kinda game?"

"Uh-huh," Rikku said, laying out the coins in the appropriate pattern. She smirked internally; as complicated as it looked, she was proud to admit she was pretty good at the game. She had won that awfully embarrassing dressphere off of Shinra, reigning Sphere Break Championship Master himself, after all. "Sit down and I'll tell you all about it," she said with a twinkle in her eye. It took more than a few tries to explain the rather complex set of rules. It wasn't made easier by the added complication of the lack of "prizes" to offer for the entry coin slots, something Jecht complained about loudly enough to garner even Auron's attention.

"What's the point of playin' if you don't win anything?" Jecht asked obstinately, glaring at Rikku.

"Because it's supposed to be _fun,_" Rikku shot back with a glare of her own.

"Keep the noise down," Auron grunted with a long-suffering sigh, his eyes passing over the coins scattered across the ground with a look of distaste. "Sometimes I wonder why I even try."

"Then stop wondering and come play with us!" Rikku pouted.

"Or just stop tryin', you know we won't listen to you anyway," Jecht added amicably. Auron huffed and shrugged, resuming his purposeful ignorance of their progress as Rikku continued her argument with Jecht.

"C'mon, Jecht. I can't play Sphere Break by myself! You're bored, I'm bored, what else are we gonna do here anyway?" Rikku tried again.

"Look, Blondie," Jecht replied, gesturing at the coins in the makeshift grid Rikku had created, "If I understand the rules, part of the fun of this game is thinkin' up a way to get all those extra prizes if you play your coins right. So you can't _really_ play without a prize, see?"

Rikku sighed. He had a point, she was loath to admit. "But I don't have anything to give you!"

"Huh," Jecht said, a sly smile coming over his face. "I think you do. How 'bout this..." He pointed at one of the coins and leaned in towards her, lowering his voice. "This one's your lucky coin, you don't have to do anything if I get it. But..." And here, Jecht's hand hovered over the adjoining coin. "Ten of these lands me a smooch." He continued gleefully as Rikku's mouth dropped open in protest. "Ten of those other ones makes Braska the lucky guy. And..." Rikku dropped her head into her hand, already knowing what Jecht was going to say and feeling the flush of embarrassment creeping over her face. "Eighteen of these makes Big Red over there smile."

Rikku's head shot up. "Why does Auron get eighteen?!" she squawked, and then flushed even more brightly as Auron swung around to stare at them suspiciously.

Jecht laughed. "Because he likes playin' hard to get!" he supplied.

Auron raised a questioning eyebrow at her, and Rikku simply shook her head and pointed at Jecht in the hopes that it would suffice as an explanation. That seemed to work, as Auron simply grunted in exasperation and resumed his aloof meditation.

Temporarily relieved, Rikku put her hands on her cheeks and willed her blush to die down. It wasn't so much that she was embarrassed about the "prizes" Jecht had selected - more that it was how much she wouldn't actually mind if he won some of them. But still... _"Eighteen?"_ she hissed furiously, narrowing her eyes at Jecht, who gave her a knowing smirk. That caused her to blush again at her obvious slip; at this rate, she might as well have a sign tattooed to her forehead that read "RIKKU LOVES AURON." _Jecht and his stupid mind games!_ Weighing her options, Rikku finally gave in. After all, it was a toss-up between being a bit too morosely introspective for her own tastes while having Jecht go through the rigors of alcoholic withdrawal - inside of the Temple to boot - or having a chance to kiss Auron _and_ blame the whole thing on Jecht later on. Ignoring the flush on her cheeks, she glowered at Jecht even as she gave him a quick, guilty nod of agreement. "You'd better be damn good at math!" she warned, spreading the coins out before him. "Now solve this one in sixty seconds starting_right now!_"

Fifteen minutes later, Rikku had learned a couple of things about Jecht. The first was that he was terrible at math. The second was that despite this shortcoming, he was excellent at strategy on the fly - the mark of any good blitzball player, she figured. The last was that he had a perverse sense of humour. She was still two coins away from earning the responsibility - _you mean the chance,_ her inner voice cheered in her mind - to kiss Auron. Due to Jecht's incompetence she already owed Braska one kiss, and was four perilous steps away from having to actually kiss Jecht himself. The last, however, might have been attributed more to his own perverse sense of humour rather than his mediocre mastery of Sphere Break.

Auron, for his part, was still blissfully unaware of his prize status, which was probably a good thing. Sphere Break was hardly a quiet game, at least it wasn't when Jecht was playing against Rikku. They both had a tendency to be rather boisterous, and when things got too loud Auron's glare would materialize, sometimes accompanied by the conspicuous clearing of this throat. After one particularly loud argument over the results of the latest game, Auron finally pushed off from the wall and approached them with an air of barely-restrained impatience.

"You both should know better than to gamble in a Temple," he said as he glanced over the scattered coins. "Even if you don't believe in Yevon, the least you could do is show the proper respect here." He scowled at the forgotten sphere that was nestled on the ground, eying its soft blue glow suspiciously. "And turn that blasted thing off!"

"Oopsie!" Rikku squeaked, reaching for the sphere and deactivating it quickly. This earned her another snort of disapproval, and Rikku silently rolled her eyes at a smirking Jecht. "For your information, Auron," she said haughtily as she turned to face him, "we're not gambling. We're just using the coins to play the game, not trading them." Auron didn't look convinced, so she shrugged. "Hey, it could be worse. We could be playing poker instead."

Jecht snorted. "Naw, that wouldn't happen. If ya want a real game of poker, you'd have a stiff drink and some fine lookin' women at your table, and as you can see, we're sorely lackin' in both." He grinned cheekily at Rikku and gave her a wink.

Rikku narrowed her eyes. "You know, I'm feeling a sudden need to practice my gil toss," she growled as she gathered the coins into her hand. The quiet sound of rumbling caused her to cut off her indignant reply before any bodily harm could be inflicted, and all eyes turned towards the stairs as the stone door to the inner sanctum lifted. Rikku held her breath; after a few moments, Braska emerged from the darkness, his face damp with sweat. Belatedly, she realized that the fortitude potion she'd dosed him with had long since worn off, and he looked weaker than ever. As much as they helped in times of need, crashing from a mix high tended to be ugly - there was a reason the human body could only push itself so far, after all.

"I did it," he managed to say with a proud smile, stepping forward. And then he tripped, and everyone was scrambling to catch him. Rikku, being the fastest of the group, made it to him first; she was, in fact, quick enough to watch the door to the inner sanctum descending. It wasn't at all how she had expected things to be; there before her was a chance to enter the open door to the sanctum. She knew she could slip through if she dove _right now, _and nothing was stopping her. No flashes of pain, no dizzy spurts, no disorienting time misplacement. And then there was Braska, on the verge of losing consciousness, falling before her.

Afterwards, Rikku would find herself questioning her actions, why she didn't think clearly, why she didn't take the chance that was being presented to her like any other good thief would have. But in the heat of the moment, there didn't seem to be much of a _choice_ at all. She was Braska's _Guardian _- she was there to protect him, not herself. The air left her lungs in a gasp as Braska's body knocked into her open arms. For someone with a seemingly willowy build, he sure was heavy.

"Help!" Rikku managed to wheeze as she fell backwards over the steps with Braska in tow.

"Whoa there, I gotcha," Jecht said as he caught them both and righted her carefully. Auron was there to ease Braska out of her grasp, slinging the other man's arm over his shoulder.

"My lord!" he said with concern as Braska blinked and looked around. "You should rest -"

"No!" Braska said suddenly, pushing himself away from Auron and wavering unsteadily on his feet before managing to regain his balance. "No, I'm fine," he added in a more subdued tone. "I'm just... a little tired. Let's return to the main chamber... I wish to summon."

"Now, my lord?" Auron repeated with a note of concern. "Do you think that's wise in your condition?"

Braska shook Auron's arm off of his own and gripped his staff tightly. "I have only one condition, Auron, and that is my status as a Summoner. If I cannot perform my duty, then we should abandon this Pilgrimage here and now." He let out a shaky breath when he was done, and the room fell silent.

Rikku nibbled her lower lip thoughtfully. It was strange, she thought, to see Auron expressing so much concern for Braska's welfare, when it seemed that he was the one who was always driving the group to its limits. She was starting to understand where his older incarnation's attitude had come from, however. For all of his gentle mannerisms, there was something hard and flinty underneath Braska's kind smile; the same stubborn determination that pushed him to march out of the chamber on his own two feet, rather than relying on the help of his Guardians. He stopped to lean heavily on his staff, and Auron's mouth thinned in silent disapproval, though he made no move to assist the other man.

Jecht was also watching the display with mild interest. "Hey, Braska. You're tough, we get it. But even the best blitzers get winded sometimes. No shame in lettin' Auron over there help out, right?"

Braska stiffened, but didn't turn around; either from pride, or simply exhaustion. "It's not a matter of shame, Jecht." With that, he resumed his sedate pace towards the temple proper. Auron stiffened minutely before trailing after him, and Jecht let out a loud sigh. Then he glanced at Rikku speculatively.

"Oh no," Rikku said reflexively, shaking her head as she quickly gathered the remains of their scattered Sphere Break game into her pouch. "What makes you think I could do any better at convincing Braska that he needs help than Auron? They're like best friends already!"

"Auron doesn't have boobs," Jecht replied simply, and Rikku rolled her eyes.

"Jecht, not every man's world revolves around ogling women," she snapped irritably.

"Maybe so. But you don't got a choice, Rikkma," he drawled in response, folding his arms behind his head. "I won Braska a kiss, didn't I? So you have to do it. And I say you do it right now."

Rikku's mouth flapped open and closed for a few moments, but Jecht's relatively sombre expression remained fixed. "B-but... but... I'm not going to kiss Braska _right in front of Auron,_" she hissed angrily. "Are you trying to help me out here or shoot my non-relationship in the foot before it even starts?!"

Jecht sighed. "Listen, I can handle Auron. I'll tell him about our game. Either he'll understand, or he'll be too busy beatin' the crap outta me to notice you lockin' lips with Braska."

Rikku closed her eyes and rubbed the crease that was forming on her forehead. "Jecht! _That's not the point!_" She glared at him and spoke very slowly, just in case his ears were as stuffed as his head seemed to be. "I. Do not. Want to kiss _Braska._"

"Oh, 'cause you're related to him, riiight?" Jecht drawled.

Rikku flushed even more deeply. "It's not that! Well, it is, kinda, but not how you think!" She smacked her palm into her forehead and groaned. "Why am I even having this conversation with you, Jecht? I'm not going to kiss Braska right now!"

Jecht stalked after the others, for once trying to keep his voice moderated as they caught up to Braska and Auron. "I didn't say you have to kiss him full on the lips. All you gotta do is go up there and help him out."

"He doesn't want to be helped," Rikku replied. If a tired Braska was anything like a tired Yuna on a bad day, she didn't want to be caught in the crossfire. "If you like the idea so much, go on up there and kiss him yourself!"

Jecht's scowl deepened. "Fine. You wanna play it hard, we can play it hard. If you don't go up there and talk Braska outta his fool idea right now, then you _do_ have to kiss him. On the lips, with yer tongue, in front of your boyfriend, _right now._ Or I'll tell Braska _why_ you don't like the idea of gettin' up close an' personal around him."

For the second time Rikku felt herself gaping like a fish out of water. "That's- that's blackmail!" she yelped, and gave Jecht a deadly glare when he only grinned in reply.

"Stop him from summoning, or kiss him. Your choice."

"Some choice," Rikku growled under her breath as she darted past him. She paused as she brushed past Auron, giving him an apologetic wince.

"Rikkma?" Auron asked. "Lord Braska doesn't wish to be bothered right now, as I'm sure you heard." His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "By that look on your face I can tell that you're planning something. Whatever it is, _don't._"

"Umm... no can do," Rikku answered. Jecht coughed noisily behind her. "If anything... _weird..._ happens, it's all Jecht's fault. So don't get mad, okay?"

"Weird?" Auron repeated, but Rikku ignored him and continued until she was abreast of Braska. She swung in front of him and walked backwards, trying to catch his eye.

"Rikkma. As much as I appreciate your carefree spirit, this isn't the best time for your games," Braska said wearily. "Please step aside."

"I'm not playing a game," Rikku replied. She watched him trip over one of the icy steps on the path through the Cloister, and made up her mind. _Maybe Jecht was right... he's being more stubborn than an angry chocobo._ Quickly, she situated herself at Braska's side, mirroring the position Auron had attempted to take earlier and looping one of his arms over her shoulders. "I'm going to drag you straight to a bed whether you like it or not."

Braska stiffened beside her, but didn't pull away immediately. "As tempting as that offer sounds, Rikkma, I'm afraid I must refuse," he told her. "Besides... don't you wish to see the new aeon as well?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. _Been there, done that_ seemed like the wrong answer to give. Instead, she settled for an exaggerated sigh. "So it's all about showing off, huh? Well, mister hot-shot, I think you've been hanging around Jecht too long. You don't have to prove anything to us, you know. You're a Summoner already, for cripe's sake! Take it slow! You don't have to save the world in one day."

Braska chuckled softly. "I thought you would be pleased to see the creator of Macalania's forests," he said softly. "I can feel her presence in my mind. She's very beautiful, I'm certain of it."

"I bet," Rikku mumbled uncomfortably. Pausing, she separated herself from Braska long enough to push open the heavy double doors that sealed the entrance of the Cloister from the Temple's main hall. As she made her way back towards Braska, she caught Auron's eye and winced slightly. Was he going to be jealous? Did he think she was rejecting him after that conversation they had in the Cloister of Trials? The nervous butterflies in her stomach abruptly died down as Auron gave her an imperceptible nod of approval, and with a flush of relief she propped Braska against her once more.

"I see my Guardians are conspiring against me," Braska noted as she led him carefully out onto the main floor. "While I'm pleased to see the three of you working together so well, I do wish it wasn't happening at my expense."

Rikku clucked her tongue in annoyance. "We're not conspiring against you. We're _guarding_ you, since you aren't guarding yourself." She began to tug him towards one of the adjacent resting rooms, prepared especially for the visiting Summoning parties, but stopped when she felt Braska lean away from her, planting his feet firmly into the ground.

"Tell me... why did you think you'd have any more success at dissuading me than Auron?" Braska asked.

"Because I'm a girl?" Rikku said, smiling nervously and trying to tug him towards the chamber once more. _Jecht is so dead,_ she thought to herself privately.

Auron stepped into view, "Is there a problem, my lord?"

"None," Braska replied blandly, extracting his arm from Rikku's iron grip with a brief look of warning. "I just need a moment to gather myself before I summon."

"Really, now?" Jecht's voice was overly loud, breaking the hushed silence of the temple as he strolled towards them. "And here I thought you were gonna take a break." He grinned toothily at Rikku, who winced.

"Braska-" she mumbled. To her surprise, he turned towards her with a look of weary understanding.

"Rikkma, I truly appreciate the concern you and the others are showing for my well-being. But I am not doing this to show off. I _must_ summon this aeon. I must prove that I am strong enough to defeat Sin for myself." He smiled faintly. "It is a test, and the duty of every Summoner. I cannot back away, and I cannot fail."

Rikku sighed and dropped her head. She knew the look in his eyes; no matter what Jecht thought she could do, nothing was going to stop him. Nothing short of his own death, if that was what it took. "... do you want another potion?" she asked quietly.

"I must succeed on my own," he answered, holding out his staff. "Please, tell the others to get back."

Rikku worried her lip. "Aren't you scared that you'll hurt yourself?" she tried one last time.

Braska tilted his head, one of his trademark half-smiles gracing his delicate features. He looked so fragile in that moment, like a life-sized porcelain doll, rather than a man. But his voice was steady when he spoke. "Of course I am worried. Believe me, it is not a lack of fear that drives me to do this now. But there are things which I believe in that are greater than the sum of my own fears. Things that we all must believe in. A world of peace. A world free of Sin. Such a world, brought forth by the Summoner's sacrifice." He gave her a measured look. "I know you understand, Rikkma."

She knew a lost cause when she heard one. With a slight nod, she moved away from Braska, giving him the space he would need to dance. _So stubborn,_ she thought to herself. Then, hesitating, she darted forward. "Wait! At least let me give you this," she said quickly, ignoring Braska's surprised expression as she leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. "For luck," she explained as Braska stared.

After a moment of hesitation, he returned her smile and gave her a slight nod. "Thank you."

Rikku turned away from him and jogged over to Auron and Jecht, motioning them to move back. "I couldn't stop him," she explained briefly. "He's still going to summon her." She let her head droop a little. "I'm sorry," she mumbled to them under her breath.

"I can't believe you really went an' kissed him!" Jecht whispered loudly, causing her to flush and glance quickly at Auron. His expression was closed, however, and his eyes trained on Braska.

"You and your stupid bets," Rikku mumbled irritably, turning around to watch the show. Braska had already begun the summoning dance, she noted; if his steps were a little slower than usual, or his dance a little less graceful, no one commented on it. Indeed, there was nothing to be said as the swirl of magic surrounded him, spiralling around the staff in his hand and lifting upwards it a spray of colour. The tinkling of crystal became louder, and she heard Jecht suck in his breath sharply as the first few shards of ice fell from the ceiling. Massive chunks of it exploded from the floor, and then silence reigned as the silvery, almost-liquid form of the aeon _poured_ herself into existence, like a living ice sculpture.

"Whoa," Jecht breathed, his eyes wide as Shiva formed, blasting away her prison of ice with an air of haughty disregard. Even Auron seemed speechless for the moment, enraptured by the large aeon's unearthly beauty.

Rikku drank in the sight of the much-missed aeon appreciatively. Shiva had always reminded her very much of Lulu - besides the very obvious parallel of being ridiculously stacked, both were also calm, cool and put together - what was, in Rikku's mind, the perfect ideal of feminine beauty. She let out a tiny sigh of contentment, and then stiffened as the summon turned to regard the source of the disturbance in the otherwise silent temple. Or, more correctly, to regard _her._

She couldn't notice anything but the aeon as it stared at her, its delicate features giving the creature's look an eerily almost-human quality. The gaze sent a chilled jolt through her body and reflexively, Rikku wrapped her arms around herself. No - Shiva wasn't anything like Lulu, Rikku found herself amending. Lulu, for her frosty exterior, still had compassion and feelings for others, the basics of what made a person human. Shiva was, all puns aside, much more transparent. It was the incarnation of ruthlessness, the remains of a consciousness that had shed every last ounce of humanity in order to transform itself into the perfect machine.

As if hearing Rikku's thoughts, Shiva smirked slightly in return. Her eyes remained cold and unforgiving, her gaze unblinking. _You do not belong here,_ the aeon seemed to say, though she didn't appear to be surprised.

Suddenly, Rikku knew. She knew with a terrifying, absolute certainty, that this was how it would be for the rest of the Pilgrimage. No amount of planning, of clawing or scraping to gain access to the inner sanctum of a temple would change her situation. Shiva tilted her head as if satisfied, and with a toss of one thick braid, leapt away, disintegrating into graceful swirls of pyreflies. Rikku didn't notice, her throat dry and her eyes wide.

_They won't help you. You chose this,_ her inner voice quietly supplied in the face of her mute shock.

_Give up,_ her thoughts whispered traitorously. _Forget the Rikku you were, and become the Rikkma of this era. There's no going back anyway._ The small whimper stuck in Rikku's throat. She was here, in this past, unstuck in time forever or until she died - which would happen pretty soon, if Braska completed his Pilgrimage as he said he would. _It'd be easier to forget anyway... to pretend that this is your second chance, your time to be with Auron. Just let go, isn't that what Auron himself told you to do?_

Rikku felt her fists clenching at her side. _Give up? Just like that?_ She shook her head, breaking out of the trance she had been thrust into on seeing ice maiden. So what if Ixion or Ifrit wouldn't help her? Heck, if she paid Yojimbo enough money he'd probably open the gates of time for her personally himself. And if that wasn't an option, there was always Valefor. _Yeah, Valefor,_ Rikku thought to herself with an increasing amount of hope. Valefor _was_ gentler than any of the other summons she had ever remembered meeting; it had shared a unique bond with Yuna, and it had even comforted Tidus during his time of need. If there was any aeon that could possibly be called compassionate, it would have to be the winged wonder of Besaid.

With that bit of rationalization, Rikku felt the sudden wave of panic that had been clutching at her mind gradually slip away. She stubbornly refused to think of what would happen if her plan didn't work - she couldn't abandon her hope. _My story is not going to end in the past!_ Another thought struck her, and Rikku stifled a groan. _Wait a second - Besaid is all the way on the other side of the world! Valefor is going to be the last aeon Braska picks up on this trip!_ "Great," she breathed aloud.

"That's the understatement of the year," Jecht piped in, finally recovering from his own shock. "Why didn'tcha tell me those aeons could be babes? That thing had legs all the way up to her neck!" He let out a low, appreciative whistle, and both Auron and Rikku winced.

"Don't be disgusting, Jecht." Rikku growled. "Shiva isn't even human!"

"She got it where it counts," Jecht replied with a lecherous grin. Ignoring the incredulous stares of his companions, he sauntered out towards Braska. "Hey man, nice job! You look beat. I think you earned a rest, huh?"

"Indeed," Braska replied, this time leaning easily into the proffered arm. "Thank you - all of you - for doing your own duties, just as I did mine," he added briefly. His eyes lingered slightly on Rikku, and with a sinking feeling, she wondered if the impulsive kiss she had given him had been a mistake. A quick glance over her shoulder at Auron stilled those fears quickly, even as a new set was raised.

Auron, too, was looking at her strangely, and she realized with a jolt that he had _seen._ He'd seen Shiva staring right at her! She opened her mouth, scrabbling for an explanation, and then closed it abruptly as she met Braska's eyes. He was practically dead on his feet, the last of his strength robbed by the summoning, and an unfamiliar feeling surged through her suddenly and quashed her uneasiness. Whatever it was that had happened, there were some things that were more important. _"Things which I believe in that are greater than the sum of my fears,"_ Braska had told her.

_I'm not going home, not anytime soon. I'm a Guardian now,_ Rikku thought to herself. She straightened her shoulders and smiled at Braska. Auron's questions would wait, and so would her answers - they had a job to do first, and a few frosty looks from an aeon would do little to change that.

* * *

_A/N: I hated Sphere Break so much. But I did win that dressphere off of Shinra._


	18. Uncertain

**- 18: Uncertain -**

"We need to talk."

Rikku swallowed. She'd been expecting those words for quite some time now. The trip out of Macalania's frozen cliffs had been as uneventful as it had been cold. Conversation was sparse - unlike the fiend battles they were challenged by. But with Braska by their side, determined to flex his summoning muscles, at the least the fighting was admittedly easier; he wanted to master Shiva's frosty power while the aeon was still in her home element. Rikku hadn't minded; it gave her that much more time to concentrate on salvaging their dismal supply situation - something that hadn't been aided by her previous gil-tossing skills.

Auron had remained suspiciously reticent for the entire hike, but Rikku could _feel_ he was planning something. Jecht's increasingly erratic behaviour wasn't helping - in place of his usual tension-breaking idiotic jokes, a surly temper was steadily growing. He was reminding her less and less of Tidus' childish yet endearing charm and more of the arrogant, careless stranger the blonde had sometimes described him as. If that wasn't enough, his fighting was in a worse state than ever - Rikku swore that she could see his hands shake when he gripped his sword. It was lucky for them all that Braska was eager to pick up the slack, but Rikku wondered what would happen once they left the icy planes and training the aeon would no longer be a priority.

It wasn't a particularly pleasant mix of tension to travel with - the atmosphere was silent and strained, with pressure slowly building on each side. Rikku was waiting for the inevitable explosion with a sense of dread. As she glanced back at Auron, she wondered if this was going to be "the big kablooie." _Couldn't he have picked on Jecht?_ she wondered to herself for an uncharitable moment, before gathering her resolve and facing him resolutely. _I am a Guardian. I've faced Sin. I won't let anything scare me!_

"No, we don't!" Rikku blurted out, and then graced Auron with a sunny smile for good measure.

_Or, okay, maybe I can deal with the big kablooie on another day_!

Auron was giving her a simple, knowing look. One of _those_ looks, the ones that allowed her to relax her facial muscles but also infuriated her because she knew he wasn't going to be distracted. She mentally drew another point for him on their scorecard and rolled her eyes. _It's completely unfair,_ she pouted to herself. _That man could move nations with one eyebrow._

"Alright, mister Eyebrow of Doom. We can talk now if you insist." Rikku scrunched her nose at him and gave him a scowl of defeat.

"Thank you," Auron replied, his voice so dry Rikku was sure he could have cured jerky by breathing into the bag of meat. "I think the problem to discuss is obvious."

Rikku inhaled sharply. _Busted!_ "Okay, yeah." _Breath, Rikku!_ "About that aeon thing. I can totally explain! I know you hate it when I keep secrets, and I guess this is the mother of all big ones, but I can't just tell you. I mean, maybe I can, but I think you'd better sit down or stop walking or at least sheathe your sword - come on, Braska's been all _lemmie-at-em!_ for the entire time anyway, you know he'd cover us if we got ambushed! Otherwise you might trip and fall and impale yourself on your sword, or something, and then - hey, actually, I don't know if that would really change anything! But it would be all gross and nasty and I'd have to sphere change just to heal you because Jecht just drank our last hi-potion - without asking, I might add, and you know what he said to me after he did it? He said _I don't feel high at all,_ can you _believe_ that jerk? And anyway - uh, hello, are you even listening to me?" She trailed off as she noticed the look Auron was directing at her. This one was a different look now, one of the ones he usually fired off at Jecht. It was the one that was incredulously asking, with just one quirked lip, _how stupid are you?_ "Huh? What, what'd I say?"

Auron shook his head for a moment, pinching his brow in annoyance and muttering something softly under his breath that sounded suspiciously like _I can't believe she talks that much_ but could have just as well been _I can't believe we didn't have brunch._ Which was a point - they _were_ almost out of food, and everybody was ready for a hot meal and something other than dried meat to chew on. Yeah, it was definitely the food problem that was giving him problems concentrating on their conversation, Rikku decided.

"Not about that," Auron finally said, looking up. "Does _everything_ in your perception always revolve around you?"

"It does when I'm talking about our supplies!" Rikku answered defensively. "Since I'm only holding _all_ of them! In _one small_ pouch!"

"I am aware of the situation, Rikku," Auron told her. "But I want you to forget for a moment about the food, the money, and whatever it is you're trying to hide from me this time and focus on something much more immediate. Do you think you could manage that just this once?"

Rikku stared at him in shock. "You don't want to talk to me about money, and you're not going to interrogate me about the aeon?" She frowned and peered at him with suspicion. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Auron replied with faint amusement. The smirk dropped from his face as his expression turned serious. "I'm not here to ask you about what you obviously don't want to tell me, so you can relax."

The shock was enough to snap Rikku's mouth shut, followed shortly by a momentary feeling of guilty shame - mostly because of the fact that she felt relief as the tension slipped from her shoulders, as though Auron was letting her off the hook. She knew better than to think it would last, but it seemed that another bullet had been dodged. Still... if he didn't want to talk to her about _that,_ then why had he approached her in the first place? Rikku worried her lip. "So... umm, what is it?"

Auron turned slightly and stared at one of the occupied bedrolls across the glowing embers of the campfire. "Has Jecht been acting strangely around you of late?"

Rikku followed his glance, landing on Jecht's form. He was snoring loudly, like usual. As they watched him, he rolled over and smacked his lips together a few times, snorting, before scratching an armpit and resuming his rather loud evening serenade, completely unperturbed. Rikku winced.

"Jecht always acts strange," she pointed out, earning a brief smile from Auron. It soon dropped, however, and Rikku sighed and wrapped her arms around her legs, rocking herself gently. She'd tried to avoid this - considering how straight-laced Auron was, it was a wonder he'd kept to himself for this long at all. "But I think I know what you mean."

Auron's face settled into a more typical frown, though it lacked his usual fierceness. "He is suffering from the drinking sickness. He'll put us all in danger, one way or the other, whether he finds a new source or tries to free himself of it. I had my suspicions, but Jecht should have mentioned it from the start." Auron's frown deepened slightly. "This is not how we should have found out." That it was exactly the wrong place and time was left unsaid.

Rikku lowered her chin onto her knees and stared at the burned remains of the detritus they'd scrapped together for fuel in the icy plains. Idly, she flicked a hand out and warmed the coals with a small burst of fire magic. Jecht's snoring continued to fill the chill evening air. "Maybe he doesn't realize it's a sickness yet."

Auron nodded silently in agreement. "So far it hasn't been a problem. But Braska is becoming accustomed to the new aeon, as well as the rigors of the Pilgrimage. He'll eventually notice - if he hasn't already."

"Let's hope not," Rikku said quickly, her eyes flicking from Jecht's bedroll to Braska's. Their summoner was quietly sleeping opposite of Jecht. The two had a strange symmetry, being a study in contrasts even while in sleep. Jecht was sprawled messily over the crumpled remains of his blanket, while Braska was tucked in so peacefully that he might have been mistaken for dead, if not for the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Exhaustion kept the summoner still, lost in the deepest of sleeps as he gathered his magical strength for the next day's journey.

Rikku's hand travelled to her lips unconsciously, recalling the fleeting kiss she had planted on Braska. Her cheeks flushed in guilt as she realized Auron was watching her, and quickly she redirected her gaze elsewhere. "Yeah," she said uneasily. "He's been practicing with Shiva. I think he's getting better at this summoning stuff."

Auron said nothing for a while, and Rikku fidgeted uneasily. "You... umm. You don't want to ask me about that kiss either, do you?" she finally ventured. Seeing Auron's complete lack of response emboldened her. "Not even a little curious?" she added, her nervousness being slowly replaced by indignation.

Auron shrugged minutely. "It isn't my place to ask you that." He wasn't looking at her, but his eyes lost a bit of their usual intensity as a wry smile pulled at the corners of his lips. "I think I've finally realized that," he admitted after a moment, "I am neither your keeper, nor his. All this time I have tried my best to protect Lord Braska, but I think..." He trailed off, staring into the fire's remains with a small frown. "Perhaps I have been... overzealous. He has earned the right to do what he wants - or what he feels is best. So have you." He finally looked at her, then, his eyes shadowed. "You see someone important to you, someone you have lost, when you see me." He shook his head minutely as Rikku opened her mouth to protest. "I am neither blind nor stupid, Rikku. And I accept that you, too, have suffered from Sin, just as we all have. It is easy to forget that around you and Jecht... you are both so _different_ from us." His gaze settled on Braska. "Lord Braska does the same. He sees his wife in you - he cannot help himself." Auron's expression turned grim. "Braska has already sacrificed too much. If believing in you makes this Pilgrimage easier for him to endure, then I will not stand in his way. He deserves to know comfort and companionship on this, his final journey."

Rikku swallowed - the way he had named it, Braska's "final" journey, had unpleasantly pointed out the inevitable conclusion of the Pilgrimage, reminding her of what was in store for them if they succeeded. _When we succeed,_ Rikku corrected herself sternly. _It has to be when._ She started as Auron continued speaking, feeling her breath hitch. _Hold on - is he saying what I think he's saying?_

"And I know now, Rikku, that you would not hurt him. You... may return his affections, if you wish. I won't interfere."

Rikku felt as though she had been punched in the gut; not enough air was making the journey into her lungs for proper speech. She closed her mouth, which had been hanging open, with a snap, and then glared at Auron. "Hey! This could be the last journey of any of us! What are you, some kind of martyr? Don't you think you deserve a little happiness and affection too?"

Auron finally faced her. "From you?"

For one a heart-stopping moment, Rikku felt despair. The tone of his rhetorical question was leaden and uninviting, clearly spelling out REJECTION, sending her thoughts into a tailspin. _He doesn't feel anything for me? No... we're friends... I'm his friend! But nothing else? And then this... this journey I was sent on... all that pain I felt when he left... it was all for nothing?_ "W-what would be so bad about that?" she managed to reply numbly.

And then Auron sighed, his iron mask slipping just a little as something flickered behind his eyes, and suddenly Rikku found she could breathe again. She resisted the urge to sock him squarely in the shoulder for scaring her so much, figuring it would kill the mood of the moment they were sharing now - if you could call his avoidance of her and the fact that he had just practically shoved her at Braska a _moment_ at all.

"You're a very pretty girl, Rikku," Auron admitted. "Even for an Al Bhed."

Rikku felt her cheeks turn pink at the compliment a moment before her mouth dropped open in protest. As expected, Auron's dubious compliments were always a double-edged sword. Instead, she kept silent, waiting to hear the _real_ words, whatever it was he was actually trying to tell her.

"I know that you believe you are attracted to me as well. You're a very poor actress, Rikku, and you wear your emotions much too openly." He laughed shortly. "At first, it offended me, but now..." His smiled faded, and his dark stare was so heavy that Rikku felt a chill run down her spine. She licked her lips nervously, and was surprised when he looked away first.

"... things have been changing between us. Between all of us." There was a tense, but not entirely uncomfortable pause, and Auron gave her a significant look. "You no longer disgust me, in any case."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks," she replied, still trying to collect her composure. Her heart, which was threatening to split her vest open from the incessant pounding, wasn't complying. "You sure know how to flatter a girl," she drawled, clapping her hands to her flushed cheeks and turning away. Then she squeaked in surprise as she felt Auron's hands grip her forearms almost painfully and twist her around to face him. He seemed upset, but surprisingly, not with her for once.

"You are a puzzle," he breathed, lowering his face towards hers. Rikku blinked, unable to do anything but stare as her heart renewed its efforts. "Trying to unearth your secrets is... tempting," he murmured, his eyes roving over her face, as if he was trying to memorize every curve and crease. Rikku was not feeling quite as adventurous - searching his face seemed like a moot point when his lips where _that close_ to her own. "But - what you feel, Rikku," he breathed, his grip loosening slightly.

_Kiss!_ Rikku thought to herself hazily.

"Who you see... that man is not me."

_Kiss me now, you idiot!_ she mentally railed, barely listening and still zeroed in on his lips.

"And I cannot... no. _Will_ not be him."

Something clicked as Rikku saw his lips drifting away. _Still not kissed!_ her mind was screaming mutinously, preparing to take over and drag Auron down to extract a kiss out of him whether he wanted to give it or not, consequences be damned. She gained control over herself before the "conversation" turned into a wrestling match and tried to sway him with a little good old-fashioned Rikku-style logic.

"Well, we could still... um... hang out together, right? Like we're doing right now?" _Except only closer. Like, say, if you were holding me on your lap instead of on this stupid stone,_ she privately supplied. "You could just be yourself! Honest!"

Auron's fingers flexed against her forearms. His eyes were so dark - she hadn't had the opportunity to see them this closely since he had stared her in the face all those years ago - and why in Shiva's name hadn't she ever realized how beautiful they were? A heavy sense of anticipation filled her, and she leaned forward, letting her own fall shut as she puckered her lips -

"I can't do that, Rikku."

_That was not a kiss,_ Rikku thought as her eyes flew open. She blinked in surprise. Then she voiced the first, immediate thought that came to mind. "Why not?"

Auron sighed heavily, though he didn't release her - which she noted with glee. "You asked whether or not I wanted to know about that kiss you gave to Braska. I think you should first ask _yourself_ that question."

Rikku's mouth fell open and she pulled herself out of Auron's arms abruptly. So he _was_ jealous! With a great amount of effort, she ignored the urge to privately celebrate and instead focused on the man directly before her. "But that was all Jecht's fault! Him and that stupid bet of his!" Her yell was quickly modified into an indignant squeak at Auron's warning frown. "That wasn't my fault!"

Auron sat back, his expression grim as he lowered his chin into the giant collar of his coat. "Jecht may have many flaws, but setting out to intentionally hurt Braska does not appear to be one of them. And no -" he added with a quick look, "I no longer believe that it is your intent, either. But what you gave him was more than a simple kiss. Surely you understand that."

Rikku sat back, stumped. No, she _didn't_ understand that. _More than a kiss?_ "Back up there!" Rikku squeaked. "What do you mean? That was just an innocent peck on the cheek!"

The hard stare Auron gave her made Rikku want to disappear into her boots. "What?"

"You gave him hope, Rikku. Something you wouldn't have done if you had no feelings for him, no matter which inane games you play with Jecht."

"Of course I have feelings for him!" Rikku sputtered. "He's my uhh... uhh, he's _family!_ I love him! Just not the way you think I do!"

Auron's chin sunk even further behind the collar. His eyes remained on her own. "I am not completely ignorant to the ways of the Al Bhed, Rikku. I was Braska's companion and friend long before you even knew of him." He paused and turned to regard their sleeping companion. "It is not uncommon for a brother to take over the care of a sibling's extended family when a death occurs. And Lord Braska is not your brother in blood. According to your own traditions, not only is it well within his right to pursue you - it is expected. At least, it would be - were he truly Al Bhed."

Rikku felt herself turn colder than Shiva at the mention of the term "brother." So that's who Auron thought she was? Raenn's _sister?_ That would, technically, make everything that he had just said true. The only problem was that Auron was dead wrong - and besides, Rikku reminded herself, Braska was Yuna's _father._ Friends didn't jump other friends' dads - that was just _gross._

"But I don't like him! I like you! Even Jecht knows that!" Rikku gave Auron a challenging stare, ignoring her own gut reaction to turn around and run away, squealing in the highest pitch possible. _I can't believe I just said that,_ she thought fleetingly. _Goodbye, modesty! Hello, embarrassment!_ Well... what was done was done, Rikku thought. And second-guessing herself was a sure-fire way to guarantee a loss in the stare-down war with Auron. "And I think you've started to like me, too! So what's the problem here? Am I still not good enough for you?"

Auron grimaced, visibly startled by her accusation. "Don't try to make this an issue of race, Rikku. Or have you already forgotten your own prejudice? Maybe you should don that magic armour of yours if you need a reminder."

Rikku flinched and bowed her head. _Guess I earned that one, but it still smarts,_ she thought sullenly. She heard Auron sigh angrily.

"That wasn't - Rikku," he tried again, rubbing a hand over his face in an oddly familiar gesture - one that had stuck with the older Auron over the years. "I don't know what you want. But what I am trying to explain to you is that you don't know, either."

Rikku's mouth dropped open in indignation. "Hey! I know exactly what I want! Stop putting words into my mouth!" She bit off the sentence before she could tack on a _"and try your tongue instead!"_ to it, but Auron still gave her a knowing stare. _What am I missing here?_ Rikku thought to herself. Her confusion must have been plastered all over her face, because Auron answered her question without any verbal prompting.

"There is much more to a relationship than merely physical attraction," Auron told her wearily. "What you think you feel, what you see in me - and yes, even what I feel - that isn't enough. It's not enough for me, it wouldn't be enough for you and it's certainly not enough to force onto Braska. There are no fairy-tale romances or happy endings in Spira, Rikku."

Rikku bit her lip silently. He was right, of course... there were no happy endings in _this_ Spira - this past, foreign world of his.

"I don't know what happened in your family, Rikku, or why you are exiled," Auron continued. "But I can tell you that Braska is a good man, despite what you may have been told. You don't have to feel shame or disgrace for returning his feelings. You don't have to run away from him."

Rikku shivered and wrapped her arms around herself tightly, rocking back and forth. She studied Braska, still sleeping peacefully, completely unaware of their midnight discussion and his own role in it. "Auron, you don't know what you're talking about," Rikku began, but he cut her off.

"You're a liar, _Rikkma,_" he told her bluntly. "You've lied about your past. You've lied about your feelings for me. And now you're lying to yourself about your feelings for Braska as well. You've lied so much that I wonder if you even know truth anymore." His words were harsh, but his tone was not full of censure, as she would have expected. "You know what he sees in you, and yet you continue to encourage him - with your smiles, your touches, your kind words and now even a kiss. You're not cruel, Rikku. But you are naive."

_He's wrong. Auron's __**wrong.**_ Rikku tore her eyes away from Braska and fixed Auron with a ferocious stare. "You mean I should push him away then? Be mean to him so he won't get his hopes up? Tell him a dramatic story about how it's not meant to be over a campfire?" She shook her head wildly, braids and beads and feathers slapping into her face and stinging her cheeks. "Just like you're doing to me right now. Well you know what I think? I think you're just _afraid_ of me, yeah!" Rikku huffed and waited stubbornly for his answer. The silence loomed, but Rikku hunched her shoulders and refused to give up. She could wait forever for _this_ answer.

A dry laugh, unexpected, broke the tense silence. "Maybe you're right," Auron admitted. "I am pushing you away. But you know why. I don't want to be someone else for you." His dark eyes lost their crinkle of amusement when he looked up. "I don't know _what_ I feel, but at least I know what I _do not_ want." He fell quiet, his own challenge still unyielding.

Rikku flushed and peered at Braska. She had won the battle... sorta. Auron's answer was as raw and honest as it could get, even she couldn't deny that. And it still didn't change anything. _Well I know that I don't want to be Raenn. Maybe Auron's right. Maybe I need to start being meaner to Braska. Just because he has it hard doesn't mean I should be leading him on somehow,_ she thought to herself.

Braska sighed slightly and shifted, rolling to his side. The glimpse of his face which she saw was briefly contorted with the remnants of some bad dream, but it passed as quickly as it had come, and his features soon smoothed out to their slack, unguarded state once more. Yuna had suffered from those dreams, too, Rikku recalled, after she had started collecting the aeons.

"They say summoning changes a person," she remarked absently, feeling an urge to move to Braska's side and rest her hand against his forehead, to try and soothe away the worries and the dreams that she _knew_ were plaguing him. But instead she caught herself and scowled at Auron. "You think showing someone a little compassion is a sign of being in love? You know, you're pretty messed up, Auron. I don't want to know what your family was like," she grumbled.

"Compassion," Auron echoed, the humourless smile back in place. "Is that what you call this. Funny," he added, looking away. "I would call it cruelty."

The conversation died away, and though they were sitting right next to each other, surrounded by their sleeping companions, Rikku felt tired and alone. Auron's words had upset her - but not as much as they _should have._ All things considered, he didn't seem really upset with her either, despite their obvious disagreement. Most of all, though, Rikku was surprised that she wasn't angrier at Auron's accusations about her own supposed feelings for Braska. _Well, it's because I __**do**__ love him,_ she reasoned. _Just in a different way. I thought he could understand that._

"I'm sorry," Rikku said suddenly, "for treating you like somebody else. Someone you're not," she explained clearly. "You were right about that. But -" She took a deep breath. "I'm willing to do what it takes to prove that I really like you. _You,_ Auron. Not someone who looks like you. Not just my memories."

Auron glanced at her warily. "Don't try to kiss me," he said immediately with a faint look of alarm. Rikku rolled her eyes.

"Hey, how'd you know what I was - oh, forget it! Besides, I didn't win the part of the bet where I got to kiss you anyway, not that you'd believe that," she added with a shrug. "But I do want something from you, to show you that I'm serious. At least give me the chance to change your mind," she pressed.

"Something," Auron repeated after a short, thoughtful pause. "You've already taken my sword, my bracer, and all of my money. What more do you want?"

Rikku felt her grin growing wider as the heavy air lifted ever-so-slightly between them. A glint entered her eye as she stared at him, and Auron winced almost reflexively.

"No -" he tried rather uselessly, but Rikku was already grabbing at the sleeve of his long, red coat.

"C'mon! Gimmie your coat! I won't damage it, I swear!"

After the ensuing brief but relatively quiet struggle, Rikku managed to wrest the heavy cloth off his arms and gathered it into her lap. It was more due to the fact that he had let her win in order to keep from waking Braska and Jecht with the struggle than her thieving skills, but Rikku wasn't going to quibble over the details. A win was a win, fair or not. "See?" she whispered triumphantly. "You do like me. You let me have this!"

"I didn't want to disturb the others with your incessant scheming," Auron grumbled, crossing his arms. Which, without the bulky fabric of his coat sleeves to hide them in, were laid bare to the world in all of their finely-muscled glory.

_Holy moley, he's hot,_ Rikku reminded herself, biting her lip and trying not to stare. Auron cleared his throat with a knowing, faintly smug look, and Rikku blanched and scowled half-heartedly at him. She couldn't hold the frown, however, simply gave up trying as she gleefully delved into the coat, running her fingers over the fabric as a thousand ideas raced through her head. Finally, she settled on one, abandoning the cloak for a moment to dig through their last, precious supply pouch.

"I'm going to put a little officially Rikku-certified fashion sense into this thing, mister. I mean, red is such a total fashion mistake, if you ask me. It makes you look fat. It could make anybody with abs of steel and a skin-tight bodysuit look fat. Just look at Nooj! ... Never mind about that last part." She chattered mercilessly, grabbing her soldering iron and a few scraps of metal out of the bag. Finding everything that she had been searching for, Rikku immediately began tooling the decorative metal shoulder-guard of the coat. "If you're gonna go flamboyant, then at least you should do it with a little bit of style. You should wear this coat off the shoulder or something. Y'know, one arm in, one arm out. It'd look fantastic on you!" she continued merrily, sneaking another calculating glance at Auron's biceps. "And this should help a little too," Rikku added, ducking back as a few sparks flew from the tips of the metal she was working. "Everything could use a little of that good ol' Al Bhed flair!" Finishing quickly - it was only a decorative modification, after all - Rikku blew on the still-glowing shoulder guard and then held up the fabric to display her handiwork to Auron. "Well, what do you think?"

Silence. Rikku scowled.

"What, don't you like it?" she pressed dangerously.

"You... have taken the traditional uniform of Yevon's Warrior Monks and decorated it with an Al Bhed design," Auron finally observed. He tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you take pleasure in insulting the Church at every turn?"

Rikku didn't actually have to think about that one. "Well, yeah, actually, I guess I do," she admitted cheerfully. "But this time it's just a neat little bonus for what I was really trying to do."

"And that was...?" Auron trailed off, reaching for the coat.

Rikku frowned. "Oh, stop being so sarcastic," she said to him, refusing to relinquish the red cloth. There was no way she was going to give this to him if he was going to make fun of it, or worse yet, _insult_ it. "I just wanted to give you a little piece of me. Y'know," Rikku added, feeling more and more embarrassed by the second as Auron stared her down incredulously. "Something that would last - that you could take with you, no matter where you go." Her voice faltered, and the coat slipped through her fingers as a faint sense of panic began to bloom. _Maybe he really doesn't like it. He said it was a uniform? Oh, great, maybe I did go too far this time..._ Rikku closed her eyes and tried to stifle her groan of mortification. And here she'd been trying to help ease the tension between them, for crying out loud!

A sudden, unexpected pressure on her hands caused Rikku's eyes to fly open. She was met with the sight of Auron's larger, pale fingers slowly sliding over her own, tracing the designs on the warmed metal through her grasp.

"I am... honoured. Thank you, Rikku," he murmured, more gently than she had ever heard him speak. "I will wear it with pride." Catching himself, he withdrew his fingers and scowled faintly. "Lord Braska will be pleased to see it, of course," he coughed.

Rikku smiled widely at Auron and pulled the coat out of his grasp, swatting his hands away. "Wait, there's one last thing I want to do to it," she said, running her hand through the supply pouch eagerly. She gripped and quickly discarded several small objects, searching for something that would accurately reflect her feelings. When her hand finally closed around one of their few, precious phoenix downs, Rikku felt her smile widen. "I know exactly what this needs," she murmured, drawing out the fluffy feather and one other, more familiar set of beads and thread that she quickly strung the feather to. A few welding sparks later, the beaded hair-cord Yuna had made for her was dangling from the back of his shoulder guard, the small feather at its end twisting gently through the air. "There," Rikku sighed, blowing on the metal to cool it. "Now it's perfect."

"That is Besaid-style knotwork," Auron observed with interest. "Those are very rare and expensive to obtain. You've been to Besaid before?" he noted with surprise.

"I knew someone from there once," Rikku explained, pleased with her work.

"Thank you," Auron repeated dubiously. "But... why this, and the feather? I can hardly wait to hear what Jecht will say about it," he deadpanned.

Rikku stuck out her tongue. "Oh, come on. You're man enough to wear Besaid hair-braids, right? Besides, with arms like those and that sword, nobody will laugh at you. Just keep one of them out there for everyone to see and people will be too busy looking at that to notice the feathers anyhow," she said slyly.

"Hnn," Auron grunted irritably, but he did stand up and don the coat properly. "I'll keep that in mind," he said, shrugging out of one sleeve but continuing to hide his arm from her view within the bulky jacket of the coat. He looked down at her, one eyebrow quirked. "And does this meet with the approval of your fashion police, then? Or do I need to start wearing sunglasses next?" he grumbled.

Rikku smiled thoughtfully, planting her chin in one hand. "Naw. I think you're good the way you are right now," she admitted. And, not really surprisingly, she found she meant it.


	19. Sheer Luck

**- Chapter 19: Sheer Luck -**

"C'mon, man, gimmie a break!" Jecht's bellow echoed across the clearing. "I'm too tired to do this! I need a time-out!"

"The fiends will not be as accommodating as I am," came Auron's curt reply. There was the sound of clashing metal, and then -

"OWW! Damn it, Auron, I can't feel my wrists anymore!"

"That yell of pain tells me otherwise. Now take up your sword."

The short moment of silence that followed was soon punctuated by more grumbling. Then the sound of ringing metal filled the air once more. Rikku sighed and shook her head before risking a glance at Braska, who was tending to the remains of their makeshift camp. "Auron's being pretty tough on him, huh?" she observed.

Braska smiled faintly and nodded, wrapping up his bedroll. "He may seem harsh, but Jecht has found himself a competent teacher." He paused. "Auron would not try quite so hard if Jecht didn't show at least some promise."

There was another loud ring, and then more of Jecht's increasingly creative obscenities on Auron, his sword technique, his lineage and how the two meshed together filtered through.

"... Once he learns how to keep his grip on his sword," Braska added as an afterthought. Finishing with his bundle, he stood and shook out his robes. "But the lesson is over for today. It's time we moved on." Stooping over, he scooped Auron's pack from the ground and made his way over to the two swordsmen.

Rikku kicked at the ground sullenly before rolling to her feet. "I was afraid you were gonna say that," she mumbled, shouldering her pack. Grabbing Jecht's, she trailed after him. As she pulled alongside the three men, she tossed it toward the Blitzball player, nearly hitting him in the face and earning more than a few of his colourful expletives. Ignoring the remarks completely, she turned to Braska. "Do you think we could at least wait until it stopped raining?" she asked. "Jecht does need more practice, after all!" She was met by more swearing and ducked a half-hearted blow from the man in question.

"That storm never ends," Auron interrupted. "Unless you want to take up permanent residence in Macalania, it's time to move on."

"Yeah," agreed Jecht a bit too hastily. "We need to get back to civilization. Y'know, with people. And food. And bars," he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

Braska smiled sympathetically. "While I can't say that I approve of the bars, I fear I must agree with Jecht, Rikkma. Djose Temple is our next destination, and to reach it we must cross the Thunder Plains."

"I know, I know," Rikku replied. "It's just... well, I don't really like thunder all that much." Stubbing a toe into the ground, she frowned. It had been a while since Rikku had overcome her crippling fear of thunder, but that still didn't mean she enjoyed travelling through the Thunder Plains. In fact, the only time she could recall appreciating any time spent there was during Yuna's concert - and that was more due to the fact that the storm had actually broken, rather than the concert itself. She looked up quickly to see the others regarding her thoughtfully. Well, Auron and Braska. Jecht looked smug, and she realized belatedly that she had probably just given him ample ammunition to use against her during the rest of the Pilgrimage. She rolled her eyes and stiffened her back in a show of bravery, planting her hands on her hips. "Whatever," she said with more confidence than she felt. "I won't slow us down."

Still, as the small entourage finally made their way to the edge of the wet, darkened fields of rock, Rikku found her feet slowing. Lightning flashed, and she jumped warily, managing to just barely stifle her squeak of dismay. Braska was busy explaining the quirks of the never-ending storms and lighting strikes to Jecht, who was listening with an almost too-eager appearance of anticipation. _It figures,_ Rikku thought to herself. Only someone like Jecht would be excited at the possibility of getting barbequed by a lightning bolt. There was another flash of light, followed immediately by a loud crack of thunder. With a sense of foreboding, Rikku looked up, and then leapt away as a sizzling bolt of lightning charred the ground at her feet. Scowling, she quickly rolled off of her butt and inspected her now-thoroughly-soaked skirt. Then she shook a fist at the sky. "Hey, aim at one of those taller guys over there!" she grumbled, pointing at Jecht. "Just fry one of the guys carrying those lightning rods on their back and leave me alone!" In response, the sky rumbled ominously, and Rikku groaned.

"Looks like you got all the luck, blondie!" Jecht called out to her with a grin. He followed it up with a whoop as another blast of lightning struck a few feet away from Rikku, causing her to cringe once more.

Rikku growled at Jecht half-heartedly, but his comment had her fingering her belt speculatively. She looked at the new sphere she had placed in it and wondered if it would work. Shinra wasn't there to fix it if anything went wrong, but then again - she'd made this sphere herself, and she didn't really believe that Jecht's personality would be a hostile one. _Embarrassing,_ maybe, but not _malicious._ _Besides,_ Rikku thought to herself as she tapped the Sphere Break game she had recorded, _the worst it can do is not work, right?_ "Guys," she called out after a moment's consideration. "I'm going to try something, okay? Don't freak out!"

Auron's eyebrows shot up instantly. "Something?" he asked, a dark look beginning to cloud his features. "Define _something._"

Braska turned and saw Rikku fingering her belt. "You're going to use your magic belt again," he observed astutely, "but why?"

"Who cares why?" Jecht whooped, jumping up in excitement - and avoiding another thunderbolt in the process. "C'mon, just do it already! I've been waitin' to see this since forever!"

Rikku rolled her eyes in exasperation. At least she could trust Jecht to make sphere changing seem like nothing more than a trip down one of Luca's fashion runways. Still somewhat nervous, she bit her lip and looked to Braska for approval, rather than jumping headlong into her plan. "It's a new sphere," she said quickly, sensing the dark look Auron was shooting her over Braska's shoulder. "I'm, umm, well, I'm not really sure what it'll do, but I don't think it'll hurt anybody. Aaand," she added quickly, seeing Auron shift his weight, "I think it'll even help us cross the Thunder Plains a little more safely if it works."

Braska frowned thoughtfully, then gave her a slow nod.

"My lord -!" Auron said immediately, still not enamoured with the idea of Rikku changing into one of her dresspheres. She frowned at him, then tempered the look with a guilty wince. In all honesty, Auron had yet to have a good experience with one of her "enhanced" personalities to date. Then she lifted her chin. Well, that was just going to have to change. Rikku wasn't about to give up using one of the few advantages she had on this Pilgrimage just because it made Auron uncomfortable. In fact, she considered it suitable revenge for when he made her feel clumsy and awkward just by being his normal, competent, muscle-bound self. Which was pretty much _always._ She smirked and turned her attention back to Braska.

"Go ahead, Rikkma," Braska was telling her. "Your magic is a resource that none of us can afford to ignore at the moment." His tone was light, but in it were the underpinnings of a faint command; again, her fault. They were short on money and supplies, and Braska was quietly making clear that no advantage, no matter how uncomfortable it might be for the group, was to be turned away.

"So whatcha gonna change into now, blondie?" Jecht asked, completely missing the subtle undertones of the conversation in favour of ogling Rikku speculatively. "Tell me it's a blitzer, please!"

"It is, in a way," Rikku admitted, her hand hovering over the sphere belt. "It's you, actually. Well, a recording I made of you." She tried valiantly not to notice how both Auron and Braska blanched at the news as Jecht let out another triumphant whoop.

"Well ya know, there can be only one Sublimely Magnificent Jecht, but I really can't blame ya for trying," he crowed.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Auron muttered darkly to Braska, whose calming smile was beginning to look suspiciously strained. "How is this supposed to help us cross the Thunder Plains?" he added with more volume.

"Hey, stop looking so glum, I'm on it too!" Rikku ignored the groan emanating from Auron and the tightening of Braska's smile and pushed on recklessly. "And it's not so much a recording of Jecht, but what he was doing."

Auron sighed and passed a hand over his eyes. "I find myself _gushing_ with relief," he deadpanned. Then he shrugged and loosely gripped his sword. "Perhaps you should just stop talking and get it over with," he grumbled. "I'm sure Lord Braska and I will be able to adequately _handle_ the fallout."

"Hey, stop talkin' like it's gonna be a bad thing!" Jecht protested. "It is ME after all!" The rumbling of thunder cut through the silence.

Rikku shrugged. "Well, here goes nothing!" she said, sucking in her breath and activating the sphere. A swirl of energy surrounded her, and Rikku felt her head tipping back as she spread her arms to welcome it. The change felt slow, sluggish almost; she wondered what kind of tuning Shinra usually did to the spheres before he allowed them to be used. It felt as though there was something blocking her summoning of the dressphere. She could feel its potential, scraping and moving under the surface of the swirling energy, but no sudden overwhelming feeling of being overtaken, of being replaced by something - or someone - else. Frowning, Rikku squeezed her eyes tightly shut and delved more deeply into the power flowing around her. The more she chased and grasped after the elusive energy, however, the faster it slipped from her reach.

_Come on, come on,_ she thought impatiently. Somehow she was convinced that Yuna wouldn't have had this problem; probably even Braska could draw out whatever was hiding in the sphere she had made. But Rikku wasn't a Summoner, not by a long shot, and after a moment the light swirling around her died. Cracking her eyes open, Rikku looked at her hands - and let out an exhausted sigh. There had been no change, and she let out a loud grunt of frustration as she wiped the sweat from her brow.

"What went wrong?" Braska asked gently, sensing her disappointment.

"I don't know!" Rikku snapped, more harshly than she intended to. She ducked her head. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I was just hoping that it would work, but I guess I really am out of luck. It was a long shot anyway."

Braska stepped towards her; the rain was plastering the cloth of his circlet to his head, and Rikku realized that she was the reason the rest of the group was getting soaked - without making any progress through the dangerous fields.

"It's okay, let's just forget about it -" she began, but stilled when Braska reached out and clasped her hands.

"Your belt... it summons the memories of the things you record in your spheres," he said gently. "Is that not what you told me?"

Surprised, Rikku could only nod mutely. Braska gave her another smile of encouragement. "Do not give up hope, Rikkma. You yourself know how long it took for me to master the summoning of an aeon. Try not to fight with your memories. A Summoner cannot fight the aeon he bonds himself to, for it would destroy him. It is only when we learn to fully accept an aeon into our hearts and minds that they come to us willingly."

Rikku stilled. She'd never questioned what it was like for Summoners before; she just knew there was a lot of sweat and fatigue involved from whatever went on behind those closed doors. Now, though, she wondered at the precious, jealously guarded information that Braska was letting her hear so freely. "So summoning - it's not really about pulling out all that power, but giving into it?" she asked tentatively.

Braska's blue eyes warmed slightly as he nodded. "It takes a great deal of trust... trust that the power you deliver yourself to will not harm you. Trust... and confidence. Summoning is about letting go of yourself and becoming one with something greater."

Mulling over his words, Rikku thought about Anima and couldn't help but let out a convulsive shudder. How in Spira had Yuna ever managed to master that dark, restless aeon? As if sensing her unease, she felt Braska's hands tighten over her own as he continued.

"But it is also about trust in yourself, Rikkma," he told her quietly. "The Summon becomes a part of your own soul. If you know yourself - if you accept yourself - you will not be harmed." He stepped closer to her. "You are a strong, good-hearted woman. Trust in yourself, in your own abilities and powers, and you will master this sphere." He leaned in, and she felt a gentle pressure at her cheek, and then he was moving away before she could even register the soft brush of his lips against her skin. Rikku's hand flew to her face, her eyes wide with shock.

"For luck," he told her with a smile, gravitating back towards Auron, who had observed the entire display stoic indifference. "I believe in you. Try your sphere again."

Rikku nodded wordlessly, her hand still on her cheek, which she was sure was starting to burn as red as Auron's coat. She didn't dare shift her eyes towards the other man; she could tell from his posture alone that he had gone stock-still. Even Jecht wasn't making a comment; rather, he was looking between Braska and Auron with a thoughtful, half-squinted expression that she hadn't seen in a while.

Rikku took a deep breath. With everyone watching each other and remaining motionless, there was only one thing to do. Either she could try again, or they could all became living lightning rods while waiting for the tension to break. _Tough call._ Closing her eyes, she passed her hand over the dressphere and called forth the power it contained once more.

It leapt over her skin in a nearly painful crackle of energy, surrounding her with light; instinctively, Rikku felt herself cringing and trying to push away from it, to master it. The sensation was a lot more raw and intense than her Shinra-prepared dresspheres, and she struggled for control. _Trust in yourself._ She repeated Braska's words, forcing herself to stop fighting the conflicting swirls of energy. She felt her shoulders relax, her arms spreading as electricity washed through her, at first violent, as if threatening to make her lose herself. She struggled not to clench, to accept the foreign presence and strangely familiar thoughts that raced through her mind. _You won't harm me,_ she thought to the strange _almost-consciousness_ that was taking a hold inside of herself. The glow of the transformation surrounded her, and a smile played at her lips. _You __**are**__ me._

She felt Jecht's wild laughter run through her, his overabundance of confidence and self-assurance. She saw the coins glinting as they spun through the air, lazily turning over and over on themselves. And she saw herself, smiling as she deftly flipped and shifted the coins around with her index fingers, her lips moving in a silent, rapid count. And she was them; she was all of them, and they were her. She saw Jecht toss another coin, laughing in triumph as he won his bet, and with a start, she realized that it was she who was laughing. Laughing, twirling on her toes as the light faded, leaving her standing among her friends in the midst of the cold, dark, rain-soaked Thunder Plains.

"Is there something you're not telling us?" she heard Auron say. The question wasn't directed at herself.

"That is NOT me," came the quick answer from Jecht. "There is NO WAY that is me!" He was yelling now.

"Really," Auron was saying, this time his voice laden with amusement. Braska was making a few very suspicious snorting sounds.

Deciding to take pity on her companion - he was, after all, the one who made this possible in the first place - Rikku completed her spin and snapped her cards around. They whirled around her arm, lifting and threading in an unnatural breeze under her torso and over her chest before following the line of her arm and falling into place in her waiting, outstretched hand. "Of course it's not Jecht," she said. Her voice was loud and bright, all traces of the timid fear she had felt earlier vanished. "Do you think Jecht could ever look this good in a million years? This is one-hundred-percent yours truly!" She winked and blew her friends a mocking kiss.

The men turned to her and she posed provocatively, completely unabashed by the triple set of stares she was receiving. "See something you like?" she asked shamelessly.

"I can see the resemblance now," Auron said finally, his eyes rolling upwards.

Rikku pouted seductively, jutting a hip out as she tapped the bottom of her chin with her cards. She knew it was working, just as surely as she knew that no amount of falling rain would be able to plaster down the feather ornament that was woven into her hair. "Well, I can't help it if you boys can't keep your eyes off of my sexy body!" she purred, winking at him.

"Hey hey hey," Jecht broke off loudly, waving his hand at Rikku. "C'mon, I'm not really like that, am I? Besides," he added, turning a gleaming eye on her. "There's only one _sexy bod_ on this Pilgrimage, and it don't belong to you," he sniped.

"Humph, I wonder what Braska and Auron would say about that," Rikku teased, her blood warming at the thought of some - any, really - competition. "Wanna bet on it?"

"I think not," Braska said, finally managing to recover his voice. He coughed politely, carefully manoeuvring his eyes to remain firmly planted on Rikku's face. "While I am pleased by your success, Rikkma, I'm afraid I fail to see how this new outfit of yours will assist us in our travels."

"What he means is how the hell are ya gonna cross the Thunder Plains in heels?" Jecht added, sidling up to her and giving her skimpy yellow dress a critical once-over. In response, Rikku let out a shrill, confident laugh, crossing an arm over her mouth. "I do NOT laugh like that," Jecht replied sullenly, glaring at Rikku.

"This is an outfit I'm familiar with," Rikku explained, daintily slapping her cards into Jecht's face and sending him reeling backwards - and conveniently out of her arena of personal space. The spotlight was only large enough for one, after all. "I used to call it Lady Luck. Although it _does_ feel like it has a few new touches." She tapped her lip thoughtfully. "I don't remember ever being this loud before," she admitted finally, then gave the others a winning smile. "But I'm sure it's an improvement!"

"Of course," Auron repeated, still eyeing the flimsy yellow costume she wore with distaste. "How is it that you're managing to stay dry when the rest of us are soaked?"

Rikku winked and turned, sashaying confidently onto the open plains. "I guess I'm just lucky!" she crowed, tossing her cards into the air above her head. Thunder rumbled and lighting flashed, coursing down towards her. At the last moment, the bolt split, charring the ground on either side of where she stood. Turning around, Rikku gifted them with a winsome smile. "Well? Are you boys coming, or do you want to wait and see how long it takes for your luck to run out?"

"That... could be useful," Braska observed faintly as he gathered his robes and hurried after Rikku.

"If you could put up with her long enough to stand it," Auron grumbled in reply. They both pulled up short as Rikku threw a few cards at them, glancing around as the stack whirled in place, washing over them both with a burst of magic. Ephemeral petals of red and gold rained around the two men in a riot of colour.

Rikku caught the cards expertly. "A little spell I call _Felicity,_" she explained easily. "You two shouldn't get hit by any lightning either, unless you want it." She winked at them. "Stay close now, you wouldn't wanna be caught without me when it wears off!"

Jecht finally hobbled alongside them, still peeling a stray card off of his cheek. "Hey!" he grunted. "What about me?"

Rikku narrowed her eyes and smirked. "Well, I guess you'll just have to rely on your own good looks to get you through this one," she teased. Then she looked up at the sky. "Oh, and you might wanna move," she added.

"Why? All this star power blocking your limelight?" Jecht snapped back. The sky flashed, and then a yelp filled the air along with the scent of burned hair. Rikku looked down her nose at the huge blitzer sprawled on the ground before them.

"Not anymore," she sniffed.

**.x.x.x.**

Despite the initial arguments, it didn't take long for Rikku and Jecht to become quick friends despite - or perhaps because of - the Lady Luck dressphere; altogether not too surprising, considering how much of her new personality was based off of Jecht's own. Of course, her sudden competitive streak and the mixture of ballooning egos didn't allow _everything_ to proceed quite as smoothly as their easy banter, and Rikku consistently refused to cast her luck charms on the unfortunate blitzer.

She noted with amusement that he was getting more adapt at dodging the lightning strikes as they travelled deeper into the rain swept plains; the blitzball reflexes helped. The singed toes he received when he didn't manage to jump away in time were an even greater motivator.

For as trouble-free as the actual trek through the plains themselves were, there were still a few unpleasant surprises in store for the party. Battles, as they quickly found out, were not quite as easy as before. While her presence as Lady Luck seemed to grant a boon to their spoils of war - something they all sorely needed - there was a price to be paid for the sudden good fortune. They discovered this with the first elemental monster they faced on the plains, which happened to be a disgruntled Gold Element. Some quick defensive casting by Braska ensured that nobody was heedlessly electrocuted, but it soon became clear that brute force was not the going to be the easiest solution to their monster problem. And Rikku, as the resident black magic caster, had stepped into her role.

She wasn't sure what made her gamble, or why; a sudden, capricious whim and the thought that the results might be amusing, perhaps. Either way, she laughed with delight as she closed her eyes and spun her cards around, allowing the luck of the draw to choose her spell rather than pulling it out of the Conflagration grid she wore. Of course, even Lady Luck could have her dry spells, and her companions had been somewhat less than amused when she ended up hitting the thing with a _thundara_ spell of her own. After a confused scuffle, a hard-won victory, and a scathing bout of (mostly ineffectual) yelling on Auron's part, Braska had diplomatically suggested that they relegate Rikku to the role of support, rather than attack. That suited everyone, particularly Rikku, just fine, and she took a great deal of pleasure thereafter in randomly granting her companions luck blessings - though she did manage to "accidentally" knock out Jecht once. "Oopsie! My mistake!" she had giggled to her incredulous companions.

Rikku sighed to herself as they strolled - or rather, as she strolled, and the rest of the Pilgrimage sludged - through the slick, treacherous path of the plains. There were advantages to wearing the Lady Luck sphere, she noted distantly as she examined the finish of her lacquered nails. A hazy, carefree lightness continually fogged her senses, and Rikku found she couldn't bring herself to truly worry - or even care - about most of their trip. The kiss Braska had given her no longer concerned her, though somewhere in the back of her mind something was screaming that it _should._ Auron's weary, guarded looks also made her smirk; she ignored the slight twinges of discomfort that those gave her and brushed it off as indigestion. More than once her erratic, carefree attitude had landed her in trouble; the Iron Giant lair she inadvertently led them into on one of her "shortcuts" could have gotten messy, were it not for Braska's healing magic and Auron's hasty skill with the blade. Even her brushes with danger seemed to be cloaked in a gauzy haze, though; Rikku laughed lightly to herself, flicking her cards through her hands. _Live for the moment, take a few risks. Life is short, why should we worry about silly things like consequences?_ she mused, turning her head to eye Auron speculatively.

He caught her look and winced imperceptibly, and her smile widened. She sauntered over to him, noting with disapproval that both arms had disappeared into the depths of his red overcoat.

"I thought I told you it looked better off the shoulder," she murmured, glancing up at him through lowered eyelashes.

Auron was silent for a moment before answering her carefully. "I prefer to have some measure of protection from the elements," he told her blandly.

"The elements aren't bothering me," Rikku replied helpfully, gesturing at the almost-indecent slit running down the centre of her skimpy yellow dress. "A little help might take care of that problem for you, too. Say, like a kiss?" she added with a wink. "It's not often that fortune smiles on mankind, and even less often that she looks this _good._"

Auron stared straight ahead. His grip on the handle of his sword, which was slung loosely over one shoulder, tightened. "Rikkma," he said carefully. "For Braska's sake, I am willing to grant you leniency for many of your actions." He turned his head slightly, and his eyes were hard. "Don't push your luck. Even the Lady's will run out eventually." He turned away from her and stepped up his pace significantly.

Rikku smirked, but allowed him to draw away. "Maybe next time," she murmured with a twinge of disappointment. She knew she looked great; the man would have to be dead to not notice the amount of thigh she was flashing or the way her dress plunged suggestively past her navel. And she knew for a fact that he wasn't, yet. She let out a disconsolate sigh and wished she had a mirror to check her appearance in. Maybe she wasn't pouting enough?

A shout rose from the head of their group, and Jecht came jogging back towards them, thoroughly soaked. He paused in his run and then expertly twisted out of the way as a lightning bolt whizzed toward the spot he had been standing in just moments before. "I see a buildin' up there!" he shouted at them, pointing towards the top of the hill. "Looks like some kinda travel agency!"

"Travel agency?" Braska repeated, leaning on his staff with a look of surprise. "Strange... it should have taken us longer to reach it. The journey through the first half of the plains is usually more than a day long."

"Maybe we got _lucky,_ huh?" Rikku crowed smugly, prompting mutters and tired looks from every single one of her companions. "What?" she asked innocently.

"Can we ask her to go back to normal yet?" Jecht groaned. "Dodgin' lightning is easier than putting up with that," he added, waving vaguely in Rikku's direction.

"Hey, I'm right here, you know," Rikku replied frostily.

"I must admit, I will be somewhat relieved when this journey is over," Braska agreed placidly.

"Hey, not you, too!" Rikku planted her hands on her hips, the cards circling around her head wildly from her obvious agitation.

"Thank Yevon," Auron muttered, turning a pointed look towards Rikku. "Get out of that thing before someone sees you and questions us. What we need now is discretion, not luck."

"Humph, fine, but I'll have you know that I _like_ this dressphere," Rikku replied to him cattily, holding her hand over her belt. She released the magic, and it bled from her body in a rush, almost as quickly as her confidence faded. Lightning roared overhead, and Rikku jumped in surprise - and then slipped against the slick path, dropping to her knees and landing face-first in the mud. She pushed herself up from her prostrate position with a low groan. "I _hate_ that dressphere," she grumbled, trying to slick the mud away from her face.

"I dunno, I could get to like it, especially when it gets these kinda results!" Jecht laughed at her openly, reaching over and caking a finger through some of the mud on her forehead before flicking it back towards her nose. "I always thought you were supposed to wait for the spa before you got the facial."

"Oh, shut up," she yelled, pushing herself to her feet. She whirled on Auron and Braska, fists balled. "And you two! How could you let me go around making a _fool_ of myself like that all day? Ugh, I feel so- ! so- !"

"Dirty?" Jecht offered, shaking his mud-crusted finger off in the rain.

"At least I know where all the bad puns came from," Rikku shot back, glad that the mud mask she was currently wearing would at least hide the hot blush on her cheeks. She stomped forward towards the travel agency, feeling a more than a little foolish and a lot humiliated. A dress sphere based off of _Jecht's_ personality! What had she been _thinking?_

A firm hand on her shoulder stopped her before she got far, and Rikku glanced around to see Auron holding her back. She flushed, remembering clearly each and every one of her spurned attempts to flirt with him during their day-long journey. "Umm... about anything I might have said to you while... uh... _under the influence,_" she mumbled meaningfully. "I'm really, really sorry, okay?" He didn't answer, and Rikku thought her mud mask might start actually cracking off of her face in flakes from the burn in her cheeks. "You could say something!" she squeaked, her colour rising.

"Watching _you_ blush is much more entertaining than watching a false reflection of yourself trying to seduce me." Rikku's blush was temporarily waylaid by surprise as her mouth dropped. Auron released her and let out a low chuckle, then threw a lump of soggy cloth at her. She caught it reflexively and stared at it, bemused.

"Hey, this is my cloak from Bevelle!" she finally said, shaking it out.

"Wear it," Auron instructed her. Then he looked at Braska. "You too."

Braska was already in the process of removing his circlet and replacing it with one of the hooded cloaks they had worn through the snowy fields of Macalania. Rikku allowed herself to be briefly distracted by the sight of his long, brown braid - Braska never showed his hair, at least not normally - before turning back to Auron in confusion.

"The travel agency here is owned by the Al Bhed," Auron explained. Rikku felt a sudden thrill of elation run through her. _Al Bhed!_ She'd nearly forgotten; the Thunder Plains Travel Agency had been one of Rin's first footholds into his wildly successful merchant chain enterprise. She wondered eagerly if a younger version of the man might actually be there himself; he'd only be slightly older than she was at this point. Forgetting the cloak in her hands, she turned her eyes eagerly onto the Agency, already thinking furiously of how she'd greet her fellow kinsmen.

Jecht, who had been listening in, had a slightly less enthusiastic reaction - he simply rolled his eyes and threw up his hands. "Here we go again," he muttered loudly. Then he tilted his head. "But hey, wait. Why would the Al Bhed be runnin' _anything_ for one of Yevon's Pilgrimages?"

"The Summoner's - _Pilgrimage,_" Rikku amended before she could say _Sacrifice,_ "... affects us all. Everyone wants to be free of Sin. Even if we don't like the Church, that doesn't mean we should punish the Summoners." She didn't add that the Thunder Plains was a barren, treacherous and highly unprofitable segment of the Pilgrimage, and that it was more of an amused concession that the Al Bhed were allowed to create a trading station in one of Spira's least desirable spots, rather than an act of true generosity.

Braska, fortunately, came up with a more diplomatic explanation before she had to. "The Al Bhed are responsible for the care and maintenance of the lightning rods that draw the thunder strikes away from this path," he said carefully. "In thanks for their continued service and generosity, the Church of Yevon has offered them the trade rights to the area." Even as he said it, thunder roared overhead, and they all looked up warily.

"Prime piece o' real estate, this here," Jecht observed blandly.

Braska coughed lightly into his long sleeve. "Well... due to certain circumstances, I am not exactly what you might call popular among the Al Bhed." He pulled his hood up, letting it fall over to shade his bright blue eyes. "I believe in this instance, I will allow Auron to handle the negotiations."

"Jecht, you're with me. Rikkma, you stay with Braska," Auron commanded, turning towards the agency. Rikku's mouth dropped open, again, and she clutched the cloak in her fist tightly.

"Hey! Hey wait a second, shouldn't I be the one coming with you? I mean, _hello?_ Who speaks Al Bhed here?" She grit her teeth as Braska sheepishly raised a hand and Auron tilted his head towards her. "I mean who speaks Al Bhed _fluently_?" she added, slightly flustered.

Auron sighed, tapping the sword against his back uneasily. "If you insist, you can accompany me, Rikkma. However I'm surprised that you would be willing to risk identification by your own people. An exiled Al Bhed, on a Pilgrimage with one of Spira's most notorious Summoners," he pointed out.

Rikku's fist clenched in her cloak even as her hopes fell. Of course he was right; _smart_ Auron, _careful_ Auron, _always thinking ahead_ Auron. Just - why did always being wrong have to hurt so bad? Trembling slightly, she dropped her head and slipped the cloak on over herself, pulling up the hood to hide her shock of blonde hair.

Auron said nothing, though his lips were twisted grimly; in sympathy, perhaps, but still uncompromising. "You can both wait for us outside the doors, but try not to be seen until I come out again. They can't turn us away once we've secured the rooms." He regarded her for a moment longer, then swivelled around abruptly. "Jecht," he called, striding towards the Agency. Rikku watched him go with another shiver, wiping a drop of muddy rain off of her nose. _Definitely rain,_ she told herself sternly as she blinked and looked down.

Gradually she noticed a pair of waterlogged robes next to hers. Her eyes followed them upwards to see Braska standing beside her, a tranquil expression on his face as he carefully studied the falling rain. He made no move to follow Auron towards the Travel Agency, preferring instead to face the consuming darkness of the wilderness. Slowly, Rikku followed the path of his gaze, watching lightning arc down across the stormy landscape at regular intervals.

She struggled for words, words of comfort to give to Braska, whom she knew was suffering just as much as she was, if not more. Hers, she knew, was an artificial prison; one fraught with personal risk, but an exile by choice, even if the others didn't realize it. Braska's suffering, on the other hand - that was _real._ She wanted to comfort him, to tell him that he wasn't alone, that the world didn't hate him for who he was, or whom he married. But Spira was a cruel world, and Braska had clear eyes with which to see it. Thunder rolled across the plains, and she reached out and slipped her hand into his. It was cold and limp, and had she not grasped him, it would have fallen out of her grip.

Rikku swallowed. "You still have us," she said softly, reverting to Al Bhed. "Me, Auron, Jecht... and Yuna. We're your family now. We'll always be your family."

Braska inhaled quietly, and he turned his head towards her, his pale blue eyes piercing in their honesty. "Truly?" he quietly replied, also in Al Bhed. "Why, then, can't you tell me your real name?"

Rikku bit her lip, hard. She felt her teeth cut into the soft flesh, felt blood mixing with the flow of rainwater, saliva and mud on her tongue. Even though both were blue, she still thought he had Yuna's eyes. Yuna, to whom she could refuse nothing. And she was tired, as tired of secrets as Braska was of exile.

She opened her mouth and gasped air in deeply through her open lips. She felt a slow trickle of blood leak and rapidly cool on her chin. "My name is -"

Braska silenced her with hand to her lips; the gentle warmth of a healing spell washed across her skin, closing the wound with a quiet whisper. His finger lingered across her bottom lip for a heartbeat too long before he drew it away; even as the tickle of magic faded, Rikku still felt an electric tingle where he had touched. He turned his face away from her.

"I am strong enough to face Sin... to see my own death, to continue to hold Jecht to his ignorance, to abandon my own daughter. But..." His hand suddenly clenched around hers before loosening. "... I do not want to know your real name. I don't think I could bear it, Rikkma. I don't think I could bear to lose her twice."

Rikku blinked rapidly as a particularly spectacular bolt of lightning roared to life before them, striking dangerously close to where they both stood. Neither flinched.

"I'm not your wife," she said softly. "I'm not some pyrefly construct of memories come back to haunt you. You won't have to Send me anywhere."

Braska shuddered faintly. "But you are different, Rikkma. I feel it. I feel it in my soul, I feel it in the aeons who bond with me. I feel it when they gaze at you, when you ask them your silent questions and that part of them which is _not me_ answers."

She stiffened, and he hesitated.

"No," he finally decided. "Don't tell me." Rikku looked at him in surprise, and he gave her a wan smile. "I, too, need my illusions." He began to extract his hand from her grip, and she caught it and held on tightly.

"I meant everything I said. Whatever you might think of me, our friendship isn't an illusion," she whispered fiercely, willing him to believe her. He stared back, but she refused to release him until she saw hope reflected his eyes. "You're not alone," she told him resolutely. "We'll be with you until the end." She shut her eyes. "_All_ of us."

Braska stilled. "Don't promise that," he chastised her mildly, looking away and releasing her hand. "I know what it is to live with your heart torn in two. You don't belong here... you wish to return to your home, wherever that is. My path seeks to bring life to Spira, but I will pay the debt accrued with my own death. If you have the chance to find your own happiness, it's your duty to take it. It's what I wish for you. It's what I ask of all of you, even of Auron. Your paths are not set, not as mine is. I would tell Jecht the same, if we found the chance to send him back to his Zanarkand. Leave, and never turn back to this journey of sorrows."

Rikku dropped her head, feeling ashamed. There was nothing she could say to that; _know yourself,_ Braska had told her earlier. And in her heart, Rikku knew that what he offered then was everything that she really wanted. Hearing it come from his own lips, however, only made it sound selfish.

Braska straightened and then turned to her, his face gentle. "Ah, but I should apologize, Rikkma. Forcing us both to stand in this rain. Come, let's take shelter under the Agency," he said, offering her the crook of his arm. Numbly, Rikku took it and allowed herself to be led to safety.


	20. Fancy Footwork

**- Chapter 20: Fancy Footwork - **

Rikku looked up from her perch on the Agency steps as Jecht stooped over the rough-cut sign. Braska retreated inside to dry off once the blitzer had made his appearance and assured them of the all-clear; she had preferred to remain outside, feeling subdued and uncertain in the summoner's presence. Jecht, thankfully, was as oblivious as ever; his newfound serendipity might have been due in part to the large bottle of Al Bhed _paan_ he was currently nursing. He'd instantly gravitated to the public notice board posted just outside the door.

Bored, but not yet willing to relocate indoors, Rikku kicked her heels against the soggy ground. "What's it say?" she asked.

"Dodge and Win," Jecht read out loud. "Says here the more you dodge, the more you can win. You just gotta register with that hypello inside." He began to smile toothily, quickly polishing off the rest of his drink before tossing it over his shoulder and letting the empty bottle roll down the hillside. Rikku let out a half-hearted squeak of protest, and then shrugged in resigned dismay.

"So are you gonna do it?" she asked curiously.

"Why the hell not?" Jecht replied, pushing his way back into the Agency building. Moments later he emerged again, this time with Auron, Braska and a hypello trailing after him. The hypello paused momentarily upon seeing Rikku, taking in her telling crop of blonde hair and swirling green eyes, then gave a small shrug and continued shuffling out the door as if seeing an Al Bhed on Pilgrimage was an everyday occurrence. Rikku grinned quietly; sometimes she just _loved_ the Hypello.

"Yoo jump the lightning?" the hypello crooned, blinking at Jecht curiously.

"That's right!" Jecht said proudly, thumbing his chest. "Just you watch, I'm gonna win ALL them prizes!" he boasted.

"There are no adoring fans to impress here, Jecht," Rikku pointed out dryly.

Unperturbed, Jecht cricked his neck and rubbed the back of his head. "Who cares? We'll get free stuff, won't we? Just call it pullin' my weight," he said with a semi-guilty shrug. "'Sides, I made Auron buy the beer."

"If just to shut him up," Auron explained sourly. "Before you start playing any more of your ridiculous games, there's something we need to discuss. Alone," he added, shooting a glare over his shoulder at their extra guest. The hypello blinked and shuffled out to the sign, clearly disinterested in whatever it was the four travellers had to talk about.

"Auron!" Rikku hissed, glaring at him. "That was rude!"

Auron shrugged, unconcerned. "Hypellos don't waste time with useless frivolities. Neither do I." He frowned. "However I called this meeting because we have a slight problem."

"Problem?" Braska asked curiously. He had pulled down his hood to replace the circlet on his head, and for a moment Rikku mourned the loss of his thick braid. He seemed smaller and more human without the ritualistic trappings of Yevon that he chose to wear.

"Yes. there's another group of travellers staying at the Agency tonight, and there was only one room available. It will not be... comfortable." All three sets of eyes swivelled to look at Rikku. Jecht was the first to respond with a widening smile.

"Finally," he snorted. "The little princess has to share digs just like the rest of us. Welcome to the real world, Blondie."

Auron glowered at Jecht. "Perhaps we should just let _you_ sleep outside. You are the one who snores, after all."

"It's not a big deal," Rikku said quickly. "I'll sleep on the floor; I'm used to roughing it. In fact, if this works out maybe we can save a little money later on and just bunk up together whenever we stop to rest at an inn. It's not like we don't camp together already, right?"

Braska still looked as if he was on the verge of objecting, but Auron cut off his protest with a firm shake of his head. "They don't have the space and we don't have the money to negotiate. Unless you want to sleep in the rain tonight, it's this or nothing." Thunder cracked, and Rikku found herself nodding quickly.

"Say 'yes' already!" she squeaked.

"Fine, fine, whatever," Jecht said, waving a lazy hand at them as he wandered away from the group. "Just don't pull any of that dress shit on us while the stiff's in range of your claws. It'd get ugly fast." His tone was light, but Rikku paused and wondered, thinking back on Braska's good-luck kiss and odd behaviour outside of the agency. Once again, she found herself wondering how much there really was behind Jecht's seemingly simple demands. _Is he trying to protect Braska?_ She shook her head. No matter what his intentions, Jecht's advice was sound; she didn't need Lady Luck's confidence - or libido - not when she was going to be spending the night all but sandwiched between her three male companions.

"Braska?" Auron asked. The Summoner still looked hesitant, but after a moment of quiet struggle, he sighed and dropped his shoulders.

"It seems we're determined to break every rule on this Pilgrimage, aren't we?" he asked in faint amusement. "Very well. Though I apologize for any harm that may come to your reputation, Rikkma," he said sincerely.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "I'm Al Bhed. I can take a few hits; stop worrying already," she said playfully. Then she bit her lip as Braska looked down quickly and pushed to his feet.

"Do as you will," he said to Auron, before turning away and following Jecht.

There was a moment of silence. Then, Auron spoke.

"Did something happen between you two?" he asked her, almost cautiously.

"He asked me what my name was," Rikku replied as she watched their two companions talking in the rain. "I didn't tell him." She paused. "He didn't really want to know."

Auron remained quiet, silently prodding her to continue. It only took a mere moment to break her indecision; she was confused, and he would listen. _Simple._

"It's just... well, you know, we're here, and it's _Al Bhed_, and I thought maybe I could cheer him up, but it backfired, and then he asked about me, and then he thought I was unsent, and then I cut myself and he healed it and told me to run away if I could but I think he was really asking me to stay and I don't know anything anymore!" Rikku gasped out in one long breath. Then she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. "Except that he's sad. He doesn't want to be alone, but he doesn't want to hurt us... and he definitely wants to -" She choked. "... to fight Sin," she finished lamely.

"He won't be alone," Auron assured her after a brief silence. "I will remain by his side until the end."

"That's what I told him!" Rikku exploded. "I told him we'd all be there for him, but he didn't want us to be. It's like he's already _dead_ inside!"

Auron was silent, his face grave. Then he spoke, rather gently, all things considered. "He was right to tell you so. You can't promise anything for the others. You can't always promise things of yourself," he added. "Would you deny Jecht the chance to reunite with his wife and son for Braska's sake? Would you really want to take that choice away from him?"

Rikku scowled. _But he won't leave,_ she wanted to say. _He can't leave._ Stumped and frustrated, she let out an angry snort and dropped her head onto her knees. "Don't say a word," she groaned into her kneecaps. "I know you're right already, so don't rub it in." She listened the faint strain of voices blending together with the falling rain as Braska, Jecht and the hypello conversed, and realized with a sharp pang how much she hated this Pilgrimage. Not for the first time, she found herself wishing that Bahamut would have also stolen her memories, not just her future. It was easier to worship legends from afar; getting to know them was fraught with all sorts of dangers that she hadn't expected. The desire to change time, to change history itself pulled at her; the ever-present horror of Sin's ravages reminded her of what that bit of selfishness would ultimately cost.

_I'm going to miss them,_ she thought bitterly. _And it's going to hurt more than watching Tidus and Auron leave the last time._ Suddenly lonely, Rikku lifted her head and went scrabbling through her pack. Auron eyed her cautiously, wary of the sudden burst of energy she was displaying so quickly after her obvious deflation. Intent on her mission, she ignored him and pulled out another one of their blank spheres. "For making memories," she said quickly as Auron reflexively jerked back.

"I am still uncomfortable with those... things," he admitted to her.

Rikku frowned. "But you don't believe that they suck your soul or anything anymore, do you?"

Auron pursed his lips in thought. "I do find myself re-evaluating many of my previous superstitions," he told her. "But old habits are hard to break."

Smiling, Rikku offered him the empty sphere. "Now's a good time to start, don't you think?" she nudged. "You said it yourself. Pilgrimages! New beginnings! And think of it, this could be the start of your brand new superstar career in reporting!"

Auron reluctantly accepted the sphere from her with a sceptical expression. "Hnn," he grunted in reply.

"... or not," Rikku added with a small laugh. "I think star reporters need to have more than a three-syllable vocabulary."

Ignoring her in favour of studying the sphere, Auron jabbed at it cautiously with a fingertip. "Leave the editorials and just tell me how they work," he grumbled.

Smiling, Rikku began to point out the recording controls. "You press this darker part here to activate the recording," she began, motioning towards a specific spot on the sphere.

"Like this?" Auron queried, pressing his thumb roughly into the fragile glass. With a squeak of dismay, Rikku reached over and grabbed his hand before he could shatter the sphere completely.

"Not so tight!" she scolded him, gently repositioning his fingers. "Spheres can take a lot of abuse, but they're not exactly blitzballs. You have to be a little careful!" Frowning, she leaned in closer and covered his hand with her own; she marvelled at how much larger it was than hers. Even alive and warm, his skin was still ghostly pale by comparison. Feeling abruptly shy, Rikku stilled her blush and carefully adjusted his grip on the sphere, wondering why Auron wasn't objecting, or at the least delivering some sort of scathing retort about her teaching abilities and the sanctity of his personal space. Not that she doubted the former; it was more that brutal critique was something she had come to expect from the other man. His silence, she was finding, was much more unnerving than his sarcasm.

Clearing her throat uneasily, Rikku slid her hands away from his. "You have to leave room for the sphere to capture the images you want to record, too," she managed to say, proud that her voice hadn't completely deserted her. "Try to cover as little of the surface as possible with your grip. And face the brighter side forward."

"Like this?" Auron finally said, turning the sphere around in his hands carefully.

"Yeah, exactly!" Rikku gushed, pleased at his quick adaptation to the foreign technology, but moreover relieved that he wasn't commenting on her strange behaviour. A small part of her was glad that he was either dense or blatantly unwilling to pick up on her obvious discomfort. "Just press that spot to start recording. You can pick anything, really. Wait, I got it! Why don't you try recording Braska? You know, for Yunie!"

"Hnn," Auron grunted in reply, standing and aiming the sphere towards the man in question. He paused, his forehead wrinkling as he observed the tableau before him. "What in Yevon's name is he doing?" he asked suddenly.

Confused, Rikku looked at Braska. Comprehension dawned as she stared over the summoner's shoulder and saw Jecht hopping from one foot to the other under the open sky. He lifted a telling finger to the rolling clouds overhead with a cocky grin. "Oh, that," she responded with a bored sigh. "Jecht's trying to see how many lightning hits he can take before his hair will burn off."

Auron snorted. "I knew I shouldn't have bought him that _paan,_" he swore. "Your people's beer makes Yevon's holy wine seem like rosewater," he added. "He doesn't need the lightning to lose his hair. Just give him another few bottles of that poison and it'll fall out on its own."

Rikku shrugged; it wasn't as though she was about to deny anything Auron had just said. Al Bhed beer was almost as world-famous as their technology. It was actually still considered a controlled substance in Bevelle. "Hey, tough people need tough drinks. Besides, it happens to be a handy fuel replacement if you find yourself in a tight situation. Always practical, that's another one of our mottos!" she cheered.

"And Spira finally discovers the true cause of your unique pupils," Auron sniped with some amusement as they watched Jecht leap away a bit too slowly from yet another lightning strike to land sprawled on his back. "At least it should numb some of that pain."

Rikku waved the other man's apparent shock-injury off. "Look, Braska's healing him already. He'll be fine!" she added. "I think."

They noticed that Jecht had already picked himself up off the ground and was approaching the observant hypello with a look of pleasure. There was some kind of exchange, and then Jecht was handing Braska a few bottles of what appeared to be hi-potions. Sensing Auron's curiosity, Rikku piped up.

"It's a contest," she explained. "Dodge-the-lightning, or something like that. You can win prizes," she added.

"Hmm, so he can be useful after all," Auron mused.

Privately, Rikku agreed. Supplies were a precious commodity they couldn't afford to turn down, and frankly she didn't think Auron would be fast enough to avoid the lightning on his own. Braska's heavy robes wouldn't have helped either; besides that, he was their Summoner. There was something inside of her that just rebelled at the thought of allowing their leader to willingly electrocute himself while his Guardians stood by and watched. Which left only her or Jecht to do the jumping. And there was no way in Spira - scratch that, in the entire _Farplane_ - that she was going to start lightning-dodging for fun.

Finally noticing his audience, Jecht enthusiastically waved them over. "Hoo-ie!" he yelled, shaking his shaggy mane of hair and sending fat water droplets flying. "Did'ya see that? I'm gonna nab that 200-dodge prize in no time flat!"

Rikku's mouth dropped open. "200?" she yelled. "Are you nuts?" The last time anyone had tried to dodge that much lightning, it had been Tidus accepting the Agency's challenge. Afterwards, he hadn't needed to use Wakka's hair gel for days. They'd only gotten him to relent after Lulu agreed to do the prize jumping, much to everyone's surprise - until they saw her sending out one of her stuffed cactaurs into the rain in Tidus' place. She'd kept the hard-won prize to herself, too, after all that, not that anyone had dared to question her. Even Tidus knew better than to pester a mage with a cactaur that crackled lightning needles.

"I'm not crazy, I'm good," Jecht replied confidently. "And I want you to get this on the record," he added, noting the sphere in Auron's hands. "For the fans!" he added, thumbing his chest.

"What fans?" Auron asked smugly.

"Well I can name at least one, 'bout seven years old. I think you might know her," Jecht answered pointedly.

"C'mon, you said you wanted to try it!" Rikku added blithely, ignoring the fact that technically he hadn't actually _said_ anything. Silence without protest was just as good as implicit agreement in her book, prompting her to give Auron a nudge with her elbow. "Look, you've got a willing audience, too!"

With a patient sigh, Auron shook his head in disbelief and pressed his thumb against the sphere. Instantly, it began glowing with the telltale soft blue light; he flinched, but managed not to drop it. Cautiously, he swung the sphere around, peering through the murky blue waters as Rikku had instructed him earlier.

"Hey! Hold it steady!" Jecht shouted at him.

Auron rolled his eyes. "Why am I doing this?" he ground out to Rikku, his thumb moving over the button once more. The light of the sphere died out abruptly, and Jecht let out a yell of protest.

"Aww c'mon Auron, I haven't even started yet!" Seeing how little effect his words were having, he turned to beseech Rikku instead. "Blondie! Make him do it right!"

Rikku sighed and crossed her arms. "Auron," she muttered under her breath. "I didn't teach you all that stuff about spheres for my health, you know."

"This is completely ridiculous," Auron replied in a disgusted voice, trying to push the sphere back onto her. "It's nothing more than child's play and a waste of our time."

"It's not a waste of time!" Rikku replied instantly and a little too loudly. Noticing Jecht and Braska's stares - the hypello was still rather ostensibly oblivious to their banter - she toned the volume down quickly. "Maybe it _is_ child's play," she hissed at Auron. "But just who do you think these spheres are for, anyway? Jecht? Braska? Think again!"

Auron fell silent, glaring at the sphere in his hand. Finally, with a sigh, he looked up. Catching a glimpse of Braska's profile seemed to cement his decision, and resolutely, he fingered the sphere controls once more. Jecht let out a whoop of victory, but Auron ignored him, focusing the sphere on Braska instead. The summoner was pensively studying the rolling thunderclouds in the distance once again, his face just as shuttered as it had been when he had spoken to Rikku earlier.

"What do you see there, my lord?" he asked quietly.

Braska turned and stared in faint surprise as he observed the glowing sphere in Auron's hands. His eyes flicked to Rikku briefly, and then a thoughtful smile stretched across his lips. "Oh, I was just... thinking," he replied.

Rikku shivered, feeling the mood dampen from Braska's melancholy more quickly than all the rain in the Thunder Plains could manage. She felt her fists clenching and forced herself to look away. Thankfully, Jecht was more than willing to provide a much-needed distraction, whether he knew it or not.

"Hey hey hey! This is important!" Jecht hollered at Auron over the sound of rolling thunder. "No foolin' around," he added, glancing up at the sky in anticipation. "You're gonna spoil it!"

Auron spun the sphere around just as the lighting struck; there was a bright flash, then - "Whoa!" - and the all-too-familiar smell of singed hair was rising above the acrid scent left in the lightning's aftermath. Blinking, Rikku sought out Jecht's figure; he was slowly sitting up from where the blast had thrown him, shaking his head. If she squinted, she thought she could see a little smoke coming out of his ears. Braska was already moving towards him, the next healing spell issuing from his lips.

"Are you all right?" he asked, kneeling by Jecht until the other man's eyes came back into focus. Auron, who had also approached, was much less sympathetic.

"Now there's a scene for posterity!" he interjected in a smug tone.

Jecht looked up in irritation, rubbing his head. "Yeah, yeah..." he grunted as Braska laughed. "Just stop that thing and give it to me already, alright?"

In an unusual show of charity, Auron shrugged and allowed Jecht to have the sphere without argument. "Not much of a display for your fans," he observed. "Unless you're trying to lose them."

Jecht scrambled to his feet and tossed the sphere to Rikku, who caught it by reflex and stared at it dumbly. "I'm not making a new costume out of this," she flatly declared.

"Much as we'd love to see that," Jecht replied amidst the groans, "it ain't for you. Just put it with my stuff. I'll give it to my boy later. I bet he'll like seeing that," he added gruffly. Suddenly embarrassed, he straightened and rubbed the back of his head. "I'll make another one for Yuna, you'll see!"

"Perhaps later," Braska added, still smiling faintly. He nodded at the hypello, who was already shuffling towards the Agency doors. "It has been a long day. I think it's time for all of us to retire to dry rooms and warm food."

"As long as the _paan_ ain't warm, too," Jecht added eagerly.

Rikku scowled. Not that she didn't appreciate Jecht's good humour, but his addiction was, as Auron had delicately put it, worrisome. "How about not including any _paan_ at all?" she suggested.

Jecht snorted as he brushed by her, and Auron stopped by her side. "We can argue this point later," he murmured to her in a low undertone. "Braska is exhausted, we all need rest."

With a reluctant nod of concession, Rikku sighed and followed the others inside.

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku flinched and wiped some sweat from her brow, trying her best to ignore the fine hairs that were standing up on the back of her neck. Those were due mostly to Braska's unerring gaze; at least, he was staring every time she had snuck a glance to look at him. She didn't even think he had bothered to blink; it was a little creepy. Well, _a lot_ creepy. She had the feeling that most of the time that he was staring, he wasn't even really seeing her. Part of her had wanted to snap at him, as she would have at Jecht or Auron, had they been doing the same. Their presence, however, forced her pride to retreat into silence, unwilling to display any signs of overt discomfort in front of the others.

They'd retired to their depressingly small room soon after entering the Agency; the frosty reception Braska had received was enough to drive the entire group from the Common Room in a show of Pilgrimage solidarity. And cowardice - or caution, as Rikku preferred to call it - on her part; she kept her hood and her head down, careful to hide any sign of her outfit or colouring that might have hinted at her Al Bhed origins from the innkeepers. Braska was a convenient, if a bit unfortunate, distraction. And, to Rikku's great relief, Rin was also not there. Belatedly, she remembered that he had been trying to open a shop at the foot of Mount Gagazet. The Ronso were a proud, stern people, however, and the contract had taken months to finalize. And it wouldn't be, she realized with a twisting in her gut, until Braska's Pilgrimage was over.

The chamber had turned out to be larger than expected, but still a shade too small for comfort. With only two beds to share, Braska had insisted that Rikku claim one - over Jecht's loud protest, of course - while Auron had relegated the unresisting summoner to the other. The remaining bedrolls were spread between them, and a moody silence broken only by the occasional thunderclap settled on the group. Even Jecht was more subdued than usual, despite his easy access to alcohol; it wasn't hard to see why. With the washed out grey lighting of the plain walls and perpetual darkness surrounding them outside, the small room reminded her a little too strongly of the prison cells they'd shared in Bevelle.

If she could have escaped to the Common Room, she would have. And more strongly than ever before, Rikku felt the grip of shame overtake her; shame for her family and her people. They, the Al Bhed, who had been wronged by Yevon for too many years, had grown so used to the prejudice and hatred that they had unwittingly taken to heart the very lessons they claimed to abhor. It cut her to the quick to see Braska suffer their hostile stares needlessly, and a small whisper of conscience viciously reminded her that once, she herself had been no different from the Agency personnel. _But I am different now... aren't I?_ she thought, trying to focus on the work at hand. She hoped so.

When Auron left the room to gather food for a frugal evening repast, Jecht had trailed after him with a somewhat more lascivious intent to seek out a specific choice Al Bhed beverage. That had left Rikku alone with Braska, and she had instantly busied herself with the duty of synthesizing some of the hard-earned loot onto their equipment. It was difficult to keep her concentration on the delicate metalwork needed to graft her materials onto Auron's bracer; her mind kept straying to Braska's distant look, and the feel of his gentle fingertips on her lips. She blinked and stared at the bracer in her hands.

_I like Auron,_ she told herself firmly.

"You're afraid of lightning," Braska said suddenly, breaking the monotonous silence. Rikku flinched and looked up. At least the misty, distracted expression was starting to fade; she supposed an uncomfortable interrogation was still better than Braska's distance. He gave her an appeasing smile at her wary expression; "I don't mean to criticize. Actually, I'm rather impressed. You're afraid of the lightning, but still you managed to overcome your fear."

"Same as you," Rikku replied without thinking. Her eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth as Braska looked away quickly. "I - uh, I mean..."

"You would paint me a hero," Braska said quietly. "I thank you for that. But it's not quite true yet. I don't know that I'll pass the final trial when the time comes," he admitted.

Rikku felt her eyebrows lifting. "Auron doesn't doubt you," she said neutrally.

"He's a good man," Braska answered just as neutrally.

Rikku nodded mutely. Didn't she have this conversation with Auron already? _I didn't like it then, either,_ she thought. She fiddled with the bracer. "Um, listen. I don't mean any disrespect here, but, uh. If you're going to say what I think you're going to say, could you maybe just not say it?" Braska looked surprised at her outburst, and Rikku pressed her advantage. "Just because I'm the only female on this Pilgrimage doesn't mean you have some kind of duty to hook me up with Auron," she sighed. "And it doesn't mean he has the right to force me on you! What if I don't like either of you that way?" she asked bluntly.

Braska gave her an amused smile, and Rikku suddenly felt transparent. Feeling her cheeks turn red, she focused intently on the gauntlet.

"Well, okay, but let's say neither of you like _me_ that way?" she grumbled.

Braska sighed slightly. "I'm fairly sure I can assuage at least some of those fears," he told her carefully. "But," he added quickly, holding up a hand as Rikku stiffened, "I take it you mean that Auron is not returning your affections the way you want him to. Still, you shouldn't give up all hope."

Rikku's frantic polishing of the bracer slowed down fractionally. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked, looking up at Braska. "I mean, don't you, umm... well, you know, you... and me, and well your wife and all," she said in a rush, forcing herself to meet his eyes.

The corners of Braska's eyes crinkled as he smiled at her. "Seeing you here is a great inspiration to me, Rikkma. I'm trying to overcome my own doubts and fears. I think of it as a challenge. One I must overcome."

"Oh," Rikku said, deflating slightly as she mulled over his words. Braska feared falling in love, that much she could gather. Maybe he feared he would forget his love for his wife - the same unshakable emotion that had provided the foundation for his Pilgrimage and the iron will that drove it inexorably forward. _Well, pardon me for not helping you figure out less painful ways to kill yourself there,_ was what she stubbornly wanted to tell him. _That would be really dumb to say that out loud,_ Rikku thought. _Really, really dumb. It would be like taking Yuna's Gunner sphere and practicing Trigger on myself. Yep, it would definitely be a disasterrific thing to say to Braska right now._ She bit down on her tongue to keep any sharp retorts from spilling out, just in case.

Braska frowned at her. "You shouldn't hurt yourself that way," he warned her. "Unless you want me to heal it again."

Rikku released her tongue instantly, her face turning bright red, and Braska dropped his gaze. The ensuing silence wasn't only pregnant, it was having _triplets._

"My intents are pure, but at times I find my will lacking," he finally murmured. "I apologize for my... indelicacy. Please, let us forget it for the moment and continue our conversation," he said pleasantly.

Rikku winced; Al Bhed were almost brutally honest and always outspoken when it came to their emotions. She could see why Braska would have generated such irritation within her family during his visit and subsequent courtship of Raenn. "Umm, sure," she said cautiously. "Just... leave off the Auron bits off for now. Let's talk about something else instead, okay?"

Braska seemed relieved at her acceptance of their charade, and Rikku smiled uncomfortably. "Tell me... how did you overcome your fear of lightning? As inspiring as I would like to think this Pilgrimage may be, I suspect we are not to blame for your courage."

Rikku couldn't help but laugh a little at that; "Courage?" she giggled. "Umm, not really. You should've seen me the first time I came here! I grabbed onto my friend's leg and wouldn't let go no matter how much he tried to shake me off! Afterwards, the others told me I looked like a desperate monkey. I was so scared I didn't even care." Rikku bit her lip and stifled another laugh. "Eventually one of my friends got fed up with it and suggested that I camp out here for a week." That would've been putting it nicely. After one particularly embarrassing brush with a Larvae during a sphere hunt and their subsequent loss to LeBlanc, Paine had privately threatened to skewer her if she didn't get over her astraphobia. Rikku was grateful that the taciturn warrior hadn't ever actually told soft-hearted Yuna just how much of that camping trip had been inspired by sword point rather than personal bravery. The end result was the same, after all.

"I see," Braska was saying. "You seem rather well-travelled," he observed.

"Oh!" Rikku fidgeted nervously. "Well, yeah, I guess you could say that," she admitted. She smiled in relief as the door to the room slammed open and Auron stomped in, balancing a tray of food in one hand and a tight grip on Jecht's arm in the other. "Dinner!" she cheered, grateful for the distraction.

"Get in there and stay in there," Auron growled, shoving the other man towards his bedroll.

"But -" Jecht was saying, his voice pitching to a near-whine.

"You are NOT dodging lightning for _paan,_" Auron ground out. "Don't make me repeat myself. I promise that you'll regret it." He slammed the tray of food onto the small table pushed up against the wall, sending soup slopping over the sides of the bowls. "Your dinner," he told the others darkly. "If the soup seems a little thin, it's only because our brilliant companion over here overshot our budget with his addiction."

"Hey, I didn't know I'd drunk that much!" Jecht protested helplessly. Auron glowered at him. Jecht shrugged and reached for one of the bowls, but Auron thunked his sword heavily onto the floor, cutting off Jecht's progress before he could reach the food.

"Not for you," Auron grunted, his eyes narrowing. "If you want to sustain yourself on beer, that's your choice. But you will not steal nourishment from the mouths your companions as well."

Jecht slouched back onto his bedroll and sulked openly.

Braska sighed and shook his head slightly, ignoring the two bickering men and claiming his bowl of soup; Rikku followed him in turn. It was only after Auron had also procured his own bowl and they begun their meal that Braska broke the silence. "So then," he said to Rikku, putting down his spoon. "Are you a blitzball player, by chance?"

Rikku choked on her soup.

Jecht snorted loudly, leaning off the wall and hunching over his bent knees indolently. "What, _her?_ Are you kiddin' me?" he laughed. "Look at them skinny little arms! I bet she couldn't even toss a blitzball across a sphere pool!"

Insulted, Rikku sniffed loudly. "Shut up! I so can play blitzball! I'll have you know I'm one of the best blockers in the league! Nobody intercepts like the Rikkmanator!"

Auron frowned. "I don't remember seeing you in league games before," he said suspiciously.

Rikku blushed. "Well, I, uh, I don't play professionally. You know, falling out with the Al Bhed and all that," she said quickly. She didn't think Auron was buying her story, but fortunately the mere mention of blitzball was enough to whet Jecht's interest.

"No kiddin'! You, a blizter! Who would've thunk it?" Jecht muttered. "What position do you play?" he asked suspiciously.

Rikku stuck her tongue out at Jecht. "I prefer backside defence, but I don't really care which side I play," she answered. "Oh ye of little faith! I bet I could block some of your passes!"

"But not my shots," Jecht bragged.

Rikku snorted. "Well, if you wouldn't knock the defenders unconscious with a ball to the head, we might have more of a chance," she said sarcastically. "I swear, the Jecht Shot is the worst thing to ever happen to blitzball!"

Jecht stared at her. "How would you know? I ain't never done a Jecht Shot on you," he muttered, squinting at her.

"My friend Paine practiced the Mark III on me once, and that was more than enough," she groaned.

"There's a chick doing my shot?!" Jecht yelled. "There ain't nobody who can do a Jecht shot! That's why it's called the _Jecht_ shot!"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better," she sang with a smirk. It dropped after a moment of consideration. "Y'know, I don't think you'd get away with calling Paine a chick, either. She might not look it, but I bet she's got more muscles than you," she added. "And _she_ knows how to wield her sword."

Jecht snorted. "Sounds like Auron's dream girl to me," he grunted. "Even got the right name."

Rikku blinked rapidly and came out of her fantasy. She snuck a glance at Auron, who up until then had silently endured the conversation. Now he was glaring at Jecht once more. She bit her lip. Was it because Jecht was right? Paine was the serious type, and so was Auron. And she was a fighting machine - you only had to look at her in Full Throttle mode to see that much. Was that the kind of girl Auron would go for? A warrior? She cringed even while mentally kicking herself for not having grabbed the warrior dressphere for her journey.

"Don't presume to know anything about me or my tastes," Auron grunted. "Especially when you yourself apparently have none," he added with a disgusted curl of his lip. He deliberately focused on eating the rest of his soup, his stiff posture daring Jecht to make another comment at his own peril.

"Hit a nerve, did I?" Jecht replied, undaunted. "Well if I'm so wrong, why don't you tell us what you like in a woman, eh? I'm sure we'd all love to hear it." Apparently the beer feud he had lost was still fresh in his memory. Or the _paan_ was running strongly enough in his blood to make him forget caution. Tension in the room suddenly skyrocketed, and Auron dropped his spoon into his bowl with a loud clatter.

"Jecht, shut up," Rikku hissed urgently.

"Hey, I'm just tryin' to help you out here!" Jecht snorted.

"You call this helpful?" Rikku squeaked, her face heating with both rage and embarrassment.

"Rikkma." Braska's voice effectively snapped the emotional wires that had grown dangerously taut between them. "How did you manage to travel so far, if not through professional blitzing?"

Her fury deflating in a rush, Rikku blushed and smiled at Braska gratefully. "I've... uh... been on some trips." Her relief faded as Braska tilted his head thoughtfully.

"The Al Bhed usually travel in numbers for safety. And... as much as it pains me to say this, they wouldn't necessarily be welcome in certain places, no matter how large or small their group might be." He paused, and Rikku smiled at him with a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. Braska was good at defusing tense situations... but at the moment, she was more concerned with the cost of their latest truce. "The only two exceptions of this rule which come to mind are the professional Blitzball League... and Pilgrimages, of course."

Auron was now paying complete attention to the conversation, and looking at Rikku sharply.

"I... um... well, I... huh, you know it's funny, but -"

"You've been on Pilgrimage before," Braska said finally, surprise registering in his voice. He only had to look at her with those blue, blue Yuna eyes, and Rikku found herself nodding miserably, quite against her will. She could feel Auron's stare burning into her. "Who was your summoner?" Braska was asking.

Rikku bit her lip and studied her hands, trying to maintain her outward poise. Inwardly, her mind was racing in panicked circles and tearing at her hair_. I need to name a summoner, and quick! But who's a summoner they'd believe?_ A flash of inspiration struck her; _what about Lulu's old summoner? Lady Ginnem, wasn't that her name?_ She opened her mouth to spit out the answer, and froze. But what if Lady Ginnem hadn't even started on her Pilgrimage yet? Or worse yet, what if she _had?_ Would Braska had heard of her? _No,_ she thought, booting Ginnem's name out the metaphorical window. _C'mon, Rikku, thinkthinkthink!_ She blinked suddenly; what about the other summoner they'd met on Yuna's Pilgrimage? The dead one? She'd said she was the guardian of a forgotten temple. What was her name again? _Belgie... Bella..._

"Belgemine!" Rikku blurted out in triumph. She blinked and quickly moderated her tone. "Lady Belgemine, I mean," she repeated sedately. "She was... unique." _Ain't that the truth, _Rikku thought privately.

"Belgemine," Braska was repeating thoughtfully. "Strange, I've never come across that name in my studies before."

Rikku bit her lip. "That's because her Pilgrimage failed," she said quietly. "At the Calm Lands." At least that much was truthful. Her words had an immediate and profound effect on Auron and Braska; their expressions grew sober at her revelation.

"Failed?" Jecht repeated dumbly. "What, like she didn't pass a test?"

"... something like that," Rikku repeated quietly. In a strange way, she had liked Belgemine despite her eccentricities. She wasn't in the mood to pander her story for a _paan_-buzzed Jecht; it seemed too disrespectful.

"It means she died in the Calm Lands, Jecht," Braska carefully answered for her.

"Hold up a minute there, _died?_" Jecht said, sitting up straight. He gave Rikku a confused, helpless look. "But weren't you her Guardian?"

Auron slammed his bowl of soup on the floor loudly, nearly cracking the ceramic. "_Shut up,_ Jecht," he echoed her earlier command between clenched teeth. For once it was a relief to see such serious displeasure directed at someone besides herself; it was actually a little embarrassing to consider that maybe - just maybe - he was getting so worked up on her behalf.

It took a few more extremely awkward moments for Jecht to process the command. "But if Blondie here was her Guardian, and she died, then wouldn't that mean she - oh. _Oh!_ Ooooh..."

Auron was looking angrier by the syllable, and Braska for once didn't seem to be coming to the hapless blitzer's rescue. Rikku, for her part, tried to act like a disheartened, emotionally scarred Guardian who had failed at her duty as best she could. It wasn't that hard, considering she really did have plenty of scarring Guardian experience; still, it felt a little uncomfortable claiming so sensitive a role when it wasn't really hers to play. _At least,_ she thought wryly, _this will throw Auron and Braska off the scent for a little while._

"It's all right," she finally ventured, taking pity on Jecht, who was now pulling at his hair and looking no better than a whipped chocobo. "It was a long time ago."

"You must have been so young," Braska commiserated with a note of sorrow in his voice.

"Fifteen," Rikku admitted honestly. "But you know... if I had to do it all over again knowing what I do now," - she smiled wryly at this - "I guess I still would."

She looked at the three men, smiling faintly, and gave herself a firm nod. Some of the tension, at least, had eased within herself - whether because of her unexpected reprieve in the form of Belgemine's convenient Pilgrimage, or simply because the words she'd said had sounded so _right._ Whatever it was, Rikku was content to let the troubles they had stirred lie; flopping onto her bed, she shut her eyes and tried to ignore the rumbling of the storm outside.

"We're all tired. Let's just stop arguing about this and get some rest," she said out loud.

Auron grunted in agreement, but she felt his gaze lingering on her even though her eyes were closed. She forced herself not to shiver and wondered how long it would be before he sniffed out her latest in the huge tapestry of lies she was weaving together. The strange, complete confidence she placed in him - that _he,_ of all of them, would figure it out in a matter of time - almost made her smile. She cracked her eyes open, and to his credit he managed to not look surprised when she met his stare.

"Thanks," she mouthed. His own eyebrows lifted in slight surprise at her acknowledgement - with all the confrontation crackling in the room, doubtless he'd expected her to add to the tension. The lines on his face softened minutely, and for Rikku it was even better than one of his wry smiles. She stomped out the guilty mental droning of her prophecies of doom and gloom and rolled to her side instead, content to lull herself to sleep with Auron's expression firmly lodged at the forefront of her mind. The way he had looked at her just then had been relaxed, and more importantly, _honest_ - and it comforted her that at least one of them could be this time around.

_**AN:**__ Thanks once again to Fwe for all the beta-reading!_


	21. Shocked

**- Chapter 21: Shocked -**

Morning dawned early and as bright as it could possibly get in the Thunder Plains, which, honestly speaking, was not very much at all. Rikku quietly rolled out of the bed, feeling energized (and maybe just a little bit intimidated) by the huge crack of lightning that had pulled her from her light slumber. She glanced around the room - Braska was sleeping heavily, as usual, in his bed, a peaceful expression on his face. Rikku scowled; it wasn't fair that he was able to sleep through the thunderous noise of the ongoing natural concert outside. Glancing towards her feet, she saw Auron was also still asleep, snoring lightly into his bedroll. His face was slack, completely relaxed for once, and Rikku couldn't help but smile. He looked even younger than before, and she had to quell an urge to push one of the stray strands of hair away from his face. A smile played at her lips; despite their frequent disagreements over the course of the Pilgrimage, he still hadn't tucked away the two long fronds she'd prodded him to let out during their trial in Bevelle. Auron really did seem to be doing his best to discourage any and all of her attempts at flirting with him, but the fact that he had yet to change his hairstyle bolstered her confidence. _I'll wear him down yet,_ Rikku thought to herself with a tiny grin.

Biting her lip, she carefully stepped over him and tiptoed towards the door. Closing it softly behind her, she made her way towards the common room. It was bleak and nearly empty, lit only by the natural thunderstorm, a few candles, and the weak, bluish light from the sphere stand set up in the corner. A figure hunched over one of the tables caught her attention; coming closer, one Rikku recognized as it swayed unsteadily.

"Jecht!" she whispered, approaching him swiftly. The figure burped and sat up straighter, blinking owlishly at her. Then he grinned sheepishly.

"'ey there Blondie. What time is it?" he grumbled, wiping at his bleary eyes.

"Too early to be drinking that," Rikku replied, eyeing the empty bottles of beer scattered around the table. Seating herself at the table, she cleared a few of them away and pinned Jecht under a worried stare. "Umm... you know... are you sure you should be drinking that much?"

Jecht's grin faded into a scowl and with a defiant grimace, he downed the undoubtedly warm and flat remains of the bottle clutched in his hand. After he'd swallowed, he eyed her right back. "Needed a little support after all that dodgin'," he grumped. Then his expression brightened, and he reached back and fumbled for something in his pocket. "But hey, take a look at this!" Finding what he was searching for, Jecht withdrew the small, cloth-wrapped object and threw it onto the table. It landed with a heavy thunk, parting the cloth surrounding it, and immediately Rikku sucked in her breath.

"Where'd you get this?" Rikku breathed, carefully pulling the rest of the cloth away and inspecting the heavy runic symbol hidden within its folds. There was no mistaking what the object was, though Rikku had to admit she'd never laid eyes on it before. Even if she hadn't known what it was, the sheer power of the magic aura trapped inside of the small lump of metal was enough to set her teeth on edge. "This... this is a celestial sigil!"

"Celestial sigil?" Jecht repeated, staring at the crest. "All I know is that they gave it to me after 200," he said. "Actually, they seemed kinda glad t'be rid of it." He passed his hand over the metal, stroking it absently, and Rikku shivered. That wasn't any surprise; no one could really be comfortable around one of the mysterious, holy artefacts that comprised the true power of a Celestial weapon - no one except the rightful owner of such a sigil. It was said the weapons chose their own masters - that they would appear, revealing themselves to warriors destined for greatness, only breaking apart and becoming lost to obscurity once more when the life of their owner ended as well. From the way Jecht was carelessly handling the thing, seemingly ignorant of the waves of energy it radiated, it looked as though the weapon had chosen him to become its next master. That, or he truly was drunk enough to be oblivious.

"Trust me, it's just... really rare," Rikku breathed, itching to take a closer look at the thing despite the chills it sent up her spine. "Can I touch it?"

Jecht snorted. "'Course you can." He tossed it towards her and Rikku caught it with a gasp. Turning the precious object slowly in her hand, she inspected the runes and symbols worked into the metal, trying to determine its origin. A trident-shaped mark embossed on the surface of the sigil caught her eye, and Rikku rubbed her thumb over it slowly.

"Neptune," she finally breathed. "This is the Neptune Sigil." Grinning eagerly, she held up the sigil for Jecht to inspect, pointing out the symbol she had found.

"Whazzat supposed to mean?" Jecht asked, his eyes already half-closing as his head began a slow descent towards the tabletop. Rikku kicked him fiercely in the shins, causing him to jerk upright and blink. "Ow! Damn! Alright, Neptune Sigil, I got it! So what's the big deal about it anyway?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "It's just special, okay? You need to hang onto this. Don't give it to anyone else, don't lose it, and most of all..." here she paused, eyeing the evidence scattered across the tabletop, "don't sell it for booze!"

Jecht yawned. "Well, if it's so damn special, why don't you hang onto it for now?"

Dropping the sigil quickly as though it burned - in a way it did - Rikku shook her head and pushed it back across the table. "It's yours, Jecht. Your responsibility. You keep it."

"Huh. Fine," he grumbled, shoving the object back into his pocket sloppily. "Don't see what's so special 'bout the damn thing anyhow."

"Maybe one day when you're sober you'll find out." To this Jecht gave a grunt, and Rikku rolled her eyes. "Just keep your eyes open for this symbol, Jecht. If you find something else that looks like this, don't ask questions. Trust me, just grab it!"

Groaning, Jecht leaned back in his chair and stretched lazily. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, Braska and Big Red up yet?"

Rikku picked at her fingers nervously, peering at Jecht through her lowered eyelashes. "Not really." She paused, swallowing; this was a conversation she really, _really_ hadn't planned on and didn't want to have with Jecht. "Listen, Jecht, we gotta talk..."

"We're talkin'," Jecht said, though he did allow the legs of the chair he'd been leaning back in to hit the ground with a thump. The tone of her voice must have caught his attention because now he seemed to be fully awake, regarding her with a touch of curiosity. "You gonna tell me somethin' about my boy?" he asked.

"No," Rikku hummed, winding her fingers around each other nervously. "This is about you, not Tidus. Umm, well... you and your monkey, I mean."

Jecht stared at her, his face slack. "I don't own no monkey," he finally said slowly. "You, uh, you havin' another one of them crazy-attacks, Rikkma?"

Rikku rolled her eyes and separated her hands, slamming her fist down on the table. The motion made the bottles jump; one of the precariously balanced bottles slid off the edge and shattered on the floor. Rikku flinched and directed an angry glare at Jecht. "I don't mean a pet monkey, Jecht. I mean the one on your back." When Jecht started to turn, she slapped the table again. "I didn't mean LITERALLY!" she screeched.

"Well what the hell are you goin' on about? Monkeys and Neptune Sigils and all this shit? Talk normal, girl, and maybe I could get a clue!" he fired back, irritated.

Picking up a bottle, Rikku pushed it into Jecht's face, causing him to go slightly cross-eyed. "This monkey!" she hissed. "Everyone's noticed, you know, even Braska. If you're not sloshed you're being an asshole. What's the deal with you anyway?"

Jecht's face closed, and he grabbed the bottle out of her hand. "I jus' need a little help, that's all," he grumbled. "It ain't no damn _monkey problem,_" he added scornfully. "I drink 'cause I like it. Makes me feel good. I could stop whenever I wanted."

"Sure," Rikku replied flatly. "Did you ever stop and think that maybe this Pilgrimage is a teenie weenie little bit more important than making yourself feel good?" She sniffed and winced. "Besides, you smell almost as disgusting as you look. It'd make the rest of _us_ feel good if you wouldn't clean out the Agency's entire _paan_ supply." Her brow furrowed. "How could you afford all this anyway? I thought Auron told you not to dodge for beer."

Jecht ducked his head. "I didn't do no dodgin' for it," he grumbled. Rikku waited as the silence grew, with Jecht looking steadily more uncomfortable by the second. Her eyes narrowed, and she began to tap one finger on the table slowly. "I traded for it, all right?" he finally said with a shrug.

"Traded?" Rikku echoed. "Traded what?" A sense of foreboding overtook her as Jecht hunched down even lower over the table. "Traded _what,_ Jecht?" she repeated slowly.

He mumbled something unintelligible, and Rikku narrowed her eyes. When he glanced up, she gave him a _Rikku Look Mark II_ that would have made Auron proud. Flinching, he picked up a stray bottle and absently plucked at the label. "Just a little somethin' we found," he mumbled.

"Define something," Rikku said stonily. At this rate, Jecht was going to make her temper give Auron's a run for his money.

"Well... y'know... that jar of, uh, _stuff_ you had."

"Stuff?" Rikku repeated dumbly, her stomach clenching.

"Yeah, stuff. I dunno what it was, that shiny stuff," Jecht repeated. "You had all those things laid out when you were workin' on Braska's staff yesterday, an' it was just lyin' there, and I, uh, I thought maybe you didn't need it, y'know?" He was rubbing the back of his head and looking distinctly uncomfortable now, but Rikku ignored him. She was too busy digging through her pockets, mentally trying to catalogue what she'd managed to collect and what she'd synthesized and figure out what item Jecht would call "a piece of shiny stuff" - which could, honestly, define over the half of what she usually managed to pull from fiends. Swiping a hand cursorily over her breast pocket, Rikku froze. She patted the pocket again - _I was sure I put it here_ - and then with a sinking feeling, she turned to Jecht.

"Did it sing?" she asked softly, dangerously. "That _stuff_ you took?"

Jecht scratched his head. "Sing? Wha? Naw, it was just shiny and swirly. Those guys who took it, they seemed real happy, said I could have as many as I wanted on the house," he added carelessly.

"Swirly... shiny, and in a glass bottle," Rikku repeated, her stomach knotting. Her fists slowly clenched on the table. "It did, you know."

"Huh? Did what?" Jecht asked.

She had to keep talking, or Rikku was sure she'd grind the enamel right off of her teeth. "It sang." Her voice began to rise, growing a little shriller with each word she spoke. "It sang because it was rare. It sang because it was beautiful. It sang because it was worth more than this entire building and everything in it put together, Jecht," she spat out. By now she was standing, and her hands - which she honestly hadn't noticed moving - were slapping Jecht over the head as he ducked under her blows. "It sang because it was a piece of the Farplane, you GREAT BIG STINKING MORON!" she screamed, her light slaps becoming earnest blows as her fury mounted. "How could you steal from me? How could you steal THAT from me?"

"Hey, hey, calm down, you'll wake everyone up!" Jecht yelled, flinching away from her. "Geez, I didn't know, alright? Take it easy, I'll get it back!"

Rikku let her hands drop limply, realizing the futility of her assault. Beating Jecht black and blue wouldn't bring the Farplane Wind back, as satisfying as it might be. "And how's that, huh?" she asked sharply, glaring at him. "You'll find me another Espada and kill it all by yourself?"

"I'll just ask 'em," Jecht said reasonably, pushing away from the table. "Wasn't that much beer anyhow," he muttered. Rikku stuck her foot out and tripped him back down into his chair with a fierce expression. At least, she would have tripped him back into his chair, had Jecht not lost his balance and gone clattering messily to the floor. She wasn't feeling particularly sorry, though, and continued without pause.

"They're not going to give it back, Jecht!" she screamed at him. "They're not as stupid as you!" Blinking back her angry tears, she turned away from the table - and drew up short as she took in the small audience observing their antics. The proprietor of the Agency, followed closely by his Hypello assistant, was staring at her, shocked - more likely than not at the fact that one of Braska's mysterious companions was also an Al Bhed - and judging from the look of his rapidly cooling expression, apparently a betrayal of their native cause.

"What are _you_ doing with _them?_" fired the innkeeper in rapid Al Bhed.

"None of your business," Rikku shot back in the same tongue, seeing more forms moving in the corridor behind him. Another entourage of - Rikku bit back a groan - Bevellian priests, missionaries from the looks of it, had been woken by their scuffle. And behind them, she could make out Auron's bulk, filling the hallway - and the rest of the room, in fact - with an almost palpably dark aura of displeasure.

"You are guarding that Summoner," the innkeeper replied, switching back to the common Spiran tongue, his eyes narrowing. "Guarding the _clis_ who stole our sister!"

Rikku's back straightened instantly. "Don't you dare call him scum," she snarled, still answering in her native tongue. "Don't you say another word!"

"It is you who will keep silent, traitor! Speak another word in the tongue of my people and I'll cut it from your mouth!"

_**My**__ people?_ The innkeeper had specifically excluded her from inclusion into that group. Rikku stepped back, her mouth opening and closing in hurt and shock. Vaguely, she wondered if this was how Braska felt all the time.

"What is going on here?" Auron's voice broke through the crowd, even as he unceremoniously shoved the priests who were standing there, gaping, out of his way. "Rikkma?" he asked, glancing between her and the innkeeper.

"You. You should have told me you were bringing _that_ with you," the innkeeper said, facing Auron now. "Leave, the night is over and your party is no longer welcome here."

One of the Bevellian priests snickered in the background. "A drunkard, an Al Bhed, and an ex-monk, all following the great Lord Braska," he muttered, the sarcasm in his voice clear. "Oh how the mighty have fallen, haven't they, Sir Auron?"

Rikku jumped at the priest's tone even as Auron's face grew cold. Apparently it wasn't a lucky day for any of them and Auron, even young as he was, was more famous than she'd guessed. Dropping her head, she glared at Jecht, who was finally managing to squirm his way off of the ground, and then looked guiltily at Auron. She hadn't meant to get them kicked out this early, but it was obvious that they'd overstayed their welcome.

"Pardon me..." Braska unobtrusively pushed his way forward through the priests, who parted before him with a look of surprise. His face was serene, but there was no trace of humour to be found in it. "We were on the way out already anyway," he said softly. Bowing briefly to the innkeeper, he smiled at them and gestured minutely. "Come, it's time to go."

Dropping her head in shame, Rikku grabbed Jecht's arm with a grip that was more than just a little too tight to be comfortable and hauled him towards the door. Auron followed swiftly behind him, his knuckles whitened from the severity of his grip on the handle of his sword. Braska paused, turning to face their audience. "I thank you for your hospitality." He bowed respectfully, ignoring the innkeeper's loud snort, and trailed after the others out into the rainy plains.

For a while a gloomy silence settled over the group as they trudged into the everlasting storm; Rikku folded her arms together and hunched over, scowling. Anger was preventing her from feeling the sting and cold of the rain, or even shock at the flashes of lighting that occasionally struck around them. Finally, when the Travel Agency had dropped out of view, her pace slowed, and she slicked her soaked hair away from her face.

"Hey, Blondie," Jecht called out to her tentatively, and Rikku stiffened.

"Don't talk to me right now," Rikku spat.

"But I -"

"La la la! Is that the wind I hear blowing? Must be, because I THINK I WAS BEING PRETTY CLEAR!" Rikku yelled immediately, stubbornly plugging her fingers into her ears.

"Shut up, both of you," Auron said suddenly. "I want to know exactly what happened." He glared at them both. "I've had enough of your antics. Your shameful behaviour today interrupted Lord Braska's rest! Or have you both already forgotten that you're supposed to _protect_ him from hardship?"

"It was nothing," Braska murmured. "One can hardly rest comfortably in such a hostile environment -"

"No, I'm sorry," Rikku suddenly piped up. "Stop trying to be the hero, Braska, that was all my fault. I lost my temper and it wasn't fair to you or Auron."

"Hey! What about me?" Jecht asked.

"You deserved it," Rikku spat, her tone frosting over. She turned to Auron, her face flushing, conspicuously ignoring Jecht's wince. "Do you know what he did? He stole from me! He stole our loot!"

Auron's expression twisted in wry amusement. "I thought you were the thief."

Rikku let out a yell of frustration and pulled at her hair. "It's not funny! He stole my Farplane Wind!"

Auron's face registered confusion, but Braska frowned at the revelation. "I've heard rumours of the existence of such things... pyreflies that could be bottled, whispers of death that could be caught. How did you manage to acquire such a thing, Rikkma?"

Rikku sighed. "It was that Espada we fought. It was... well, _special_ somehow, I guess. I just felt it and I grabbed it and boom! Out it came!"

"A rare and precious gift indeed," Braska repeated, a note of awe in his voice. "Where is it now?"

"Well, I wonder," Rikku said loudly. "Maybe Jecht knows!"

Jecht mumbled under his breath. "You don't have to be such a bitch about it," he grunted. "Excuse me for not knowin' it was _special,_" he sneered.

Rikku clenched her fists together. "You know what?" she said suddenly, stomping over to Jecht. "I changed my mind. Give it to me. You took something of mine, so I'm taking something of yours."

"Huh?"

"The Neptune Sigil! Give it here!" Rikku yelled, holding out her hand.

"But you said that was special! An' I won that fair and square!" Jecht protested, his hand immediately covering the pocket containing the sigil in question.

"Jecht! You sold my Farplane Wind for _beer!_ You- you- you're _asking for it!_" she screeched, her hand automatically going for her sphere grid. Her progress was halted by Auron's sudden, swift grip on her wrist, forcibly pushing her back. His glare, however, wasn't directed at her.

"You stole our supplies and traded them for liquor?" he asked calmly. Braska observed the exchange silently, his lips drawn tight as he looked at Jecht. "And what exactly is this 'Neptune Sigil' Rikkma is speaking of?"

Sullenly, Jecht pulled the sigil out of his pocket and flipped the cloth open. "I won it dodgin' lightning," he grumbled. Braska's sharp inhale seemed to be more than enough to confirm the object's value, as Auron released her almost immediately and scowled.

"Hand it to me. _Carefully,_" he stipulated as Jecht made to lob the small object through the air.

"Sorry already," Jecht grumbled. "If I'd known that Farplane-thingie was worth the whole damn buildin', I wouldn't've done it."

Auron nearly dropped the sigil into the mud. _"What?"_ He looked down at Rikku quickly, who only dropped her head and nodded a miserable confirmation. "Unbelievable," he grit out, grabbing the sigil and glaring at it furiously. Then he did a double-take and took a closer look at the artefact. "Is this -"

Braska spoke up, his eyes widening as he stared at the Neptune Sigil. "A celestial sigil," he exclaimed reverently. "Yevon smiles upon us... that object is far more valuable than a Farplane Wind." Then he studied Jecht with renewed intensity. "I understand now. First the sword, and now this..."

Auron blinked and looked at the sigil. Then he looked back at Jecht, scepticism clearly splashed across his features. "My lord, you can't possibly think -"

"It's the only explanation," Braska replied, still staring at Jecht in wonder. "He was meant to have it. He is the one that sword chose." Then he smiled broadly and clapped a surprised-looking Jecht on the shoulder. "To think, we have a legend in the making in our midst!" Braska's cheerful reception was completely at odds with Auron's incredulous gaping and the not-so-subtle clouds boiling over Rikku's head. He grinned at Jecht, and Rikku and Auron exchanged a brief but mutually pained look. Braska, it seemed, would always be Braska.

"You know, just forget it. There's not much anyone can do with a single Farplane Wind after all." This Rikku had to force out through clenched teeth. Sighing, she plucked the sigil out of Auron's suddenly lax grip. Legend or not, Jecht was currently on her blacklist and even his unwitting mastery of the Neptune Sigil wasn't going to change that. "But I'm hanging onto this anyway until Stupid here can prove that he won't trade it for something worthless at the next bar we come across."

Braska, still smiling at Jecht, clapped him on the shoulder once more, a little more firmly. "I think that's an acceptable solution, don't you Jecht?"

_Well, maybe Braska isn't as clueless as he looks,_ Rikku thought privately, rubbing her nose.

"Whatever," Jecht grumbled flushing. He rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced at Rikku in some kind of rough estimation of an apology. "Sorry 'bout the trouble, Blondie."

Rikku opened her mouth to reply, but Auron beat her to the punch. "We need to have a word, Jecht." His words were harsh steel, and Braska shot Auron a brief, disapproving look which the other man completely ignored. "Lord Braska, Rikkma. If you'll excuse us."

Frowning, Rikku allowed herself to be led away as Braska tugged on her arm and led her to one of the lightning shelters. "Hey, you forgave him already, right? So why're you letting Auron go all scary on him? Isn't that, like, against the rules?" Not that she _minded,_ Rikku thought viciously, but curiosity forced her to ask.

"Rules?" Braska laughed. "I try to avoid telling Auron what he may and may not do. He's a grown man, after all."

"And he's your Guardian," Rikku replied, watching intently as Auron leaned closer to Jecht, wearing what she could only best describe as his _scary_ face. His lips were moving, and from whatever he was saying, Jecht certainly appeared to be sobering up quickly. "Isn't he supposed to do what you tell him to?"

"Auron has his ways," Braska replied easily. Rikku noticed he was watching the exchange just as avidly as she was. "He does what he feels is in the best interest of the group - in my best interest. Sometimes that conflicts with my own wishes and desires. For example..." he trailed off, gesturing helplessly.

"You mean this whole Pilgrimage," Rikku supplied. "Can't say I blame him."

Braska's responding smile was vaguely amused. "I refuse to compromise on the most important things," he clarified. Then his smile lessened. "Jecht... has a problem. But it is one which none of us can remedy. He has to find the answer within himself." He sighed as Jecht said something which displeased Auron, who growled out some kind of undoubtedly cutting response. Jecht flinched.

"But you'll let him stay with us anyway?" Rikku asked. "Uh, 'cause it looks like Auron's really putting him through the wringer there..."

Braska sighed. "Auron doesn't know when to back away from a delicate situation," he supplied. "Jecht requires space. A lecture - no matter how stern - will do nothing for him at this point. Being scolded for one's faults rarely inspires a person to remedy his behaviour. What's done is done. There's no point in dwelling over his mistake." His smile turned upwards. "Besides... I have faith in Jecht. He will come through this. Even without the proof of the Neptune Sigil, I would believe in him. He has a strength in himself which he doesn't yet realize. Maybe that is why he tries so hard to prove himself through other venues. Such as Blitzball. And drink."

Rikku frowned. "I guess so," she muttered unwillingly. "Still wish I had my Farplane Wind back. If we were gonna lose it anyhow, that would have bought us supplies for a month!" she growled.

Braska chuckled. "Yes, well, no one ever said the path to redemption would be easy for any of us." He stared at Auron, who was now openly shouting and gesturing angrily with one hand, and Jecht, who had crossed his own arms over his chest and was scowling deeply. "Jecht will recover from this disagreement with Auron in time." The corners of his eyes crinkled as his smile deepened. "You always managed to."

Rikku blushed and bit back a grin. From that perspective, it was kind of nice to see someone besides herself getting flattened by Auron's temper. She almost felt sorry for Jecht. _Almost._

**.x.x.x.**

The trip out of the Thunder Plains was decidedly less exciting than the journey inwards. It might have been the moody silence which descended on the group; Rikku, still slightly angered at the theft of her loot, refused to allow herself to even think about donning her Lady Luck dressphere. There was no guarantee Jecht would have come out of the resulting scuffle unscathed. Auron, furious at Jecht after their "talk," refused to speak with any of them; he marched stoically ahead of the group, tension radiating off of his broad shoulders. Braska, tired and resigned, simply followed at a more leisurely - if you could call slugging through the heavy thunderstorms of the plains _leisurely_ - pace. Rikku was sure Jecht was following her, but she was annoyed enough to push his presence from her mind, not truly wanting to know what exactly he was doing with himself.

That was why, when Jecht let out a loud yell of pain, they were taken by surprise.

"The little bastard stung me!" Jecht yelped, wincing as he held a hand to his shoulder. His entire bicep was studded with a myriad of wicked-looking needles, and the arm below it hung limp and useless. Rikku's eyes widened as she recognized the source of his injury.

"You found a Qactuar? Why'd you piss it off?" she growled, eying the little menace warily.

"I didn't know the runt had a bite," Jecht groused, edging out of the way of the jumpy, chittering cactus.

"Now you do," Rikku noted as she watched the cactus carefully. Seeing her chance as it dropped its guard to spin around, she rushed in. _Pyreflies, only pyreflies, Rikku!_ Her hand shot forward, delving, pushing, and those weren't needles digging into her outstretched palm, but _pyreflies,_ and suddenly, she felt them. With a heave, Rikku pulled her hand out, clutching the three tiny, furiously pulsing fire gems to her chest. She immediately lobbed one at the Qactuar while scrambling to safety, not really surprised when it missed by a long shot. The resulting explosion was still loud enough to send the creature scurrying away into the darkened plains, though. Rikku sighed; it would've been a difficult kill anyway - those little buggers were unbelievably fast. She grinned at the spoils she'd managed to pilfer despite the loss and pocketed them quickly.

Turning around, she saw Braska leaning over Jecht's arm, grimacing at the mess of needles that had embedded themselves into the other man's flesh. "Why'd you pick a fight with it?" she asked as she approached, watching Braska carefully pluck them, one by one, from Jecht's arm.

"It was small," Jecht groused. "I thought it'd be easy." He winced as Braska pulled out another needle and gritted his teeth. "Did I ever tell ya that I hate needles?"

"No," Braska replied, pulling another spike from the blitzer's arm, unperturbed.

"What were you trying to accomplish by yourself? Any battle - _any_ - should be fought as a team, precisely to prevent accidents like this," Auron grunted, glaring at Jecht. "Apparently your irresponsibility knows no bounds."

Jecht winced, though Rikku wasn't sure whether from Auron's words or the pain as Braska pulled the final few needles out of his arm. Then he dropped his head and mumbled something.

"If you have something to say for yourself, speak up!" Auron told him harshly.

Rikku winced. So Jecht had blown their biggest treasure on his bad habit - granted, it had been annoying. But, remembering Braska's words, she felt a small stab of pity for the blitzer. Maybe Auron's way _wasn't_ always the right way. After all, he'd forgiven her, hadn't he? "Uh, Auron..."

"I wasn't talking to you," he snapped, his eyes never leaving Jecht's face. Rikku winced. She leaned over and caught Braska's eye. "Wow. Was he always like this when I pissed him off?" she whispered.

"Worse," Braska murmured with an amused quirk. "Judging from the severity of his reaction, however, I believe he's growing rather fond of Jecht."

Rikku frowned. Auron, growing _fond _of Jecht? She sure couldn't tell it from the way he was glowering.

"Well?"

Jecht glared at Auron. "I said I was tryin' to make it up, alright? I jus' thought, I dunno, if I collected a few things from those fiends like you 'n Rikkma always do, then maybe..." he trailed off and shrugged, rolling his shoulder and flexing his palm a few times as Braska finished casting his healing spell. "Just forget it," he snarled, picking up his sword. "It was a stupid idea."

Auron was still frowning, but it didn't quite seem as though he was trying to melt Jecht into a puddle with his patented stare anymore. Feeling oddly charitable at Jecht's admission, Rikku sighed and hit him in the arm. The one that Braska had just healed, actually. "Oops," she giggled as Jecht grabbed his shoulder and howled.

"Alright, I get it already Blondie!"

"Sorry," Rikku said, making a grab for his _other_ arm. "It wasn't _that _dumb of an idea. But y'know, Auron and I manage to collect all that stuff because I steal it while he's taking care of the nasty business. You don't just go around killing things willy nilly." She frowned. "Well, actually, I guess you sorta do. But we do it in style," she added.

"Well, ain't that just great for you two lovebirds," Jecht told her sullenly.

Blushing, Rikku ignored his dig. "If you really want to help out, why don't you come with me this time?" She noted Auron's frown, which was growing in length again, and sighed. "I think you could use the practice and maybe Braska wouldn't mind catching up on stuff with Auron. Right?" She smiled her brightest, most hopeful smile at Braska, who returned it with a knowing smile of his own.

"Of course," he quickly supplied. "We haven't had much of a chance to talk since our journey began, have we Auron?"

Auron opened his mouth as if to protest, and then let out an exaggerated sigh of defeat. "Fine. Go hunt if you want. Don't get yourselves killed."

Rikku took the opportunity to drag Jecht away from the group as quickly as she could. "Wow," she breathed. "I didn't think it'd be that easy!"

Jecht shook her arm off, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I thought he was gonna try and beat my ass down for a while there." Then he sighed. "Listen, I said I was sorry. You over it already?"

Rikku frowned to herself as she spotted a buer in the distance. "Nope," she replied. Then she turned and faced him. "I'll manage somehow. But Jecht?"

"Uh?" he grunted at her, drawing his sword as he spotted their quarry.

"No more _paan,_ okay?"

Jecht's brow lowered and his expression blackened. "I already told ya, it ain't a problem," he grumbled. "What's up with you an' Auron, playin' good cop bad cop now? Go fuck around with someone else's head." Not waiting for her answer, he swung his sword around and rushed headlong towards the buer with a yell.

Rikku's smile faltered slightly and a bit of the shining optimism Braska had instilled in her tarnished over. Maybe Braska's way wasn't always the right one, either. "We'll see," she mumbled to herself, drawing her daggers and following him into battle.

* * *

_AN: Big thanks to Fwe for being her usual, wonderful self and catching all those mistakes. "Clis" is Al Bhed for "scum." Yes, this has to do with Gabi-hime's update. Her story is very inspiring! :P_


	22. Dreaming

**- Chapter 22: ****Dreaming -**

Rikku stepped out onto the sunlit deck of the airship and squinted at the silhouette sitting near the edge of the platform.

_What's __she doing out here alone?_

Making her way over, she seated herself next to the other girl and smiled. "Hey Yunie, what's up?"

Yuna sighed. "Oh, hey Rikku. I was just... thinking." A smile flitted across her lips, but there was the also the touch of hesitation that had always plagued Yuna's features during the Pilgrimage. Rikku's stomach flipped uncomfortably - wasn't that supposed to be long gone? She pushed the feeling of wrongness away and returned Yuna's smile.

"Thinking of what?"

Yuna sighed and looked back over the endless fields of wildflowers stretching out below their feet. "The fayth," she told Rikku softly. "Their dreams."

Rikku felt her smile fading as Yuna spoke. "Dreams of the fayth," she repeated. One of the missing pieces clicked into place, and she blinked slowly. "Tidus."

Yuna nodded. "Maechen told me that the dreams of the fayth reach through the spirit of the Summoner," she whispered. "Using their power, I make those dreams come true."

Rikku gripped the metal of the platform and stared at the beautiful, empty tableau stretching before her. _Please stop talking, Yunie. Please. _ The flowers were wilting rapidly now, the warmth of the setting sun fading into twilight. The sense of wrongness permeated everything. Yuna's face was slowly masked in darkness, but when she turned her head to look at Rikku, both of her startlingly bright eyes were _blue._

"The dream of the fayth, the power of a Summoner. That which does not exist becomes real for all to see," Braska's voice intoned softly. Cool fingers rested against her neck, and Rikku started as another, deeper voice whispered into her ear.

"What is your dream?" he asked.

_You,_ she wanted to say. _You've always been my dream._

"Liar," Bahamut rumbled. He was there, floating before her as a child, but his voice was impossibly ancient. "Your own story – that is what you wanted. You have never dreamed for others. You have always dreamed for yourself."

Rikku wanted to protest, but she couldn't move, couldn't even blink. She forced her jaw to move, squeezing the words between her unwilling lips. "I didn't mean it to be... to be -!" ... _so selfish,_ she couldn't bring herself to say out loud.

The pressure on her neck increased slightly; _his_ voice filled her ear, a soothing balm to her crackling nerves. "Your dream wasn't meant for the rest of the world. Do not be ashamed."

"You wanted to see him again. Not just your memories," Bahamut told her in his usual monotone, and she couldn't tell if he was scolding her or not. "_'Even if just to say goodbye.'_"

"But I can't let go!" Rikku blurted out.

"Then why do you seek us? Why do you wish to end your dream?"

"Yunie's world..." Rikku managed to whisper, her brow furrowing.

"A world without Sin," Braska completed for her. "Such a world requires sacrifice to build. The fayth sacrificed their dreams for us. What, then, is one small dream of our own?"

Rikku wanted to shake her head, Braska was _wrong._ It wasn't _fair!_ But she couldn't move; the fingers touching her neck held her still.

"Your happiness," Auron whispered seductively.

"Spira's future," Braska chided.

"You shouldn't seek us out. You know you aren't ready," Bahamut told her.

The encroaching darkness stretched out its tendrils, obscuring everything; Rikku could no longer see Braska or Bahamut, nor feel the touch of Auron's fingers against her skin. It wrapped around her like chains, robbing her of breath as she gasped and struggled, searching wildly for the last vestiges of light -

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku woke, sweating and panting into the darkness. She sat up quickly in her bed, trying to slow her breathing down and covering her eyes with the heels of her palms. "Just a dream," she whispered to herself. "It was just a dream."

"Rikkma?"

Her eyes flew open, and she almost let out a shriek as she saw two blue eyes staring at her from out of the darkness, eerily reminiscent of the vision she had just woken from.

"Is everything all right?" Braska asked her with a touch of concern.

Rikku nodded wildly, and then after a minute realized that Braska probably couldn't see her. "Yeah, I'm fine," she managed to say, keeping the tremble out of her voice. "Just a bad dream, that's all."

Braska smiled. She could tell from the faint white flash of his teeth. "I couldn't sleep either," he admitted, pitching his voice low as so not to wake the others. "I feel... restless." She heard the rustle of cloth as Braska shifted on his bed. "Perhaps being this close to the Farplane is causing it. Maybe it calls to the spirits within my soul."

Rikku blinked and fisted the sheet in her hand. They had managed to arrive in Guadosalam the afternoon before, but the Guado city did not welcome them with open arms. This, however, was nothing new. The Guado hated tourists, and they let travellers passing through their city know it. Summoner's parties were no exception.

Rikku could have cared less, though; much more important to her was the fact that the city was still standing. Sin hadn't attacked, as she'd feared. The entrance to the Farplane was still completely safe and intact and – as she'd discovered with some surprise – just as fiercely guarded as "normal." Personally, Rikku didn't think it was very _normal_ at all – but it _was_ a clear reminder that she was living in a time where the Guado were at the height of their cultural power and influence, not having fully accepted the Church of Yevon's missionary overtures. And yet for all of Guadosalam's glory and pride, she couldn't help but view everything with a touch of sadness. The Ronso had almost completely destroyed the Guado race, decimating their remaining numbers in a war of attrition that lasted for almost a full year after the start of Yuna's badly-misnamed "Eternal Calm."

One day, all of it would disappear; the proud mansion that housed Lord Jyscal's clan would be reduced to nothing more than LeBlanc's glorified massage parlour, and the oddly decorated houses lining the street would morph into cheap tourist shops and tacky arcades. Still, the most important feature of Guadosalam would never change. The Farplane was ever there, filled with its great emptiness, disquieting peace and hidden sorrows. For now, though – before the destruction of the Guado; before the integration of Guadosalam into the Church of Yevon – the Farplane was a holy shrine to all Spira, and jealously guarded by its Guado caretakers. Travellers were allowed one visit, and one visit only; as such, Braska had decided that they rest beforehand in order to make the most of the rare opportunity.

_Rest. As if!_ Rikku thought to herself, rubbing her hand over her face wearily. Well, there sure wouldn't be any more rest tonight – if her own nightmares hadn't ensured it, then the dulcet tones of Jecht's snoring certainly did. Sweeping the covers away, she tiptoed out of her bed and made her way towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Braska asked, hearing her movement.

"Can't sleep, so I'm gonna take a hike," Rikku whispered. She heard more sounds of rustling and nearly shrieked again when she felt someone grasp her elbow.

"Then, let us go together. There's no rest for me here tonight, either," Braska whispered to her, and Rikku bit back a sigh of disappointment. What she _really_ wanted was to be alone, to mull over the meaning of her dream and its possible consequences. Were the fayth trying to communicate with her, or was she letting her own fears plague her even now in sleep? Rikku let out the breath she'd been holding back; either way, she couldn't find it in herself to turn Braska away. Considering the potency of her own dream, maybe it actually was _her_ fault that he couldn't sleep either.

Cracking the door open, they exited the room as quietly as possible, and then stood, blinking to adjust to the soft lighting of the inn's tiny hallway.

"Oh! You forgot your robe," Braska observed with some concern.

Rikku blinked and stared and after a few more seconds remembered to close her jaw. "You forgot yours, too," she replied, her eyes wide. It wasn't so much the lack of circlet and formal summoning robes that stopped her, but rather that Braska seemed to have forgotten his _braid,_ too. Not that she could blame him; while keeping her own hair in its bevy of braids made it easier to care for on the road, it _did_ get a little uncomfortable after a while. Guadosalam was also, admittedly, the first "comfortable" pit stop the entourage had managed to reach since the start of the Pilgrimage. She stared enviously at Braska's hair, which hung straight down his back, nearly as long as her own and the colour of burnished copper.

Noticing her scrutiny, Braska self-consciously touched his head. "So I did. Is it a problem?"

Rikku blinked and shook her head. Just looking at Braska was making her own scalp itch, though. Decision made, Rikku pulled off her bandana and began to undo her own braids. "No, this is perfect! We'll tour the city incognito! If we both let our hair down, nobody'll recognize us!"

"That would be because we aren't famous, Rikkma," Braska replied with a laugh.

Ignoring him, Rikku struggled with the snarls in her unruly hair. "That's just a matter of time, you know," she puffed as she worked. _Owwie!_ Rikku winced as her fingers caught on a particularly nasty snarl and bit her lip while pulling at a bead decorating one of her braids.

"Wait."

She stilled and glanced up, a blush stealing over her face as she felt another pair of hands join her own. Braska gave her a warm smile and continued to untangle her hair even after she froze.

"It will be faster if I help," he explained.

"Yeah," Rikku said faintly and tried to ignore the fact that his fingers were digging into her hair, his knuckles occasionally brushing across her scalp. Instead, she concentrated on pulling the braid in her hand out even more viciously than before. In a matter of moments, it was done; her own mop of straw-blonde Al Bhed hair would certainly never be as smooth and well-behaved as Braska's own, but it was still a relief to have it finally down and falling loosely around her ears. "Wow, I keep forgetting how long it's gotten," she giggled as she fluffed it out a few times.

Braska had stepped back to admire her and feeling a little self-conscious herself, Rikku finished finger-combing through her hair and quickly tied her bandana around her neck. The beads she slipped into an empty pocket. When she was done, she tilted her head and gave Braska a sassy grin. "How do you like me now?"

Braska took a breath and opened his mouth; then, he stopped, as if checking his words, and smiled faintly at her. "It suits you very well." The smile faltered as his eyes moved down over her distinct travelling outfit. "But what of your robe?"

Rikku shrugged. "Do I really need it here? The Guado hate Yevonites just as much as they hate the Al Bhed. Besides, it won't matter once we cross the Moonflow." It was true; most people would be too busy eating, sleeping and dreaming about Blitzball to pay any attention to anything but their favourite athletes; even the Al Bhed team had earned its share of notoriety in Luca. Rikku guessed her appearance would be the least of their concerns; more likely than not it was Jecht's boundless enthusiasm that would prove their real problem. She smirked. More like _Auron's_ problem.

Braska's uncertainty seemed to evaporate. "You're right," he agreed, his shoulders straightening. "We can be... free, here, for tonight."

Rikku felt her own grin spreading and hooked her elbow around his own, dragging him down the hall. "That's right! No Summoners and no Guardians. Just two people hanging out!" They spilled out into one of the sleepy town's thoroughfares, and Rikku released Braska to run towards the edge of the road and drink in the sight. "I gotta hand it to the Guado: they sure do know how to decorate a place!"

Braska laughed as he joined her side. "I don't believe this is all the fruits of Guado architecture. Much of it seems to be the natural beauty of the cavern." His eyes drifted immediately towards the rocky path that led towards the source of most of the soft illumination in the cavern-city. "I imagine the gateway of the Farplane couldn't be otherwise."

Rikku found her eyes drawn to the path as well, and the momentary exhilaration she'd felt at their temporary escape faded away. _That's the way home,_ she told herself firmly. _If the fayth won't take me back, then it's the only way._

"Are you coming with us?" Braska's question caught her by surprise and for a moment, she stared at him guiltily, convinced she'd been caught red-handed in her plan to bail out from his Pilgrimage. If flinging herself into the Farplane could be called much of a plan. "Running away" seemed more accurate, actually.

"I... don't know, yet," Rikku answered, shifting her weight uneasily.

"I know of the Al Bhed beliefs, Rikkma. It's quite all right if you wish to remain outside of the Farplane while we pay our respects."

Rikku glanced up at the path again, frowning to herself. "We'll see when we get there, okay?" Memories of the dream tickled at her mind, and Rikku shrugged off the feeling of discomfort and foreboding that swept through her.

**.x.x.x.**

"Whoa, Blondie, ya let yer hair down!"

Rikku winced and gave a small wave towards Jecht, who was shambling down the path towards them. Auron was following him more slowly, his face carefully devoid of expression as he watched her returning from her stroll with Braska.

"Well, Braska did too, so it's okay, see?" Rikku replied defensively. Gathering her courage, she forced herself to look at Auron squarely and was surprised to find that he was the one to break away first when he conspicuously turned his head and trained his eyes on the far wall.

Rikku did a double-take. Since when did _she_ win stare-downs with Auron? The man didn't blink! It was like he wasn't even trying!

"It looks like you enjoyed yourselves," Auron told Braska stonily.

A mental circuit fired in Rikku's head. She licked her lips and felt herself flushing - she hadn't _meant_ for it to look like she'd ditched the group to run off with Braska, even if that was exactly what had happened. What she'd really wanted was a chance to think, to distance herself and gather the courage to do what she knew needed to be done at the Farplane. Braska's presence was more of a happy accident than a planned _date._ Why did Auron have to start getting sensitive _now,_ of all times?

Rikku slapped herself mentally in the midst of trying to come up with a justification for her behaviour that would ease the lines of tension off of his face. _Why do I need to apologize to him? I'm just going to be leaving anyhow. Maybe it's better like this. Still..._ The guilt was gnawing at her with more persistence than a hungry Zanarkand monkey. An idea struck her, and Rikku showered Auron with a brilliant smile.

"You should let your hair down too, you know!" she found herself saying, and he looked at her in surprise before his face hardened into a more typical frown.

"A warrior-monk never wears his hair loose," Auron replied.

"Oh, I think we can bend the rules a little, Auron," Braska interjected. "I don't believe the Guado will protest if you step out of uniform just for today."

Even Jecht joined in. "Just leave the stiff alone. Auron already knows he can't beat my good looks – we don't have to rub it in."

Rolling his eyes upward, Auron let out a gusty sigh and reached behind his head. Rikku's breath caught as he brusquely pulled away the leather tie holding his hair back, sending waves of dark hair spilling over his shoulders. It contrasted even more sharply against the paleness of his skin and the bright red of his overcoat. Jecht had it all wrong, Rikku thought privately – with his hair down, Auron looked even more like a Blitzball star than ever before. It really _was_ too bad that he was crap at swimming, she giggled to herself.

"This is ridiculous," Auron grumbled, reaching to tie back his hair almost immediately at the sound of Rikku's smothered laughter.

"No, don't do that!" she whinged. "It really does look good. I was just thinking that, umm, that it's a good thing there aren't many girls around here." She smiled at Auron shyly. "You'd have to beat them off with your sword!"

"Or get your girlfriend to do it for ya," Jecht added with a smirk.

"Shut your mouth," Auron snapped at Jecht. He kept his hair down, though, and Rikku hid another smile behind a light cough.

"So where are we going now?" Rikku asked, stretching her arms over her head and popping her shoulders.

Braska looked around at their group, and then shrugged. "We're together now... perhaps we should take this opportunity to see the Farplane. It's early enough to be free of most other visitors."

"Farplane?" Jecht asked as they began to move towards the winding pathway that would take them to their destination. "What's that?"

"It's the place where we send our dead," Braska explained as they walked. "One of the most important Summoner's duties is to gather the remnants of deceased spirits and send them to the Farplane before they can be warped by hatred and envy."

"Warped?" Jecht asked. "How can ya warp a soul? And how do ya know you're sending those spirits to the right place? And how do ya even know that dead people _have_ souls?"

Auron laughed shortly. "To think the Church let _us_ travel on a Pilgrimage." Sobering faintly, he continued in a quieter voice as they passed the two stern-looking Guado sentries guarding the pathway's entrance. "Don't say such things loudly. Yevon would persecute you as a heretic, and rightly so."

"It's true, Jecht," Braska explained. "Even if you disagree with the Church and its teachings, the presence of deceased souls in Spira is unmistakable. The body is a husk for the soul, and when freed from that constraint, the soul is released to wander the earth as well. When I perform a Sending, I can feel them. As an observer, you, too, can see them - they take on the form of pyreflies."

"Pyreflies. You're kidding me. Those are _dead people?_" Jecht turned to Rikku with a look of disgust on his face. "Blondie, tell me the truth here!"

Rikku sighed and rolled her eyes upwards. "Even if Yevon gets most things wrong, even they can be right about stuff sometimes."

"All right, so they're dead people!" Jecht frowned. "Holy shit. But, 'ey... aren't fiends, y'know, made of them pyrefly-thingies?"

"Exactly," Braska replied easily. "That is why it's a Summoner's duty to ensure the peace of the newly departed by Sending them. Otherwise, a malcontent soul will be transformed into a fiend."

Jecht was silent for a few moments, digesting the information. Then, he abruptly scratched his head. "Yeah, but... uh, if you know all this already, why are there still so many fiends wanderin' around everywhere?" Uncomfortable silence blanketed the group, and Jecht scowled. "Hey! What'd I say?"

"Sin," Rikku finally replied bitterly, letting the anger seep into her voice at the reminder of what she had to do. "The fiends are there because of Sin."

The discussion died out as the swirling portal of cool light came into view, and Jecht let out a low whistle. "Damn. And we're gonna go inside of that?"

Rikku tuned out the chatter as Jecht began to pepper the others with questions about the Farplane, pyreflies, and "seeing dead people." Thoughts of her dream and the future were crowding her head, and Rikku was glad that her friends were otherwise occupied. Her steps slowed and she trailed to the side of the path, caught up in her own thoughts. Of condemning Auron to his death and Jecht to many long years of torture and suffering. Braska's sacrifice, both in his life and through his death. But what about Yuna's sacrifice? Was it any less important? Or was it even more important? Hers had led to a world without Sin. A world without Auron.

Rikku felt her eyes lifting involuntarily to the man in question – he was, predictably, arguing with Jecht. She smiled slightly; yes, her wish had come true. This wasn't her Auron – he was gone, never to return; she understood, now. But he, too, was Auron, perhaps even more real than the man she'd thought she'd loved. He was a real flesh and blood person, not just a mishmash of pyreflies, hopes and failed dreams. As if he could feel her eyes on him, he looked up, his brows drawing together. Rikku ducked her head. _I need to let him go._

"Auron! Stop spacin' out on me, I was in the middle of talkin' to ya!"

Jecht's rough voice broke the spell, and Rikku winced... she'd let herself get trapped into thinking about Auron _again_ – selfishly, she guessed Bahamut would say. _And that's why you have to leave, Rikku. You have to._ Her feet refused to move.

"You've decided not to come inside with us then?" Braska asked her.

"I -" Rikku stalled, fidgeting uncomfortably. She looked at the swirling portal of light.

"No... please, Rikkma. You don't have to force yourself to make a decision right now. I can see that you're not ready," Braska told her gently, grasping her shoulders.

Rikku's eyes snapped to Braska as his voice echoed Bahamut's dream words. A look of confusion passed over his face and he released her. "Please wait for us here." It sounded more like an order than a request, and Rikku frowned. "Jecht, Auron."

"So you just step through?" Jecht peered nervously at the wall of light, tapping it uncertainly with a fingertip. Ripples spread through the air like water where he had touched. At Braska's nod, Jecht repressed his shudder, and – mumbling something about ghosts under his breath – leapt through the portal in one giant bound. Braska turned to follow him and then paused when he noticed that Auron wasn't moving.

"Auron?"

"I'll wait," Auron said. At Braska's tilt of the head, he shrugged. "Too many memories."

Braska nodded slowly. "Very well. Stay here with Rikkma." That, too, sounded like an order, and Rikku felt her frown deepening. Was Braska really ordering Auron to keep an eye on her? And more importantly, _why?_ He turned before she could question him, inhaled sharply, and disappeared behind the portal. Silence descended, and Rikku scuffed the toes of her boots on the rocky ground.

"Say, Auron," she called out after a few uncomfortable moments. "Why'd you stay? They're only gonna let us in once. This is your big chance!"

Auron shook his head. "My chance for what? To see the faces of the men I've killed in the name of Yevon?" he asked bluntly.

Rikku winced. "... I guess I hadn't thought about it like that." She scuffed her toe into the ground again. "You're not mad at me, are you? I mean, for running off with Braska earlier?"

Sighing, Auron leaned against the wall and met her gaze. "I said you'd have nothing to worry about from me."

"Really?" Rikku asked. She crept towards him. "'Cause I could be wrong about this, but you kinda looked a little pissed off, there."

Auron shrugged uncomfortably. "Do what you like."

Rikku smirked and inched closer to him. "Some girls might take that as an invitation, you know."

His reaction wasn't the one she'd hoped for; instead of laughing, or even better reciprocating, he glared at her. "But don't toy with him." He paused. "Or me."

Rikku felt her already short temper – which wasn't being helped along by her lack of sleep – flaring in indignation. "Maybe I wouldn't toy with you if you'd throw me a bone here! In case you haven't noticed, Auron, I like you. And I don't mean it in that 'Oh, you're a great guy' kind of way. I _like_ like you! But sometimes it feels like you don't even care!"

Auron frowned deeply, the knuckles on his hands whitening as he gripped his arms. "I refuse to be a replacement for –"

Rikku stomped her foot. "That's a cheap excuse that you told me to stop using already. Why don't you take your own advice? I'm talking to _you_ right now, not _him!_" Rikku clapped a hand over her mouth right after she finished blurting out her protest. She did it out of shock, but also to hide a grin that was spreading uncontrollably across her face. There. She'd done it. Auron would probably burst a blood vessel, most likely one of hers, if he suspected she was laughing at him now, of all times, but she couldn't push down the feeling of elation blossoming in her chest. She'd said it to his face. _Him._ _He_ was not the Auron she had foolishly crushed on, not the enigmatic man that no one, not even Tidus, could read. Not _this_ Auron. For once, she was taking a chance, stretching out, and putting her heart on the line – and for a _real_ person this time. Rikku swallowed nervously and dropped her hand away from her mouth as the enormity of her proposal hit her. _This_ Auron was not a romanticized construct of her own mind. This Auron could, and probably _would,_ shoot her down at any moment. If there was one thing young Auron had in common with his older, deader self, it was a complete lack of interest in the opposite sex.

Auron simply sighed in response and refused to meet her eye, muttering something under his breath.

"What was that?" Rikku asked, planting her hands on her hips. Whether Auron actually was cold-blooded or not, everyone knew the first rule in the battle of the sexes was to never admit defeat. "If you're not interested in me, you only have to _say_ it, you know." Rikku decided not to mention that she wouldn't necessarily be inclined to listen to him. Maybe she was being selfish, but if there was one thing she was rapidly learning it was that time with Auron was a luxury she didn't have. Even now, Rikku knew what they _did_ have was stolen from the future. Maybe that was what her nightmare had been trying to tell her, after all; that it was okay to have a selfish dream. As long as you knew it was a dream and that one day, you'd have to wake up. So what if she was making him uncomfortable? If all she had was borrowed time, Rikku thought that gave her the right to do a little stalking if she deemed it necessary.

_Besides, t__ime travel doesn't count as stalking,_ she exculpated. Relatively speaking, _he_ was the one who was really inconveniencing _her,_ right?

"... it's acceptable," Auron was saying, still not facing her.

"What?" Rikku pulled herself out of her thoughts and struggled to make a connection. "Wait, say that again!" she demanded hotly.

Was Auron... flushing? _Huh... I guess he's not a graceful blusher, either,_ Rikku noted with a gleeful smirk. That, or the stone-faced guardian was coming down with a mild skin rash. She held her tongue, enjoying his growing look of discomfort.

"Your hair. It looks... acceptable." He paused at Rikku's obvious hesitation. "Right now," he added, finally meeting her stare.

Rikku felt herself beginning to glow under the compliment. "You like my hair down?" she asked, patting it self-consciously. Then her glow faded into indignation. "Wait, just _acceptable?_ Is that the best you can do?" Life just wasn't fair, Rikku decided. Braska and Auron could put the best of Luca's blitzball celebrities to shame just by letting their hair down, and all _she_ got was an "acceptable?" She scowled and crossed her arms.

"It looks better this way than that crow's nest you usually wear," he added, a slight hint of humour passing over his face as he refused to give in to her pout. The smirk faded, but Auron didn't look away. "I think it makes you look more mature." He paused again and let his eyes flicker over her face, as if searching for something. "And more difficult to ignore."

"That's not a bad thing, Auron," Rikku said gently, taking a few steps towards him. She stopped when he turned away from her.

"Braska noticed, too."

Rikku frowned. "But I want _you_ to notice." Her statement hung in the air, unchallenged, and she took a stab at the invisible wall standing between them. "You know, this morning... that wasn't something we planned. It was just a coincidence! I woke up early and so did Braska, and... and we both kind of decided to go out." Auron stiffened and she winced at her choice of words. "Not like a date, I mean! Just to look around the city! I mean, if I wanted a date, I would've asked him. He just sorta came along, you know?" She trailed off uncertainly. This honesty stuff wasn't going quite as far as she'd hoped it would, judging from the expression on Auron's face.

"Rikku... you're not afraid of facing your feelings, are you?" Auron turned his head slightly and looked at her, the motion causing his long hair to spill over his face without the constraint of his usual ponytail, obscuring one of his eyes. Rikku swallowed audibly.

"No," she answered him, though her voice was steadier than she felt.

He tilted his head towards the Farplane. "Then go to Braska," he told her tonelessly.

Rikku clenched her fists. "I think staying right here is _acceptable, _thank you very much." She took another few steps towards Auron and then hefted herself onto the ledge right next to him, grinning when she noticed that he didn't shift away from. "Besides... I'm not afraid of how I feel. That's why I'd rather be with you right now."

Auron said nothing, but Rikku smiled quietly to herself as she invaded his personal space without resistance. He was still facing away from her, arms stubbornly crossed, but some of the tension faded from his posture as she leaned first a shoulder, and then a cheek against his exposed back.

"You're a foolish girl," Auron told her gruffly, but allowed her to remain seated against him as he stared blankly into the soft, liquid glow that heralded the entrance to the Farplane.

Rikku closed her eyes and ignored his words, choosing instead to soak in the warmth radiating from his body. This Auron was flesh and blood, no matter how cold he sounded. Contentment flooded through Rikku as she shifted her head, pressing her ear against his red overcoat and trying to find the beat of his heart. She let herself be lulled by the gentle sound of his steady breathing and the soft, distant hum of the Farplane.

_Nothing's stopping you from going back __right now._

Rikku squeezed her eyes together more tightly and turned her head just enough to brush the fabric of Auron's coat with her lips. She inhaled deeply, relishing in the musky scent of the sweat-stained garment. Traces of ozone and the faintest whiff of Macalania's forests mixed in with the smell that was uniquely Auron, and Rikku had to physically stop herself from reaching out to grip it and clutch it to her chest - particularly since Auron was still wearing the garment.

_Maybe it's selfish, but this is my dream._

She didn't know how much time passed as she half-dozed in contentment, free of her private worries and mental arguments and content to just _be_ in that moment. Auron remained silent but she could tell from the soft, steady pull of his breath that he wasn't sleeping. Did he feel the satisfaction she did? Did being so near bring him the same comfort? Rikku didn't want to ask.

Instead, she kept her eyes closed and allowed herself to picture Auron's face, mentally smoothing away the lines of tension and worry that usually marked him. Reaching up, she grabbed a strand of his long, coarse hair and cracked an eye open.

"Can I have this?" she asked quietly.

Auron grunted lazily in response, not bothering to turn around, and Rikku took that as a sign of acceptance. With a sharp jerk, she pulled the hair free of his head.

Auron twitched, grunting this time in pain and sat up, causing Rikku to lose her balance. He turned around and glared, and Rikku giggled as she twined the hair around her finger. "Something to remember you by," she murmured, before tucking the hair safely away in one of her pockets.

Opening his mouth to respond, Auron abruptly shut it again and looked at her closely. "I'm still here," he replied, searching her face.

_As long as you remember you have to wake up someday._

Rikku couldn't bring herself to reassure him with a smile, and instead turned to look at the Farplane. "I -" she started, and then stopped, squinting at the portal as two nebulous shadows formed behind the barrier. "I think they're back," she finished quickly, pointing at the barrier.

Jecht's voice bounced over the steps, sounding unnaturally loud to Rikku's ears as he exited the Farplane. "... besides my old man! It's cool and all, but I didn't see anyone I knew!"

Braska was right behind him, his modulated voice more muted than usual. "You should be thankful that you've known so little loss in your Zanarkand," he chided. The Summoner paused on the steps, catching sight of Rikku and Auron sitting together. He stared at them quietly, before looking away and climbing down the steps.

Rikku bit her lip and glanced uncertainly at Auron, whose brow had creased, before hopping off of the ledge. She straightened as Braska walked towards them, looking even more tired than he had during their trek through the snowfields. Even Jecht fell silent at Braska's unusually sullen approach, choosing instead to rub the back of his neck as he glanced at Rikku uneasily.

"He saw Raenn," Auron supplied under his breath, and Rikku nodded her head faintly in acknowledgement. She tensed as Braska stopped before her, studying her face intently. Still, he said nothing, and Rikku began to fidget under his piercing blue gaze.

"Umm... Braska?" she offered nervously, wondering why he was just standing there and looking at her as though he could see _through_ her.

Without warning, Braska reached out and caught a lock of her hair, still unbound. He smiled faintly before releasing it, though his eyes remained cool and icy.

"Put you hair back up, Rikkma." And once again, it sounded like an order, and not a request.

Rikku bit back the feeling of hurt that sprung up in her chest as Braska turned away and began ambling back down the path towards Guadosalam without even acknowledging her. The Summoner had withdrawn from them, though it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Heck, even Jecht could understand what was bothering Braska right now.

"So, do these Guado have any good pubs we could hit before we go?" Jecht asked loudly.

_Or maybe not,_ Rikku amended as she turned away from them and quickly began to separate and braid a few long strands of her hair.

Auron scowled, his mood obviously darkening as he brushed past Rikku to catch up to the other men. "Searching for a pub here would be inappropriate behaviour, even for someone like you," he answered brusquely.

"Hey! Whaddaya mean, _'someone like me?'_ I'm just a simple guy lookin' for a good time!" Jecht protested. "You need to lighten up, man."

Auron sucked in his breath to reply, but Braska had stopped and turned, this time turning his dispassionate gaze towards Auron. "Let him go," he said simply, giving Jecht a soft nod. "You have my permission to leave, Jecht. Do what you like, so long as you find us again by this evening."

"Hah! Hear that? Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Auron!" Jecht crowed, waving triumphantly as he jogged back towards the city – a disgruntled Auron and an unnaturally calm Braska left behind.

"My lord!" Auron finally sputtered, turning to Braska with a look of complete disbelief. "Why did you give that fool permission to drink himself into a stupor? We can't afford to allow him to embarrass –"

Braska waved his hand, silencing Auron's protest with a shake of his head. "You don't understand, Auron. Jecht needs this."

"Of course he _needs_ this!" Auron exploded. "He's a drunkard! He'll always _need_ to drink!" Taking a deep breath, Auron pinched the bridge of his nose and forced himself to calm down. "I understand if you're upset at us, but that's no reason to allow Jecht to run wild."

Braska's expression flickered slightly; his voice was weary, but with an air of long-suffering patience, he strove to answer the other man. "Auron, as much as he likes to hide it, Jecht is also only human." At Auron's frown, he gestured. "He misses his family."

Auron grimaced. "What family?" he asked. "I and half of Guadosalam clearly heard Jecht's claim that he didn't see anyone he recognized in there." He crossed his arms once more.

Braska offered him a small, humourless smile. "All the more reason to miss his family, wouldn't you say?" Though his tone was mild, Braska's words were uncharacteristically blunt and biting, his posture stiff. Auron remained silent, and Braska sighed with exasperation. "Let him go, Auron. It would be better for Jecht to attempt to overcome his sorrow in a place less steeped in them."

"... and what if he doesn't?" Auron said it as more than mere possibility. "Are we to allow him to drink his way through the rest of this Pilgrimage?"

"Jecht is stronger than you think," Braska snapped. "He _will_ overcome this in time."

"_Perhaps_," Auron replied, and Braska fell silent at the unvoiced accusation of hypocrisy. A tense moment stretched between the two men; they both kept their gaze away from the girl behind them.

It was Auron who broke first. He let out a heavy sigh and rubbed an uneasy hand through his hair, scooping it back up into its usual ponytail. "This is ridiculous." Looking up at Braska, his deep frown eased somewhat and his tone, while frustrated, was no longer fuelled with anger. "All of Spira is steeped in sorrow. Leaving the walls of Guadosalam won't allow Jecht to escape it any more than finding solace in a bottle would."

Some of the stiffness faded from Braska's posture, but the corners of his mouth were pulling into a wry grin. "It's strange, but I had always thought I would be happier to hear you finally standing up to me." He half-turned and looked over at Rikku, her body still bent away from them and struggling with her wild hair, and the faint hint of humour faded from his expression. "Sometimes, Auron," he said, "we need to forget, no matter what the price."

Auron finally allowed himself to follow Braska's example, watching Rikku. The illumination of the Farplane cast bluish halo around the outline of her form while at the same time encasing her body in shadows. It reminded him of the battle with the Espada, of how the brightness of the harsh sun glinting off the snow had contrasted with the strange creature's unnatural light-absorbing shell.

Looking at Rikku, Auron understood that they were arguing over more than Jecht's drinking habits; he also realized that he had let himself be goaded into making a choice. A choice that apparently didn't suit Braska, even if his Summoner had been the one doing much of the goading. A stab of uncertainty plagued him, and Auron grimaced in displeasure at the unfamiliar feeling. His life had always been lived on the principals of certainty - he knew who he was, what he believed in and where he was going. Those things were crumbling now, like sandcastles washed away in the tide. They had been since his fall from Yevon's grace, but meeting Rikku had turned slow erosion into a cascading avalanche. Maybe it was no coincidence that she looked so like the fiend that had nearly destroyed them in the snowfields of Macalania. She might succeed where the Espada had failed. He looked away quickly, trying to focus on Braska's voice.

"I'm not angry at either of you," Braska was saying. "Rikkma cares deeply for you." A long, pained pause hung in the air, and Auron hid his wince. Braska's sandcastles were also crumbling into dust, creating a strange dichotomy in his usually placid demeanour. "You don't have to be ashamed of your own feelings for her," he said so softly that Auron nearly missed the words. "People can't control who they choose to love."

_Love__?_ Auron flinched at the word and Braska's head jerked up, as though remembering that the other man was still there. He visibly gathered his composure and smoothed his face into its usual smile, as though they had not been arguing just moments before. "It's not something you should fear, and she is no high priest's daughter. You have nothing to lose if you admit your true feelings and everything to gain."

And there it was; perhaps the one force that could stop the turmoil Rikku had released from destroying their small party. But it was only Braska, their _Summoner,_ who was strong enough to harness it - the one thing he clung to more tightly than his own grief. _Duty._ Auron's uncertainty faded into a sharp spike of anger. He held onto it for as long as he could, because it was marginally better than the shame.

"My true feelings?" Auron closed his expression. "My feelings don't matter, and neither do hers. What matters is the Pilgrimage –"

"No," Braska said vehemently. "Love IS what matters, Auron. It is the one thing that gives Spira her strength. Not the Pilgrimages, nor the Summoners..." He paused a moment and seemed to catch his breath. "Love… is what allows people to continue living in this world of Sin – what gives people their _true_ hope. Love of life, of this world… of self – but most of all love for others. My love for Raenn is what makes this Pilgrimage possible."

Auron looked at Braska, his expression hard. "And love for Rikkma could _end _it," he answered. "Yours _or_ mine... it doesn't really matter, does it?"

Braska's lips twitched into a bitter smile. "Always blunt, aren't you?" he noted. "I'm not ashamed of my own feelings, either. But I know what I need to do. Nothing will deter me from that path. You, on the other hand..." His face softened. "Auron, you will have your whole life ahead of you when we have completed our journey. Do you really want to spend the rest of that life alone?"

"Do you think me blind? I'm your Guardian before I'm your friend," Auron said stiffly. "My job is to protect you from harm, not to be the cause of it."

Braska pursed his lips together and resumed his slow pace down the rocky corridor. "That's exactly your problem, Auron. You still haven't fully understood which of your two roles is more important." He took a deep breath and spoke carefully, as though forming the words were difficult. "I'm asking you to follow your heart as a friend."

"And as your Guardian, I'm refusing," Auron replied.

The patter of rapid footsteps echoed down the hallway, and both men turned as Rikku approached them at a jog, still struggling to scoop her unruly hair into her trademark ponytail. "Hey, wait you guys!" she called out, tripping over her feet as a chunk of hair fell into her eyes.

"One day you might realize that you don't have the power to make that choice," Braska chided softly. He cut off any further discussion by bestowing a mild smile upon Rikku as she came to a stop beside them. "Rikkma. I must apologize for my rudeness just now. My request was a selfish one."

Rikku paused and blinked at Braska's phrasing and then glanced at Auron, who was pointedly looking in the opposite direction. _Just as well,_ Rikku thought to herself; being able to look _this_ Auron in the face wouldn't make her decision any easier. She took a deep breath, oblivious to the tension between the two men as she waded through her own jumbled thoughts.

_It's now or never._

Steeling herself, Rikku looked Braska squarely in the eye.

"Braska... I need to stay here a little longer. Will it be all right if I meet you back at the inn later? There's something I need to do."

Braska looked surprised at her request, frowning slightly. "Something you need to do? Did you change your mind about the Farplane?"

Rikku sucked in her breath, and then nodded her head quickly. "I have to see if I can... face my own memories," she supplied, proud that she managed to keep her voice from quavering. Apparently not enough, however, as Auron finally turned and gave her a perturbed look.

Braska's expression softened. "So you'll be leaving us, then?" he asked, and Rikku couldn't help but shiver once again at his choice of words.

"I..." She swallowed, feeling Auron's eyes boring into her. "I just need to go see," she mumbled.

"Ah," Braska said quietly. Then he gave her a genuine, heartbreaking smile. "We'll be at the inn until tomorrow morning," he replied. "Take as long as you need." With a short bow, he turned and continued down the passage. Auron held back, still staring at Rikku.

"How long _will_ you need?" he asked her quietly, searching her face.

Rikku hesitated. Even if it was time for her dream to end, she couldn't just leave without saying some sort of goodbye, not now, when she'd finally managed to steal a little piece of happiness for her own heart.

"I don't know," she admitted truthfully. "But if I'm not back by tomorrow morning, don't wait up for me."

For once, Auron didn't grow angry, as she expected him to do. Instead, he simply looked grim. "Braska already knows you're planning to leave us, doesn't he?"

Rikku shook her head rapidly, blinking her eyes. "I don't know. I mean I don't want to, but I –"

Auron cut her off. "No... don't tell me. Do what you need to do."

Rikku gaped. "What, no arguments? Since when did you get so understanding, huh? What exactly did Braska say to you anyway?"

Auron sighed and passed a hand over his eyes. After a moment's pause, he answered her. "Sometimes... we need to put friendship over duty." He uncovered his eyes and gave her a hard look. "Go, then. Do whatever it is that you need to."

Rikku stared at him. "Auron..." she whispered. "I'm sorry for being so selfish."

Auron studied her for a moment longer. "I need to be with Braska now," he answered. "But I'll wait for you, Rikku."

Rikku swallowed and watched him walk away. _"I'll wait for you,"_ he had said. Not _"we'll wait for you."_ Just _he._ Auron.

Rikku bit her lip, hard.

* * *

_**AN:**__ A very big thanks to Fwe for a much-needed beta and conceptual ass-kicking on this chapter. My apologies that it came so late; a lot of real life happenings occurred that I don't want to elaborate on, other than to say they were not pleasant. Your reviews inspired me to keep going, so thank you for sticking with this story and making me stick with it, too._


	23. Plant Plié

**- Chapter 23: ****Plant Plié**** -**

Rikku loitered at the end of the darkened path, trying to decide whether the heaviness in her stomach was the result of guilt or relief. _Or maybe it's just that Guado spicy bread I had earlier._ Sucking in her breath, she balled her hands into fists and marched determinedly towards the portal leading into the Farplane.

The roughly hewn stone steps were steep; hesitating at their base, Rikku gathered her courage and raised her head. Even in the past, it looked the same as ever - the red stone hexagon impossibly etched into Guadosalam's darkened walls, surrounded by mist and pyreflies. Six cloudy windows surrounded the portal that framed the doorway into another dimension; it was a work no mortal hand could have created, and yet somehow it was too ethereal and perfect to have been achieved by nature alone.

It was though the gateway itself was summoned into existence - but no one could answer the question of how it came to be. According to legends, it had existed long before the art of Summoning. The Farplane was eternal, an ancient and sacred place even in Shuyin and Lenne's era a thousand years ago; the portal was as much a part of Spira as its sky and seas. Perhaps it was the Farplane itself that had created the Summoners, and not the other way around.

And all too suddenly, Rikku realized her feet had carried her directly before Spira's eternal mystery. She shook her head and tried to remind herself of Al Bhed lore - that the Farplane was nothing more than the home of the pyreflies, that it wasn't truly a bridge between the world of the living and the dead. Then she let out a soft sigh. _Who am I kidding? I don't believe those teachings anymore._ She thought of Braska, of even Yuna's unshakable faith despite everything the other girl knew and had seen.

_I guess even Al Bhed can be wrong sometimes. __We really do let our pride blind us, don't we?_ The portal seemed to sigh and ripple in response, pyreflies dancing around her. Souls, she'd told Jecht when he'd asked; she believed that now. They _were_ souls, releasing their sorrows as they sang nostalgic memories of their forgotten lives, searching for someplace to call a home, waiting to be reborn.

She stood in front of the portal and stared into the swirling light, then reached out and touched the almost-liquid barrier to the Farplane. It rippled under her palm like water, scattering fractured rays of light into the air. A wave of dizziness hit Rikku as a tickling sensation washed over her body. _It's not cold like before._ Bright colors beckoned to her, and every sense was singing with anticipation. _If I could just break through,_ she thought to herself with a sudden, almost violent need. Somehow, she knew everything would be okay in the Farplane; every mistake she made, every question and uncertainty she felt would be set to rights. There would be no more doubting, no worrying about Sin's attacks, Jecht's drinking habits, Braska's depression, or even Auron's temper -

_Warmth, and the steady beat of a heart against her cheek._

Rikku's certainty wavered, but the feeling of _rightness_ pulled at her again, and she shook her head.

"This is what I want. This is what Spira needs."

The harshness of her own words was startling. Rikku really didn't enjoy the sound of her own voice, despite Brother's petulant claims to the contrary whenever they would argue. She thought it too childish and high-pitched; she couldn't manage Lulu's smooth, throaty timbre without sounding like she had a terrible chest cold, and she didn't even bother trying to emulate the musical, breathy pitch that Yuna achieved naturally. But somehow, hearing her own imperfect voice echoing in her ears broke the incessant need to pass through the barrier. If everything was _right_ behind it, why did her voice still sound so _wrong?_

The strange pull, the feelings of nostalgia and contentment the Farplane brought to its visitors was no surprise to Rikku, though she was uneasy at their intensity. Still - everyone felt the pull to some extent when surrounded by the otherworldly atmosphere. Despite the feelings it evoked, however, there was always something slightly off about it - as beautiful as it was, most people were eager to return to the rest of the world when their visit was over.

Here, though, it was different. The Farplane's call felt _perfect;_ there was no longing to return to the real world. It was as though the slight oddness, the strange dichotomy between comfort and alienation a visit usually evoked had vanished completely. In fact, being this close to the portal made Rikku feel as though the rest of the world was slightly off, rather than the Farplane itself: like putting on a pair of glasses and seeing the world come into focus for the first time. Only it wasn't her sight that had sharpened, but her feelings.

_It's like... coming home,_ Rikku thought to herself. The way Home had felt, before Yevon had blown it to bits. Or maybe the way the Celsius felt, after all the time she'd spent on it as a Gullwing. With a sudden pang, Rikku realized how much she missed her Brother's scolding, Buddy's even-tempered interventions, even Shinra's boasting.

The Farplane's entrance churned uneasily, jagged streaks of shadow trailing after her fingers where they penetrated the light, reflecting and amplifying her own doubts. Rikku frowned to herself; why was she hesitating? She stared into the now-murky depths of the portal. The sense of longing fought for dominance over her newfound reluctance.

_Because he's waiting for you._ The darkness in the portal spread, mingling with the clear light and turning it into a distorted swirl of grey clouds. "You can't be of two minds," Rikku mumbled to herself. That was what Auron had told her, wasn't it? To choose one path and to follow it. She frowned to herself. Wasn't that exactly what she was forcing Auron to do? To choose between protecting Braska and pursuing her? Between his feelings as a Guardian and her selfish desires for affection?

She thought fleetingly of Auron as she'd known him during Yuna's Pilgrimage; he had possessed a dedication to duty that would have impressed even the younger one she'd come to understand. She wondered if Auron would even recognize who he'd become in the future, if he could know. The thought of Auron meeting himself stilled her confusion.

_No... he wouldn't be surprised,_ Rikku concluded with reluctance. _I keep trying to fool myself but in the end, they're still the same person._

Steeling herself, Rikku leaned into the portal. The warmth blanketed her as it never had before, and a small sigh of release escaped from her lips.

_Is this what it's like when you die? Is this what he felt that time? No wonder he didn't want to stay with the rest of us..._

Something warm traced a path down her cheek, tickling the side of her nose. Instinctively, Rikku's tongue darted out and met with the taste of salt. She realized with some surprise that both of her cheeks were wet.

_Why am I crying? It's just the Farplane!_

But it wasn't; she was drowning in emotions, as though the Farplane was turning every stray thought she had into powerful feelings that assaulted her. She couldn't shake the image of him turned away from them, gruff and tired, his graying hair bathed in the ethereal light of Sin's destruction even as his soul dissolved into light and sound before her very eyes and _he never looked back, not even once -_

A familiar whistle filled Rikku's ears, one that was steadily growing louder.

_I've heard this before. It's like pyreflies screaming..._

The whistle became a roar, and Rikku finally recognized it as the faint strains she'd heard in the Farplane Wind she'd pulled from the Espada. But the strand she had pulled was only a simple melody; the Farplane itself was pure, orchestrated chaos. Despite the screaming in her ears there was no discomfort, only light and sound. It was the direct opposite of the painful, abrupt shock she'd felt before the Chamber of the Fayth; if anything, the cries were almost seductive, hypnotizing her with its pull.

The Legendary Guardian hadn't looked back, not for Yuna, not even for Tidus. But the young man who had yet to fill that role, the man with the smooth-skinned face and two eyes had sought her out in the darkness of Guadosalam, had told her he would wait for her.

Suddenly scared, Rikku tried to pull back. Maybe Bahamut was right; maybe she wasn't ready yet. Her hand, though, refused to cooperate, no matter how much she tugged. A spike of panic shot through her and she stopped physically struggling.

"Let me go," she demanded querulously, as though the Farplane itself was a living entity. There was no answer but her body remained stationary, arm outstretched, even as her mind raced. Then she felt it; a change in the song of the pyreflies, a presence she was coming to know all too well.

_Bahamut!_ Rikku whipped her head around, searching for the usual manifestation of his child-form, but all she saw was light and color. "You're not going to hold me here! Not this time!" she yelled out loud. Gritting her teeth, Rikku struggled against her partial-paralysis. With enough effort, she realized she could shift her body forward, but it still felt like she was trying to wade through Wakka's hair gel. Experimentally, Rikku shifted her weight backwards; movement, she realized, was easier when she stopped trying to push her way forward into the Farplane. Gritting her teeth with frustration, Rikku focused instead on dropping her hand.

As if sensing her capitulation, the hold on her body eased, and Rikku grimaced. It wasn't very fun being held hostage by an aeon, and not even knowing how or why he was doing it. As soon as she could move freely, her hand darted to her belt. It was a long shot, but Rikku remembered the shock she'd experienced the first time she used it in Bevelle - the white lightning that had raced through her veins. If the pain it caused was the exact opposite of the warmth and comfort of the Farplane, then maybe it was just what she needed to shock herself out of Bahamut's grasp. _It's time this rotten luck started working for me,_ Rikku thought viciously as she launched herself forward and activated the grid.

She wasn't disappointed; a jolt shot through her fingers, a sharp stab of pain that would have made her scream if she could move her jaws. _It worked, it worked!_ Rikku thought triumphantly. She opened her watering eyes as she fell through the wall of light to watch the ground rise up to meet her -

- and pulled up short, her mouth twisted open in a cry of surprise as her body was suspended in mid-step. Even her hair had stopped falling around her face; her body was tilted at an angle that by all rights should have had her performing a painful face-plant into the rocky outcrop before her nose. But she wasn't falling; she was frozen. She couldn't even move her eyeballs to look to either side. And, Rikku realized, she didn't need to, because the body of a small, ancient child appeared before her.

_"Bahamut!"_ she yelled. Or at least, she tried to. All she managed to do was stare rather ineffectually at a point a few inches below Bahamut's hooded face, since she couldn't even roll her eyes upwards to look him in the - hood, most likely. Nobody to her knowledge had ever seen the aeon's eyes, at least not in his "human" form.

_I told you not to come here._ She wondered how he managed to sound scolding despite the monotone of his voice.

She felt the muscles on her face relax slightly, and she fixed her glare on Bahamut's face immediately. "What about Spira? You know, it's not like I could be changing the fate of _the rest of the world_ or anything, huh!"

_You really believe yourself so important?_ he answered her calmly.

Rikku felt her anger boiling over, even as his words hit her pride with a stinging slap. "So what if I'm not Yuna?" she snapped rebelliously. "That doesn't mean you can play around with my life! What kind of sick joke is this? Why are you doing this to me?"

Bahamut paused before answering her; he sounded almost amused, if that was possible. _Still thinking of only yourself, even now? Perhaps your hubris makes you who you are._

_At least I'm alive,_ she wanted to spit back venomously. But she couldn't. She couldn't even look him in the non-eyes. Rikku wondered if there was a special hell for Al Bhed heretics who talked back to god-like aeons. _If there wasn't, Bahamut would probably make one just for me. Maybe I'm there right now._

_Go back and join them,_ she heard him say. _You must see this through to the end. This journey was your own wish; don't run away from it. You must be strong enough to live your dream._

Her anger was subsiding, replaced by a sense of shame. He was right, she realized - everything that had happened was only what she'd wanted; to feel important, to have Auron look at her with something more than irritation. In her attempt to run away from her own life and live in her regrets for the past, she'd forgotten to embrace the future. She hasn't realized what a stupid wish it was, and now Bahamut wasn't going to let her have a take-back. With a sinking sensation, she put up a last feeble protest. "But I can't. I can't face them like this!"

_You don't have a choice anymore._ He was growing brighter as he said that; it hurt to see, and Rikku cringed, instinctively ducking away from the light and shielding her eyes. In that moment she realized she could control her body again and whipped her head forward.

"Wait -!"

The two Guado sentries standing in front of her spun around, lances at the ready, and eyed her suspiciously. One leaned over and mumbled something to the other in the native Guado tongue, and Rikku didn't need to be trilingual to know that he hadn't said anything complimentary. With a laugh, the two guards turned around and ignored her.

Straightening out of her crouch, Rikku realized that was probably a good thing. She couldn't spare the time to be embarrassed at her sudden appearance at the entrance to the path leading to the Farplane; more pressing was the question of _how_ she'd even gotten there. She hadn't even felt anything; one minute she was shooting the mental breeze with Bahamut in the Farplane, and the next she was being laughed at by the guards in Guadosalam.

Turning around, Rikku looked at the path to the portal - now calm and no longer murky - and let out a slow, irritated huff. "Well... that was an aeon-sized door slam if I ever saw one," she muttered to herself, adjusting her braids. Lifting her chin and doing her best to ignore the smirking Guado, Rikku marched past the guards and towards the city. There really was only one place to go, she realized, even as her feet began taking her back towards the inn.

"No use crying over spilled milk," she told herself. "Besides, he's waiting for me, right?"

She almost thought she could hear Bahamut laughing and tried to ignore it as she stomped down the dimly lit pathway. _Me and my stupid, selfish dreams. Why couldn't I just let go?_ Suddenly, seeing Auron didn't seem as exciting of a prospect as it had before; in fact, the entire city of Guadosalam was losing its fascination. The eternal, sleepy twilight of the underground cavern made her restless; the walls were too close, the lichen lights too wane, the air too rank. More than ever, Rikku felt a need to see sunlight, to have fresh wind blowing in her hair and sand stretching endlessly before her. She was tired of the dank darkness that surrounded her, of the burden of the Pilgrimage. Her Al Bhed blood was calling to her, demanding release and freedom, and the urge to run away was nearly crushing.

Pivoting on her feet, Rikku turned and strode down another path that she hoped would lead to a release from the tightness that gripped her chest.

**.x.x.x.**

Dappled sunlight shone through the dense canopy. Auron was the first to emerge from the roots of the giant tree that housed the entrance to Guadosalam; his face was solemn and his head was lowered. Even so, the contrast of the bright sunlight after so much time traveling in darkness was painful, and he instinctively raised an arm before his face. When he finally lowered his hand, blinking, he saw her waiting and slowed to a stop.

Rikku kicked her boots against the root she was sitting on nervously. "Finally leaving?" she asked.

Auron squinted up at her with an inscrutable look on his face; somewhere, Rikku hoped that unfamiliar expression was hosting more than just surprise. Maybe... he was even a little relieved? No, Rikku decided, quashing her hopes stubbornly. To assume anything Auron didn't openly give away was just inviting trouble, she knew all too well. Still, he wasn't scolding her, so Rikku took that as a good sign.

Finally, Auron started moving again, this time towards her. He stopped at the base of the high root she was dangling off of, and Rikku noticed a few of the tense lines around his mouth and eyes easing as he nodded at her once.

A warm feeling flooded Rikku, and she found herself grinning back at him. "So, umm, hi," she said softly.

"You're still here," Auron replied, as if to confirm that she wouldn't turn around and high-tail it into the forest at the sound of his voice.

Rikku smirked. "Like chewing gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe," she answered.

Ignoring her, he stepped closer, his eyes dark and intense. Rikku swallowed; it was almost easier to face Auron when he was annoyed, as he usually was when dealing with her. This, though... this wasn't his _angry_ face. His eyes, she noted, lost none of their intensity, even when charged with an emotion other than rage or frustration. He lifted his hand halfway towards her, and then seemed to check himself.

"Lord Braska -" he began, his eyes dimming somewhat as a slight frown flitted across his features. The hesitation passed almost as quickly as it came, leaving Rikku to wonder if she imagined the whole thing. And then, he smiled at her. Auron _smiled._ At _her._

Rikku nearly fell off of the tree root.

"... Lord Braska is helping Jecht," Auron continued, ignoring Rikku's scrabbling attempts to recover and lower herself to the ground. "He'll be here soon, so perhaps you'd care to... prepare yourself." The last line was delivered with a definite tone of amusement, and Rikku righted herself quickly, her face burning crimson.

"I totally meant to do that," she said defensively as she struggled to lower her skirt, which had ridden high during her ungraceful slide to the forest floor.

"Al Bhed fashion," Auron muttered with a derisive snort, though she didn't miss the glint in his eyes as they swept over her legs. "Function before form, was it?"

Rikku huffed, picking a few leaves out of her hair. "Bevellian silk would've ripped, I'll have you know," she pointed out with a sulk.

"More's the pity," Auron mumbled, leaving Rikku to gape as he turned his back to her.

As if on cue, there was a loud grunt, and Rikku ducked around Auron and saw them - Braska slowly trudging out of the cave, with Jecht hanging heavily off of him. The Summoner's slight frame was bent almost comically under Jecht's massive and seemingly boneless body, dragging him with no small difficulty out of Guadosalam's darkness. Braska stopped when he saw her, and nearly fell over under Jecht's weight.

"Rikkma? We thought you'd left us last night. I'm very happy to see that you- ugh!" he gasped, cut off abruptly as he struggled to keep Jecht from tipping over.

Rikku felt her eyebrows lifting as she scurried to Braska's side. "Why aren't you helping him out?" she called out to Auron. "Aren't you like, I don't know, Mister Perfect Guardian all the time? Don't you think this counts as one of your duties?"

Auron shrugged, the humor in his eyes fading into a less-alien expression of annoyance as he eyed the blitzballer. "I hardly call having to bear Jecht's weight a life-threatening activity."

Jecht chose that moment to burp wetly and covered his mouth, and Braska winced. Rikku's steps slowed down; suddenly listening to the rest of Auron's argument seemed like a _really_ good idea. Her boots were white, after all; and, if she could help it, they'd stay that way. "Oh, uh, so, you got that covered all by yourself then, Braska?" she fumbled.

"Not really," Braska grunted, hefting Jecht upright once more.

"Don't help him," Auron snapped, freezing Rikku in surprise as she reached out to lend a hand. Braska met Auron's gaze and the two began a staring contest that was punctuated by Jecht's snores.

"Wait, so do you actually want me to help out or not?" she finally blurted in exasperation as tension crackled between the two men.

Auron sighed and broke off the staring contest to address her. "I suppose you could say Braska and I are trying to teach each other a lesson." He stopped and watched the two men struggling pathetically to reach him.

Finally, Rikku let out a loud sigh. "Guys, this is stupid." Then, cautiously - because she really _was_ serious about keeping her boots white - she leveled a sharp kick at Jecht.

"OWW!" the huge man roared, shoving off of Braska and flailing wildly. He spun directly into a patch of bright sunlight and collapsed in a messy pile of limbs onto the ground. After a few moments of groaning, Jecht finally raised a meaty palm over his face to block the glare. "Whoa, tell somebody to turn off the lights," he mumbled hoarsely before dropping his arm over his eyes.

Rikku winced. "Uhh... that didn't work out like I planned," she mumbled as she kneeled by Jecht's side to help him up. Almost immediately she wished she hadn't as she caught a whiff of his breath. _Whoa... Braska inhaled that at close range? His respect points just went up about 300 percent! _Pinching her nose shut with two fingers, Rikku tried to breathe through her mouth. "Ewww! Gross! Have you been marinating yourself in alcohol?" she yelled, scrambling to her feet. Jecht was hardly in a state to be able to answer her, mumbling something incoherent under his breath, and Rikku didn't bother making an effort to understand what he was saying. She was too glad that his head was pointing _towards the ground_ while he was saying it. Instead, she looked to Braska for an explanation. "Why do you put up with this?" she asked him, exasperated.

Braska paused with an odd expression. "You almost sound like Auron," he told her. It shifted into a heartfelt, if somewhat reserved smile. "We all struggle with our demons," he told her simply as he knelt beside her and reached for Jecht once more.

_How does he do that?_ Rikku wondered to herself as she sucked in her breath and dutifully shouldered some of Jecht's weight. With just a few simple words, Braska made her feel guilty for _not _putting up with Jecht's 80-proof cabbage-wilting breath. As they struggled to stand Jecht upright, she noticed that Auron was still watching them with disinterest, rather than joining the cause. "Why aren't you helping?" she asked.

"It's not Auron's duty to help," Braska replied tightly.

Auron stiffened and shook his head. "The best way to help Jecht is to keep moving. He'll walk it out of his system." And then he turned around began strolling away from them.

_The nerve of that guy -!_

Rikku raised a hand. At least, she tried to; Jecht stumbled, and both she and Braska grunted as they caught him. "You need to go on a diet," she grumbled to the drunken man. "Hey, Auron! Little problem with your plan there. How can he walk it out of his system if he can't, you know, walk?"

"Where there's a will, Yevon will provide a way," Auron answered smugly.

"Yevon?" Rikku scowled openly. "I don't look like Yevon. Hey Braska, do you look like Yevon?" Without waiting for him to answer she continued talking, pitching her voice louder so Auron could hear it. He was making it increasingly difficult to do so by quickening his pace to stay ahead of them. Not that it was very difficult when they were struggling with a near-comatose Jecht. Maechon could probably outpace them at the rate they were going.

"Wait! Come back! Our girly-muscles can't carry Jecht! This should be your job!" she railed.

"Girly?" Braska mumbled under his breath in dismay. "Do you think I look like a woman, Rikkma?"

Rikku weighed the benefits of screaming out her frustration before deciding it would only cause her to inhale too much of Jecht's tainted air. "Don't jump to conclusions just because you wear your hair longer than mine!" she huffed.

"You do," Braska concluded miserably, and Rikku sagged under his disgruntlement. Literally, as the brunt of Jecht's bulk leaned into her side. The groggy blitzballer's head lolled onto her shoulder, and Rikku received a full frontal blast as Jecht let out another loud snore directly into her face.

_Oh, forget it. I didn't __really need a supply of fresh air anyway._ "Hey hey hey!" she yelled to Braska as she shoved Jecht back over, her voice shrill. "Focus on Jecht right now!"

"Try not to let him get his hands on anything else to drink while I scout ahead," Auron added, scanning the forest before them. "I can keep the fiends from doing any damage, but I can't stop Jecht from creating his own problems."

"Great, who's the babysitter now?" Rikku complained.

"I ain't no baby..." Jecht mumbled, drifting in and out of consciousness.

"Jecht is hardly a child," Braska concurred, and Rikku hid her scowl. _Why does he always have to be so responsible and nice?_ Jecht smelled like the ass he currently was, and not even Braska's principles could carry him far enough away to ignore it. She opened her mouth to say as much when suddenly Jecht's weight shifted and Rikku found herself supporting far more of it than she had before. She grunted and looked up from the sudden onslaught in surprise, only to find Braska standing in front of her, rolling his shoulders.

"He only resorts to drinking as a method of escape," Braska told her in the same effable tone. Rikku didn't like the look of his placid smile. Well, theoretically, it wasn't any different than his normal smile, but the fact that he wasn't holding Jecht up anymore was setting off all sorts of mental alarms. "What he really needs is someone to cheer him up. Someone with a bright and lively personality."

Rikku blinked. _He can't be serious._ "You can't be -"

"... speaking of you? Why, yes, Rikkma. That's exactly what I was thinking as well. So, please. Do your best to cheer him up!" Braska turned and began walking away from them as quickly as his robes would allow.

"Hey! HEY! Where do you think you're going?" Rikku called out after him.

"It would be irresponsible to let Auron scout alone." Dimly, she noted that for wearing a multitude of floor-sweeping robes, Braska could move quickly when he chose to. Jecht chose that moment to let out another burp, and Rikku panicked.

"HEY! Wait just a minute! I'm Auron's fiend-kicking partner, not you! HEEEY! Don't leave me here with him!"

Braska and Auron were already out of sight by the time Rikku managed to close her working jaw. "Oh well... I guess this is my punishment for letting them think I was leaving," Rikku sighed to herself. "Come on, stinky. It's just you and me for now."

**.x.x.x.**

"We're getting nowhere fast," Rikku mumbled to herself, wiping some sweat from her brow. She leaned back and took a long drink of water from her flask, eyeing the slumbering man from the corner of her eye. Auron and Braska had been true to their word so far; not a single fiend had yet dared disturb to them on the forest path. Still, even with the lack of fighting traveling through the forest was anything but easy. Jecht was heavy and more than once, Rikku wondered if she should don a dressphere to ease the journey.

She fingered her belt uncertainly and looked down the path. _What if Auron comes back?_

Jecht let out another loud snore, and Rikku groaned to herself. "If we don't catch up with him soon, he _will_ have to come back." She looked at her sphere grid sternly. "Please, please, please don't hurt, okay?" Then she fingered the dressphere one last time before activating it.

As the familiar light washed over her, she felt her thoughts darkening. _This was a terrible idea._ She spun slowly, her hand reaching out and grasping the sword that materialized in her palm. Then, with a heavy sigh, she planted it into the ground before her, eying Jecht with barely-muted disgust while shaking the cherry blossom petals out of her hair. "Wake up."

Jecht let out a snore and turned on his side. "'S too early, Auron. Go 'way."

Rikku felt her eyebrow tick in annoyance. "Jecht. Do I sound like a man to you?"

Jecht grumbled, pushing his face into the mossy earth. "Sounds 'nough like Auron t'me."

Rikku felt her significantly shortened temper snap almost audibly. "Clean slate!" she shouted, flinging a hand towards Jecht. She followed the defiant gesture almost immediately with another, containing the remaining contents of her water flask, flung directly into Jecht's face. "Now stand up, and start acting like a man instead of a diseased primate, you moron!"

Jecht managed to collect his scattered senses in record time, the alcoholic stupor burning out of his body from her spell. He spat and threw his now-soaked bangs out of his face and glared at Rikku. "What the hell did you do, Blondieeeee...." He trailed off, eyes widening as he looked her over from head to foot. Then he rubbed his eyes and looked again. "Uh, did I get thrown into the future with Auron and Rikkma's kid or somethin'?"

"No, you didn't." Rikku folded her arms and settled on a harsh glare. "If you have something to say... think very, very carefully about it first. Or better yet, don't even bother." She tapped the hilt of her sword for emphasis.

Jecht considered her words for a moment and then shrugged, struggling to his feet and carefully avoiding the reach of her weapon. "Whatever. S'not my business who you stalk," he added with a snicker.

Rikku's mouth tightened into a thin line. Why on earth had she ever thought Jecht was amusing? Well, he was _funny,_ but not in the _ha-ha_ way. Right about now it seemed more like _funny_ in the _off with your head, weirdo_ way. She eyed her sword thoughtfully, fingers twitching.

"So why'd you wake me up? Where the hell are we? And where's Braska?" Jecht squinted, taking in the unfamiliar forest surrounding them with a surprising measure of aplomb. Rikku opened her mouth to reply, but Jecht waved lazily, cutting her off. "Naw, don't tell me. I bet he's with Auron doin' their _guardian duty_ thing, right? You wouldn't be in that getup if the stiff was around."

Rikku sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I woke you because we need to catch up with them." _You idiot,_ she appended silently. "Being unconscious tends to be a detriment to efficient traveling." She fidgeted uncomfortably. "Besides, we need to find Lord Braska. He's in the middle of an argument with Auron right now - no thanks to you, by the way - and I'd prefer if we were there to protect him in case something happens."

Jecht only shook his head, staring at her once more. "Damn, ya even cloned the stick up his ass! Don't use that costume too often, all right? It's bad enough already when there's one of him."

Rikku closed her eyes and began to count to ten backwards.

"But at least ya make that jacket look hot. Nice wraps, too! I mean the ones up there," Jecht added, motioning at her chest. "Those things on yer feet just look kinda retarded. Still, maybe you should give Auron some stylin' tips, eh?"

Rikku gave up counting and grabbed her sword. Counting was overrated anyway. So was blitzball, when push came to shove. "Zantetsu!" she yelled.

Jecht picked at his ear and then inspected his finger thoughtfully. "Never heard Auron say that before," he noted. "Nice and dramatic, though. Right up his alley. Uh, how long are you gonna point that thing at me?"

Somewhere overhead, a fiend cawed.

"Shoot," Rikku finally muttered, lowering her sword in defeat. "Fine. Let's move," she grunted sourly, shoving her way past Jecht and stomping down the path, her eyes fixed on the ground.

"Well, I would, but -"

Rikku spun around, the last bits of her temper fraying. "You're impossible!"

Jecht jogged to catch up with her, pulling his own sword off of his back. "Yeah, but -"

"Oh, so you want to actually fight me now? Please! You wouldn't stand a chance against this costume!" Rikku railed. "You wouldn't stand a chance even _without_ this costume!"

"Hey! Take it easy, Blondie! I was just tryin' to tell ya that -"

Frustrated, Rikku whipped her own sword around and pointed it at Jecht. "Will you just for once in your life do something intelligent and _shut up?_"

Something roared in agreement behind her, and Rikku blanched.

"... yeah, see, there's this big green thing with just about a million tentacles an' a skirt standin' in the middle of the road, is all," Jecht finished, dropping into a battle crouch.

"Sweet Yevon, why me?" Rikku groaned to herself as she turned around slowly to face the Ochu.

"Say, is that thing... dancing?" Jecht replied incredulously, tilting his head as the beast undulated back and forth hypnotically. "... actually, it ain't half bad." He even began to sway in time with the Ochu, mimicking its motions. "That plant's got some sweet moves! Say, I know a few clubs in Zanarkand that could really use talent like that..."

This seemed to appease the Ochu, which stopped dancing and began to preen itself with its tentacles. For some reason, the sight was just too surreal. Here she was, a _Guardian,_ trying her best to save Jecht, _another Guardian,_ from Yevon-knew-what in the forest so they could get back to their job, which was to _protect Braska._ And what was her hapless companion doing? He was _flirting with a plant!_

"Stop dancing and kill it!" Rikku roared, hefting her sword over her head. She hadn't yet decided which of the two she was going to rush, but her outburst apparently upset whatever atmosphere Jecht had been cultivating with the Ochu through his moonwalk. The Ochu let out another loud-mouthed roar and belched a cloud of yellow pollen from its impressive mouth.

Rikku would have seen red, were it not for the pollen descending over her. Instead, all she saw were stars and darkness. It felt like she were wading through molasses, and in the misty haze that refused to clear, she couldn't tell where the Ochu - or Jecht for that matter - was. Something slapped Rikku on her butt, and she instinctively whirled around and slammed her sword down on it.

_I hope that was Jecht,_ she thought viciously as she heard a roar of pain. Then, ignoring the two blurry figures moving around her - it looked like they were both dancing again - Rikku concentrated on focusing her willpower on herself. "Clean slate," she mumbled, waving a hand fuzzily in front of her own face. Almost instantly, the yellow fog lifted, and Rikku felt her senses clearing. She blinked, and watched as Jecht rushed past her. Then she blinked again as she was bathed in yellow once more - this time in sap, rather than pollen. A few tentacles flopped to the ground next to her, and Rikku looked up in time to see Jecht hacking away at the Ochu with his sword. His style lacked any sort of finesse whatsoever, but he made up for it with determination and speed. She noted with some disappointment that Jecht still seemed to have both of his hands before hefting her sword and rushing in to help him.

A few short but incredibly messy chops later, the former Ochu lay in pieces on the floor, and Rikku was kneeling by her sword, panting. Jecht was flat on his back, nearly plastered to the ground by the yellow goop that the Ochu had spewed all over them.

_Paine always __**was**__ better at this dressphere than me,_ Rikku thought sourly as she surveyed the damage they had caused. Sighing, she deactivated the sphere grid; apparently mixing the remnants of Auron and a real, live Jecht was destined to have disasterrific results. Still, some of her annoyance faded alongside the samurai costume, as well as the pressing need to jump up and set off at a run down the path until they found Braska.

"This is so gross," Rikku commented as she shucked an armful of goop off of her head. "Why can't Ochu guts just pyrefly away like normal fiends do?" she moaned. The answer was simple; wild Ochus weren't really fiends, they were just native and unusually sentient plants. Life really was unfair sometimes.

Frowning and parting her bangs, Rikku looked around to find Jecht, who was being unusually silent. He hadn't moved from his spot on the ground, still staring into the forest's canopy with wide eyes. "Jecht? Hey, are you all right?"

"I took it down," he muttered softly. Then he sat up, his eyes gleaming and his fists clenched. "I took it down! By myself! Without Auron! Well, okay, with you dressed as him, but that don't count! Did ya see that?" With a whoop, Jecht somersaulted off of the ground and began dancing around the Ochu's remains, even going so far as to pick up a severed tentacle and swing it around his head like a lasso. "Yeah, baby! I'm the best!" he crowed triumphantly.

Rikku shook her head, trying to stifle a giggle. He looked ridiculous, covered with Ochu juice and dancing around like a madman with the Ochu's tentacle wrapped around his head like a macabre bandana. It was a little bit weird, a little bit cute, and a little bit stupid... and kinda like Tidus when she thought about it, actually. Her sniggers died out, and Rikku watched Jecht performing his victory dance with a wistful smile. _I really wish Tidus could've known his dad like this._ Then she shook her head. _Well, I'll just have to tell him when I get back, then!_

"Jecht!" she yelled, causing him to stop mid-spin and slip on a patch of slime, which he landed on with a wet splat. "Ooh, that looked like it hurt," she added, wincing.

"It's just the sweet pain of victory," Jecht answered happily.

"Well, get over your sweet pain, buster," Rikku replied. "We've still gotta catch up with Braska and Auron. Last one there's a Yevonite!"

"Hah! You'll be eatin' those words, Blondie!" Jecht yelled, springing to his feet. He stopped as Rikku turned around suddenly, nearly knocking her over.

"Oh, and Jecht? Could you... umm... y'know, _not_ tell Auron about that... little... uh... thing..."

Smirking, Jecht picked up the end of his Ochu tentacle and smacked her forehead with it. "Are ya kiddin'? That stuff is quality blackmail material. I'm gonna save it for something important!" His mischievous grin was infectious, however, and Rikku found herself smiling back with real gratitude.

"Thanks, Jecht. You're a good guy, under all that... stuff," she added, wrinkling her nose. "Oh, and see ya!" With a cheeky wave, Rikku spun around and took off down the path at a run, laughing.

"Cheater!" Jecht yelled after her. He didn't follow her, however, as she disappeared around a bend in the road. Instead, he looked back at the mangled remains of the Ochu thoughtfully. "By myself, huh," he repeated with a note of pride, fingering his sword. "Maybe I can do this after all." Then he picked up the dripping end of the tentacle, still wrapped around his forehead, and inhaled deeply. A deep grin crossed his face, for he'd finally figured out something that not even Rikkma knew.

Ochu juice was fermented.

* * *

_**AN:**__ Clean Slate = "__Restore HP and cure user of status ailments__" ; Zantetsu = "__Instantly defeat one enemy. Sometimes fails" Big thanks to Fwe, my lovely beta, and also to reviewers!_


	24. The Shoopuf Incident

**- Chapter 24: The Shoopuf Incident -**

Rikku jogged to a stop, leaning over and panting when the riverbank came into sight. "I'm getting out of shape," she huffed, before finally looking around. There really was no need to push herself so hard, Rikku knew, but Jecht was pretty fast and she _did_ have her pride to keep. Forehead itching, Rikku mopped the sweat from her brow. She pulled her fingers away and inspected the telltale traces of yellow on her palm, wincing. The defeat of the Ochu had been anything but flawless, and the humidity and heat were combining her sweat and the Ochu sap in unpleasant ways, making her skin itch and crawl.

With a sigh, Rikku fell to her knees on the sand and dipped her hands into the cool, refreshing water, rinsing off her sticky arms and face. When she felt somewhat human again, she patted her cheeks quickly and sat back with a contented sigh.

The sun was perched at its zenith in the sky, and only a few pyreflies were dancing over the calm waters of the Moonflow. Even so, the sight was still magical to Rikku. Moonlilies swayed gently in the breeze as pyreflies threaded their way between the plants, making it seem as though the river itself were alive and gently exhaling light and color with each breath. It was even more spectacular at nightfall, when the pyreflies would gather among the lilies en masse and light up the river like a ribbon of moonlight that had fallen from the sky. It was a pity it wasn't twilight, Rikku thought, and she suspected Auron wouldn't let them wait for it. Still, she allowed herself to drink in the sight.

Since Yuna had defeated Sin, more people than ever had begun to explore their world. Fiends were still a traveling hazard, but with the Machine Faction's machina patrols and the ever-vigilant efforts of New Yevon and the Youth League, the roads had become much more densely packed. In a way, it was the same problem that was affecting all of post-Sin Spira: every natural resort, every last bastion of idyllic beauty, was slowly being settled and commercialized. It had happened in Guadosalam and also in Zanarkand; even the Moonflow of the future was suffering under the effects of the population's rapid expansion. Reaching out, Rikku plucked one of the plentiful moonlilies from the water and held the blossom in her hand. A pyrefly drifted around the plant lazily, shifting and blending the iridescent color of its reflective petals.

Rikku had mixed feelings about the development. On the one hand, seeing people civilize areas formerly too dangerous to settle made her Al Bhed senses tingle with pride. Much of the expansion wouldn't have been able to happen at all, if not for the willingness of her father to help and share their machina technology with the rest of the world - and Rikku had been right there beside him, using her skills to teach others how to use that technology. On the other hand, Yuna's stricken expression as she had seen what Cid had done to her beloved Zanarkand was burned into Rikku's memory, just as were the melting forests of Macalania. She took a deep breath and stared out over the river once more, trying to absorb its beauty. It was saddening, to think of how the sight would almost completely disappear in just a few short years. In her time the flowers had nearly died out, trampled underfoot by the constant traffic of shoopufs and machina transportation devices. Carefully, she placed the moonlily back into the water and watched it drift away.

With a sigh, Rikku let herself flop backwards onto the sandy bank, staring into the bright afternoon sky, her mind drifting towards her past, and Spira's future. This was the same spot she'd washed up on after Tidus and Wakka had thwarted her attempt to kidnap Yuna. She had to admit, lazing away the afternoon on the banks of the Moonflow was a lot more enjoyable when her face wasn't planted into the sand.

_You're not dead?_

A smile crossed over Rikku's face and she let her eyes close, imagining Tidus was right there, leaning over her with that goofy grin on his face.

_Rikku! You're Rikku! Heeey, you're okay!_

It almost seemed like someone else's memories to her now. Rikku let out another soft sigh and drew an arm over her face. _I'm not crying,_ she told herself stubbornly. Still, the memory of Tidus' infectious smile was nearly as bright as the midday sunlight shining from the sky. It was one of her most precious memories; her fateful second meeting with not only Tidus, but the chance to join Yuna and the rest of her guardians. She remembered clearly how clueless Wakka had been despite Tidus' near-slip; the disapproving press of Lulu's dark lips as she scolded Rikku for putting Yuna in danger; how amused Auron had sounded when he'd instructed her to actually open her eyes when looking at him -

With a start Rikku sat up, her eyes wide. _Amused?_ She frowned, replaying the memory over again in her head. His back had been turned as Yuna approached; Rikku hadn't even noticed him then, too caught up in her awe of Lulu's professional poise and beauty. She'd only realized that she was standing beside the Legendary Guardian himself when he turned to face them. And when she had seen his shielded, grim face masked by those dark sunglasses, the first thing she'd felt was an overwhelming jolt of fear. He had stepped in front of her, and Rikku feared he might have heard her knees knocking together. When he demanded that she look at him, she'd nearly wet her shorts; then, he'd forced her to open her eyes - well, one, at least - and she had been certain the game was up. She wasn't the only one to be left flabbergasted by Auron's easy acceptance afterwards; Tidus had even complained that she hadn't had to face a trial by Kimahri's lance. Rikku had responded with a quick kick to his shin while pointing out all the bruises he'd given her while destroying her submarine.

It wasn't until later, when she was smarting from both Macalania's stinging cold and Wakka's harsh rejection of their friendship that Rikku had begun to see the gruff man as _Auron_ rather than the _Legendary Guardian_. It had happened somehow between the moments that her face was buried into Auron's voluminous red cloak, trying to keep her tears from freezing to her cheeks as they rode towards the temple and his easy dismissal of the suspicious temple guard. That was, she had thought, the first time he had actually been kind to her. But as she reviewed her memories, the seed of doubt was planted. How much of it was colored by the capricious whims of a fifteen-year-old lovesick girl? She'd even had a crush on _Tidus,_ of all people, back at the beginning - at least before the blond had opened his mouth and ruined it for her. Now, though, she wondered.

She thought back carefully on the initial reaction she'd received from Yuna's Guardians when they first met. With the help of Yuna's reassurance, Lulu had accepted her after their private discussion. Wakka was too thick to understand and too good-hearted to question her sudden desire to join the group. Tidus was already in her corner and she'd known Kimahri would remain stoically silent, as Ronso tradition demanded. That had left only Auron to convince. He was anything but stupid; his single vigilant eye seemed to catch _everything_. Why had he, the most paranoid of all Yuna's guardians, allowed her to join the Pilgrimage so easily? He must have known she was the one piloting the submarine that kidnapped Yuna, and yet he acted as though she wasn't a threat. Facing away from the others, he had barely even noticed she was there. Or maybe, Rikku thought, his back had been turned because he didn't _want_ to see her.

_"Show me your face."_ She'd thought he was angry; with the filter of memory and experience, though, she understood that his gruff voice had actually been gentle. Had he been trying to reassure her because of her obvious fear? _"Look at me."_ No, he'd been stern then, annoyed with her evasiveness. And then...

_"Open your eyes."_

Rikku covered her mouth, and felt a shocked smile stretching over her face. He'd been _laughing _at her. A silent, grumpy unsent Guardian laugh, but a laugh all the same.

_"Are you certain?"_

Rikku's grin faded slowly. She'd heard that in the Farplane, too. Auron's voice, asking her if she was sure of her wish, her dream to see him. Maybe, Rikku thought with a shiver, he hadn't been asking for her sake. Maybe he'd known what was to come. Hadn't Bahamut told her that she _wasn't_ important?

_Does that mean my friends... Auron... they're going to die no matter what I do? What will happen to me? Will I die here with them, too?_ Rikku curled her knees into her chest and buried her face into her arms, the afternoon sun no longer warming her shoulders. The song of the pyreflies grew louder in her ears, her heart thundering in her chest. She couldn't be sure if her sudden panic was for her friends or for herself. So worried about the course of history and the flow of time, Rikku had never once seriously considered that _she_ might be a part of it - but every story had to end, didn't it? This cold, paralyzing feeling flooding her body - it was fear, Rikku realized.

She thought of Tidus, boldly leaping off the edge of the airship. How did he do it? How could he keep smiling and acting normal even when he knew what was coming? How did Yuna do it during her pilgrimage? Or even Braska?

What was Bahamut was trying to accomplish? The Fayth never did anything without a reason. Was it to change the world? Bahamut had all but said she couldn't affect the future. But, Rikku realized, even if _the world_ hadn't changed, _she_ had. The past was the past. And if the future, too, was set in stone, then maybe - just maybe - that was the reason she was here. To learn how to live in the present, rather than longing for what was, or what couldn't be.

_"Are you certain?" _Auron had asked her. Rikku took a deep breath and lifted her head, holding onto her idea and using it to beat down her rising fear. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she wouldn't go down without a fight. This was _her_ life, and it was _her_ story. It didn't matter where or how it ended; she'd make sure the journey was worth it.

"One hundred percent," she breathed softly, letting her memories fade.

**.x.x.x.**

She found Braska and Auron loitering at the edge of the way station away from their few fellow travelers, speaking quietly with one another. From the looks on their faces, it seemed their mutual disagreement still hadn't been resolved. Rikku wiped her hands off on her skirt and approached them with a cheery smile.

"Hey guys! What's up?"

"Where's Jecht?" Auron asked her immediately, not sounding entirely surprised to see her alone. "Wandering off to find his next watering hole?" He crossed his arms expectantly.

"I wish you'd have a little more faith in Jecht," Braska interrupted, frowning. "I'm sure he was delayed for a good reason." He looked at Rikku hopefully.

Rikku clasped her hands behind her back and began to sway on the balls of her feet self-consciously. She'd been looking forward to meeting up with the others again, but now felt as though she were a tiny bug under a giant magnifying glass, and that both men were pulling her legs in opposite directions. "Uhh, see, well, about that..."

"Don't worry. I would have left him behind, too," Auron supplied helpfully.

"Are you sure he's all right on his own?" Braska asked, a crease forming between his eyebrows. "Perhaps we should backtrack and try to find him."

Though they were addressing her, it seemed more like the two men were continuing to fire verbal volleys at one another. Rikku's neck was beginning to hurt from trying to track their conversation. "Umm, actually..." she began.

Auron cut her off, still glaring at Braska. "I'm not wasting my time by looking for him, and it appears that Rikkma isn't interested, either."

Braska's frown deepened, and he turned to face Auron fully. "Unless I'm mistaken, Rikkma chose not to leave us in Guadosalam. _All_ of us, _including_ Jecht."

Grimacing, Rikku gestured at the men's argument, muttering under her breath. A moment later, a large splash of water rained down over both of their heads, causing a few of the other passengers to glance their way and murmur, and even more of them to get up and leave for the central station. Auron stood stock-still and cursed softly under his breath, while Braska delicately picked the now-drooping tassel attached to his circlet away from his face. Rikku swallowed and reconsidered her bright idea when both men turned slowly to face her. For a moment the only sound punctuating their incredulous stares was the slow drip of water from their soaked clothing. "Ah, ha hah..." Rikku laughed, rubbing the back of her head. "So you see, there was this Ochu, and..."

"'EEEY!" a loud voice yelled, and Rikku spun around, half-expecting to see a jubilant blond blitzballer burst out of the forest. It wasn't Tidus who appeared by the riverbank this time, though, but Jecht. He was jogging unsteadily towards them, his progress slowed by a thick bundle of rope that was coiled around one shoulder. "Braska! Auron! You guys ain't gonna believe this!"

Rikku's eyeballs nearly popped out of her head as she began waving her hands at Jecht to catch his attention. _You promised not to tell!_ she mouthed to him as he neared them. Her hope of being subtle plummeted as he ignored her with a familiar glazed look in his eyes. _I thought I cured him already! Where'd he find more to drink?_

"Rikkma? There are washroom facilities at the central crossing station if you need them," Braska interrupted helpfully, and Rikku caught herself mid-hop and dropped her arms, squeaking in surprise. Looking uncomfortable, Braska cleared his throat. "Of course, if it's really _that_ urgent, we could escort you to the side of the road -"

"I'm fine," Rikku chirped out, her face burning red. She watched Auron looking away from the corner of his eye, his expression unusually solemn. With a jolt, she realized he was trying not to laugh at her. _Again._ "Really," she mumbled, feeling her mortification _quadruplify._ Blackmail or not, Jecht was going to _pay._

The man in question was already boasting, tapping his chest with a thumb as he weaved before them. "So Blondie ran into this big plant thing an' pissed it off, but then I saved her all by myself."

Rikku clenched her teeth. "Wait a second! I'm not the one who was _dancing_ with it!"

Jecht barreled on, gesticulating wildly with his arms to illustrate his story. "Yeah! It _was _pretty good, but I'm still the best!" His face suddenly darkened and he whirled on Rikku, losing his balance in the process. When he straightened, he pushed an accusatory finger into her face. "The party was just gettin' started, but then you had to go all gung-ho on it with yer swo-" He stopped abruptly as Rikku shot him a murderous look that managed to briefly pierce through his inebriated fog. "S-sw-swearin'," he finished clumsily.

Rikku let out a silent sigh of relief. Then Jecht ran with it.

"Yeah, swearin', that's it! Worse than me, too! I mean, _shit!_" he said loudly, causing other passengers to glance curiously in their direction. "An' not just any shit," he continued in what Rikku imagined was the loudest voice possible to achieve without a microphone. "_Choco-_shit! No wait. _Choco-humpin' mog-snoggin'_ shit. No, no wait! Choco-humpin' mog-snoggin' shit and... and... _your momma!_" He gave Rikku a big thumbs-up. "Nice one, Blondie!"

"You didn't really say that?" Braska asked her in a low tone, glancing around nervously.

"No!" Rikku yelped. Then she looked at Jecht. "Well, okay, so maybe I _did_ say some nasty things, but, it wasn't that bad!"

"You do realize, it was just an Ochu..." Braska murmured.

Rikku gave up trying to shush Jecht and hung her head in defeat as the few travelers who had actually remained for the entire serenade of obscenities stared at them openly. "Yeah, so anyway, one of you can just kill me right now and put me out of my misery," she croaked.

Jecht hadn't noticed the attention he was garnering; he only seemed capable of focusing on things in his immediate line of sight. Fortunately he moved on from Rikku and now had Auron on his radar. "Uh, say. Why are ya wet? Aww, man, did I miss out on a pickup blitzin' game?" Squinting, Jecht finally seemed to realize there was a river next to them. "Whoa! Lookit all that water! Hey, hey... it's leakin' those shiny things. Whatchamacallits. Y'know, dead people." He waved a stray pyrefly away, nearly smacking his own face in the process. "Trippy..."

Rikku slapped her forehead. "Maybe I will take that bathroom break, after all."

"... so you two were delayed because Jecht was dancing with an Ochu?" Auron finally managed, wringing water out of the sleeve of his coat. "I rest my case."

"I beat it fair and square," Jecht piped up. "An' look!" Bending over, he shrugged the mass of rope off of his shoulder into a pile at Rikku's feet. "This time _I_ brought back the loot!"

Rikku leaned in and looked at the "rope" more closely. Then she jumped back with a squeak. "Eww! Grossness! Those are Ochu tentacles! I can't believe you brought them with you!"

Jecht looked crestfallen at her outburst. "Huh? Y'mean you can't use 'em?"

"I steal stuff on the _inside_ of fiends, I don't rip off their body parts!" Rikku added, taking another large step away from the pile.

"Aww, c'mon! But I even dried 'em out an' everything," Jecht answered, his expression turning surly.

Braska, who had finally finished squeezing excess water off the bulk of his outer robes, nudged the pile with his staff. "Now now. I'm sure Jecht meant well, Rikkma. And I think we all must admit that defeating an Ochu on one's own is an impressive feat."

"Yeah, ain't it?" Jecht preened with a self-satisfied smirk.

"I wonder, though... what do you mean, you dried them out?" Braska was kneeling now, his face troubled as he poked through the tentacles with his staff. Jecht licked his lips.

"Humph," Auron said. "I told you so. Lord Braska?"

Braska let out a slight sigh and shook his head. "There's no use debating over it now. Let's move on, the shoopuf station is right around the bend. Jecht, come with me. I'll walk you there." With a look of resignation, Braska grabbed Jecht's arm and began to lead him down the path toward the landing point. "So... did you know that pyreflies gather to the Moonflow at twilight? The entire river turns into a sea of light."

"A river full o' dead people. I swear, this place is gonna turn me into a than... thana... thanatana... aww, hell with it. Zombie hater!" Jecht continued to spout his potation-inspired wisdom as Braska made several futile attempts to hush the large man.

Rikku watched them wander away, scratching her head. "Huh? What'd Braska mean, debating about what?" She raked a few more fingers through her braids with an expression of disgust; the Ochu sap still trapped in her hair was clumping and it probably looked as bad as it smelled. As far as she was concerned, a bath couldn't come soon enough.

"You really don't know?" Auron stepped over the pile of abandoned tentacles and paused at her side. He grasped her hand and gently pulled it from her hair, then held it before her face.

Rikku stared at the yellow crust flaking onto her fingers in confusion. Then she looked over her shoulder at Jecht, who chose that moment to burp loudly before staggering into Braska. "Wait, you mean..." Returning her gaze to her fingers, her eyes widened. "Oh, that is just _too gross,_ even for Jecht."

"Ochu sap is known to be a potent inebriant," Auron explained. Then he sniffed and twisted his face into a mild grimace. "And next time, cast the water spell over yourself."

"Oh, umm..." Rikku felt herself blushing as she realized Auron was still holding her hand between them. "Yeah, sorry about that. But it really looked like you two were going to go at it right there, y'know?" She let out a brief sigh of disappointment as Auron released her hand and turned away from her, striding down the road. "Hey!" she said, jogging to catch up with him and slowing by his side. He wasn't looking at her, so she frowned and tugged at the loose sleeve of his coat. "Is everything all right? 'Cause, this tension is really uncool. All these negative vibes are gonna bring us bad luck!"

"Then use Jecht's costume," Auron replied.

Rikku refused to give up with a stubborn pout. "Come on! What are you and Braska _really_ fighting about?"

Auron exhaled noisily. "It is primarily about Jecht. I'd hoped traveling together would teach him some responsibility, but with his dependence on spirits it only appears that he's getting worse. Braska still sees hope for Jecht's future and wants to guide him. I, on the other hand, am beginning to believe he is nothing more than a liability."

Rikku bit her lip; she couldn't exactly express her own opinion when she found herself agreeing with Braska. The whole point of talking was to try to get Auron to calm down, though, not to get him mad at _her,_ too. Speaking of which... "But it can't be just that," Rikku amended, watching Auron carefully. "It's also about me, isn't it?"

Auron's expression tightened into a wry smile, and at that moment Bahamut's chastising words about her own audacity returned full force and slapped a mental gauntlet across her self-esteem. "Or maybe not," she added quickly, feeling her face heat.

Auron seemed to sense her discomfort and cleared his throat. "In a manner of speaking," he replied cryptically. "Perhaps not in the way you imagine. It's more of a disagreement over our definitions of duty... and how you should fit into that definition."

_So then he's still holding back?_ Rikku decided she'd cheer doubly hard for Braska... on the sly, of course. "Ooh, you mean he hit a sore point." Rikku frowned. "Well... even if you don't agree with him, maybe you could... I dunno... compromise?" _And actually start dating me for real?_ she added with a mental kick to his butt.

"It's not that simple -" Auron began. He broke off abruptly as a loud yell rang through the air.

"Hey, was that Jecht?" Rikku asked, before a myriad of screams and the sound of groaning metal rose above her voice. The chaos seemed to be coming from the landing point, and seconds later, Rikku let out a squeak as panicked travelers began streaming out from around the bend, running in every direction. "Hey! Hey wait! Is Sin attacking?" Rikku yelled desperately, catching the arm of a passer-by.

"No, it's some moron with a sword!" the man yelled back, before shaking himself out of her grasp and scrambling away.

"Lord Braska... Let's go!" Auron unsheathed his sword from his back in one fluid motion - causing yet another wave of screaming and panic - and began brusquely shouldering people out of his way.

"Moron with a sword?" Rikku mumbled to herself as she ducked behind Auron and drew her daggers. "Holy moley, please don't tell me..."

The fleeing passengers thinned out, and Rikku slammed into Auron's back as he turned the corner and pulled up short. "I'm going to kill him," she heard Auron say, and peeked out around his shoulder. Then she choked.

"Jecht, you have to stop!" Braska was trying ineffectually to calm the blitzballer down. Jecht, for his part, was brandishing his sword, crouched before a very surprised and angry shoopuf. A very surprised, angry and _bleeding_ shoopuf, Rikku noted.

"He hit the shoopuf?" Rikku squeaked. Shoopufs were supposed to be huge, gentle and friendly creatures. The furious animal before them only seemed to be _ginormous_ to her, though. It roared in pain and lashed out with its trunk, tearing away yet more metal from the already-damaged machina docking bay, forcing everyone to duck the flying shrapnel. The gigantic pole it was lashed to was straining dangerously under the weight of the panicked creature. It seemed as though most of the travelers had gotten away unscathed, but more than a few pieces of luggage had already been flattened under the creature's gigantic feet. A lone hypello was ducking and weaving between the debris, waving its arms over its head in agitation.

"Shtooop! Shtooop!" it cried, running towards Jecht.

"Get back! I killed an Ochu single-handedly, ya know!" Jecht yelled at the hypello, ducking into his battle crouch.

Braska was already whirling his staff around. "Slowaga!" he chanted, sending the offensive spell flying at Jecht without hesitation. The other man stood frozen for a moment as the magic hit him. It was enough for the surprised hypello to scramble out of the way of Jecht's sword.

"Are yoo inshane!" it squawked at Jecht, falling over.

"Ain't you a fiend?" Jecht fired back, hefting his sword again. Before he could attack, Auron was already in motion, knocking the weapon out of Jecht's grip with his own sword, his face a mask of fury.

"Unbelievable! Shut up and stop attacking things!" Auron roared, turning to face the rampaging shoopuf. "Rikkma! Get over here! Braska, keep Jecht down and protect the civilian!" His voice was nearly drowned out as the shoopuf heaved and finally managed to snap its tethering post with a loud crack. It stood before them for a few moments, panting noisily, the whites of its normally black eyes showing clearly as it panicked. Thick red blood from the heavy gash Jecht had inflicted on the creature's side was spilling onto the ground with each breath of the huge beast.

"We should help it!" Rikku said worriedly.

"Out of the question," Auron replied sharply. "If it charges, we won't be able to stop it from trampling the other people. We need to kill it."

"Now, that's what I'm talkin' abo-" Jecht fell over with a pained grunt as Braska simply cracked his staff over the head of the other man. "Oww," he mumbled weakly from his sprawled position, face-down on the ground.

"Rikkma's correct. We were the cause of this problem, so we can't simply solve it with bloodshed." Without waiting, Braska smoothly sent a powerful curative spell towards the shoopuf.

"It worked!" Rikku cheered as she saw the animal's wound clot and scab over rapidly. Once again she marveled at the raw power behind the force of his spell; a shoopuf was several times the size of a normal human being, and yet Braska's magic worked as effectively as ever. Apparently Yuna hadn't inherited the full scope of her father's talent; Braska's magical capacity could have easily rivaled Lulu's, and Rikku found herself hard-pressed not to stare in awe. She pulled her attention away from the Summoner as she heard Auron curse.

"It didn't work. We've only made it easier for the creature to move."

Looking up, Rikku realized that he was right. Even without its injury, the shoopuf was still pawing the ground dangerously, eyes rolled as it prepared to blindly charge them. "Wait!" she yelled out desperately. "I don't want the blood of an innocent shoopuf on my conscience!"

"You may not have a choice," Auron said grimly, even as Braska cast another Slowaga, this time at the enraged creature.

_Think, Rikku! Think!_ _How can we take it down without killing it?_

As if in answer, Rikku's sphere grid lit up, its magic coming to life and swirling around her. "What? What's going on?"

_Let me help you,_ a familiar voice whispered in her ears. _Use me._

Rikku blinked as her vision cleared, staring up at the angry shoopuf even as her hand automatically lifted to catch the rays of light forming above her head.

"Believe," she heard herself saying quietly. And then the presence faded, and Rikku was left standing in the midst of three bemused men, one panicking hypello, and one very angry shoopuf with nothing more than a microphone in her hand.

Oh, well. She'd played before tougher audiences than this.

"Listen up! It's showtime!" she shouted, pulling the microphone down and striking a dramatic pose.

"Rikkma?" Braska was saying uncertainly, eyeing her newfound excess of feathers and ruffles as she turned her back to the shoopuf and flounced.

"Wow," she heard Jecht saying as he peeled his face off of the ground. "Is that a skirt or just a really big belt?"

"Trust me!" Rikku shouted, sending both of them a playful wink. Then she focused her attention completely on the shoopuf. Even with the glow of Lenne's spirit surrounding her, she retained enough presence of mind to realize the immediate danger. The Songstress sphere was a perfect manipulator, but the costume had no attacks and nearly no defenses. If she couldn't charm the beast quickly, she might as well have rolled under its feet with a target painted on her stomach.

"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with esssss..." Rikku murmured, swaying seductively as pointed a gloved finger at the shoopuf. It bellowed angrily in response, and Rikku felt the sweat beading on her forehead. _A really tough crowd, huh?_ She sucked in her breath and gripped her microphone tightly.

"On candystripe legs the spiderman comes..." she began to coo. The shoopuf stopped roaring and whiffed dangerously, and Rikku twirled as she continued singing. The song she was belting out was just a distraction; what really counted were the movements of her feet. Still, if she couldn't capture the shoopuf's attention completely, it would be able to resist her spell.

"Softly through the shadow of the evening sun..." she shimmied to the side, then skipped, and... _there!_ Rikku felt the magic taking hold, her steps finally synchronizing to the tune she was humming. She smiled as her body began to move on its own, the dance itself becoming a channeling rod for the energy she was pouring out through her song. _Come on, big boy,_ she thought furiously as she ran a hand down her side. _Pay attention to me!_

As if in response, the shoopuf began to sway, its pants and snorts slowing down as it watched Rikku's one-woman song and dance show. _Yes! It's working!_ Unfortunately, the magic seemed to be working a little _too_ well, as Rikku caught the attention of more than just her target.

"Whoa, that's pretty good, Blondie!" Jecht cheered, sitting up and rubbing his head. He whooped and clapped his hands, and the shoopuf snapped out of its trance. It let out an earth-shaking roar, and Rikku stumbled.

"Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead, looking for the victim... sh-sh-shivering... umm..." Rikku's voice tapered off, the spell she was weaving broken. _Damn you to Yevon, Jecht!_ she wanted to scream, but the shoopuf had already risen to its hind feet directly in front of her. _Smooshed Rikku was not in the plan!_

"Rikku! Get back!" she heard Auron shouting faintly. Silly Auron, using her name so carelessly like that... what if someone was listening? Braska, too - he was hitting Jecht with his staff again. It was kind of funny, because everybody knew white mages hit like Shelinda, so why even bother? Still, it was strange, though... they all sounded so distant. Everything seemed so fuzzy, probably because that white light was surrounding her again. But she hadn't activated her sphere grid, had she? She wasn't done yet. Rikku wanted to blink sleepily, but found herself growing worried as she realized that she couldn't blink.

_Lenne? Lenne! Let me go!_

Rising panic was burning away the cotton surrounding her mind rapidly. It wasn't as frightening as when Bahamut had trapped her; she knew Lenne was only trying to help. Still, the sensation of being a prisoner in her own body shook her to her very core. Someone else was moving her arms and legs, and as she raised the microphone to her lips, Rikku realized that she wasn't seeing her own hands. She opened her mouth, and the voice that spilled out was Lenne's, rich and soulful. Even the very breath she took to power her words seemed heavily laden with magic.

"Be still, be calm, be quiet now, my precious boy..." she crooned, and the shoopuf dropped to all fours. "Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more," she sang, throwing her arms wide, and the beast's legs folded under it. "For it's much too late to get away or turn on the light..." she whispered, lowering her hands, and with a low keen, the shoopuf's eyes closed. With a smile, she threw her head back and spun, long brown hair flying around her. "The spiderman is having you for dinner tonight!"

The light was flaring, and Rikku felt her control over the songstress sphere - and, presumably, her own appearance - returning. Even so, she couldn't stop herself from shaking as the echo of Lenne's parting laughter rang in her ears. She dropped the microphone as though it had burned her hand and reached for her belt, deactivating the sphere. Then she slid to her knees, numb.

"Thank yoo, thank yoo! Yoo shaved my shoopuf!" the hypello was saying, even as it scrambled to its feet to care for the fallen mount. Rikku could only watch and stare mutely as she felt Auron kneel by her side.

"What happened?" he asked her quietly. "It wasn't just your clothes this time. Your face... your hair... it's as though you became a different person."

Rikku moved her mouth slowly. "I-I lost control," she whimpered. "That wasn't me, it really wasn't me!" She gripped her belt tightly. Wasn't Lenne gone, dead, living her happily ever afterlife with Shuyin in the Farplane? Every fantasy Rikku had had, every scrap of jealousy she had ever felt for Yuna's seemingly charmed ability with the sphere grid was fading into horror. There was nothing magical or special about being possessed; it was terrifying.

"That was very brave of you, to face an angry shoopuf alone like that." Rikku felt an arm on her back, and she looked up to see Braska regarding her solemnly.

_Is that what the Summoner's Rapture is really like?_ she couldn't stop herself from thinking as he looked at her, and shuddered involuntarily.

"And reckless," she heard Auron murmur beside her, but Rikku couldn't really disagree with him on that point.

"I felt it," Braska told her "An ancient presence. It was almost... like a Summoning, in many ways. But different, somehow. The pyreflies which gathered around you and transformed your appearance."

Rikku bit her lip. "But I didn't call them," she admitted quietly. "_She_ did."

"Who was that?" Auron's voice was serious, and... worried? He was worried about her? _Progress!_ Despite herself, Rikku felt a small smile creeping across her face.

"That was Lenne, a thousand-year-old memory," Rikku explained, fingering her grid. "She's done this before. I mean, not to me. But it's always been for a good cause."

"There's an actual soul trapped in your sphere?" Braska said, kneeling back in surprise. "An aeon that can summon itself?"

Rikku blanched. Well, when he put it _that_ way, Lenne did sound a lot creepier than she actually was. "Ahh... no no no, she's not a Fayth. It's kinda more like... she's an unsent, maybe? Except it's not really her, it's just her memories."

Braska continued to frown. "Memories? I doubt that memories alone can wield that kind of influence even with that magical belt of yours." His frown deepened. "Such power could be dangerous. It might be in your best interest to inform the Church about your -"

"No way!" Rikku shot up immediately, bubbling with indignant anger. "There's absolutely no way I'd ever trust Yevon with any of my stuff! They'd probably want to shoot me just for having it. They _did_ shoot me, actually! So you can forget about it!"

"Calm down," Auron told her, rising to his feet and gripping her arm gently. "Lord Braska meant well. He was only thinking of your safety when he suggested it."

Rikku took a deep breath and tried to push aside her sudden spout of anger. "Yeah, yeah, I know." She caught sight of a stricken Braska and hid her smile. "It's all right, you can stop looking like you kicked me. I just lost my temper, that's all."

"I am sorry," Braska replied as he bent over Jecht. "I'd forgotten how strongly you feel about the Church. Not all of Yevon is as strict as the clergy in Bevelle, though," he added. Then he frowned at Jecht, who was groaning pitifully from where he was sprawled across the ground. "Hmm, I believe I may have struck Jecht a little too hard the second time."

Auron released her arm and stepped over Jecht. "Not hard enough," he grunted, the disgust leaking back into his voice. "What happened here?"

Braska paused mid-spell, containing the healing magic in one hand as he frowned. "Jecht had never seen a shoopuf before. He thought it was a fiend." Releasing the magic, he let it trickle down over the blitzer's forehead, reducing the noticeable swelling of the bump there.

Rikku blinked. "How could he think it was a fiend?" She glanced at the hypello, who was carefully inspecting the fresh scar on the slumbering shoopuf. "I mean, it's wearing a _saddle._"

"You mean he was drunk," Auron said bluntly to Braska, who smiled weakly.

"Well, yes, there was that, too..."

Rikku kicked Jecht in the shin, causing him to grunt as he rolled awake. "Huh?" Then he saw Braska and grabbed his head. "'ey, stop hitting me with that thing already!" He stopped when he saw everyone staring at him and made a surly grimace. "Eh? What's the big deal?"

Jecht wasn't expecting Auron's punch. Rikku and Braska weren't expecting Auron's punch either and both jerked back instinctively as Jecht toppled over, scrambling out of the way. It wasn't a punch between friends, either, and Auron shook out his hand after delivering it.

Some semblance of sobriety returned to Jecht as he sat up, holding his jaw. "What the hell was that for?" he shouted.

"You attacked a shoopuf. What's worse, you tried to attack a civilian," Auron said coldly. He gestured at the hypello, which was ambling over towards them. "You put Lord Braska and many innocent people in danger, and you nearly killed Rikkma as well."

Jecht's mouth opened and closed for a few moments, then held his head between his hands. "Listen, I didn't know that thing wasn't a fiend," he began.

"Idiot," Auron muttered under his breath. "I'll deal with you later." He fell silent as the hypello stopped before Braska, who bowed deeply.

"I must apologize for my guardian's behavior," Braska murmured, his head dipped low. "I really don't know what I can say, but please believe that we never meant to cause you this trouble."

"Hey, hey, wait a minute, shouldn't it be me apologizin' -" Jecht let out a sharp breath and stopped talking as Auron sent a none-too-gentle elbow into his stomach, knocking the wind out of the other man.

Ignoring everyone else, the hypello swayed for a few moments, blinking its wide-set eyes. It tapped its long fingers together.

"Yoo are a Shummoner?" it asked placidly. Then again, no one had ever really seen an upset hypello before, so Rikku could only assume. Their fish-like features were so alien that it was hard for other races to interpret their usual expressions as anything other than vacant curiosity.

Braska remained immobile, his head still bowed. "Again, please forgive us."

The hypello said nothing and Braska slowly straightened. "Please accept this money as a token of our sincerity," he continued. "Auron?"

Auron shifted uncomfortably, reaching into his coat. "Yes, my lord, but how much -"

"All of it," Braska said immediately, and the silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever, until it was broken by the hypello.

"Verily generous of yoo," it said, finally swiveling away from Braska to shuffle in front of Auron. It held one long-fingered hand out expectantly, and Auron looked down at the hand and stared. Rikku could almost see the vein beginning to pulse in his forehead. Finally, with a stiff movement, he withdrew the pouch from his cloak and let it drop into the hypello's waiting palm.

Not even bothering to count the coins, the hypello looked at the debris and shrugged. "Next shoopuf ride will be delaylay-laaayed. Come back this evening!"

"Well," Jecht said uncomfortably as Braska led them away from the destruction, "It ain't all bad. At least we get to see the Moonflow at night, right?"

"Wonderful," Auron mumbled. "Maybe that will give us time to sober you up before your next accident."

Braska's shoulders drooped slightly, and Jecht rubbed the back of his head, looking away with a guilty expression.

* * *

_**AN:**__ Props to anyone who figures out what Lenne was singing. Also a big thanks to AuronLu for helping me figure out how to swear in Spiran, and Fwe for the much needed script corrections!_


	25. Abstinence and the Heart

**- Chapter 25: Abstinence and the Heart - **

Rikku sat on the bank of the Moonflow watching the pyreflies lazily gather near her bare feet, which were drifting through the water. The sun had already disappeared below the horizon and the river was beginning to work its magic. The effect of the ethereal light the pyreflies gave off was multiplied by the reflective moonlilies, amplifying their silver glow so that it looked as though the stars themselves had fallen out of the sky.

Auron had ordered them to make camp; ferry service had begun as soon as the shoopuf had woken from its nap, despite the damage done to the landing point. It hadn't mattered much; with the last of their money gone, there was no way to pay the crossing fare. For that matter, there was no way to pay for dinner, either, and Rikku had been looking forward to something other than the Guado's seasoned, dried jerky. They couldn't even toss gil to see who would have to spend the night fiend-hunting in order earn the money needed to continue the Pilgrimage, so they'd drawn river-reeds instead. Jecht, of course, hadn't been included in the pool.

Personally, Rikku thought she should have donned her Lady Luck costume for the contest. Then, she might not have come up with the shortest reed. With a sigh, she planted a hand into her cheek and rolled her eyes over to her assigned duty for the night. _I'd so rather be hunting fiends right now._

As if he could feel her stare, Jecht turned his head slightly, his back hunched as he rode out the remaining effects of his inebriation. "Say..."

Rikku frowned. "Did you say something? Because I thought Auron told you to keep it zipped!"

Jecht grimaced and fell silent. For a few blissfully short moments. "Did I really almost kill you and that blue guy?"

"He's a hypello, and yes, you almost killed him," Rikku answered snippily. Then she paused and snuck a peek at Jecht. He looked unusually haggard, even for a guy with a hangover. And, she noticed, he hadn't actually spoken in his usual lazy slur. A mild feeling of guilt struck her; she knew Jecht wasn't as much of an idiot as he appeared to be. Then again, his redeeming qualities only shone through when he was sober, which, as of late, was becoming increasingly rare. Now, however, seemed to be one of those moments, and Rikku relented slightly. He'd get enough grief from Auron later; that much was certain. "As for me... well, that was more the shoopuf, actually."

Jecht turned around and looked at her, his face unusually serious. "So that big thing was a shoopuf, right? And I hurt it bad?"

Struck by his tone, Rikku pulled her feet out of the water and scooted around to face him. "Braska healed it, you know. Good as new!"

Jecht's head sunk, allowing his unkempt hair to cast his face into shadows in the darkening twilight. "I never hurt anyone before. I mean 'sides myself. No matter how bad I got, I never..." He trailed off, and Rikku waited, watching a myriad of expressions cross Jecht's face. Pain. Denial. Shame. "... maybe that ain't right. My... my boy would tell me to give it up, and I'd always say, _tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow._" He paused and brought a hand to his face, and Rikku had to avert her eyes.

When Jecht spoke again, his voice was low and thick. "He's the one who's really been hurtin' all this time, ain't he?"

Rikku bit her lip. "I'm sure Tidus will understand you one day. I mean, you're his dad. He knows you love him."

"He's always cryin' and sayin' he hates me," Jecht managed to say. "Nothin' but a big crybaby..." His voice cracked.

Rikku balled her fists together nervously; the pain radiating from Jecht was almost tangible, and she felt another twinge of pity. He was alone; more alone than any of them had realized.

_Still thinking of only yourself?_ Bahamut had asked her. Looking at the broken man before her, Rikku felt her shame acutely. She'd spent so much time spent lamenting over her own displacement that she'd nearly forgotten that Jecht came from a completely different _world_ - a world that wasn't even real. At least she had the comfort of knowledge; nothing about Spira was familiar or comforting to Jecht. Nothing except perhaps Blitzball and alcohol. Even with his brawny appearance and the multitude of scars crisscrossing his body, he was still very much a boy being forced to grow up on the fly. He'd been so pleased with himself just for defeating the Ochu, and vaguely Rikku realized it wasn't simple pride. Jecht wasn't used to fighting; he wasn't used to being unknown and unpopular. He didn't have anyone to rely on except _them_ - and they'd relegated him to the group liability, just as Auron had predicted. Everyone except Braska, who always stood alone to do the right thing.

"Hey, come on, now," Rikku said softly. "So what if you don't have a good relationship with your kid? I don't get along with my pops or my brother very often, either. But you know... every time Brother says _'Rikku, you are so annoying!'_ I know what he's really saying is he loves me. Maybe it's the same for your son. He just doesn't know how to tell you."

Jecht sniffed gruffly and swiped a hand over his face, pretending to adjust his bandana. "Yeah... I dunno... maybe. But... I wanna go back. I wanna tell him myself."

Rikku sighed and looked at her toes helplessly. "You'll see him again, I know it." _But you can't go back, you can't ever go back._

"I guess..." He looked up, squinting at her. "So is that your name? Rikku?"

Rikku's head snapped up, her eyes wide. "Oh! Uh-uh-uhhh... actually, what I meant was -!"

Jecht shook his head and laughed. "Forget about it. You ain't real smooth. I figure everybody here knows you've been hidin' your real name by now."

Rikku let out a sharp sigh of relief. "You mean you won't tell Braska?"

"You got your reasons," he said, shrugging. "Not my business."

Rikku tilted her head. "Then why'd you ask?"

Jecht rubbed the back of his neck, cracking it with a loud pop. "Well... like you said. I nearly killed ya. I figure I should at least know who you are before I go an' do somethin' like that again."

With a smile, Rikku flopped by the riverbank on her back and watched the pyreflies twisting through the air above her. "Don't tell me you're planning to try and kill me again later on. That's Auron's job, you know. With poison or something when I get too annoying, I bet."

"Naw, he'll just throttle ya," Jecht said with a tired smirk. "Auron doesn't beat around the bush." He paused. "And ya don't have to worry, anyhow. He's gonna be too busy tryin' to kill me for the rest of this trip instead."

Rikku frowned, reaching up and letting a pyrefly settle on, then glide through, her finger. "Braska won't let him."

"Yeah... Braska..." Jecht fell into a melancholy silence, and Rikku kicked herself for tactlessly bringing the Summoner up at all. He surprised her, though, by continuing to speak. "He's the only one who still believes in me." Then, he coughed. "Uh, well... no offense, Blondie."

Rikku smiled. "None taken. You're right, though... Braska's different." She paused. "That's why he's the Summoner and we're not. He's just... _better_ than us, I guess."

Jecht snorted. "Takes a goddamn martyr to be a Summoner, huh?"

_You don't know how right you are,_ Rikku thought quietly.

The silence stretched between them as the sky grew darker. The pyreflies had multiplied over the river and were shining brightly enough to do away with the need for a fire. Rikku reflected on the man sitting a few feet away from her; even having Tidus as one of her closest friends she still knew so little about Jecht. And after everything he had done for them, the sacrifices he had made for Tidus and all of Spira, she hadn't believed in him. _He's not that man yet,_ she reminded herself sternly. Auron still didn't trust him, either.

_Auron's behavior... he's so pissed off most of the time. Always looking for something - or someone - to fight_. At first he'd targeted her; understandable, considering how much they'd annoyed each other. Then there was that argument with Braska. And now this. If she was honest with herself, Rikku really didn't see how Auron would ever bring himself to forgive Jecht. She rolled onto her stomach and propped her chin in her palm, studying the silvery river. A frown quirked her lips. What was making him so angry?

Maybe they were all struggling with loneliness, in their own separate ways. Jecht and his family, Braska and the Pilgrimage... what demons was Auron facing that caused him to cut himself off from the rest of them every time they started to bond? Was it even her place to try and dig them up? Rikku dropped her head onto the ground and groaned loudly; all this thinking was making her head hurt.

"Hey, quit complainin', I'm hungry, too," Jecht said, interrupting her thoughts.

Rikku scowled. "I wasn't thinking about food. I was thinking about Auron, for your information."

Jecht winced. "I'm tryin' _not_ to do that," he admitted. Then he let out a rough laugh. "'Sides, how can you think 'bout Red when you got a _superstar_ all to yourself tonight?"

Well, on the one hand Jecht seemed to be feeling well enough to make jokes again. On the other hand, it was _Jecht._ "I'd fantasize about Auron over you any day," she said lazily, stifling a yawn. "Besides, your ego's big enough to stroke itself."

"Hey!" Jecht grumbled, puffing out his chest. "I'll have you know I'm the best blitzer in Zanarkand! No woman can resist my charms!"

Rikku smirked to herself. "I did have a crush on Tidus once, but I figure that's because he lucked out and got his mom's genes." _Well, except mentally,_ she added with a snigger.

"Oh, really?" Jecht continued nonchalantly. "What's so special 'bout Tidus anyway?"

Rikku sighed and thought about her previous Pilgrimage with a feeling of nostalgia. "Well, for one he's blond. That's a big plus for most Al Bhed, you know. And even if he is kinda stupid, he's still got a good personality. He doesn't swear half as much as you do, and he's definitely better with a sword." She giggled to herself as she thought of some of Tidus' more fanciful attacks; only he could ever manage to combine blitzball with sword fighting and still make it look graceful.

"I see."

Rikku's eyes snapped open and she sat up so quickly she nearly blacked out. "Wait! How did you - I mean, I wasn't really talking about your son -" she choked, twisting around. It was too late; the damage was done. Jecht was sitting stiffly, staring at her with eyes that burned like lit coal.

"Tidus ain't blond," he finally said.

Rikku struggled with her words, trying to find an explanation, a clever way to patch up her mistake. And for once, her quick mind was failing her. It was too difficult, keeping track of all the lies, of which memories were okay to share and which were too dangerous. She fought with herself, sweating under Jecht's scrutiny, before finally wilting.

"He isn't _yet,_" she mumbled, drawing her legs into her chest.

The tension grew as Jecht continued to stare at her. Finally, he broke the silence. "How? How can you know? It's like I thought, ain't it? You're from Zanarkand, too!"

Rikku bit her lip and rocked slightly. She made the mistake of looking up, and felt something inside her tearing helplessly at the look of hope written across Jecht's face. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head quietly, then dropped her face towards her knees.

Jecht's voice was confused. "But... all this stuff about Zanarkand bein' destroyed a thousand years ago... we're from the past, ain't we? Time travelers? 'Cept... you've seen my boy. My Tidus, all grown up, right?"

"It's not that simple," Rikku said, squeezing her eyes shut. "You're partially right." About her own time bending story, maybe. But she couldn't tell him that he wasn't even real; that he and his son were nothing more than the Fayth's dreams. Jecht was still waiting for her to continue, she knew, and she pressed her lips together and let the silence speak in her stead.

That, too, was an answer, and eventually Jecht seemed to realize it. He sat back with a sigh and rubbed his head. "... just tell me this. Were you lyin' to me? Just now? Am I ever gonna see my wife an' son again?"

Rikku peeked out from over her knees; Jecht wasn't even looking at her, she realized. He was fingering something in his hand. She sighed. "I know you'll reach Tidus again. Stop asking me! Just believe in yourself for once."

Jecht studied the artifact, his expression unusually solemn. "It... feels different here. Not like back home." He tossed the lump in his hand towards her, and reflexively, Rikku caught it. Holding it up to the light, she realized it was the Neptune Sigil and glanced at Jecht in surprise. "Maybe I'm the one that's changin'," he concluded, more to himself than her.

**.x.x.x.**

The morning sun was already shining brightly overhead, and Rikku smiled, allowing herself a luxurious stretch. It had been a long evening, but she felt lighter, happier than she had before. At first, she'd been scared and angry that Jecht had flushed out her secrets, but now all she really felt was relief. A least a part of the increasingly-complex web of lies she'd spun had been torn away, and it made her feel free, as though it was a chance for a fresh start.

They'd made camp directly next to the Moonflow; looking out across the slowly flowing river, Rikku observed the remnants of the previous night's pyrefly gathering dissipate lazily over the water. _So pretty,_ she thought with a small sigh. In a way, she was almost thankful for Jecht's blunder; seeing the Moonflow at night was a rare and precious memory she intended to keep close to her heart.

"Hey, that's right! I don't have to keep it just for me!" Sitting up a little straighter, Rikku rolled over and dug through her pack. With a squeal of happiness, she pulled out the empty sphere she'd found. "Yes!"

"Ugh," came a low, rumbling groan from the bedroll next to hers. "Must you always be so loud?"

"Oops! Sorry Auron," Rikku whispered. It had been a late night for both he and Braska; they hadn't returned until long after Jecht had dropped off and Rikku's own head was beginning to nod. Apparently the two men had gathered enough for the ferry, but they both looked worse for the wear. She glanced over to the other side of the camp and saw Jecht sprawled out across the ground, dead to the world. _Guess I'm on my own this morning..._

Smiling to herself, Rikku scrambled to her feet and eagerly switched on the recorder. She panned the sphere slowly for a wide shot of the river and then froze abruptly as Braska's back came into view. _Wasn't he out all night? What's he doing up this early?_ She opened her mouth to ask, but stopped herself as she noticed he wasn't moving. Without even a breeze to ruffle his robes, he looked eerily like the statue that would one day adorn Yevon's temples alongside the other fallen Summoners.

He stood there, still and silent for so long, that Rikku eventually felt a twinge of guilt and put the recorder away. Then, cautiously, she approached him.

"Umm, Braska?"

"It's a beautiful sight, isn't it?" Braska said suddenly. "The pyreflies, rising out of the river like that. They give me hope."

Rikku looked at the river curiously. "Hope?" she asked.

"Did you know that I was once a missionary for Yevon?" Braska continued. "This is not the first time I've been here." He smiled faintly. "Auron was my guide then, too."

_Auron?_ "But... you were trying to convert the Al Bhed, weren't you?"

Braska laughed. "He told me it was a lost cause. Auron's judgments are usually right."

Rikku scratched her head, curiosity overcoming her. "So why didn't you listen to him, then?"

"Auron's world view is very practical. When he sees a weakness, he either removes it, exploits it, or avoids it. A missionary priest can't afford to have that attitude. The foundation of Yevon's faith is hope, despite what may appear to be insurmountable odds." He paused. "Even now, Auron sees Jecht as a weakness and it would seem he was correct in his assessment. By all rights and logic we should cast Jecht away. But..." He trailed off.

_So he sees it, too._ "You want to save them," Rikku finished. "Both of them." Rikku couldn't help the small twinge of jealousy in her breast; what had been a revelation for her last night was already a lifetime crusade for Braska. It was foolish to be envious, she knew; the two men had been friends for years. Of course Braska would know more about Auron's mindset than she would.

"In his own way, Auron is as limited as Jecht," Braska continued. "He's come to believe that hope is a crutch, that it makes one weak. I was hoping meeting you would be able to change him, but I find it increasingly difficult to stand by and let go..." He paused uncomfortably and kept his eyes fixed on the horizon. "... of my own feelings." Rikku stiffened beside him, and Braska spoke quickly to reassure her. "No, no. It's all right. It's quite clear how you feel about Auron. That's not the reason we were arguing."

"Yeah, that's what Auron said, too," Rikku mused before balking. _Great going, Rikku! That was so tactless!_ Glancing at Braska's pained expression, she gently tried to steer the conversation towards safer waters. "You said this place gives you hope?"

Braska nodded, his face easing. He held out a hand, chasing away a few pyreflies. "The Moonflow looks different, now. There was no way station, back then, no hypello landing point. A part of that beautiful wilderness I once knew has disappeared."

"Tell me about it," Rikku murmured under her breath. "Isn't it depressing?"

"Not at all," Braska said, surprising her. "The pyreflies still gather here at night. In my mind's eye, I can see the remnants of that wild river I first saw. It's not really the Moonflow that I'm thinking about, though. It's the happy memories coming here brought to me. If it wasn't for my journey then, I would have never met Raenn. I wouldn't have Yuna." He smiled softly. "And now I'm here with you."

Rikku couldn't bring herself to say anything, pulling at the tassels on her vest instead. _How can he say those things and not make my heart hurt?_ She shut her eyes tightly. If she was going to be here, to stand by the side of these three men, then she had to do it completely. Auron knew, even Jecht knew, now; only Braska remained ignorant. Braska, who had accepted her - no, _all_ of them, from the very beginning, who told her his secrets and let her see his own pain. It wasn't _fair._ "My name's Rikku," she finally blurted out, cracking an eye open and waiting for his reaction.

Braska continued to contemplate the Moonflow, seemingly unmoved by her admission. Then he tilted his head towards her. "You asked earlier why it gives me hope? It's because I can stand here and smile. Even though the person I loved disappeared, I can still come to this river and create happy memories for myself. Memories like this one." Then he turned to her and smiled - a real, honest, open-hearted smile. _So like Yuna._ "Thank you, Rikku."

Rikku felt her pounding heart slow down, and allowed her lips to form a tentative smile. "So I guess that means I can stay, right?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he answered.

Encouraged, Rikku lifted a hand in the air and danced in place. "Oh, oh! And I wanted you to know, I'm rooting for you! I mean this whole argument with Auron thingie. Don't tell him that I'm siding with the enemy, though, okay?"

Braska blinked at her, and then let out a loud laugh. "All right. I'll keep fighting then, since you're cheering so hard for me."

Rikku lowered her hand and stopped swaying. "Umm... but is it really okay? I mean, we don't want to hurt you."

Braska let out a long-winded sigh. "Would you like me to be honest, or to make you feel better?" Then he shook his head. "No, that was uncalled for. But let's just say..." He looked at Rikku speculatively. "If Auron drops the ball, I'll be waiting to catch it." His gentle smile returned, this time colored with a hint of mischief.

Rikku swallowed. "I'm... gonna go take a walk. Yeah, that sounds really good," she mumbled to herself. Spinning around, she sped-walked away from Braska's laugh, feeling his eyes on her back the entire time.

**.x.x.x.**

When Rikku finally gathered enough courage to return, she found Auron awake and, for lack of a better word, brooding over Jecht. The blitzer, who saw her arrive, lifted his head off of the ground with a wince and motioned for her to come over.

"Hey! Blondie! You're a lifesaver!"

"I am?" Rikku stepped carefully towards the two men; an angry Auron was an Auron she didn't want to get too close to, boyfriend material or not.

"Yeah," Jecht said, pointing at the recording sphere still held in her hands. "Turn that thing on."

Rikku scrunched her nose. "What? Why?"

Auron crossed his arms. "So you can make more recordings for your fans? I'm sure you have plenty now at the ferry."

Jecht scowled, dropping his head back onto the ground. "If it's on the record, then you can't kill me and hide my body."

"How unfortunate," Auron said. "And here we are, right next to - what was it you called it? _A river full of_ _dead people._"

"Fine, fine, enough already!" Rikku interjected, switching the sphere on and aiming it at Jecht.

Jecht scowled, displeased to be the center of attention when he was obviously nursing a bad hangover. "What are you shooting ME for?" he asked, gesturing for her to point the sphere at Auron.

Auron snorted in response. "So you don't do anything stupid again. I can't believe you attacked that shoopuf." His voice took on a tone of annoyance. "Lord Braska had to pay the handler for damages from his own travel money."

Jecht winced and curled a little into his side. "I said I was sorry. It's never gonna happen again! I promise!"

Disbelief was written clearly across Auron's face. "Ah. A promise? Which you'll forget come tomorrow!" he scoffed.

Jecht seemed to shrink under the admonition. Rikku sighed to herself; she felt bad for Jecht, but he _had_ brought it down upon himself. Besides, she half-suspected that he had stuck around camp, curled on his side and waiting for Auron's inevitable confrontation, out of a sense of guilt.

Braska, too, seemed to pick up on Jecht's unusually listless attitude. "Auron, please." He moved closer to the blitzer's side. "He did apologize. He knows he was wrong."

Rikku bit her lip. Typical Braska; even with the reminder of the money they'd lost and the transformation of what should have been a pleasant afternoon excursion into a grueling evening of fiend hunting, he still was trying to protect Jecht from Auron's wrath. Feeling a surge of indignation, she eyed Jecht and lifted an eyebrow. _C'mon. I know you're better than this. Don't leave Braska hanging. Do something!_ She willed for him to speak up, to apologize to Braska, or even just to talk back at Auron instead of wilting there before them like a squashed moonlily. Instead, Jecht turned his face towards the ground. Auron snorted quietly in disgust and started to turn away, and Rikku felt bitter disappointment welling in her breast.

"That's it." Auron froze at the sound of Jecht's voice, while a tiny, knowing smile flashed across Braska's face. Pushing himself to his feet, Jecht stood to his full height and clenched his fists. "Only thing I drink from now on is shoopuf milk!"

Everyone gawked at Jecht's newfound determination. Mostly because he seemed not to realize that no one in Spira had ever attempted to milk a shoopuf before. It probably also didn't help that the shoopuf working at the crossing was male.

Still, hiding his laughter with a polite cough, Braska was the first to react. "You're sure?" he asked lightly.

"We're on a journey to fight Sin and save Spira, right? If I keep screwin' up... and making a fool of myself... my wife and kid are never gonna forgive me." He glanced at Rikku and gave her a brief, knowing smile.

_Hope against insurmountable odds, huh,_ Rikku thought as she returned it. _I guess we can all try a little harder to be like Braska._

Auron shifted slightly, and Rikku's eyes darted to him. She held her breath; it seemed like Jecht had taken a huge step forward just now, but would his new, fragile resolve be able to survive Auron's bitter cynicism? And then she noticed, Auron wasn't looking at Jecht at all - he was looking at Braska. _Oh, right... _they were fighting, too.

Braska held Auron's gaze with his own clear eyes. Then, tilting his head slightly, he closed them and smiled. A victor's smile.

With a sigh, Auron's shoulders dropped, and he pinned Jecht under a critical stare. "That's on the record," he said.

Rikku grinned. She might have been losing her mental tally of face-offs against Auron, but so far Braska had an unbeaten record. She'd have to take tips from him sometime. Then, Braska looked at her and smiled, and Rikku felt her heart beat slightly faster. _Uh... maybe I can pass up on the tips,_ she decided quickly, looking down and fumbling with her sphere controls.

"Rikkma... as it seems to be a good day for new resolutions, I was wondering if there was anything you wanted to say to us."

Rikku looked up. Auron was staring at her with his usual impassive gaze, giving away nothing. Then again, he was used to it. Jecht, on the other hand, looked uncomfortable, scratching his neck and unable to meet her eyes. And Braska - _eh,_ Rikku thought, resisting the urge to fidget - he was giving her the gentle look. The look that created a thousand guilt trips. _How does he do that? No wonder Auron always breaks first._ She planted her hands on her hips petulantly and scowled.

"All right, you guys can stop playing dumb already. Does anyone here _not_ know my name yet?"

Auron had the decency to look somewhat surprised, Braska was obviously pleased, and Jecht just looked relieved.

"Good, I kept thinkin' I was gonna spill it by accident later on," Jecht laughed. Then he smirked at her pointedly. "And who's the one who's really always playin' dumb, anyhow?"

"It's all right. I'm glad you finally decided to share a little more of yourself with us, Rikku," Braska told her. "And... I must admit, it rolls off the tongue a bit more easily. Less... suggestive connotations."

Rikku felt herself blushing and wanted to kick herself; Auron was staring at her _right now,_ and Braska was... was... _flirting,_ or something. She really hoped it was _or something,_ willing her features to compose.

"Well... shall we? Before any more unfortunate incidents occur?" Braska gestured towards the direction of the road, and Rikku jumped.

"Ah, I've still gotta pack my bedroll and stuff! Don't worry, I'll meet you guys there in a jiffy. It's not too far ahead," she called out, already running towards her pack.

"I'll stay," Auron spoke up. "A fiend could attack any time."

Rikku stopped her haphazard attempts at packing to stare. "You're not going to rush me?" she gawked.

"'Course he won't!" Jecht grinned. "Seems like the lady-killer here's finally movin' in! So... you guys gonna need a full hour or just a half?"

Rikku growled. She chucked the sphere at Jecht's head and winced as he ducked. It hit the Moonflow with a plunk, making a small splash as it sank between the thickly entwined lilies.

"...uh, oops?" she said, watching the bluish glow from the sphere disappear.

Jecht rubbed his chin. "Wait... does this mean it's not on the record anymore?"

Auron grimaced. "And this is why I'm going to stay behind. Lord Braska, please go on before I do something to him," he added, nodding his head at a quickly paling Jecht.

"Whoa, it was just a joke, a joke! I'm really gonna stop drinkin'!" Jecht was saying.

"Best to let him cool down," Braska said, gently steering Jecht away from Auron's harsh glare. "Hopefully we'll have better luck this time." He paused for a moment, his smile wavering. "And, ahh... perhaps it would be best if you keep that sword of yours sheathed, unless you actually see me summoning..."

Auron watched the two men as they moved away, shaking his head at Jecht's near-panicked attempts to reassure Braska of his good intentions. Then he focused his sharp gaze on Rikku, who froze.

"Hey! Why are you staring at me like that? I thought you'd be happy that I wasn't _keeping so many secrets from the rest of us,_" she said, dropping her voice a few octaves as she made quotes in the air with her fingers. "You have no reason to be mad at me right now! Well, except for maybe that sphere I just lost. Uhh... actually, just forget I mentioned it," she ended with a nervous laugh.

Auron rubbed a hand over his face. Then he looked at her again, this time trying to soften his glare - mostly unsuccessfully, Rikku noted. "I'm not angry. I just want to know when and how you ended up telling them your real name."

"It just sorta happened," Rikku shrugged, turning back to her pack and stuffing her few scattered belongings into it. Kneeling at the foot of her mat, she began the tedious job of folding it into a compact roll, feeling a mild sense of annoyance that Auron wasn't actually helping her even though he'd been the one offering to stay behind. "I told Jecht last night, and Braska this morning. I dunno, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

Auron's silence was becoming deafening, so Rikku finally paused and turned around to look at him. _Uh-oh,_ she thought. His glare was back full force.

"Braska I could understand," he said tightly. "But Jecht, of all people? And last night? _After_ he nearly killed you and made a fool of us all?" He peered at her. "Did the shoopuf land a blow to your head that I failed to notice?"

"Hey!" Rikku huffed in indignation, which turned into real annoyance when she lost her tight grip on the bedroll, forcing her to start all over again. "Are you saying I have to be brain damaged just to be honest with my friends? Maybe I just felt like telling him! Jecht isn't as bad as you keep making him out to be, you know. He said he'd stop drinking. Just give him a chance."

This drew a loud snort from Auron. "A chance? He's had several of those and wasted them all. I gave him _a chance_ when _**you**_ convinced me to teach him how to use a sword - and look at what he did with that knowledge." His frown deepened. "Why are you trying so hard to defend him?" He crossed his arms. "It wasn't enough to seduce Braska and myself? You want to target Jecht, now, too?"

The mat flew out of Rikku's hands and towards Auron, though it fortunately didn't join the sphere she'd tossed into the depths of the Moonflow.

"How - how can you even _say_ that?" Rikku yelled, standing now and facing him. "If you would even bother to talk to Jecht instead of yelling at him constantly, you might have known that he's _married_. You might even figure out that he drank so much because he actually _misses_ his wife! Jecht might be a retard, but at least he's a retard who cares about the people close to him!" She bit her tongue so hard it bled before she could add the _Unlike you!_ It didn't matter very much, as Auron seemed to read her intent clearly.

"Oh? So you want someone to reassure you when you're feeling insecure? Is that why you were looking at Braska that way just now, too?"

Rikku felt some of her indignation die down; normally, she'd find Auron acting so unreasonably jealous kind of cute, but he hadn't entirely missed with his last accusation. _Me and my stupid face are like an open book to him._

"Well... it's..." _probably exactly like what you think,_ she amended, considering what Braska had told her. "It's not like I'm consciously trying to do anything! I just get to talking with him sometimes, and then - well, he - he - he's the one making all the moves! Y'know, like POW! Right outta the blue!"

"If you blush like that while he's talking to you, of course he'll keep trying," Auron replied with a hint of heat in his voice. "You're only encouraging him."

Rikku scowled, one part guilt and _three bazillion_ parts annoyance. "Yeah, so what's the big deal anyway? If you're so upset about it, why don't _you_ act like Braska, huh? Or am I not good enough for you?"

Auron stopped talking and crossed his arms, turning his face away from her. He was scowling deeply - an expression that he'd stopped directing at her recently, and seeing it again made her feel somewhat disappointed. Getting up slowly, Rikku inched towards her fallen mat and picked it up, playing with the scuffed sheeting in agitation. _Maybe we're both to blame for it this time... but Auron is more wrong,_ she thought stubbornly. _I won't back down._ Modulating her voice carefully, she cleared her throat. "If you feel something for me, why don't you ever show it?"

Shifting slightly, Auron let out a sigh. "I apologize," he mumbled.

Rikku gave up all pretense of dealing with her bedroll and matched his pose, crossing her arms together with a scowl. "For what? That's the most ambiguous apology I've ever heard!" She sighed, swaying on her feet. "Every time we talk, I walk away feeling more confused than I did before. You don't hate me, but you don't like me either, do you? Sometimes it feels more like you're just _tolerating_ me." She grinned faintly. "Actually, I do wish I _could_ seduce you. At least then I wouldn't be so confused all the time. But then again, you're Auron, the man of steel."

Auron chuckled dryly at that, finally relaxing somewhat and glancing at her way. "I'm flattered that you think so, but I'm not... entirely unaffected." He let out a long sigh. "You seem to have the talent of making fools out of all of us, myself included."

Rikku blinked. "What was that? First an ambiguous apology, now an ambiguous insult? See? _See?_" She grabbed her head and shook it. "Arrgh, you're making me crazy!"

"The feeling is mutual," Auron replied.

"Well, at least the apology part was nice," Rikku said, finally calming down. "You sure have a lot to apologize for. So, do I get to decide what it applies to? 'Cause there's lots of grievances I have to sort out first, then."

Auron laughed, finally unfolding his arms and becoming a somewhat less intimidating figure as he relaxed. "You are bothersome. I suppose I'd expect nothing less from you, Rikku."

"There! You did it again!" Rikku said, jumping up and down and pointing.

"I was apologizing for my failures," Auron relented. "I can't be like Braska. I can't become someone who shows you those emotions that you wish so greatly to see. I'm not that man."

Rikku stilled her motions, surprised by his sudden earnestness. She brought a hand to her mouth, too surprised by his confession to come up with a witty reply.

Auron, of course, interpreted her silence as a critical one, and shifted uncomfortably. Clearing his throat, he turned to face her fully. "I don't know how to express myself openly. Public displays of... affection... or even humor - are foreign to me." He sighed and ran a hand over his head, pushing the unruly strands of hair out of his face.

Rikku smiled to herself; those two strands, even the way his now-decorative red coat was casually shrugged over one shoulder - they were all signs, she realized, of just how far he'd come during the Pilgrimage - maybe just as far as she had. _It must be hard for him,_ she realized. _And then to compare him to Braska... none of us compare to Braska, and we all know it._ She looked away guiltily.

Auron muttered a low curse under his breath, and then she heard his footsteps. Rikku looked up and stifled her yelp of surprise; he was standing closer to her than before. Definitely closer than "just friends" close. Still, his face was screwed into an uncomfortable grimace and he wasn't meeting her eyes. And was that... sweat? Beading on his forehead? Rikku goggled and stared directly into his face. "Are you trying to be romantic? Because I'd really like to know why you look like someone's using thumbscrews on you right now," she said openly, half-caught between surprise and a vague sense of wounded pride. "Come on, I'm not that ugly!"

Auron looked at her quickly, his own expression losing some of its tension in surprise. "No, you're not ugly," he reassured her, looking relieved when Rikku's bristles relaxed at his response. Then he rolled his eyes. "I told you, I'm terrible at... well, _this._"

Rikku did the only thing she could do. She gaped. Auron - no, _Sir _Auron: the most famous and popular Guardian of all time, the only one who had helped defeat Sin _twice,_ the one that Barthello started that fan club for, the very same one for whom Baralai had named several sections of the city of New Bevelle after - _that _Auron was actually a klutz at romance? "You're joking," Rikku said in disbelief, staring at him openly as another one of her precious teenaged Auron-fantasies cracked and splintered almost audibly in her mind. Inner Rikku let out a lingering, mournful howl of despair.

Auron grimaced and looked distinctly uncomfortable, backing away from her. "Well, thank you for your understanding," he said with dripping sarcasm, and Rikku remembered that her face was still an open book.

"Oh! No no no no!" Rikku said, catching his coat as he stepped away and pulling him back in. "I didn't mean that you were joking like that," she laughed nervously. "I meant... um, well, it's just that you're so hot, it's kinda hard to believe you don't have any experience with women." Even as she said it, a new fantasy started to take root in Rikku's mind, her eyes beginning to sparkle. "So does this mean I'm like your first girlfriend?" _Oh yeah!_ Rikku screamed to herself, pumping a mental fist. _Oh, but Jecht better not find out, or Auron'll never hear the end of it, _she thought with a snicker.

Looking annoyed, Auron pushed her away. "I didn't say that," he grumbled, his own pride clearly smarting. "Whatever you were thinking just then, you're wrong," he added for good measure.

Rikku stepped on her imagination before it could run any further than it already had. "Oh, so you mean you're not a virgin?" she asked with disappointment.

Auron stared at her in shock.

"Uhh, never mind," Rikku coughed into her hand.

Dropping his face into his palm, Rikku recognized the calming exercises Auron was practicing. She'd seen it first-hand several times, usually right after he would try to give Tidus some advice. Finally, he looked up warily. "What I meant was that I was trained as a monk in the Church," he explained. "Yevon taught us to turn away from the worldly pleasures of the flesh. We weren't strictly forbidden from doing anything - my friend Kinoc could attest to that. You met him once, when you were incarcerated in Bevelle," he added.

"Yeah," Rikku said, shivering at the memory. "I never thanked you for saving me then."

Auron shrugged. "At that time, I wasn't saving you," he said, and Rikku mentally pleaded with Auron to stop breaking mirrors as she scooped up the remains of yet another fantasy. "Wen is still a warrior-monk, just as I used to be. My actions had more to do with the spirit of Yevon's teachings. We can choose _how_ we follow our own path, but what truly matters is one's intent. His weren't... pure enough."

Rikku chewed her lip thoughtfully, digesting the information. _That's right! Didn't Kinoc say Auron had a girlfriend before, too? I wonder what that was all about..._ "Umm, okay. So what does this have to do with you and me, though? I mean, you aren't a monk anymore, right?"

"That..." Auron said distantly. "Yes, I did choose to leave the Order; but, as I said... I believe intent is more important than meaningless titles." He looked at her again. "I don't mean to insult you. And... I do find you attractive," he added haltingly. "But I can't simply let go of a lifetime of teachings just to suit your own whims."

Rikku felt her frown returning. "You didn't have to say it that way," she pointed out, and Auron grimaced and grabbed her arm before she could walk away.

"I'm... pleased," he said, looking increasingly uncomfortable. "I'm pleased that you told the others your real name. Honesty is the basis for true trust and friendship. It is what we're all going to need to see this Pilgrimage through to the end. What you did took courage and I respect you for it," he finished, and Rikku thought she saw a slight hint of color in his normally pale face.

_Wow..._ Rikku felt herself gawking again and shut her mouth. "Uhh, o-okay," she replied, suddenly feeling her nervousness return. So maybe he _wasn't_ as hopeless as she had originally thought, if he could make her heart speed up just by being blunt. _I really should say something, but... sweet Shiva, he sure is good-looking up close..._ Heart in her throat, Rikku stared at him, feeling the seconds tick by as Auron grew increasingly restless, tightening his grip on her arm.

"And..." He paused, unable to meet her eyes despite their close proximity. "...I was jealous," he muttered reluctantly under his breath.

"J-jealous?" Rikku squeaked, and Auron let out a long sigh, his face darkening a little more.

"I was upset because it is no longer..."

Rikku waited expectantly, prodding him with a hesitant finger when he failed to continue. "No longer what?"

Auron rolled his eyes. "You really are going to destroy me completely, aren't you?" he muttered under his breath. Then he looked at her squarely. "It's no longer our secret," he finished stoutly. _Definitely a blush now,_ Rikku observed.

It took a few moments before the fireworks finally exploded over her head. A few very long moments, during which a clearly uncomfortable Auron began to panic, in his own stiff-lipped way.

"... what I meant was that it's no longer something just between you and I. It was... special, I suppose. Something that brought us closer." His discomfort faded as he continued. "It was something that not even Braska had," he added quietly. Then he stiffened as Rikku threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"I understand," she whispered. "You... you really do care." Squeezing her eyes shut, she inhaled the musky scent of his cloak as she buried her nose in it. Then, unable to repress it any longer, she giggled. "I like you, too!"

Clearing his throat, Auron finally managed to separate Rikku from himself. He was still obviously embarrassed by her mirthful dancing and giggles, though. "Don't expect this sort of thing to become the norm just because we are together," he said gruffly.

"He likes me, he likes me!" Rikku sang loudly to herself, completely ignoring Auron's chagrin.

With a sigh, he bent down and picked up Rikku's forgotten bedroll, throwing it over her head and effectively ending her impromptu dance. "I can't bring myself to say these sorts of foolish things in public constantly, so enjoy your victory while it lasts," he added darkly.

Rikku batted the cover off of her head, completely unaffected by Auron's warning. "Party pooper! But don't worry, I'll act embarrassing enough for the both of us!" she added with a wink.

Auron stared at her with his _serious_ face, and Rikku stopped teasing and swallowed.

"Uh, but not in public?" she added with a slight cringe. She was completely unprepared when he grabbed her arm again and pulled her in. So unprepared that her eyes were still open when his lips touched her own.

_Warm... his kiss is warm._

Pulling away, Auron granted her the briefest of smiles. "That managed to shut you up," he noted.

* * *

_**AN:**__ Deepest thanks again to my beta, Fwe. The title comes from the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" except it's a pun... sort of... okay I'll stop now._


	26. Blitzoff

**- Chapter 26: Blitzoff -**

"Uuwuh," Jecht groaned, holding a hand over his mouth. Surreptitiously, Rikku skirted a little further away from him. "I feel seasick."

Auron frowned. "We're not even on the sea."

Jecht didn't reply, instead leaning over the side of the palanquin while turning a distinct shade of green. Rikku felt a little sorry for him. His face looked pale and clammy, and she suspected that it had very little to do with the gentle swaying of the shoopuf. Despite their early start, the traffic crossing the river had been backed up considerably - mostly thanks to Jecht's ill-thought attack - and their journey hadn't begun until late afternoon. Apparently, it was already more than enough for Jecht to start feeling the effects of his bold declaration of sobriety.

In a strange way, she thought it was actually encouraging to see him suffering this badly. Jecht had managed the crossing this far without drinking any hard liquor at all; in fact, there had been several times before during Braska's Pilgrimage that he had seemed just fine even without a bottle in his hand. Rikku was left to guess that most of his "sea"-sickness was more the reality of his decision to stay clean hitting home than anything else. If that really were the case, she thought with a smirk, the sicker Jecht got, the better it would be for the rest of them.

Jecht burped wetly again, and even Braska looked a little green around the gills.

Maybe not exactly _better,_ Rikku amended. With a sigh, she scooted to the railing and joined Jecht, who was hanging over the side miserably. "Hey, are you gonna be all right?" she asked.

Jecht waved one hand at her, the other covering his mouth. "Murrrp," he managed to gurgle, and Rikku swallowed her own gag at the sound. She turned away - if he was actually going to vomit, then she _really_ didn't want to see it firsthand - and then stopped as a glimmer under the water's surface caught her eye.

"Jecht! You can't puke here! Look!" Rikku said excitedly, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it as she pointed at the water.

"What the hell - 'ey, lemmie go!" Jecht growled at her. He stopped struggling and let out a low whistle as Rikku pushed his head down towards the water. "Is that... a city?" he asked, squinting at the buildings rising from the river's depths.

"Yep," Rikku said cheerfully. "A sunken city!"

"Legend tells it was once a glorious city filled with wondrous machina," Braska added as he joined them, looking into the water. "The pride of its people became so great, however, that the bridges supporting the city collapsed under their own weight, destroying it forever."

"Maybe," Jecht mumbled. "But I bet it looked really cool while it lasted."

"You're missing the point of the lesson entirely," Auron called out, still seated across from them with his arms folded tightly against his chest. Despite his studied aloofness, Rikku noted with a giggle that he, too, was glancing over his own shoulder to observe the city passing below them.

"Hey... you know," Rikku said as an idea formed, "I bet it _still_ looks really cool!"

Jecht looked up sharply at Rikku's tone, and then a grin tugged at his mouth. "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" he asked, and Rikku waggled her eyebrows before pulling up her goggles and fixing them securely over her eyes.

"C'mon, let's go!" she yelled, jumping up and taking a deep breath as she dove off the side of the palanquin. The vague sound of Braska and Auron's cries of surprise were drowned out as she hit the water with a splash, a sudden shock of cold against the heat of the midday sun.

_Now this is more like it!_ Rikku thought gleefully as she angled herself downwards and pumped her legs, descending towards the city as quickly as she could. A flurry of bubbles passed her, and Rikku noticed that Jecht was quickly outpacing her as he swam by. _Showoff,_ she thought with a frown, redoubling her efforts to reach the city first.

The sparkling sunlight overhead faded into a hazy blue in the depths of the Moonflow. Seaweed and algae of impossible size drifted up lazily, their numbers so thick that she couldn't make out much more than indistinct shadows in the depths of the river. Taking a moment to lazily turn in the water, Rikku enjoyed the cool atmosphere around her. Sounds and sensations were dampened, making it feel like a relaxing escape from the hectic world above. After a moment of letting herself free-float, Rikku sighed mentally - it would have cost too much air to do it underwater - and decided to look for Jecht. She knew she could hold her breath for at least fifteen minutes, maybe even more if she stretched it - all that diving Cid kept sending her off to do had paid off, after all. As for Jecht, she had no idea what he was capable of. Then again, he did play Blitzball for a living, and if Keepa could fall asleep underwater and live to tell about it she probably had nothing to worry about.

At the nearest curved roof she could see, Rikku began scanning the murky deep for Jecht. Her frown grew as she swam among the buildings; he was nowhere in sight, and she was beginning to worry. _I should've at least warned him there could be fiends down here,_ Rikku thought to herself. Cautiously, she stuck her head into the crumbled ruins of what was looked to be once an apartment building of some sort - and drew back suddenly, struggling to keep from choking as a wild-eyed Jecht surged out from the window.

Unable to yell at him despite her pounding heart, Rikku settled for a deep scowl and a few unmistakable gestures with her arm. Jecht, however, simply grinned at her with a look of relief.

_He was worried? About me? As if,_ Rikku scoffed, and then caught herself. _Well... actually, I guess I was worried, too,_ and with a sheepish smile she finally returned Jecht's thumbs-up. He gestured for her to follow, and then swam back inside the building. _Oooh, treasure hunting!_

Instinctively, she began to eye the corroded surfaces and crumbling ruins inside for telltale signs of discarded machina. Jecht, however, seemed to be less interested in poking around the rubble and instead swam purposefully in front of her, quickly bypassing several rooms. With one last, longing glance, Rikku followed him; obviously, something down there had him excited.

It was actually kind of nice, diving with someone who had never seen Spira's underwater ruins before; what could be considered "normal" to an average diver was still a foreign paradise to someone like Jecht. With a smile, Rikku wondered if he was going to point out some of the city's stranger, impossibly rounded architecture or maybe even lead her to some sort of useful machina that hadn't yet been unearthed -

"Brrruf!" Rikku coughed in surprise as she squeezed through yet another doorway and into a large, open courtyard with an impossibly high ceiling - one that she and Jecht were scraping the surface of as they swam across the room. The sheer volume wasn't what made her jerk back in surprise; it was the activity _below_ them that caught her attention. Jecht was still swimming in circles and pointing every now and then at something that caught his eye.

Rikku treaded the water, looking around with wide eyes. _I never realized..._ Of course it made sense, once she thought about it. They had to live _somewhere,_ after all.

Below them, darting around the water in streaks, was a school of hypello. It was perhaps what she might call a 'city' - though their gathering certainly bore no resemblance to the metropolis of Bevelle. Rikku had never seen so many together at once; their long, stretched bodies, so clumsy on the land, served them well underwater. They weaved and dodged among themselves, densely packed and yet still perfectly coordinated, as though their movements were some sort of universally understood dance. Occasionally, smaller groups of hypello would break away from the larger mass, swimming around each other quickly in circular formations to form a tightly-knit ball - a feat of acrobatics that not even the best blitzball players could ever hope to compete with.

Rikku watched, fascinated, as several of the hypello clusters broke off, drifted away, and then reformed seamlessly with the masses below them. Silver and blue, they blended with the water so well it was dizzying. Their yellow eyes shone, pinpricks of light in the darkness. It was strange, definitely disturbing, and yet somehow inhumanly beautiful; Rikku was having a hard time connecting the slow, gangly creatures of the surface with the graceful ballet being orchestrated before her eyes.

Jecht tugged at her arm, and Rikku watched, fascinated, when another living orb of hypello drifted towards them. As they approached, the group broke apart and positioned themselves near the ceiling. One hypello swam closer with a graceful flick of its body; it moved sinuously like an eel, its arms and legs plastered to its side.

"Yoo are vishitoooors, yesh?" it said, and Rikku gawked. The heavy-sounding accent of the hypello's voice was nearly exactly the same as its brethren on the surface, save for the change in pitch due to the water surrounding them. Looking over at Jecht, she gave the curious hypello a smile and nodded quickly, hoping that its placid observation was as innocuous as it sounded_. Well, I never heard of a violent hypello before, but I don't think I ever heard of anyone crashing a hypello party, either..._

The hypello half-turned and crooned something to the others, who closed in eagerly. Rikku thought she might have begun to sweat, if not for the fact that she was underwater. The other hypello were responding with strange clicks and cries of their own - a completely different language, it would seem. After a moment, though, one word could be made out that was being chanted repeatedly by the excited group.

"B-b-b-bliiitz, blitz, bliiiitz!"

Rikku blinked. They weren't really -

Jecht swam past her, a broad grin on his face. He thumbed his chest and then proudly struck a blitzing pose underwater and the hypello circled him at a dizzying speed, their chants growing louder. Apparently, fish-men or not, when it came to blitzball fans Jecht was _always_ in his element. Rikku resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Yoooou humannninman, human," the hypello Rikku was beginning to think of as the spokesperson said to Jecht. Then it turned an eye - only one, actually, which was rather odd in and of itself - onto Rikku. "And yoo Al Bhed!"

Rikku and Jecht exchanged similar glances of confusion, before she turned to the spokesman - or maybe it was a woman - and gave it a clueless shrug. _Why is it important?_ she wanted to ask.

The hypello swam around her in a graceful arc. "Al Bhed not sho bad, but humanimans need ze shurface..." Now it was Jecht's turn to look insulted as the swarming hypello ignored him mid-pose and started circling around her instead, chanting something that sounded suspiciously like _"bed-bed-bed!"_

_Really,_ Rikku thought to herself, crossing her arms with a sulk. So what if she had darker skin, spiral pupils and a general propensity towards Blitzball superiority because of her lung capacity? She was just as human as anyone else! It wasn't like she was a _Guado-_

Rikku checked the thought as she considered it. _But no matter how much I don't like them, Guado are still people, too._ It was that kind of thinking that made Seymour who he was, she realized. And up until Yuna's calm, most Spirans didn't seem to think of Al Bhed as entirely _human,_ either. Looking at the colony below, the lines between the races were becoming as blurred as the graceful figures of the hypello themselves. If she was honest with herself, Rikku had grouped them together simply as another one of Macalania's varied beastfolk, so different from herself that any attempt to understand what made them tick was destined to be futile. It was an easy thing to do with a people who were so alien to her own lifestyle.

Tobli had been the first to truly push for more widespread acceptance of the beast races among the human population; hypello, however, didn't seem to have the temperament for the same sort of passionate crusade. Most people thought of them exactly as how they presented themselves - quiet, simplistic creatures who stayed out of the way of others, living peaceful and reclusive lives.

The swarm below her was anything but simple or reclusive, though. They chattered noisily amongst themselves, and the group of youths - at least Rikku _thought_ they were youths - that had surrounded them were just as energetic and unruly as any land-dwelling teenagers, clearly curious to meet and talk to both her and Jecht. If she thought about it, several hypello had already mastered Spira's surface tongue despite it being so foreign from their own language of aquatic trills. Even if their speech sounded clumsy and slow to a land-dweller's ear, could there really be any surer sign of intelligence than that? After all, as far as she knew no _human_ had ever mastered the hypello language - and few seemed to realize that such a language even _existed._ Up until a few minutes ago, she herself had been one of those people, Rikku thought with embarrassment.

The hypello cloud finally stopped their furious rotation around her and gathered back into their communal ball of perpetual motion, save for the one who was speaking with them. "Will yoo show ussh your blitz?"

Jecht was already giving the hypello an eager thumbs up as Rikku held up her hands and shook her head. _Whoa-whoa-whoa!_ She shot Jecht a warning look - _how can you blitz without other players?_ Jecht, seeming to understand her, grinned and pointed a finger at her.

_One-on-one?_ Rikku felt her eyes widening in disbelief and struggled to keep her jaw closed. As it was, she'd been letting out enough air already. If she had to admit it, Rikku knew she was no slouch at blitzing, but Tidus - heck, even _chubby Wakka_ could beat her any day of the week with his eyes closed; she wasn't a professional! And hadn't Tidus said his father was a legend? She sagged, letting herself be buoyed by the water, and Jecht gave her an encouraging slap on the back.

"We'll bring ze ball," the hypello crooned cheerfully. "Shee yoo topshide!"

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku broke the surface of the water, gasping for air, and shook her head. Twisting around, she finally spotted the large shoopuf a short distance away. Jecht surfaced next to her in a spray of water, inhaling deeply before whooping.

"All right! Real blitzball, at last! I'll show ya what I can do!" he roared, raising a fist over his head and sending another spray of water into Rikku's goggles.

Pulling them off and wiping them down irately, Rikku turned around to face him. "Hey, what's the big idea? Who said I wanted to play Blitzball with you anyway?"

Jecht stopped splashing around, and his face fell slightly as he tread the water. "Ya mean you can't play? Well, you _are_ a girl, but I thought what with you holdin' yer breath an' all..."

Rikku hit the water with her palm, sending a wave flying into Jecht's face. "I can too play!"

"Then what's the problem?" Jecht's broad smile returned. "C'mon, let's show 'em what I can do!"

"What _you_ can do? Gee, thanks," Rikku muttered under her breath. "Listen, just because I know how to blitz doesn't mean I can play one-on-one! I'm a mid-fielder! I block passes, I don't score goals! Have you even _looked _at my legs lately?"

Jecht rolled his eyes. "Well, that would be Auron's job, wouldn't it? 'Sides, you don't need to shoot to play 'gainst me. It won't be a real game, just a chance for me to catch up a little bit, show my stuff, y'know."

Rikku eyed him suspiciously. Blitzing was a pretty rough game. She couldn't count how many black and blue spots she'd gotten trying to win that stupid prize egg necklace that Yuna had wanted so badly in the Gullwing team's last tournament. "Fine... as long as the only thing I have to do is pass the ball to you. No blocking, no tackling, no shooting at me, got it?"

Jecht grinned broadly. "You'll be fine, Blondie!"

"Fine. Yeah," Rikku squeaked, wishing her voice hadn't risen a few octaves as she vicariously relived a few of Tidus' Sphere Shots. "I'm gonna go tell the others what we're doing," she added.

"'Ey, get 'em to come in with us! Then it can be a _real_ game! All of you against me!"

"I'd rather eat the blitzball first," Rikku grumbled to herself as she set off for the shoopuf at a brisk pace. It wasn't too difficult; unlike the hypello, a shoopuf was nearly as slow in the water as it was on land. She caught up easily, hoisting herself up on its finned tail and earning a mammoth grunt of displeasure from the creature. "Sorry!" she called out, scrambling up the back of the shoopuf and towards the palanquin monkey-style.

"Rikku! What happened? Where's Jecht?" Braska asked, standing up immediately.

"Lord Braska, please sit down, that's dangerous. If Jecht knows blitzball half as well as he claims to, he should be fine," Auron interrupted, glaring at her from his position on the seat. It looked like he hadn't moved _at all_ since she'd last seen him.

Rikku hung onto the outer edge of the palanquin, mindful of the water streaming off of her body. "Yeah, about that... well, we met some hypello while we were swimming and we kinda got pulled into a blitzball game."

"With what team?" Auron asked, gesturing at the seemingly empty river around them.

"Well, er... just me," Rikku laughed, toying with a braid, which she nearly yanked off her head when she slipped and lost her balance on the shoopuf's slick hide. With a hiss of surprise, she planted both hands firmly back on the railing. "Oww... slippery..."

"Be careful!" Auron scolded her, and she noticed he'd half-risen out of his seat.

"Hey, I'm all right! It's not like I can't swim," she reassured him quickly, and then blinked as Braska laughed.

"Auron, perhaps _you_ should be the one to sit down?" he teased, and with a fierce expression Auron quickly seated himself - this time on the side she was hanging from.

Rikku made a face at him. "What's with you?" When he didn't answer, she turned to Braska, who was still smiling, for an explanation.

"Auron doesn't know how to swim," Braska whispered to her confidentially, though she was sure the man in question knew exactly what she was being told.

"Ohh," Rikku said thoughtfully. "Umm, well, that's all right. I mean lots of people don't know how to swim..." _not_, she thought to herself. Usually it was only city-dwellers who were faced with that problem; with Spira being covered in as much water as it was, nearly every provincial citizen knew at least how to keep themselves afloat. "So I guess that means you won't be joining us, huh," she added with a note of disappointment. "What about you, Braska?" She turned pleading eyes onto the Summoner, silently begging him not to leave her to face Jecht's blitzball frenzy alone.

"Ah, well. I'm afraid I'll have to pass," Braska told her with a light smile, seating himself next to Auron. "I learned how to swim during my time with the Al Bhed, but my constitution leaves a little something to be desired."

"It can't be that bad..." Rikku protested.

"One minute and thirty-seven seconds," Braska told her with a hint of embarrassment.

"... yeah, umm. What I meant was it can't be a bad idea to stick around Auron right now," Rikku finished, trying to stifle her snigger.

"I'm grateful for your concern," Auron grumbled, still stinging over the revelation of his weakness. As he looked away sourly, Rikku pounced with a mischievous grin.

"Cheer up," she cooed, hefted herself across the railing without warning and dropping her arms around him. Inevitably, his coat was quickly soaked through with water, though he only tried to shake her off half-heartedly. "If you look on the bright side, this means I'll get to have fun teaching you how to swim later on!"

"If we have the time for such diversions," Auron said gruffly, though the scowl had eased off of his face. He cleared his throat and tilted his head towards Braska, and Rikku let go of his neck reluctantly.

"Oh, please don't restrain yourselves," Braska said amicably. "I fully plan to attend those promised sessions myself. Perhaps I can improve my own time underwater."

Rikku blanched and Auron mumbled something that sounded like "_then go ask Jecht"_ under his breath.

"Listen," she told them, "I gotta go. I bet Jecht's waiting already, but I promise it won't take too long. We'll be back before you know it!"

Auron caught her arm before she could dive off. "Be careful," he said seriously, turning around to look at her. "Both of you. There are still fiends in that water, and if something happens..." He looked vaguely upset. "... I couldn't rescue you."

Rikku stared, a blush crossing her face. Had he really just said that?

Even Braska was regarding him with a touch of wonder, and Auron dropped his head with a low oath. _"... really will ruin me,"_ he muttered, and Rikku let out a tiny snicker. It turned into a scream as Auron glared and pushed her backwards into the water. She hit it with a splash; sputtering as she tread the water, she stared at the retreating palanquin incredulously.

"Hey! I'm gonna get you for that!"

Auron waved a hand over the railing, already turning his back to her. "Hnn. Watch yourself," she heard him say as the shoopuf drifted away.

Rikku hit the water with her palm again. "Some boyfriend!" she seethed.

"Blondie! 'Ey, over here!" Turning around, Rikku spotted Jecht waving. Ripples in the water surrounded him, and at first Rikku thought they might have been fish-fiends until a few yellow, bulbous eyes broke the surface and blinked at her.

"Oooh," Rikku said, suddenly feeling nervous. As if in response, Jecht tossed a blitzball - tattered, but still in working order - into the air and waved at her. Putting on her goggles, Rikku whimpered to herself. "Here goes nothing..." Taking a deep breath, she dove under the surface of the water and started swimming towards Jecht. The cool grasp of the water was comforting to her, and Rikku marveled at the hypello who had joined them. They were spreading out in a widening arc between herself and Jecht, swimming in wide circles and forming a living sphere ring around them. _Wow,_ she thought, watching their bodies casting moving shadows into the water where they blocked the bright sunlight streaming in from above.

Something hit her in the back, and spinning around Rikku caught the falling blitzball out of pure reflex. She looked up and saw Jecht grinning a shark smile and beckoning to her to pass the ball.

_I can do this,_ Rikku thought, and with a grin - or maybe a grimace, depending on how you looked at it, she began swimming in small circles to build her speed. When her blood was pumping, she stopped abruptly and sent the blitzball flying towards Jecht with a hard right throw.

He looked pleased as the ball came towards him and almost lazily flipped over in the water. Rikku's eyes widened; that was Tidus' signature move. Hastily swimming out of Jecht's line of fire, she watched as he completed the flip, connecting a foot to the blitzball and sending it rocketing out of their hypello-made "sphere." Nearly as quickly as the shot had been fired, one of the hypello separated from the group and swam after the ball. The others were busy cooing and trilling loudly, even as Jecht lifted his arms over his head and mouthed _I'm the best!_ clumsily underwater.

"Al-Bheeeed!" Turning at the watery cry, Rikku caught the blitzball that was sailing towards her. She looked at the ball in her hand in surprise, and then back at the hypello, which was already rejoining its comrades in the circle. _That fast? But he shot it pretty hard..._ She turned towards Jecht and saw that the smirk had faded from his face. A grin was beginning to bloom on Rikku's own, though - Jecht might not have been playing blitzball against her, but apparently the innocent hypello could make his pride smart. With a frown, Jecht motioned at her to pass the ball again.

_Oh no, two can play at this game!_ Rikku thought, her competitive streak firing up. Swimming around to build up her speed once more, she gripped the blitzball in her hands and forced herself into a spin. _C'mon, c'mon,_ she thought, feeling Jecht's eyes on her as she attempted to whirl around the way Judda had taught her. _Just a little more spin on it, and then... release! _With a grin of triumph, Rikku let her _special_ pass fly. Jecht's expression turned into one of disbelief as he dived out of the way of the ball. One of the hypello broke off from the group and caught it - not too difficult of a feat, considering that her pass couldn't obtain anything near the speed of one of Jecht's shots - but as it swam to return the ball, it wavered unsteadily. The hypello's eyes blinked once, then twice before falling completely shut. Then it let out a loud, watery snore, drifting aimlessly through the water.

_Oops,_ Rikku thought, watching the hypello float away before it was rescued by one of its brethren. _Maybe using a Nap Pass wasn't the brightest idea..._ The remaining hypello seemed to disagree, crooning and hooting in a strange mix of cheers to encourage her. She grinned and waved at Jecht sheepishly, who simply glared and bunted the ball back at her. _Right,_ _this is his show._ Circling once again, Rikku threw a simple vanilla pass at Jecht as an on-the-fly apology.

This time, Jecht caught the ball with his hands, which surprised Rikku. Then, with a twist of his torso, he began spinning, faster and faster. _Hey... did he just copy me? So not fair!_ Rikku thought petulantly, watching him whirl through the water. More unfair was the fact that he seemed to get the hang of the spin almost instantly. It had taken her _weeks_ to learn that! He kept on going, to the point where the water was beginning to cyclone underneath him. Then, coming out of the spin, he let the ball fly.

Rikku felt the pressure of the water rushing past her face as the speed of the ball flying by her cheek left a vacuum in its wake. The hypello parted, and Rikku spun around, but she couldn't even _see_ the ball, let alone track it. _How'd he get it that fast with his arms alone? Shoot, he really is a pro!_ Whirling to face Jecht, her eyebrows rose incredulously, and he responded with a smug grin that just screamed _"Eat that!"_ The grin dropped, however, as another hypello dutifully approached her, ball in hand.

Biting back a snigger, Rikku felt a niggling sense of pity for Jecht. She had to admit, he was giving an impressive performance - and the hypello seemed to be eating it up, just like a perfect audience. Their innocent, unassuming way of avoiding his shots and returning his goals, however, was seriously annoying Jecht. It was hard to claim he was the best when a couple of non-blitzers were inadvertently outshining him. _C'mon, Jecht... the only way you could beat them is if you grew gills,_ Rikku thought as she prepared another pass.

This time, Jecht simply paddled in place and delivered a powerful kick to the ball. _What's he trying to do now?_ Rikku thought, watching the ball speed past her. The answer came with a loud thump, as the kick actually connected with one of the swimming hypello, knocking it out of formation and sending the ball flying back towards Jecht. Rikku felt a lump of dread forming in her stomach. _Is he nuts?_

As if in answer, Jecht flipped once again. Rikku observed the movement with anxiety, her rising panic making it seem as though he was moving in slow motion. His foot connected with the ball, and another hypello went down. _He IS nuts! Gotta go, go-go-go!_ Rikku thought anxiously, swimming as swiftly as she could for the edge of the hypello ring. She didn't see, she _felt_ Jecht reaching back, probably sucking the surrounding water with him as he knuckled the ball, and she just _knew_ she should have worn her Lady Luck dressphere down here -

"Booooh!" The air rushed out of Rikku's lungs explosively as the blitzball hit her retreating back. _Oww,_ she thought dizzily as she lost her orientation, flipping head over heels in the water. Somewhere behind her she knew Jecht was already in a spin, putting the finishing move on the Not-So-Sublimely-Magnificent-When-You-Got-Hit-By-It Jecht Shot Mark II. She might have felt sorry for the hypello he struck with his final blow, but the problem of getting her air back had a higher priority. Coughing, she inhaled a mouthful of water and began clawing her way to the surface blindly. _I need air and I knew this would happen and it hurts and I need air but I can't see anything and I need air and Auron's not gonna come and I REALLY need air..._ Thrashing around, she came into contact with something soft; eyes flying open, Rikku realized she'd been angling downwards towards the riverbed, and felt a moment of panic. _I won't make it to the surface!_ She looked up, desperate, and saw yellow. _What?_

The hypello blinked at her once, and suddenly, she was _flying._ There was no other way to describe it; she felt like she was one of Jecht's blitzballs, streaming through the water so quickly that she would have hurt her eyes, were it not for her goggles. The hypello was gripping her arms firmly, shooting towards the surface in a stream of silver and bubbles, and for the briefest of moments Rikku felt jealous of every fish she had ever seen.

And then her ears were roaring as the pressure broke and she crested the surface. The hypello released her, making a graceful arc over her head before dipping soundlessly back into the water with almost no splash. Rikku's own return was not quite as graceful; she coughed and sputtered, sending sprays of water all around her as she expelled the water from her lungs. Finally, her heart slowed down to something less than racing Chocobo speed and she managed to pace herself at a steady tread in the water.

Her back stung; even without looking Rikku knew she was going to develop a perfectly blitzball-shaped bruise between her shoulder blades. _I can't believe I was feeling sorry for him!_ "Arrg!" she screamed, slapping the water furiously. She heard a splash and twisted around, her face set in an angry snarl.

Jecht was treading the water next to her, hair plastered to his face and his eyes wide. He opened his mouth, and Rikku reached over and slapped him.

"You jerk! That really really hurt! I told you not to do that!" she yelled.

"... you can hit me again," Jecht mumbled, rolling onto his back and floating listlessly.

Calming down somewhat, Rikku scowled at him. "I should." He said nothing, and her scowl deepened. "I should tell the others, you know. Then Auron'll _really_ kill you. They won't even find _pieces._" He still didn't respond, and Rikku hit the water with frustration. "Braska would help, too!"

"Maybe I should leave," Jecht said suddenly, and Rikku stopped ranting.

"Huh?"

"Leave this whole Pilgrimage thing," he added, squinting at the clouds. "I almost got ya killed two times now. I can't even keep my promises, see?"

Rikku paddled through the water quietly. It was hard to try and respond to that, especially when her back was still smarting. "Well, everybody makes mistakes every once in a while. Maybe you just make more than the rest of us," she said cheerfully.

Jecht finally turned his head and gave her a half-hearted glare. "What if we reach the other side an' I mess up again? What if it's Auron next time? Or Braska? I can't stop thinkin' about it. Just one drink. Just one more to say g'bye."

"Don't you think you're strong enough?" Rikku asked.

"What does it matter? You said it. I'm a jerk anyway, even when I ain't drunk." He flipped upright and faced her. "You should go catch up with 'em. Tell Braska I drowned or somethin'. I can still reach the shore from here."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You? Drown? Like they'd believe me! Don't be stupid and come back with me already," she said.

"Why? There ain't nothin' good 'bout me," Jecht answered with a viciousness that took Rikku by surprise. "Abandonin' my woman for the bottle... an' then I never really got to know my kid. I wanna see him so bad it hurts, but he hates me. Hell, he's probably happy I'm gone. I can't even stop hurtin' the people tryin' to help me right now! I ain't nothin' but bad news for everyone, so maybe I should just disappear." He sniffed once, and then looked at her with bright eyes. "Tell me this, though. You know my boy. You said he grows up just fine. So... you _know,_ don'tcha. Do I ever get back to Zanarkand? _My_ Zanarkand?"

Rikku looked at Jecht; he was less of the cocky blitzball hero they had come to know and looking more like a pathetic waterlogged child at the moment. Uncertainty and depression had him hunching over, making him appear smaller than he really was, and even his wet hair drooped without any of its usual wild life.

_This man saves Spira,_ she told herself sternly. _You have to lie so he can go on. _She opened her mouth, and in an increasingly worrisome trend something spilled out of it that she hadn't intended.

"No," she said softly.

Jecht closed his eyes.

"... but come back anyway," she added, feeling stupid. "Braska needs you."

"He don't need a good for nothin' like me," Jecht said bitterly.

Rikku didn't know how to answer him, but suddenly, the water erupted. Instantly, Jecht and Rikku were on alert, but their panic died down as they realized it was only Jecht's hypello fan club leaping around them. One - the spokesperson, Rikku recognized - swam up to them and lifted its head fully out of the water.

"Thank yoo!" it crooned, eyeing Jecht with something close to adoration. _Guess it's a female, _Rikku concluded.

"For what?" Jecht asked nervously; he had, after all, knocked a couple of them cold with his last trick.

"That wash wonderful!" the hypello cooed. "We love blitzball, but noooobody ever comes to vishit..." it added. "Hypello never get to shee..."

Rikku thought about it, nodding to herself. "Right... I haven't seen too many hypello in Luca's stadium, either." _A hypello blitzball team... they'd be laughed out of town before they got near the locker rooms,_ Rikku realized. _And the Al Bhed Psyches would probably be leading the crowd, too._ "So... you guys aren't mad, then?" she asked, just to be certain.

"Mad?" The hypello blinked at her, then Jecht, and Rikku tried not to wince as it did that weird split-eye thing again to look at them both. "Yoo are heroes! Firsht humaniman to play jusht for ussh!" It swam around Jecht smoothly, surrounding him with pleasant ripples. "Hero!" it crooned happily, and the other hypello decided to join in, clicking and squeaking and occasionally trying to copy the word, though it came out sounding more like a chorus of _"E-rows."_

"Wow," Rikku said, watching as the group of hypello slipped away into the depths of the Moonflow. "I guess they really like you," she grinned.

The look of surprise hadn't quite fallen off of Jecht's face; his brows rose nearly to his bandana. "Why're they so pumped? All we did was blitz a little, and I even hurt some of 'em!"

Rikku smiled. "You did something for them that nobody ever has before," she informed him.

"Eh?"

"You treated them like equals," Rikku pointed out. "You're a regular Hypello Hero!" she added with a small cheer.

"Uhh," Jecht said, his face turning red. "I guess... if you say so," he mumbled. "Compared to those guys, I ain't no blitzin' hero though."

"You're not their hero just because you're a guy that can blitz," Rikku said, splashing some water his way. "They like you because they saw something in you. The same thing that Braska does. Even me, I guess... when you're not trying to drown me," she added with a small smirk.

"But I-" Jecht protested.

"You're not bad news," Rikku cut him off impatiently. "The Neptune Sigil chose you, didn't it? There must be a reason. You know, I always thought Auron was your toughest critic, but maybe I'm wrong," she added. "After all, you're the only one who wants to give up on yourself. What happened to all that resolve from last night?"

Jecht grimaced. "Maybe it died when you told me I was gonna be stuck here," he pointed out.

"Uhh," Rikku said, losing her concentration and dipping under the water momentarily. _Darn it,_ she thought, coughing as she surfaced. "Hey... you don't know the whole story," she said angrily. "And you shouldn't! Who ever said the future is set in stone? And why are you taking my word like it's the law, now? You're the one who's always joking about how wrong I am about everything, aren't you?"

Jecht wavered uncertainly, looking between the slowly shrinking figure of the shoopuf and the distant shore of the Moonflow.

"Jecht," Rikku said, waving and centering his attention back on herself. "I'm fine, okay? No harm, no foul. And besides, think of this as your big chance."

"Chance for what?" Jecht raised an eyebrow.

"To actually _become_ a hero, not just look like one on the spheres," she said. "To turn into a dad Tidus could be proud of. I think you got a pretty good start today."

With a sigh, Jecht shook his head. "You sure you ain't gonna regret this later?" he asked, paddling alongside her.

"Nope," Rikku said cheerfully. "But it's your job to convince me that this isn't a mistake, right? That's the point!"

"Some pep talk," Jecht mumbled to himself, before diving into the water and streaking off towards the shoopuf.

"Yes!" Rikku said to herself. Then she realized she was rapidly being left behind. "Wait a sec... hey, no fair! You're not supposed to leave the girl behind, especially after you hit her!" A small trail of bubbles from under the water's surface was his only reply. "Fine, see if I ever do anything nice for you again," she grumbled, before huffing and flipping herself underwater.

She took her time swimming back; Jecht seemed to be in a hurry, as though he might change his mind if he delayed, and all she saw of him was a bright stream of bubbles. Back still aching, Rikku watched the city below her passing by. _Hmm... it really is pretty. I wonder why I always end up getting beat up whenever I come here, though,_ she thought with a touch of annoyance. A flash of silver caught her eye, and Rikku smiled as she saw the last of the hypello darting away between the ruins of the ancient city.

_Those guys... I wonder why I never saw them before? They must be just as affected by Sin as the rest of us, but they just seem so... relaxed, always happy to help the rest of us. Like most of the beast-men in Spira; Sin's sorrow just doesn't seem to touch them._ She frowned thoughtfully as she swam. _Maybe someone could help __**them**__ out for once. I should talk to Yuna about it, she has enough clout to do something..._

Rikku stopped herself from going down that path, grabbing her head and shaking it. _No... not going to think that way anymore. I promised myself I'd be here from now on. Just like Jecht - no more relapses!_ Setting off at a quick pace, she sped through the water mentally chanting her new mantra to herself.

When she finally reached the shoopuf, Jecht was already there, dripping water all over everything. Auron, for once, didn't seem to be making a big issue out of it. He winced as he watched her clamoring over the slick hide of the shoopuf to rejoin them, and his grip on the railing was turning his knuckles white. Rikku suspected his reticence was more due to his discomfort around the open water than any actual leniency.

"So did you have fun blitzing?" Auron asked dryly as she pulled herself over the railing.

"Weeell," Rikku said, drawing the word out as she eyed Jecht. She made a show of cracking her back and rolling her shoulders, and Jecht looked progressively more uncomfortable with each passing second. New leaf or not, she really thought he needed to sweat a little; her back still _hurt._ Finally, she stopped stretching and smiled widely. "Actually, Jecht's become a hypello hero!"

Auron rolled his eyes. "Forget that I asked," he mumbled.

"Really," Braska said, chuckling at them both. "A hypello hero? That's a good first step towards defeating Sin, isn't it? It seems my faith in you was well-placed," he joked.

Rikku giggled a little, but her heart wasn't in it. People underestimated the hypello because they just simply didn't seem to _mind_ what others thought of them; after what she'd seen, though, to laugh about Jecht's new "title" seemed cruel.

Jecht, too, didn't seem to be in the mood to joke around and only managed a wan imitation of his usual cocky smile. "'ey, I'm gonna go hang out with the driver, I guess," he said. "I still need to apologize to him for... well, y'know." Ignoring Braska's look of surprise, he turned without waiting for an answer and climbed right back out of the palanquin.

"Did I offend him?" Braska wondered out loud.

"Let him go," Auron said abruptly. "At least he came to the proper conclusion on his own this time. Savor the moment."

Braska ignored him, a perceptive frown crossing his face. He leaned forward and strained to catch the conversation that had started between Jecht and the surprised hypello leading the shoopuf. At least, Rikku guessed the hypello was surprised, since it had bothered to direct one of its eyes towards Jecht instead of the river.

"I don't think he's simply apologizing," Braska observed. "It looks like they're actually... conversing." Jecht let out a loud laugh and pointed to himself, and Braska lifted an eyebrow. "About blitzball, of all things."

"Hmph. Rikku, go tell Jecht to leave the driver alone."

Scowling, Rikku sat defiantly on the seat next to Auron, making sure to drip liberally across his newly-dried coat. "No," she said breezily. He sighed in annoyance and shifted out of her way, but she scooted across the seat with him.

"He might very well be trying to pawn his next drink off of the thing," Auron warned her.

Braska, who was observing the conversation between Jecht and the hypello with interest, shook his head. "Somehow I don't think that's the case. He said he would change, after all. I trust him." A thoughtful look crossed his face. "Speaking so candidly with that creature, though... I'd always thought the hypello weren't interested in our world. I wonder..." he trailed off speculatively, tapping his chin.

Rikku smiled as she watched Braska learning something new; apparently Jecht could be more of a hero than any of them had realized - and he wasn't even trying. "Yeah, just trust him a little," she soothed Auron. "You might be surprised, but I guess even Jecht can do the right thing once in a while."

* * *

_**AN:**__ Anybody hate blitzball as much as I did? In the real world, the record for a human's longest held breath is slightly over sixteen minutes. Of course the real world is not Spira, which regularly defies all laws of physics. In FFX-2, Rikku and the rest of the girls actually are pretty good Blitzball players. Winning the tournament is the only way to gain the AP Egg accessory._


	27. Frozen

**- Chapter 27: Frozen -**

"So what's this place we're goin' to called again?" Jecht called out as he ambled down the packed dirt road, hands behind his head.

"Djose," Braska answered, a few paces behind. "The temple of the Thunder God Ixion."

"This one's a god, huh?" Jecht asked, his brow furrowing. "I thought you guys called 'em aeons."

Auron didn't even bother to glance in Jecht's direction as he spoke, his voice dripping with thinly veiled irritation. "Of course it's an aeon, you fool. The term is simply an expression of respect."

Jecht's face twisted into a scowl of annoyance. "C'mon man, I get it already! No more sword lessons. Fine, I can live with that. But you gotta at least _talk_ to me sometimes!"

Without answering, Auron distanced himself from the blitzballer with a quickening pace.

"How long is he gonna stay like that?" Jecht mumbled under his breath.

Rikku shook her head with a careless shrug. "We all know Auron can really hold a grudge. And you _did_ mess up big time. Maybe you should give him some space?" Stifling a groan, Jecht sagged, and Rikku gave his shoulder a sympathetic pat. "Here's an idea! Why don't you try talking with Braska instead? At least he won't bite your head off."

Jecht shrugged her off. "Whatever," he grumbled. He did slow his steps until he was walking alongside Braska, though, who gave him a sympathetic smile.

"You'll be fine," Braska reassured him. "Auron will come around with time."

A muffled "hmph" was heard from Auron's direction, which Braska politely ignored.

"Yeah, yeah," Jecht mumbled uncomfortably. Then, stretching, he grunted thoughtfully. "So what's this _Thunder God_ look like anyway? Is it as babe-a-licious as that Shiva chick?"

Rikku stifled a laugh at the look of dismay on Braska's face.

"I don't think we should refer to the Fayth of Macalania as a 'chick' ... and no, I don't yet know what Ixion will look like. A Summoner first has to establish a rapport with the Fayth before he can call forth an aeon's physical form." He sighed faintly. "One would think it becomes easier with time, but..."

"You won't fail," Auron interrupted. He stopped and looked over his shoulder from his position as vanguard, meeting Braska's eyes. "We will stand by you, however long it takes."

Braska smiled faintly. "Thank you. Djose's temple is a bit different from the others, though."

"You mean it don't have one of them crazy mazes in it?" Jecht asked hopefully. His face fell as Braska shook his head.

"I'm afraid not... the Cloister of Trials exists in each Temple, so that a Summoner can prove his or her worth."

"In other words, boooor-ring," Rikku chimed in with a pout. This one wasn't going to be as simple as the others; she'd never had the chance to see Djose's temple in action while the Fayth still lived inside of it. Still... after experiencing the joys of the Cloisters of Bevelle and Macalania twice, how hard could it really be? She smirked. "Don't worry - Rikku's here to save the day. This'll be a snap!" she boasted.

"Just like in Macalania?" Auron asked dryly. "Because you helped us so much then, too."

Sticking her tongue out, Rikku made a face. "I was _busy_. We had _stuff_ for me to be busy with then," she added as an afterthought. "Say, what are we gonna do about money? There haven't been too many fiends around, and Luca's practically right around the corner!" She made a face as she thought about the seemingly endless stretch of barren road that led from Djose to the blitzing capital of Spira. Even with the steady influx of fiends and bandits that plagued the highway, coming up with enough money stay comfortably in Luca was going to be a daunting task. Popularity had its price, and Luca's exorbitant costs easily rivaled those of Bevelle - and that was excluding the fee of the blitzball tickets she knew Jecht would demand.

Auron, too, looked uncomfortable at the mention of finances; Jecht apparently had no clue of what awaited them, and Braska - _well, he'd probably tell us to think of sleeping in the alleys of Luca as a camping trip._

As expected, Braska smiled at her without a trace of concern. "You shouldn't worry so much. Where there's a will, Yevon will provide a way."

Rikku grimaced. "I think I'm really starting to hate that saying. No wait, I _always_ hated it," she groaned. Slumming it in Luca wasn't high on Rikku's list of things-to-do; besides being the home to blitzball, the city was also an important commercial fishing point. If they didn't want to come out of Luca stinking like fish guts, they were going to have to come up with some cash, and fast.

Rikku leaned over. "Hey... no, really. What _are_ we gonna do? We can't afford to go to Luca like this," she whispered, noticing Auron's grimace.

"You and I, double duty for the next week," Auron answered her curtly. "We are not going to make our beds on the fishing nets of Luca's wharf."

Braska's smiled faltered only slightly as he opened his eyes. "Really, Auron. It wasn't that bad the last time."

Auron winced. "There were still a few crabs in those nets," he pointed out. "Live crabs."

"I simply saw it as an all-inclusive bed-and-breakfast," Braska said amicably.

Turning to Rikku without pause, Auron gave her a fierce look that could only have been borne of desperation. "Triple duty," he amended, and Rikku shot him a quick salute.

"'Ey! What's crabbin' got to do with Djose anyhow?" Jecht said irritably. "I thought this was some kinda lightnin' temple. Ain't it a bad idea to stick it right next to the sea?"

"You're partially right. Djose's temple is located near the coast, just as Besaid's is," Braska explained. "But the Temples of Yevon are over a thousand years old. They were built around the shrines of the Fayth, not for man's convenience." He smiled. "It works out to our benefit, in the end. If the temples did not exist where they are now, there would be no easy way for Summoners to prepare for the battle with Sin through a Pilgrimage. In order to prove ourselves worthy of receiving the Final Aeon, we must test ourselves at each of Yevon's temples."

"I get it," Jecht said, nodding to himself. "How many more of these places do we gotta stop by on this field trip before we get to Zanarkand, then?"

"Field trip...?" Auron quoted dangerously, but Braska waved him down.

"There are two more temples located along the outermost islands that we must travel to before we can begin the final journey towards Zanarkand."

Jecht fell silent, his face pulling into an unusually moody frown. "Final journey, final aeon... you guys seem all geared up for some kinda big _final blitzoff_ with Sin, right?"

Braska smiled faintly. "I wouldn't compare it to a blitzball game, but yes - that is in essence our goal."

Jecht's frown deepened. "But... didn't ya say before that Sin kept comin' back after ten years, no matter how many times it got beat down?" He scratched his head. "Maybe I'm missin' somethin' here, but what's the point? Seems to me like there ain't nothin' _final_ about it."

The group fell silent, and Rikku's eyes darted to Braska. He was taking his time while contemplating an answer; finally, he looked up with a smile. "The point is that we don't know what might happen this time. Yevon teaches that if we atone for our mistakes, we will one day defeat Sin. The Pilgrimages give the people hope. We refer to the confrontation with Sin as the _final_ battle because it requires the summoning of the final and most powerful aeon. That is also why we make our way toward Zanarkand, the most difficult of all temples to reach."

"Summoners in Zanarkand? Huh... ain't ever seen any of those while I was there," Jecht said distantly. If Braska's goal had been to stave off the incessant questioning, it had worked; Jecht's seemingly endless curiosity died with the mention of his home, and how much it had obviously changed from the city he knew.

A brief look of regret twisted Braska's expression, which he quickly masked. "But you were asking why Djose differs from the other temples?" he prodded gently. "You'll see when we arrive at the temple. It's rather hard to miss, actually."

Discussing the summoning of the Final Aeon was a guaranteed conversation killer, Rikku decided; fortunately they were already closing in on the welcoming bridge that led to Djose's temple. An imposing cliffside rose to the left of the path, while an abrupt drop-off to the right of the bridge bordered a seemingly endless stretch of sea.

"Here we are," Rikku said softly to herself, admiring the path. The cobblestones and way posts were still in good repair, richly decorated with Yevon's colorful banners which flapped in the cool breeze. It was so unlike the Djose she was familiar with - crumbling, dirty and clogged with both prospective diggers and junked machina. Here, the wind carried only the cool, pungent scent of the sea inland, rather than the cloying stink of oil and rusting metal. "It's so pretty," she murmured to herself, shocked at how different her recollection was from what actually lay before them.

The jarring dichotomy of memory and reality was ultimately her own fault, Rikku realized; Djose hadn't changed into a scrap yard overnight, after all. Fear of lightning had kept her own interactions with the temple limited until well after the Machine Faction had commandeered its empty hull. Even afterwards, when Djose was starting to be considered the new de facto Al Bhed home camp and she had wrestled with her own demons on the Thunder Plains, Rikku had nearly always found a reason to absent herself from visiting. If she was honest with herself, that reason was Gippal. Even though the cocky leader of the Machine Faction was hardly ever present there, the fear of bumping into him was more than enough to keep Rikku far away.

_With his position__ as head of the Machine Faction, Gippal's practically a shoe-in as Pop's successor._ Keyakku might have been able to fill Cid's shoes, but he was gone, killed in Yevon's destruction of Home. She remembered all too well her father's grief at the loss of his eldest son; it wasn't just family that he had sacrificed then. Rikku knew deep down that Cid understood neither she nor Brother had what it took to pull, and more importantly, _hold together_ the willful spirit of the Al Bhed. More importantly, she also knew that Cid saw Gippal's interest in her - which was more like an interest in anything on two legs with breasts - as his chance to keep the reigns of leadership within the family.

Wrinkling her nose at the memory, Rikku suppressed a shudder. _Arranged marriages are for Yevonites, not me,_ she thought viciously.

"Is something wrong?" Jumping with surprise, Rikku was jolted out of her memory only to see Auron eyeing her speculatively. "You look as though you were contemplating something important."

"I wouldn't call it _important,_" Rikku said airily. "I was just remembering something I'd actually rather forget." _Oh, Pops would freak if he heard me saying that about his big wedding plans. I wonder if Gippal would freak, too? Naw, that guy would jump at the chance to get close without the risk of Cid breaking both of his legs._

"I don't believe you." Auron's deep voice cut through Rikku's vivid imagining of Cid attempting to hog-tie herself to Gippal with an Al Bhed promise rope. "You're thinking of someone important to you."

Rikku frowned. "Hey, how do you know? I could be thinking about what I had for lunch, y'know. Which, by the way, was nothing?" she added with a pout.

A hint of a smile ghosted across Auron's face. "No," he said with authority. "It's a person. You wouldn't bother to think that much otherwise."

"Hey!" she protested. "I think all the time! And not just about people!"

"Really?" Jecht interrupted with a grin. "Could've fooled me!"

Auron's smile fell off abruptly and he leveled a frosty glare at Jecht before turning back to her. "We can talk about it later. When we have a little more _peace and quiet._" Rikku watched him stalk off with mixed feelings of relief and disappointment.

"Can't a guy get a break?" Jecht muttered.

Rikku glared. "Look who's talking! You were making fun of me just now!"

Jecht shrugged, unconcerned. "So? It was for a good cause. Ya don't mind, right?"

Rikku opened her mouth to protest - and tripped as a loud shriek reached her ears. Looking down, she lifted her foot and found a trapped monkey eyeing her balefully from under her heel. Recovering its squashed tail, the tiny thing chattered at her before scampering onto a bridge post to stare her down. "Hey, little guy! Didn't see you there..." Rikku cooed at it nervously. They might have been cute, but Ghiki had taught her very clearly that a furious monkey was nothing but trouble. "Umm, sorry?"

The monkey glared at her, and then abruptly launched itself at her face. Ducking instinctively, Rikku winced as the monkey flew over her head with a loud screech.

"Close call... hey guys, watch the monkeys!" she yelled as Jecht let out a belly laugh. She scowled. "Hey, what's so funny?"

"You!" Jecht said, pointing. "You're actually scared of a damn mon-!"

A furry body plastered itself against Jecht's face, cutting him off. Muffled shouts could be heard as he staggered across the bridge, clawing at the writhing ball of fur that had attached itself to his head. "Get it off! Get it off!"

Rikku winced, and Auron looked on impassively. "Should we help him?"

Shrugging, Auron strode towards the temple, stepping around Jecht and continuing down the path. "Like attracts like," he said. "Just make sure he doesn't fall into the water."

"Well, he is moving in the right direction," Braska observed as Jecht slammed into one of the posts, sending a few more monkeys flying. At least three more of them had joined the first attacker, hanging off of his shoulders, arms and legs. "But we finished the last of our rations on the way here," he observed dubiously. "I'm not entirely certain _how_ we could help Jecht."

Another partially-stifled scream was heard - _"...bit me on the ass!"_ - and Braska and Rikku winced. Digging around in her pouch, Rikku's hand closed around a small grenade. "Well, I do have one last trick up my sleeve..." Cupping a hand over her mouth, she called out towards Jecht. "Stay still! Help is on the way!"

"Is that wise -" Braska started to say, but Rikku had already pulled the pin.

"Let 'er rip!" she yelled, tossing the grenade at Jecht. There was a loud boom, and then the monkeys scattered as Jecht collapsed onto the ground. "Hey, it really worked!"

"Uhh," Jecht groaned, sitting up with unfocused eyes. "Who turned out the lights?" He rubbed his face groggily. Then he swiped a hand over his eyes again, this time more urgently. "Wait... my eyes... the little bastards got my eyes! Aww, hell! I can't see nothin'!"

Rikku waited carefully to avoid Jecht's new, monkey-free flailing limb assault before darting in and slapping him on the side of the head. "Relax, loser. You're not blind, I just hit you with a smoke bomb. It'll wear off in a little bit."

"A smoke bomb? What the hell were you thinkin'? You coulda killed me!" Jecht yelled, scrambling to his feet. He swayed unsteadily as he rose to his full height, and Rikku smirked as she grabbed him by the arm and steadied him.

"You could say I owed you one," she chirped, slapping him firmly on the back to emphasize her point and nearly sending the disoriented man reeling back to the ground. "Besides, it got rid of the monkey problem, didn't it?"

Braska cleared his throat. "That wasn't really necessary. The wildlife of Djose is peaceable enough, as long as you don't provoke them." Even as he spoke, a small ring of adoring monkeys had gathered at the hems of Braska's robe, looking deceptively cute and innocent as they watched him with their large eyes. "Besides," he continued, seemingly unaware of the animals' attentions, "it would be cruel to take away Jecht's first sight of one of Yevon's more spectacular temples." With a whirl of his staff and a few softly spoken words, he whisked the blindness away from Jecht's eyes.

Rikku swore she heard the monkeys cooing in a unified _aww_ as Braska's soothing magic hummed through the air and hid her envious glare. "Well not all of us can be perfect," she muttered under her breath.

Jecht stretched next to her, blinking and obviously enjoying the return of his vision. "Maybe he lines his robes with banana peels," he said. Then he turned full-circle, taking in their surroundings. "Gotta say, Braska. I don't see nothin' special 'bout this place yet."

Braska smiled quietly and made a small gesture. "Follow me." As he turned to walk down the bridge, the ring of monkeys surrounding him simultaneously froze, their ears pointing upwards. Then, in silent streaks of white, they scampered away in unison, disappearing between the rocks.

Rikku froze. "What was that?" she asked.

"They finally figured out he wasn't gonna donate any bananas to the cause?" Jecht quipped. He dropped his hands away from his head, though, one lingering on the hilt of his sword, and sniffed the air. "Hey, you guys smell somethin' weird?"

Braska, too, had stopped, a slight frown marring his features. He spared a cursory glance at the rocks, and then turned towards the drop-off, facing the open sea. "The monkeys went into hiding. Something frightened them."

"Eh?" Jecht was asking, but Rikku was already backing down the path, feeling a roiling sensation in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't a scent Jecht was noticing, but something far more insidious.

"I'm gonna go get Auron, okay?" she said nervously.

"No need," Auron replied as he approached them quickly. His sword was already out, and Rikku swallowed.

"Please say that's just my stomach making me queasy," she moaned, reaching for her daggers and hoping that her denial would break the horrified trance falling over them.

"Strange, that it would come this close to the temple," Auron was saying to Braska, who only shook his head.

"They say it's drawn to the Hymn. Though, to my knowledge it has never assaulted an actual Temple before. The presence of the Fayth must be enough to repel an open attack..."

"What? What're you guys talkin' about?" Jecht asked, his frown turning anxious.

Rikku shushed him impatiently. "Sin," she whispered, scanning the deceptively calm waters for any sign of motion whatsoever. A ripple caught her eye, and she pointed instinctively. "Over there!"

Even as she shouted the water broke, waves cresting over the massive hull of the monster as it surfaced. An inhuman roar shattered the silence, and the ground around them shook. Gigantic waves parted and smashed against the cliffside as Sin crested along the water, its cracked and pock-marked skin hardening into enormous fins which pulsed almost lazily in the air.

"Holy shi-" Jecht was mouthing, his eyes wide. _He's never seen Sin like this before,_ Rikku realized; they'd only fought against Sinspawn to date, and Macalania's forests had been much too dense to display the full size of the creature. This Sin was truly impressive, and what was worse, it was miles off the coast - and the mere sight of it was still enough to make Rikku's knees go weak. It was bigger than she remembered, and she stifled a moan.

"How many years has it been again since the last Calm?" she squeaked.

"Too many," Auron said grimly.

"Nearly thirty," Braska added, eyeing the beast on the horizon. "It's grown a bit since I last saw it."

Rikku felt herself reeling; even from this distance, Sin's aura was beginning to affect them. She clapped a hand over her mouth, trying to inhale lightly. "The toxin! We've gotta get outta here!"

Auron nodded curtly. "Summon later," he commanded Braska, pushing him roughly down the path towards the temple. "We need to get to safety first."

"But I can still -" Braska protested, his eyes trained on Sin. Rikku stared and flinched at what she saw on the Summoner's face; fear, obsession and... _hatred?_ Something disturbingly close to it warred openly across his expressions.

"Later! There'll be fiends and Sinspawn enough to deal with at the Temple," Auron was saying, now bodily dragging Braska away from the cliffside.

As if waking from a trance, Rikku shook her head and elbowed Jecht, who was still gaping.

"That's the thing that brought me from Zanarkand?" he wondered. He looked at Rikku in confusion. "Did it eat me?"

"Jecht, focus! We've got to cover them, the fiends will be here any minute! C'mon, do your job! Help me protect Braska!"

Coming out of his stupor, Jecht gave Rikku a tense nod. "Yeah... don't know how we're gonna protect anybody if that thing decides to come over here," he added.

"Rikku!" Auron called out, and she gave Jecht one last look before racing towards the others. She saw soon why they'd pulled up short; a Basilisk had squeezed out from between the rocks, attracted by the same noxious aura that was making her feel so woozy. Two Funguars had also sprouted nearby, brought into early bloom by the toxin. "Have you fought these before?" he asked her tersely.

Rikku didn't bother to answer; time was short, and with Sin on the coast she didn't want to risk staying in the open. Sprinting forward, she heard Auron's soft curse behind her as he followed. "Rushing in with no plan?" he grunted at her as he prepared his sword. Ignoring him, she focused on the Basilisk, trying to avoid its gaze. _Pyreflies, pyreflies..._

"Look out! The plants have teeth!" Jecht was shouting from somewhere behind them, and then flickering flames washed over Rikku's skin, tongues of fire that burned painfully wherever they touched open skin. Gasping at the sudden pain, Rikku's concentration broke. It was too late to stop; her hand was rushing in, and suddenly, it wasn't a creature of pyreflies anymore but just a really huge, ugly snake and she _hated _snakes -

"Oww!" Rikku yelled as her palm slapped against the hard, unyielding scales of the furious fiend. It let out an answering roar and swooped down towards her, its fanged mouth open and dripping acidic saliva. "Aaaah!" she screamed, cowering instinctively against the strike.

The hit never came; a swoosh of air passed over her head followed by a wet squelch, and the creature let out a shriek of pain as it skid back a few inches. It was enough space for Rikku to back roll out of the way of the Basilisk's flailing limbs, and to her surprise Jecht soon joined them, covering her retreat with a few quick hits of his blade.

Auron grunted and pulled his deeply-embedded sword out of the snake, and Rikku marveled at his raw power. She recognized the attack; a power break, he used to call them - a concentrated strike to a fiend's weakest point, to knock its strength away. "Thanks," she wheezed, and Auron whirled his sword around, flicking some blood off of the blade.

"We need a plan," he said tersely, trying to keep an eye on the fiend even as he avoided its deadly gaze.

"Plan? We can just hit it with our swords 'til it dies!" Jecht protested, forming his fingers into a familiar triangle before throwing a Haste spell over Auron. "Let's do it!" he cheered, raising his own sword and rushing in towards the Basilisk headlong.

"Jecht!" Rikku yelled, but it was already too late to stop his charge. Unaware of the dangers, the blitzer looked up mid-strike and froze in place, telltale signs of graying petrifaction working its way over his legs as he stilled.

Auron let out a few oaths under his breath. "Can you destroy the Funguars with your magic?" he asked Rikku, breathing heavily.

"I already have a plan," she assured him. "Take care of the snake, and don't worry about me this time." _Because I won't fail twice._ Gritting her teeth, she rushed in headlong again, ignoring Auron's shout of dismay.

_I'm stronger than you. I know it. You're nothing but pyreflies. Give!_

She struck hard, pushing her hand through, _between_ the Basilisk's layers, reaching, searching desperately until her fingers closed around something small and hard. With a shout of triumph, Rikku pulled back the grenade, not even pausing in her retreat as she lobbed it at the cliffside. The ensuing explosion sent massive chunks of rock and dust flying into the air, temporarily blinding her as she scrambled in what she vainly hoped was the direction of her companions.

The smoke slowly cleared, and Rikku managed to make out the uniquely-shaped form of Braska's feathered circlet, waving like a banner in the dusty aftermath. She saw that he was leaning over Jecht, who was looking decidedly less grey than before. "Did I get 'em?" she asked breathlessly, spinning around to watch Auron face off with the Basilisk. Rays of reflected sunlight flashed into her eyes as she tracked the battle, caught along the blade of his sword in the constant motion of his deadly dance.

Braska coughed and straightened, his eyes scanning the cliffside. Then he smiled. "Effective," he noted, pointing at the two newly-formed Funguar sculptures gracing Djose's path. "Auron might need some..."

Another squeal of pain was heard, and Rikku watched as the Basilisk burst into a cloud of pyreflies at Auron's last, savage strike.

"... assistance," Braska finished.

"Wow," Rikku said, allowing herself a moment to be impressed. Auron turned almost immediately to face them, ignoring the pyreflies that were still swirling around him.

"No time to talk, let's go!" he shouted at them, pointing at the path.

"Right," Rikku said, helping Braska heft a woozy Jecht to his feet and hurrying after him.

"Guuuh..." Jecht groaned, finally regaining the use of his limbs as they half-dragged him down the road. "Maybe I should take them lessons with Auron more seriously..."

Rikku clenched her teeth. "You did good. Just be glad Auron's better, right now. I don't know if we could take another Basilisk..."

Auron pulled up short, motioning for them to stop. "Wait," he said suspiciously. Violent waves burst against the cliffside in a deafening roar, and in the short lull that followed, Rikku heard it - the sound of falling rock, a scrape of scale against stone, and she let out a tiny whimper.

"But we just fought that," she moaned, and stared at the not one, but two Basilisks that slithered out from between the stones to greet them.

Jecht shoved off of her, gripping his sword even as he staggered unsteadily towards Auron. "Who cares? We'll take 'em down, just like the other one," he growled.

Auron nodded curtly. "I'd rather take our chances with the snakes instead of Sin," he said pointedly. Even he was beginning to sweat, though; the oppressing sensation of the toxin was taking its toll on all of them, fighting aside.

Rikku gulped and swallowed, putting on her best game face. _I __**really**__ hate snakes,_ she thought miserably, wishing she could give in to the toxin's call to simply curl up and fall asleep. "Yeah, let's do it!" she forced herself to cheer instead, dancing in place. _I'm not going down without a smile on my face._ "You ready, Braska?" Hearing no answer, her heart skipped a beat - _Was there another fiend? Did the toxin get him?_ - and she whirled around to look at him.

He was kneeling on the ground, his staff outstretched, eyes focused on the air before him in abstract concentration. "Braska?"

"Shh!" Auron pulled her back brusquely, causing her to trip and stumble against his broad chest. Steadying herself, Rikku blinked as the pyreflies gathered around the Summoner and exploded into a rainbow of crystalline color.

"He... he's gotten better at Summoning," Rikku breathed as she watched Shiva burst out of her icy prison with a careless gesture.

"Sin is here. He's motivated," Auron replied. Then he raised his voice, turning to address Jecht. "All we can do is stay out of his way."

Jecht, too, was staring as the towering aeon stalked haughtily past him, leaving trails of icy crystals in her wake. "Don't need to tell me twice," he said, scrambling away from the ice elemental. "Don't she look madder than before? That is one bitch I don't wanna cross right now..."

Even as he observed, Shiva was already kissing her fingertips in a deadly greeting, icy winds beginning to cyclone around her. Rikku's eyes widened. "Diamond Dust? He's making her do that _now?_ But we're too close!"

Auron grunted in agreement, releasing Rikku to kneel in front of Braska. "Take cover!" he shouted to her and Jecht.

"No way," Jecht growled, joining Auron and doing his best to make a human shield for the Summoner.

"Don't be a fool, at least I'm wearing armor," Auron hissed at him, but Jecht's answering glare matched his own.

"If that's what it takes to show you I'm serious, then live with it."

Rikku crouched down on Braska's other side, shivering violently from the numbing cold surrounding them as Shiva gathered her energy overhead. Auron stopped glaring at Jecht to stare at her.

"You, too?"

"Heh heh..." Rikku laughed nervously. "The more the merrier, I always say!"

The look of surprise and frustration eased off of Auron's face even as the powerful attack Shiva was unleashing on the unfortunate Basilisks screamed through the air, transforming the balmy ocean cliffside into an arctic wasteland.

"Together, then," was the last thing Rikku heard him saying, and then the world was blanketed in white.

**.x.x.x.**

Rikku woke with a gasp, wheezing and shuddering. "C-c-c-cold!" she croaked, sitting up and wincing at the painful stiffness in her limbs. She relaxed minutely as she saw Braska sitting across from her, apparently safe, although his eyes were dark with concern.

"Rest," he soothed her, easing her back down onto the bed as her panic subsided.

"What happened? Where's Auron and Jecht?"

Braska's head dropped slightly. "Auron is fine. We were rescued by the Warrior-monks stationed at Djose. In fact, we're inside one of their field tents right now. Auron is negotiating with the other monks for our stay here."

"Monks," Rikku said, biting the inside of her cheek. Yevon's army of brutal enforcers. There was a reason Auron was so good at what he did, and now, apparently, he had company. A whole one, from the sound of it. "What're they doing all the way out here?"

"This wasn't the first sighting of Sin near the coast," Braska explained. "It was seen moving near Luca, out towards the smaller villages. I believe the Church deployed them to protect the other Temples."

"And Luca," Rikku added, only to be met with silence. "I mean it's not like they can ignore it, right?"

Braska sighed quietly. "Protecting the Temples must take precedence over protecting Blitzball tournaments," he murmured. Rikku understood what that _really_ meant; Luca was in many ways a rival city to Bevelle. Bustling with commerce and nearly as large and densely populated as the capital, it was a major hub for trade and interaction for all Spirans, fuelled by their love for sports. Unlike Bevelle, however, there was no Fayth, no Temple, and no overwhelming presence of Yevon - just Blitzball, a game which crossed differing cultures and artificial borders as easily as the Church drew them. No, Rikku understood, if Sin actually attacked Luca the Church would be the last to step in and interfere. _Just like Mushroom Rock all over again,_ she thought bitterly.

"One of Auron's friends is directing the Monk's activities now - Wen Kinoc, have you met him?" Braska smiled faintly. "I suspect that Auron is currently trying to... _broaden_ the Church's perspective," he added.

"Fat chance," Rikku mumbled to herself. Catching Braska's look of surprise, she quickly modulated her tone. "Uh, I mean, Kinoc's not here right now, is he?"

Braska shook his head, and Rikku tried to hide the look of relief that crossed her face. "No... but Auron's name still carries some weight with the rest of the monks. I'm sure everything will work out for the best."

"Mm-hmm," Rikku added cheerfully. Turning her head, she squinted into the darkness and made out another form on the cot next to her. "Is that Jecht?" she asked, pushing herself up on her elbows. He looked out for the count, breathing deep, steady breaths and for once not snoring loudly.

Rikku waited as Braska stared at the man in question. The silence drew out, and unable to bear the growing tension, she bit. "Helloooo?"

Braska's expression was pinched and drawn. "... I healed him," he finally said. "He's still asleep. Auron said he had told him to flee, but Jecht wouldn't listen." His eyes were still fixed on the slumbering man.

"It's all right. It looks like he's just sleeping," Rikku said, stretching the kinks out of her back. "I'm sure you did your best." She stopped as she noticed Braska going still. "Huh? What'd I say?"

With a sigh, Braska stood up. "It's nothing," he answered with an air of weariness. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Rikku. I just need to step out for some fresh air."

Rikku watched him go, frowning as she massaged one particularly sore muscle in her shoulder. _Wonder what his problem is?_

Braska pulled back the curtain covering the entrance to the cramped tent, and stopped as he nearly ran into Auron.

"My lord?"

"She's awake," Braska murmured quietly, before brushing past Auron.

Rikku winced at the sudden onslaught of light from his exit and turned her head away - and froze. A small beam of light was shining across Jecht, and as she stared she saw a myriad of angry red welts crisscrossing his arm. The thin strip of light widened, exposing more of his chest, and the trail of scars continued, bisecting his tattoo and creating angry roadmaps across his dark skin. Even without seeing the rest of him clearly, Rikku finally understood why Braska had left so suddenly.

She could almost see it... Jecht, kneeling alongside the rest of them, surrounded by Shiva's summoned frost. The ice encasing them as the aeon lifted a hand, her expression as cold as their deadly blanket. Her fingers snapping, shattering their crystal tomb. Millions of sharpened, tiny knives cutting, piercing, stabbing across Jecht's open skin as the shards flew. Rikku covered her mouth and let out a small gasp of dismay.

"His face was scarred as well," Auron said quietly from his position at the door. He let the curtain drop slowly, the ray of light thinning to a tiny sliver once more. "He nearly died to protect Braska from his own aeon."

"What about us? Why are we - oh no!" Rikku felt a small flush of guilt as she hastily ran her hands over her arms and legs, checking for welts and scars. She felt a weight settle beside her as Auron sat on her cot.

"You are fine," he said. Even in the dim light, Rikku could tell he wasn't looking at her. "You just couldn't leave, as I'd asked you to," he sighed, a note of muted anger coloring his words.

Rikku frowned, drawing her knees up under her chin. "Why are you so mad about it? And why am I okay while Jecht looks like a tic-tac-toe game?"

Auron stared at Jecht, not meeting her eyes. "I knew what would happen. I couldn't let you take the brunt of that attack. You're nearly as lightly dressed as him," he added, jerking his chin towards Jecht.

Rikku watched him cautiously, the tension radiating off of Auron nearly palpable. "You protected me?" she asked. "I thought you were guarding Braska."

"I failed in that duty." Auron's fist tightened against his cloak. "Jecht did not."

Feeling strangely guilty, Rikku dropped her head. "I should have listened to you." She knew she should have been happy - she was getting her wish, after all: Auron had protected her. It should have been romantic - to be the center of one man's attention, placed above even his own strict code of duty as a Guardian. Instead, she felt brittle inside. _I made him choose. Protect Braska, or protect me. And he chose me. _She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Hnn. Guard your emotions, then guard your Summoner," he said bitterly.

Rikku looked up at Auron. "Do you regret it?" she asked softly. "Us, I mean?"

Auron finally turned to face her. "I never asked for this," he said honestly, his words blunt.

Rikku nodded, ignoring the stab of hurt in her chest, and dropped her chin back onto her knees. "Do you at least forgive Jecht now?" she asked, remembering how hard the other man had been trying to catch Auron's attention - and approval - before for the attack.

One eyebrow rose in surprise. "Braska was correct. He has always had potential. I'm the one who was blind." His words tapered off into the darkness.

"I hear a _but,_" Rikku prodded.

"Forgiving myself is another matter."

His words weren't really that much of a surprise. _Don't turn away just because it hurts,_ she wanted to say. Instead, she let out a small sigh of disappointment. "I'm not giving up on us, you know. There's gotta be a way for both of us to be happy."

Auron said nothing, but he didn't protest, and Rikku took that as an encouraging sign.

"But I really am sorry." She swallowed. "Next time I won't make you choose, okay?"

"There won't be a next time," Auron declared, standing. "I won't allow it to happen again. Meet us outside when Jecht wakes. The Temple awaits us."

* * *

_**AN:**__ Many thanks again to Fwe for much needed beta proofing and butt kicking!_


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